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 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 1
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How many of you in our age group actually go on dates through contacts made via this site? I'm curious as I've never had any legit connections through POF so maybe I'm being too genuine and nice?

A guy at my work who's 40 and single says he will never hook up with another woman for anything long term and reckons he's had a few meetups with people from here. He says the way to make women want you is to 'treat em mean to keep em keen'. OMG really? Is this a version of the old belief (which I don't understand) that even when you are with someone you are supposed to still keep 'chasing' them regardless?

Just putting it out there... Clearly those of us contributing to these discussions are real people, but maybe we're the only ones. ;-) The rest could be spam profile robot generated fakes.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 2
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Plenty of Fakes
Posted: 10/25/2018 6:37:43 PM
You don't see how unkind this post is?
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 3
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Posted: 10/26/2018 7:55:06 AM
YOU ... really believe you are "being too genuine and nice?"
I know this is not a request for review, but your username: zonavar69
Your profile:
Do you have children? Prefer Not To Say

Interests
Sensuality
Adventure
Long baths
Fixing and making stuff
Excitement
Natural goddesses
Seduction
Outdoors
4wding
Exploring
Intimacy/sex


"Prefer Not To Say" whether you have kids or not seems sneaky (not GENUINE) and
the rest ( zonavar69, Sensuality, Long baths, Seduction, Intimacy/sex)
is inappropriately sex-oriented (not NICE - it's gross).

This all points to a level of creepiness, not to mention a lack of self-awareness.

I can only imagine the way that women who click on your profile must feel about fending you off when meeting in person.
Icck!
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 4
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Plenty of Fakes
Posted: 10/26/2018 6:34:58 PM
Matching people with ANY dating service is a mathematical long shot - it only takes a handful of 50/50 decisions to whittle a list of thousands down to one or two, and the women are playing the same game. That means your odds combined are probably less than being hit by lightning. And carrying a 1-iron around doesn't increase your odds with the ladies.

Just because you might have found a connection a couple times through other channels does not mean the site doesn't work for others. I'm on here because I refuse to pay money for matching. There are other free sites as well, and I have been there, too. You still need to get out and have a life of your own.

Best advice - be humble. Your status in here, your opinions, your life - for most in here - is less important than their pet goldfish. Realize no matter how good you may sell yourself, many simply are just NOT buying.

Next advice - be positive. You get more attention with sugar, not vinegar. It's very tempting to use these profiles like a blog detailing your experiences, but the next average Jane stumbling upon your profile does not know, and for the most part, will not care what happened before. All they are looking at is your present tense of mind and the perceived potential to be a partner.

Last advice - show some character. Using vague terms like 'Adventure' means nothing - you might as well call yourself 'New' and 'Improved'. Don't just say you like Ice Cream - name a flavor. Don't just say you like Movies - throw a couple titles out there. You have far too many pictures of your face that look like a row of mug shots - get a pic photo bombing a celebrity, or in front of a local landmark, or using depth of field pretending to 'eat' a Burger King sign in the background. Use humor. Be yourself. Just avoid the obscene gestures and molesting farm animals. Those photos NEVER work. Don't ask me how I know that. ;)
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 5
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Plenty of Fakes
Posted: 10/26/2018 6:48:55 PM
This and sites like are are, for all intents and purposes, nothing more than a hookup site. ;-) Sure perhaps people view the issue around not answering the kids question as a red flag but the options available don't fit my situation... Yes, I do have kids. No, they do not live with me. No, they are not all over 18. So none of the options are correct. I'll just change it to 'yes' and then everyone will presume I have kids living with me and that's another major red flag. So as a guy, I can't win. ;-)

Trying to be genuine/honest clearly doesn't work. Seems only guys who are sleazy get connections that work out to something.


not to mention a lack of self-awareness


This I don't understand - is that a veiled implication that I'm being fake/callous/shallow/ignorant/disrespectful/etc.?
 Rumours
Joined: 6/4/2018
Msg: 6
Plenty of Fakes
Posted: 10/27/2018 9:25:50 AM

Trying to be genuine/honest clearly doesn't work. Seems only guys who are sleazy get connections that work out to something


Obviously...you have found out that is a lie...
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 7
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Posted: 10/27/2018 9:28:43 AM

zonavar69
This and sites like are are, for all intents and purposes, nothing more than a hookup site. ;-)

Uh … no. Wrong. There are hookup sites, this isn’t one of them. You are treating it like one, as pointed out by calliopedreams in message 3. You need to make your profile fit the site it’s on.

zonavar69


not to mention a lack of self-awareness

This I don't understand

You took her comment out of context. Quote the whole sentence and it makes perfect sense.

calliopedreams
This all points to a level of creepiness, not to mention a lack of self-awareness.

