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 mikem275
Joined: 8/17/2018
Msg: 1
Can’t get this girl off of my mindPage 1 of 1    
Hey there, so recently I came across this girl on Instagram that I used to talk to on this site a couple years ago, although we never officially met we still had a great connection. I would like some advice on a non creepy way to initiate a conversation, it’s been bugging me for 2 weeks and I’ve had dreams about her and can’t stop thinking about her, I’m still dating and putting myself out there but I feel as though she’s a good opportunity that got away, all I’ve done so far is follow her Instagram and view a few of her stories. I still have her phone number but it’s been over a year so I don’t know how I feel about texting her, should I message her on Instagram ? And what should I say ?
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 2
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/19/2018 10:03:02 PM
I say message her. Most girls would feel happy getting a message out of the blue saying they like you and want to go out with you. And if she isn't interested then at least you know.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 3
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/20/2018 1:28:19 AM
Contact her. But expect her not to be interested in a romantic way.

You had such a great connection that you haven't spoke in over a year?
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 4
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/20/2018 3:02:50 AM
^^^
Yup. I won't hazard a guess on what you should do unless I know how it sorted out the first time around.
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 5
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/20/2018 8:30:42 AM
"...although we never officially met we still had a great connection."

What you had is a fantasy connection-not a real one. Why didn't you two meet the first time around? Chances are, she's not who she portrayed to be (or maybe she is a he). If you message her and she agrees to pick up where you left off, make sure there's a face-to-face meet soon after. If she doesn't agree to it, she's hiding something, which is your cue to move on.
 jerseynative7
Joined: 10/26/2018
Msg: 6
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/20/2018 6:31:30 PM
It doubtful she felt the great connection that you did. Hence the never actually meeting. Its been a year. She may not even remember you.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 7
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/21/2018 12:15:38 AM
Hmmmm....interesting. Go for it but keep your expectations low. If someone I never met or only met once popped up out of the blue a year later, I'd think they were a bit desperate.



If she doesn't agree to it, she's hiding something


Or maybe she's just not overly interested. If someone you've never met doesn't talk to you for over a year, they're obviously not that interested either & you don't owe them anything. Has little to do with "hiding" anything.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 8
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/21/2018 11:52:29 AM
Fantasy.

The end...
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 9
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/23/2018 7:12:27 AM
If it did not work out the first time, the odds say it's dead.

But don't feel bad, you did not really know her. She's probably not all that you imagine.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 10
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/23/2018 7:28:36 AM
If she gave you her phone number a year ago, and you never called her and asked her out, she probably lost interest in you. I don't think you should contact her again. Your window of opportunity with her has long passed.
 sparklingsapphire
Joined: 10/29/2018
Msg: 11
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/27/2018 12:32:14 PM
Just leave the girl alone, its pretty presumptuous to assume she is still single, infact its insulting. Im personally fed up of guys contacting me from one year or two years ago expecting me to pick up where we left off. For me its a no, every time.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 12
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/28/2018 8:14:25 AM
Some women might think a man that contacts them a year later has come full circle because he effed all the others that were available to him and none of them worked out. A year later you might think you are not just second choice but the 12th one.. I would say no but if you must... use the contact you already have, not the one you have been stalking her with.

If you love someone set them free
If they come back to you
Set them free again ...
That means no one else wanted them.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 13
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/28/2018 9:28:32 AM
I don't know if I completely agree. Sometimes people do come around to appreciate someone they took for granted before. Sometimes it takes a relationship or a few relationships with someone awful before you realize the earlier person was actually quite a catch.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 14
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/28/2018 12:14:44 PM

Sometimes people do come around to appreciate someone they took for granted before. Sometimes it takes a relationship or a few relationships with someone awful before you realize the earlier person was actually quite a catch.


Sure, but that hardly applies in this case. He's never met this girl. Sounds desperate and like he has no other options, which can be insulting if you're on the receiving end of such behavior.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 15
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/28/2018 12:47:58 PM
^^^ Exactly. If she wasn't his priority a year ago, why would she want to settle for being his afterthought now? Pass.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 16
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/28/2018 6:21:32 PM

Sounds desperate and like he has no other options


Pretty much describes most of the threads the departed OP has started and didn't stick around long for.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 17
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/29/2018 6:39:58 AM
What does he have to lose though? Timing is everything.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 18
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 12/4/2018 6:54:01 AM
Go for it. Why not? LIke someone else said , you have nothign to lose.

At the very least she talks for a bit and it goes nowhere, or you bang her and then move on.

About 6 or 7 y ears ago now I was away on a trip and was bored and looking through facebook. Saw this girl I was friends with in high school and messaged her out of the blue. We chatted, she was divorced , we made plans to get together when I got back home.

SO we met up, chatted at a bar , caught up a bit and i drove her home, she invited me and and chiki chiki, and we dated for a while until i found out how clingy and needy she was and that I wasnt all that into her.

But hey, if I never messaged her I'd never know , now i know!
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 19
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 12/13/2018 7:51:46 AM
What does he have to loose? - time. rejection.

Part of smart dating is efficiency. You have to know when to fold, pack up your stuff, and move on to the next woman.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 20
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 12/13/2018 8:10:27 AM
But that's the trouble with dating in today's world. At times we are too quick to move on to the next person. Maybe this was the initial problem, this guy moved on to the next then realized he shouldn't have been too quick.

Tossing the idea of "soulmate" aside, I believe there is only a small percentage of people that would be compatible with each person. And sometimes we dismiss people prematurely. If you don't get to know a person sometimes you might miss out on a person who would truly be great for you. If upon reflection, this guy thinks this girl is worth the time, he should pursue it. Again, what does he have to lose? Time? He could waste more time by continuing to look for the right person if the right person was already in front of him. Yes, he may have missed the boat and she's long gone but not necessarily. Some of you guys just assume because POF has such skewed gender ratios that women can find someone so easily but the truth is, in the real world, outside of online dating, women may actually have the opposite ratio problem. While 80% of single men go online and aren't really looking in the outside world, 80% of women are not online and looking in the real world (that's not a real number but it's just an imaginary number I am throwing out there to make a point).
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 21
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Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 12/14/2018 4:58:30 AM
^^^^^^^^that is true, many women are looking in the offline world. Many women I talk to won't do online dating because of too many poor experiences. It's a shame.
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