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 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 1
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I've given up on trying to be nice in my profilePage 1 of 1    
Too many people say the same nice things in their profiles. It makes everyone on POF look generic.
In my demographic, I figure if they were really that nice, they would not have been divorced.

I think it is best to list attributes that might cause incompatibilities down the road, and many people don't do that up front anymore.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 2
I've given up on trying to be nice in my profile
Posted: 11/15/2018 9:39:21 AM
Looked at the profile. Maybe someone will find all this to be their cup of tea and won't be turned off by false information followed by explanations. Good luck OP.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 3
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I've given up on trying to be nice in my profile
Posted: 11/15/2018 11:49:29 AM
You should know better than to have a meme as an image. Memes are useless; you can paste the same text into your about me. Exception: if one or more words are banned by the site (some of my Facebook friends post memes with bad words on their timelines). The meme you posted is highly generic, so it's not helping your attempt not to be generic.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 4
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I've given up on trying to be nice in my profile
Posted: 11/15/2018 12:45:10 PM

Maybe someone will find all this to be their cup of tea and won't be turned off by false information followed by explanations.

Not sure what you mean by "false information". The incidents of members compelling other members to close their accounts here were actual, but the members involved are still on POF.

I do receive fewer messages from women since the inclusion of the prelude to my profile, but those that do reply now seem to be appreciative of what was said and I still chat with them. The last thing I want to inadvertently discover is another one of those "100%" women mentioned.



You should know better than to have a meme as an image.

A meme was very temporarily my primary profile pic, and I received a lot more responses with that. But then, all the memes got deleted at once. But I still see women using memes as secondary and even primary profile pics today. So why just me, I guess..

A picture is worth a thousand words. Copying just the text into the profile and losing the image reduces the effect of the overall message.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 5
I've given up on trying to be nice in my profile
Posted: 11/15/2018 12:55:20 PM

Not sure what you mean by "false information".

"Note: I can't change my birth year. The listed age reflects an unintentional 10% reduction/discount. And I am Aquarius not Capricorn, if that matters."
My interpretation of the above three sentences is that you provided POF with an incorrect birth date.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 6
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I've given up on trying to be nice in my profile
Posted: 11/15/2018 4:35:47 PM
I created the account in 2011, over 7 years ago.
I never provided an accurate birth date to any dubious dating website for security reasons, so I made it a round date month year that was close to the actual.
It was much later in 2018 (when I started dating again) that I realized it can't be changed on POF.
But I already paid for a multi-month subscription.
Need to create a new account to fix the problem, which I will when my current subscription expires.

I read some of the good advice on writing dating profiles posted here many years ago, and I have a fundamental difference of opinion.

The advice given seems to be to present a biased "positive-only" perspective of the person, and is designed to attract the largest number of people to the profile by making it look only good.

Might be a good strategy if you are trying to sell something, but is that what we all want?

I'd rather have 5 compatible people look at my profile whom I can pick one from, who are aware of all the nuances associated with me (so that I don't have to go through the slow/long process of realizing and explaining incompatibilities), than have 200 people think they'll like me because of all the positive-only things I said, whom I will have to weed through.

e.g. I go to Church every Sunday morning. Not negotiable. Often seen as a "negative" even by many of the alleged "Christian - other" people on POF.
So, I've listed it explicitly in my profile, even though it is considered "negative" and will very likely reduce my response rate.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 7
I've given up on trying to be nice in my profile
Posted: 11/15/2018 4:55:19 PM

e.g. I go to Church every Sunday morning. Not negotiable. Often seen as a "negative" even by many of the alleged "Christian - other" people on POF.
So, I've listed it explicitly in my profile, even though it is considered "negative" and will very likely reduce my response rate.

Good idea and kudos! I go to church on Saturdays (Saturday evening works better with my schedule) and am completely open about it when I meet someone. If you're a brainwashed snowflake, you're not my type. If you don't have any spirituality about you, you're not my type. If you can't respect my beliefs even if you don't share them, you're not my type. And if you don't connect with someone spiritually... you don't have a connection.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 8
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I've given up on trying to be nice in my profile
Posted: 11/17/2018 8:58:50 AM
My profile recently caught the attention of a woman who was a former model at Chanel when she was much younger! No, she's not a fake (if you look too good around here, people think you're fake), but lives a little further than my usual radius for dating. She invited me to visit her, and I probably will when I travel past there on business in the future.
My interest in Christianity and the Bible in my profile is what attracted her!
She speaks and sings (in a choir) in 4 languages, and we discuss/chat on many topics of interest: cooking, foreign languages, euro-colonization and influences on other countries and cuisines, etc.
(If she were a scammer, she hasn't done or said anything that would indicate it)

Thank you, POF!
Yes, I did send her a POF gift which she appreciated.
Where else could you find such people, right? At your local bar?

Sometimes the perceived "negativity" in a profile attracts precisely the kind of non-generic people I'd like to meet.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 9
I've given up on trying to be nice in my profile
Posted: 11/17/2018 1:47:42 PM
Awesome news! :)
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 10
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I've given up on trying to be nice in my profile
Posted: 12/8/2018 8:15:43 AM
I came across an attractive woman's profile that indicated she was specifically looking for someone who was scuba-certified or at least willing to become scuba-certified.

That's the kind of criteria I think POF people should include in their profile to make it non-generic, and to prevent too many applicants from contacting them and flooding their mailbox and causing women to mass delete their unread messages, potentially missing a qualified canidate.
 Indiallias1111
Joined: 12/10/2018
Msg: 11
I've given up on trying to be nice in my profile
Posted: 12/15/2018 4:37:21 PM
I enjoyed reading your profile. A pof guru that has found a way to turn the pof down time into a fun friendly way of finding penpals.

But I mean really it is a numbers game from attraction to who people are talking to at the time and you happen to be in an age bracket where a high number of women are going for much younger than their age range. but like anything in life there is a percentage for everything so what is, is. Pof is a lot smaller than it was 10 years ago with tinder and bumble and even now as always, is a much higher number of men than women.

10 years ago when single on pof I had many a long flowing convo with potential dates. With mobile phone popularity people cannot be bothered as much as they used to now-a-days its often snippet talk. You may write a 20 page hilarious story with a million reply topics for the reader to feed off and just get. 'lol your funny.' My point is. There is someone for everyone is easier just to be happy in yourself and be yourself and when find the right one you will or you start ****ing about personas like I just did. When get fed up, best to take time out, other-wise will start being fedup and kicking stones like you sound you have gotten to the stage of. But also sound like you are enjoying the change so good luck with it always good to find a way to connect with others. If you was after a critique would say make a first paragraph explaining your profile before jumping in with the pof guru talk.

other than that keep being you and enjoying the experience how you see fit. :)
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 12
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I've given up on trying to be nice in my profile
Posted: 12/16/2018 7:06:15 AM
Wow, I'm thoroughly impressed by your thoughtful, descriptive, honest well-written profile. It gives me inspiration to change my own.

Intereresting that you said your BMI. I'm contemplating doing that too, it might make for less wasted dates.
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