Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years agoPage 1 of 1    
This is a 1st Thread in many years, though I post to others threads often enough.

A few coworkers and I were chatting about people we may have had a crush on /dated early in our Military years, we ae all Vets. lol
It crossed my mind of a man I dated for a few months in 1980. I was 20 at the time. I managed after a bit of searching on FB, and messaged him.

Have any of you fellow POF ers has similar experiences? Good/ not good/ otherwise?
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/17/2018 11:27:00 AM
A good friend of mine reconnected with a woman he lived with for 7 years in the late 90's whom contacted him via Facebook. She initiated it and was all over him etc. But within 6 weeks she went cold because she couldn't take advice on simple things like her 2 1/2 year old needing own space in his own bedroom, and couldn't let the young child breath without hovering over him constant.. He referred to her as the love of his life so was gutted. She should've just stayed clear of him and out of his life.

If you are 100% serious then sure remain in contact but really think it through is all I can say. Living in the past is just that the past so just be careful for both of you.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/17/2018 12:05:50 PM
We are chatting, a relationship at this point is prob not viable as I live in Tx and he is near Boston. But is amusing the things we are recalling about the early 80's in general.

I suppose part of the reaching out has lots to do with the memories surfacing as one ages? I have made contact w/ a number of men /women I was stationed with through the years. But this is a first for a man I dated, we were both so young, me 20 and turning 59 next month, he was 22.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/17/2018 12:34:41 PM
I always say you can't go home again and believe this applies to relationships too, however that's my bias and I personally know a couple of people for who reuniting after decades apart worked out. I hope it works out for you! Distance is meh to me. There are air miles and good deals on flights to be had. One of the last seat mates I had on s cross-country flight was going to meet his rather new wife. They had met online. They still lived on separate coasts but travelled back and forth as often as they could. It's been about four years and I don't remember if he told me their long-term living plans but I was very clear that the arrangement was working for them.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/17/2018 12:45:34 PM
The experiences I had were positive only if the man and I parted ways amicably. If not, I wasn't receptive to being contacted again, no matter how many years had passed.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/17/2018 4:44:03 PM
Last year I did the same thing. We met, we talked, it looked like we might have started dating again. But when I found out she was monitoring my facebook posts, that's where it ended.

My posts, are my views. When I get told that my opinions are wrong, then I see one trying to run my life.

Nope, I'm not going that way, again.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/17/2018 5:15:08 PM
I recently dated my high school sweetheart. we talked about how things were 35 years ago and both missed what we had then. then we talked about the rest of our lives and it just wasn't there anymore. had I just met her, maybe, but just wasn't buying her line about how great a couple we were after a lifetime of no contact. at 18, it was special but now were just old and wore out begging for table scraps. I did enjoy seeing her again but it cheapened my memories. my homeroom angle was now Maggie may. the several dates were nice but would of rather kept the memories. I ignored her hints for sex and we never spoke again. I ignore the ex wifes but she still hints every time I see her.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/17/2018 5:56:10 PM
Purple, he ask me for friend req on FB

My mind goes there in a bit of a what if, or if things would have worked out if he wasnt on the Indy and about to do an Indian Ocean cruise, be gone for a year. I would have been gone to an overseas duty by the time he would have returned. (i did go on orders to Sicily) and then re up for Rota, Spain.
But that was the breaks of Military life

We are enjoying the reconnect, as friends at this point. Talking about Life in general stuff.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/18/2018 7:22:04 AM
You have to ask yourself, if it did not workout then, why would it work now?

It's not like it is in the movies, the chances are extremely low. You get one chance per person, per lifetime.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/19/2018 4:35:27 AM
Some people and the experiences with them are better left to the past, but that's me.

OTOH, others have reunited with past dates, former loves who were separated by unfortunate circumstances, and formerly married pairs and have been successful. (One example of a notable person, Marie Osmond, comes to mind.)

Another possibility is that they might cross paths with a person from the past and connect with them, only to reaffirm that they belong in the past.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/19/2018 11:54:57 AM

You have to ask yourself, if it did not workout then, why would it work now?


Um....people change and evolve. Very few of us are the same people we were 10, 20, etc years ago.

Texas, I say go for it. However, be realistic and keep your expectations low. You mentioned in another thread that while you would like to be in a relationship but online dating does not work for you and real-life doesn't present too many viable options either.