What she said, what she meant by what she said, are crystal clear. There are elements of your profile which women will find “creepy”, and you don’t even seem to be aware of that.


Sweet_Danimal makes some very good points in message 4, you should really go back and reread that post. The single most important point – ”You still need to get out and have a life of your own”


Sweet_Danimal
I'm on here because I refuse to pay money for matching.

Why not? Have you got something more important to do with your money? If you can’t afford it, that’s one thing. But if you can, and just refuse, then (IMHO) you’re just limiting yourself.
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 8
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Posted: 10/27/2018 3:14:02 PM
HI, Zonavar -

I have been to Australia and the women there don't seem to be much different than here (USA).
They want to be treated with consideration and respect, NOT fetishized before even meeting.


No "Normal" woman (whatever that is) on a regular dating site will respond to a message from any guy with the number "69" in his user name, unless, of course, she is planning to bill him for her "favors" at the end of the evening.

But, your name is not really your issue.
You seem to have some cognitive dissonance about what you want/expect from OLD. You speak of your friend who may treat women shabbily in his quest to "hook up" as if he is someone you would like to emulate. At 50, you have your filters set for women as young as 30. Not only is that not possible on this site, it is likely to be a red flag for women in your age range, who would doubt your intent (Relationship - Long Term), and wonder if you would always be looking for a "younger model."

You have several mug shots of you Gurning, as if your intellectual capacity is rather diminished. There are other ways to make yourself appear to be fun-loving in your photos, without being childish. No woman in your age-range wants to take on the raising of a child-man.

Now, you may come back and take a defensive posture, claiming you are not any of these things, but it really doesn't matter who you may be, what matters is how you come across, and I am sharing with you what I see in your profile.

Some of your pics should be deleted, because they are not doing you any favors. And, an out-of-the-shower pic ... Really? I know that is something you would love to see a woman post, but we would rather see you in an everyday situation, much as you would appear on your first meeting with us. Personally, I like the BBQ pic, where you look relaxed and friendly. A couple of your pics make you look high.

Anyway, none of this matters, because you don't even know why you are on the site. You may need some time off to reflect, or perhaps move your profile to an actual hook-up site, where you can let your freak flag fly. There is a long way from your Interest of "Mindfulness," which seemingly highlights a refined intellectual capacity, and your username, which suggests a base carnality. Of course, you can have both attributes, and we all possess a sex drive (for most of our lives, hopefully), but it is not something that is particularly distinguishing in our panoply of personal character traits.

I thank Henry for clarifying my point. He is successful in meeting people from this site (and elsewhere), so perhaps you can take his advice.

Good luck!

P. S. Just because you do not receive replies does NOT mean profiles are "Fakes." It means that none of the persons you contacted wish to meet you.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 9
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Plenty of Fakes
Posted: 10/29/2018 11:00:53 AM

How many of you in our age group actually go on dates through contacts made via this site?


I used to, back in the glory days of OLD.

Not anymore.
Not since OLD has gone so pathetically downhill.

Such a sad situation.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 10
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Posted: 10/29/2018 3:03:06 PM

I'm on here because I refuse to pay money for matching.



Why not? Have you got something more important to do with your money? If you can’t afford it, that’s one thing. But if you can, and just refuse, then (IMHO) you’re just limiting yourself.


I was on paid sites for a while - on Match for about three years. My conclusion is the people using these universal paid sites are cut pretty much from the same cloth - hell, nearly 70% of them are the exact same people -- the only difference is the loftier expectations that come with paying and expecting more. Reality does not change. It's still the same menu. It's kind of like ordering ten chicken nuggets at McDonald's and expecting fourteen because you are willing to pay a dollar more. There is no requirement for them to give more than what is on the menu.

Speaking of a better way to spend my money.... mmmmmmmm...

People paying insane amounts for matching thru singles groups are paying for the adventures, or having dates with all expenses paid - that kind of thing - they are vetted from the 'ordinary' because of their extremely high prices, but it still doesn't mean their character or intelligence is better just because their wallet or fashion sense may be.
 PollyR107
Joined: 4/8/2016
Msg: 11
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Posted: 10/29/2018 3:52:32 PM
OP, I’m in this age group and met my current bf on here, we’re still going strong 💪

I agree with ohenryx that POF isn’t a hook up site even though a number of members might want to treat it like one. There’re a lot of folks who genuinely looking to date. If I come across a guy who wants to get intimate immediately, I’m out. It’s not what I want. Or if a guys wants to chat for good, again, I’m out. Not looking for a pen pal.

I keep my profile because I want to be on the forums.

@sweet danimal, I used to be on match.com as well. But I didn’t find men on there dateable. I quit after 6 months. I agree that the quality of people on paid sites isn’t much different from free ones. It’s their characters and personalities that’ll determine compatibility as a partner.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 12
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Posted: 10/30/2018 8:28:14 AM
I met some real women from POF.
Well, actually they are on other dating sites too, and I've communicated with them elsewhere too.

