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 lewzer87
Joined: 7/26/2018
Msg: 1
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Borderline Personality DisoderPage 1 of 1    
Hey, I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and I'm very interested in dating a woman who also has BPD. I know too many that may seem like a bad idea and of course, many of you have your own ideas or beliefs about this topic, but please try not to comment about whether or not it's a good or bad idea. If you don't have BPD you really don't know anything about it, despite what some textbooks or websites tell you about it.

The reason why I would like to date someone who also has BPD (and is aware of her disorder) is that I feel the connection and chemistry between two partners who share such a disorder would be amazing. I've met a woman once who also has BPD and I've never met a person in my life who wanted as many of the same things that I do. We never dated and I regret trying to.

I do understand the risks of such a relationship. I am well aware of the downsides. I'm also sure that there is someone out there who has BPD and doesn't appreciate anyone else's skepticism and just wants someone to love her.

With all due respect, if you don't have BPD, you don't know much about it. I've lived with it my entire life, so I'm ready to make an effort to be with someone who is more like who I am and not with someone who just "doesn't get it" and thinks I'm "crazy" or there's "something wrong" with me.

There aren't many men who have BPD and I happen to be one of them. So, I would like to try and date someone who also has BPD. I believe the amount of love, passion, understanding, and commitment two people with BPD would have, on top of how much they have in common in so many areas, would be amazing. Of course, there are the downsides, but one of the most effective ways of helping someone with BPD is understanding what they're going through and who better to do that than someone who has the same thing?

Thank you for reading. If you do not agree with my post, please save your time. I'm only looking to see if anyone else on here has BPD.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 2
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Borderline Personality Disoder
Posted: 10/25/2018 5:31:11 PM
What do you think the chances are you'll come across someone with BPD considering only 6% of Americans suffer from it? What I see from reading this is basic "black and white" thinking.


If you don't have BPD you really don't know anything about it, despite what some textbooks or websites tell you about it.

So you decided you're right therefore it must be so. Can't be more "black and white. Did you read it in a textbook that unless you have BPD you can't understand it or relate to it? Doubtful. In fact that sentence assumes anyone else with BPD will see things the same as you. Not going to happen no matter what you wish.


With all due respect, if you don't have BPD, you don't know much about it.

It may be respectful but it's bullshit. Anyone who's dealt with someone like you for long periods of time will have an understanding or be able to relate. Your parents had to deal with you and now you're saying they're clueless because they don't have it? As well other people with mental illness if they suffer from the same symptoms can relate. Your symptoms are not exclusive to BPD.

1. N- Fear of abandonment
2. Y - Unstable or changing relationships
3. Y -Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self
4. Y - Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors (e.g., excessive spending, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
5. Y - Suicidal behavior or self-injury
6. Y -Varied or random mood swings
7. N -Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness
8. Y - Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights
9. Y - Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality
10. Y - Splitting (black and white thinking)

As you can see I indicated yes to 8 out of 10 of those symptoms but I'm not BPD, I'm bipolar.

As for dating someone else who's BPD it is possible but it is more than likely it will end badly. Imagine if you have an argument how will it end. If you're both thinking black and white the argument will never end because you will both see yourselves as right and neither of you will see the other's viewpoint. Then anger will more than likely happen which could lead to disaster. Take number 7, Constant feelings of worthlessness. What would happen if it kicked into high gear at the same time for both of you. Neither of you would be able to support the other and could cause anther symptom to sprout. And so on.

However since you see dating someone with BPD as your best option go for it. Just remember it may work, it may not and this applies to everyone in the world not just you.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 3
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Borderline Personality Disoder
Posted: 11/5/2018 6:11:03 AM
People with personality disorders have trouble in self-care and may not see that they deserve to treat themselves well. If you're in therapy and DBT, I don't see why you can't be in a healthy, loving, mutually loving relationship who is also committed to their self-care.

I wish you well.
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 4
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Borderline Personality Disoder
Posted: 11/5/2018 8:02:34 AM

I would like to try and date someone who also has BPD.


How do you plan on finding someone who also has been diagnosed with BPD-especially if you're looking for someone in your area and in the right age range? I doubt women who have the condition will put it in their profile, knowing it will immediately scare off most men. Plus, how would you know if someone with the condition would want to date someone with the same condition-especially if it may involve mood swings? They might be looking for a more stabilizing force by being with someone who doesn't have the condition. I don't see any quick fix solution, other than going on dates, mention your condition, and hope for the best.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 5
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Borderline Personality Disoder
Posted: 11/15/2018 5:45:54 PM
Good Lord, this dude is serious?
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 6
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Borderline Personality Disoder
Posted: 11/16/2018 6:01:41 PM
^^^^^^

__TEXASCHICK__ he's more than serious he's sharing his personality and the way he thinks as result of it. Very black and white thinking as he showed. If we don't have BPD then there is no point in us interacting with him since we couldn't relate or understand his thinking. Imagine having a conversation with someone like him
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 7
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Borderline Personality Disoder
Posted: 11/16/2018 10:36:40 PM
Probably should get some dialectical behaviour therapy before even considering dating.Also very bad idea for 2 BPD people to date as I imagine it would be explosive and maladaptive for both individuals.
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