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 JacBath6
Joined: 10/31/2018
Msg: 1
Why am I not getting repliesPage 1 of 1    
I have sent a few dozen messages, however I have not received that many replies. I have also noted that quite a few women have viewed my profile, but not actually responded.
Can people please advise me what may be wrong with my profile/how I could improve it?

Also, when I send messages, I always try to ask at least one question, either relating to something on the person's profile or something open such as 'what is your favourite film/band' ? Is this a good approach to take?
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 2
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Why am I not getting replies
Posted: 12/9/2018 8:04:18 AM


I have sent a few dozen messages, however I have not received that many replies. I have also noted that quite a few women have viewed my profile, but not actually responded.
Can people please advise me what may be wrong with my profile/how I could improve it?


You already have a profile review thread. Easy to find because your forum history has few posts. If you make significant changes to your profile, you could bump your existing profile thread. Many people mess up by requesting profile help in the "Ask A" section.

Your thread title is lame, so this thread probably won't get many views.



Also, when I send messages, I always try to ask at least one question, either relating to something on the person's profile or something open such as 'what is your favourite film/band' ? Is this a good approach to take?


In my opinion, not an ideal approach. Years ago, some forumites suggested a lame formula of making a first message of three sentences related to the recipient's profile (typically common interests), ending with an open-ended question about that interest. The formula looked like an impersonal cut-and-paste. If her interests list included XYZ: "I see you like XYZ. I like XYZ too. When was the last time you did XYZ?"

Such messages are bad. A high percentage of people probably go with that type of message, so she's probably received many nearly identical messages. The sender doesn't stand out and it's annoying to see the same thing over and over. It's also sterile and unromantic, probably not humorous.

The only benefit of asking when was the last time she did an interest is to weed out phonies who claim they do things when they actually don't. Many female profiles claim they do "guy stuff": hiking, fishing, canoeing, watching sports, etc, when in reality she last did that over 3 years ago with family members.

Asking about favorite bands, movies, etc, is lame. Many people might view answering as a chore. Less likely to answer if it's not fun to do so.

Many gals have posted that her man "had her at hello". If she likes your photo, something as lame as "Hi" will get a response. Any message will work as long as you don't say something wrong. If she doesn't like your photo, there won't be a response no matter how great your message is.


I don't put much time or energy into message content. Typically one or two short sentences about a photo or something in the profile. About half the time there's a short question, but it's not a lame formulaic obvious question. Last time I got a response, her profile had said she didn't want to date a civil engineer. My message was "What's wrong with civil engineers?" (Her reply was that many scam profiles claim that profession). Her photos didn't contain anything to think up a decent first message.

If I can think of a short funny message, there is often a response of at least "LOL".


"not that many replies" is better than zero. Specific to your age, the cute young gals probably get huge numbers of messages. As I said in your profile thread, better for you to meet girls in real life.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 3
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Why am I not getting replies
Posted: 12/10/2018 1:43:43 PM

Can people please advise me what may be wrong with my profile/how I could improve it?



I have also noted that quite a few women have viewed my profile, but not actually responded.


You will also note that , as of this writing, 65 "people" have viewed your profile, and no woman has responded here either.


I have also noted that quite a few women have viewed my profile, but not actually responded.


Welcome to the club.
The meeting will start in a few minutes.
Coffee and donuts are on the table in back.


Can people please advise me what may be wrong with my profile


Are you 6 foot tall AND are you a male model AND do you own and drive a $1.4 million Ferrari LaFerrari?

Well, there you go, then.

It's not so much what's wrong with your profile- if anything- it's what's wrong with OLD itself at the current time.

Not enough women taking it as seriously and realistically as they used to years ago, and therefore not enough women participating as fully as they did years ago.
I was there when they did.

Best of luck.
 athenashelmet
Joined: 11/29/2018
Msg: 4
Why am I not getting replies
Posted: 12/11/2018 4:43:49 PM
Here goes. Don't ask for what you want and then get upset when you get it.
The pic with your hand up to your face makes you look angry, and older. Replace it with a close up actually smiling. You definitely need better photographs. Don't say you don't Snap Chat. You're not in your 50's so don't act like it. Be specific with what type of science/history you like to spark interest in someone else that might. The same with bands/music. Your profile is too vague, and says almost nothing about you to set you apart from the plethora of other profiles.

Write a paragraph describing yourself like its not a job interview. Show genuine interest when sending a message which includes mutual likes, not just a few sentences. Work on your social skills in real life, to have success online.
 Clear_River
Joined: 1/6/2018
Msg: 5
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Why am I not getting replies
Posted: 12/27/2018 4:12:58 PM
What normally draws me in is when guys emails something humorous to me. Something that is intended to make the reader laugh or smile. I sit up and take notice of those sort of messages as I don't get funny messages that often and I do appreciate them.
 project_adventure
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 6
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Why am I not getting replies
Posted: 1/10/2019 9:20:19 PM
Go to Walmart and take a look around. Of ALL the women you see there, how many would you be interested in asking out on a date? If the answer is less than 5%, then you might understand why so few women respond to your messages on POF (a dating site that can honestly be compared to a trip to Walmart, lol!). Welcome to reality.

Just as the majority of women don't appeal to you, you won't appeal to the majority of women, and you likely won't appeal to the majority of women you message.

To put it in better context, if you reviewed 1000 pictures, and let's say only 50 (or 5%) of them appealed to you, all of whom you messaged, would it really be fair to expect more than 5% (2.5) of the women you messaged to be interested in you?

Now, if you're the type of guy to walk into Walmart and start turning heads and shopping carts, you will have a completely different experience on POF. And even better, if you're the type of guy to turn heads wherever you go, you'll have a better experience on any dating site.

Give women a reason to turn their heads. And then, once you've gotten their attention, give them a reason to look deeper. Give them a reason to want to reply.

Good luck!
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 7
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Why am I not getting replies
Posted: 1/11/2019 6:39:03 AM
When I go to Wally World, I just want to get in and out as quickly as possible! Hopefully nobody will notice I was there!
 project_adventure
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 8
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Why am I not getting replies
Posted: 1/11/2019 9:00:09 AM
Hahaha! Exactly! That's why I love the "hide profile" feature so much.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 9
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Why am I not getting replies
Posted: 1/14/2019 8:00:48 AM
You're 22, get offline. Go do things you enjoy , try new things, and chat with the people around you. At 22 you're still figuring out who you are. Go do things you enjoy and the right people will be around you. Unless you want single moms and party girls, get offline.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 10
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Why am I not getting replies
Posted: 1/14/2019 9:26:06 AM
There is a lot of competition. In particular for men under 40 in OLD. That being said, when I got more emails and dates, it was often I added new and better pictures of myself and to a lesser extent after I revised my profile. The content of the initial emails had very little impact.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 11
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Why am I not getting replies
Posted: 1/19/2019 1:07:47 AM
I thought you were 40 looking at your main mini profile pic.


Why is a 22 year old sitting in an old lady chair for a dating profile picture?
You get about 2 seconds of a view then we move on.NEXT..

Show what you are wanting to convey in a picture.
Get up, look fun and interesting.
No one will read your profile with those pics
 ginghamgal
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 12
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Why am I not getting replies
Posted: 1/19/2019 12:01:07 PM

Why is a 22 year old sitting in an old lady chair for a dating profile picture?

The type of chair he is sitting in isn't the main problem. He's not smiling in any of his pictures. That will be a turn off to many women.
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