I text/chat, then talk on the phone, then set up to meet: I only meet with very few of the women.
With women expecting guys to pay for the first date, it can get expensive if you want to meet every woman who wants to meet you sooner rather than a little texting/chatting later. Maybe Canadian women are different and don't expect the guy to pay for everything on the first date.
 savona58
Joined: 9/23/2017
Msg: 13
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Posted: 10/30/2018 9:25:12 AM
OP your profile is EXACTLY what I avoid... come on be honest in your profile just say you are only wanting to hook up for a shag, a blow or what ever else you can get on here for free. You are ther person you are complaining about in your opening post. Just saying ...
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 14
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Posted: 10/30/2018 11:25:53 AM
Some of the ladies have given the OP good profile advice. That said, the "69" is probably his birth date - an innocent mistake. Yet, I feel it should be changed for best results.

As to your question, yes, playing hard to get is good....... the problem is, many men move too fast.
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 15
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Posted: 10/30/2018 11:35:37 AM

Maybe Canadian women are different and don't expect the guy to pay for everything on the first date.


Canadian women expect a guy to go hunting before meeting, and bag a moose or caribou or seal, and make a moose/caribou/seal Mignon dinner.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 16
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Plenty of Fakes
Posted: 10/30/2018 1:10:24 PM
I'd seriously question anyone that was comfortable coming
here accusing others of being a flake.
Terrible picture, creepy profile...not that there's anything wrong
with that. My profile isn't anything to write home to mom about
for sure.

I think there are a lot of strange people here, but I've been out
and about beyond my zip code and I feel comfortable saying there
are strange people everywhere. If they're not your cup of tea....why
should they concern you?
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 17
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Posted: 10/30/2018 3:16:11 PM

I'd seriously question anyone that was comfortable coming
here accusing others of being a flake.
Terrible picture, creepy profile...not that there's anything wrong
with that.


Well, at least his profile is "genuinely" creepy as opposed to "fake" creepy, so he's got himself covered.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 18
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Posted: 10/30/2018 8:20:01 PM

That said, the "69" is probably his birth date - an innocent mistake.


If he was born in 1969, he would be 49. His profile says age 50. Very rare that the age is fudged upwards. Who knows?
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 19
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Posted: 11/2/2018 8:42:07 AM
Dear Lord, you actually think a 30-year-old is going to date you and be genuine about affections?

Better polish that European car.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 20
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Posted: 11/3/2018 7:41:03 AM
never mind. pass the popcorn.
 Calisparkle
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 21
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Posted: 11/7/2018 9:58:18 PM
I would never meet a guy with "69" in his name. Really.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 22
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Posted: 11/12/2018 3:38:48 AM
Fake profiles don't usually post on these forums, I think. lol

I have received numerous Meet Me and have been Favorited many times, especially on the weekends, by fake female accounts that get closed very soon thereafter. The account names almost always have an underscore _ character in them, and many end in 4 hexadecimal digits, possibly indicating a computer generated account.

The single profile pics are sexually suggestive and much younger than my age group. Some pics look like those of legitimate women, stolen from other dating sites. If only they knew what their pics were being used for...

If you do contact them, they will lure you using one of many website names, via a custom link. Almost all point to one of 2 raunchy websites with DTF people.

Women, from what I hear, don't receive these kind of people contacting them. Theirs tend to be more subtle, and designed to deprive them of their money by some seemingly nice but desperate guy.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 23
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Posted: 11/12/2018 4:25:42 PM

I was on paid sites for a while - on Match for about three years. My conclusion is the people using these universal paid sites are cut pretty much from the same cloth - hell, nearly 70% of them are the exact same people -- the only difference is the loftier expectations that come with paying and expecting more. Reality does not change. It's still the same menu. It's kind of like ordering ten chicken nuggets at McDonald's and expecting fourteen because you are willing to pay a dollar more. There is no requirement for them to give more than what is on the menu.

I used both Match and POF in the past. There are flakes, jerks, liars, cheaters, people just looking for an ego boost or text buddy etc on every dating site. However I had relatively better success on Match. More emails, dates, and even a few short term relationships. Although there was some overlap, I do think overall people were relatively more serious on Match. When I was on Match and POF, I was more active on Match since I was paying for it. I'm sure there were other people that felt the same way.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 24
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Posted: 11/14/2018 8:18:13 AM
Match has many uppity people.
I prefer the lower end people on POF.
 Michaelisajoy
Joined: 2/2/2018
Msg: 25
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Posted: 11/14/2018 2:23:22 PM
It looks like a Profile from Adult Friendfinder.
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