If people don't want to remain single for the rest of their life, it'd be best to take a chance and step out of their comfort zone, even moreso if these kinds of opportunities DON'T present themselves too often.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/19/2018 4:26:10 PM
TEXASCHICK.

Thank you for your service. God bless you.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/19/2018 6:29:09 PM
@SIISAA
One would think working the front desk in Eligibility, that I would come across viable men, if so I missed the clues, being in work mode. lol. I am for sure keeping expatiation low, exp as we live across the Country from each other, just enjoying the dialog at this point.

@Penny... It was my pleasure to serve. I enjoyed every bit of the 10 years.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/20/2018 8:33:30 AM



You have to ask yourself, if it did not workout then, why would it work now?




Um....people change and evolve. Very few of us are the same people we were 10, 20, etc years ago.


- yes, people change in some ways - but not romantic tastes.

I'm telling you, once you fall out of love with a particular person, you will never get it back.

To find love, you have to start out with a clean slate, a new person.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/20/2018 12:14:39 PM

I'm telling you, once you fall out of love with a particular person, you will never get it back.

To find love, you have to start out with a clean slate, a new person.


The OP stated that she dated the guy - not that she was in love with him. It's possible that love could develop between them over time.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/20/2018 3:27:28 PM
We were able to see each other once a week for about three months, he then had to go on Deployment for 11 months. We had at that point not even spoken of bf/gf. had kissed a few times, he was just the 2nd person i had ever dated. He was equally clueless. lol

As we were not in love at that time, cant fall out of it.

We then lost touch, when he left on deployment.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/22/2018 9:03:33 AM
^^^^^^^three months of dating is long enough to fall in love, but it never happened. So, it will probably be a repeat performance................................ of non-performance.

Test my theory if you want to, but I would talk to/date others at the same time. And hey, maybe he could be a friend? That great Kim Bassinger look-a-like that used to come around here once said, "Different people come into your life for different reasons". Not everybody is destined to be a lover.

It's a one in 1,000 shot.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer......... I believe in having a positive attitude and that love can be right around the corner. But reality comes into play also.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/22/2018 9:22:17 AM
You only live once. You have nothing to lose. Give it a go.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/24/2018 10:59:57 AM
Some update:
We made arrangements for him to call me on Sat @ 7pm, my time, and he did. We talked a bit about general stuff regarding our lives, and he ask about our loosing touch. And that he is really glad we were able to reconnect.
Said he had tried to locate me through FB search, but though he knew my Maiden name, I don't have it on FB.

He also told me he printed out my current FB profile pic and one of me when I was in my early 20's and placed them over his desk at home "as a ray of sunshine". I thought was sweet, and said so. We will make plans for another call soon.

PS,, my daughter said the pics were either creepy idea or that he may feel something. Her vote is that he may feel something. I suppose only time will tell, and am keeping expations low at this point.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/26/2018 8:38:27 AM
Good luck, TEXASCHICK. I hope things work out with him.
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/27/2018 6:49:33 AM

It crossed my mind of a man I dated for a few months in 1980. I was 20 at the time. I managed after a bit of searching on FB, and messaged him.

Have any of you fellow POF ers has similar experiences? Good/ not good/ otherwise?


I'm a few months shy of my 60th, & IMO a decent friend is always welcome in my life. I did recently get a friend request from a man I dated briefly 16 years ago & accepted it & informed him of my current status, etc. ASAP. We are fine w/ being FB friends as we had no animosity etc. in the past.


my homeroom angle was now Maggie may.

and r u still the 1979 version of Rod Stewart?


Um....people change and evolve. Very few of us are the same people we were 10, 20, etc years ago.

Texas, I say go for it. However, be realistic and keep your expectations low. You mentioned in another thread that while you would like to be in a relationship but online dating does not work for you and real-life doesn't present too many viable options either.

If people don't want to remain single for the rest of their life, it'd be best to take a chance and step out of their comfort zone, even moreso if these kinds of opportunities DON'T present themselves too often.


Texas, I'd listen to Siisaa
I'm older now too, I think when older we need to be honest & say less to choose from & to get real...


You only live once. You have nothing to lose. Give it a go.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/28/2018 11:40:31 AM
I do wish you all the best!
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago
Posted: 12/28/2018 12:43:43 PM
It depends on the reason(s) why a relationship ended. Unless it was on really bad terms (which isn't the case here), give it another shot.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Reconnect w/ a date from many, many years ago