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 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 1
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A reply to an Unread Message?Page 1 of 1    
I get a Meet Me from a woman.
I send her a short message.
It is marked as unread, but I get a reply message from her.
Does the system here allow a reply to a message without reading the previous message?
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 2
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A reply to an Unread Message?
Posted: 10/24/2018 6:43:23 AM
It should be possible for User A to message User B, then User B sends User A a message without opening the other message. The "conversation" will probably show the messages in one thread, looking the same as if it's a reply.


Instead of clicking on your message, she might have clicked on your profile and sent a message from there.


Could be a scammer / spammer. Most actual women would have been curious about the contents of a message.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 3
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A reply to an Unread Message?
Posted: 10/24/2018 7:26:05 AM
You're probably right.

Her upbeat message ends with "Hope to hear from you".

So I reply.

And I get an Unread Deleted.

WTH!
A reply to an Unread Message?
Posted: 10/24/2018 5:28:22 PM

Her upbeat message ends with "Hope to hear from you".

So I reply.

And I get an Unread Deleted.

WTH!


Yup... that's the world of online dating!

I'll receive a Meet Me message so I'll send the person a message then not hear from most of them. I wonder if some of those Meet Me messages are computer generated so make us feel wanted :)
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 5
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A reply to an Unread Message?
Posted: 10/24/2018 7:40:24 PM

I wonder if some of those Meet Me messages are computer generated so make us feel wanted :)


There are legitimate meet me's in between the bots(pretty obvious) and usually gone off site quick. Just log in via laptop/desktop and at the end of the url there is an id=

Note the id of say a recent user you know just joined but isn't fake then after a week you at least know most are legit people who have an id lower than this. If they reply is a different matter entirely.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 6
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A reply to an Unread Message?
Posted: 10/25/2018 6:51:40 AM
One possibility is that women are getting so many messages that they sometimes mass-delete messages including some they might have wanted to read.

Maybe the POF mailbox should have an option to separate conversations by who (self or other) initiated it, and depth of communication (number of message exchanges).
This will help users just mass-delete the unwanted initial mails from users they did not initiate communication with, and communications that have no replies.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 7
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A reply to an Unread Message?
Posted: 10/25/2018 7:04:44 AM

One possibility is that women are getting so many messages that they sometimes mass-delete messages including some they might have wanted to read.
several women have told me they do just that! every loser online sends them messages and they just delete them all. part of the reason my initial message is brief.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 8
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A reply to an Unread Message?
Posted: 10/26/2018 7:50:48 AM
Now she's missing from my "They said Yes" list under Meet Me. Can one withdraw/reverse an initial Meet Me request on POF?

But I can still see our message exchanges, 2 still marked Unread, 2 marked Unread Deleted.

So I don't think I'm blocked by her.

Do women on POF set themselves up for failure this way?
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 9
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A reply to an Unread Message?
Posted: 10/26/2018 8:11:23 AM

Do women on POF set themselves up for failure this way?


YES. It must be so.

Just surf the forums and you will find an endless supply of threads that illustrate the hypothesis:

"Women are to Blame for MY FAILURE to get a date,"

AKA

"Fakes, Fatties and Fool's Gold Diggers,"

AKA

"It MUST be them, because it sure as HELL ain't me!"
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 10
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A reply to an Unread Message?
Posted: 10/26/2018 8:36:58 AM
I really liked what she had to say in the 2 messages she sent me, after her initial Meet Me request. She seemed very intelligent compared to others and seemed very concerned about less fortunate people. Didn't seem like a scam. Not as attractive as others on POF though.

I have other dates I go out with, so I'm just curious about this person/case. Not really interested in pursuing, for lack of time and getting more Unread Deleted.
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 11
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A reply to an Unread Message?
Posted: 10/26/2018 8:42:15 AM

Not as attractive as others on POF though.


Interesting that this comes up after a perceived rejection. Hopefully, you will find it easier to sleep tonight.


I have other dates I go out with, so I'm just curious about this person/case.


Then why is her appearance a factor?


Some guys are so insecure.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 12
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A reply to an Unread Message?
Posted: 10/26/2018 8:55:07 AM

Interesting that this comes up after a perceived rejection.


The perception of attraction is made on initial view, not when you read it in a forum posting and try to erroneously sequence events here.

And I believe most Meet Me requests only involve a judgment on the attractiveness of the profile pic. Nobody reads the full profile text.
A reply to an Unread Message?
Posted: 10/26/2018 3:57:10 PM
The Meet Me feature allows me to see people who might not come up as a match so I do both. I tend to read the profiles over just clicking yes.
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