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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !      Home login  
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 trooyy
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 1
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice ! Page 1 of 1    
Hey everyone:) so I had this perfect first date with her . Which included great chemistry, holding hands and French kiss. she also stated few times that she likes me during the date and sent me text saying that she had a great night etc after I dropped her off . After couple days later I invited her out again then she replied maybe Sunday when Sunday came I texted her around what time then she sent me long text explaining that she needs things to get done so she is not sure when she will be free but she texted that she would let me know when she is available I was okay with that and left it alone. I didn’t hear from her for 4 days then I texted her due to curiosity then she took a day to response saying with bunch of excuses why she couldn’t text me back and also she can’t meet me because she is very busy getting ready for vacation that’s in next few days. I didn’t feel like replying back her at all . However I still have interest in her . Please advise how should I handle this ? Thank you all and happy Xmas in advance :)
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 2
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/20/2018 8:08:34 PM
Nobody is that busy. She has time to do other stuff like other guys. Forget her and no more texting her.
 trooyy
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 3
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/20/2018 11:25:19 PM
I think you are right . My issue is I overvalue when a girl removes the barrier of physical interaction. She becomes someone important to me . I guess in today’s world kissing or holding hands do not mean much at all . I am old school minded. Thank you for your opinion on this :)
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 4
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/21/2018 5:14:53 AM
She could be that busy. I've never had a vacation that wasn't a rat race to get preparations done before leaving. Bad planning, stuff not working right, or working out right, she's focused elsewhere. I wouldn't pester her about it. By not doing that, you could be laying the groundwork for a future relationship, just by not creating any issues. Sit back, wait her out. If it doesn't work out, you'll know soon enough.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 5
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/21/2018 10:41:16 AM
Testing your nerves??????

Are you that tightly held together?

"so I had this perfect first date with her"

Not so perfect according to your post.

Maybe she did have a good times, but kept thinking about a red flag she ignored.

" Please advise how should I handle this ?"

Slow down. Don't try so hard. I scares people away.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 6
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/21/2018 1:39:32 PM
You've already asked her out twice, and both times she shut you down. I suggest you not contact her again. The ball's in her court now, although I wouldn't get your hopes up waiting to hear from her again. For whatever reason, her interest in you appears to have diminished.
 jerseynative7
Joined: 10/26/2018
Msg: 7
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/21/2018 2:15:07 PM
Theres nothing really to 'handle' You had an ok date. She hasnt shown any interest in meeting up again. Dont contact her again.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 8
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/22/2018 4:31:08 AM
If she said she'd get back to you, it means she's in control of whether or not she wants to respond to you. because of your petulance and impatience, she may decided that you're creep and now has to use excuses to avoid you in case you actually lost your nerve and do something nuts. Just leave her the hell alone, for crying out loud.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 9
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/22/2018 8:42:15 AM
"Maybe" dates and not accepting a date means she's not interested.

It does not matter if the first date was good; what matters is how she feels NOW.

Until they fall in love with you, which can take a couple of months of dating, you have no hook, so they can flake anytime.

No problem, just date others. You only need one good one.
 LeFouGamboj
Joined: 11/17/2018
Msg: 10
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/26/2018 11:15:09 AM
Msg 9 says:


It does not matter if the first date was good; what matters is how she feels NOW.
Until they fall in love with you, which can take a couple of months of dating, you have no hook, so they can flake anytime.


^^^ Spot on ^^^

OP asks:


Please advise how should I handle this ?


Don't reach out to her again.........you overplayed your hand and maybe she got turned off by it....or, she really is that busy.......either way, its her call to make, not yours.
 trooyy
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 11
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/26/2018 11:06:30 PM
So I have texted this girl a week later and she takes forever to reply my texts. Makes me feel like she is doing it on purpose not that she is busy or something. When I take forever to response back to her she replies faster. It’s just weird. I feel like she is playing hard to get but not sure . Why can’t these ladies be honest and direct about their feelings to the guys instead of playing games. Honesty is everything. That way no one will waste their time. I don’t care she is interested or what frustrates me she doesn’t speak up.i think that is just selfish. Girls do these not because of their personality but the todays society is influencing them when it comes dating. That just sucks
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 12
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/27/2018 5:01:35 AM

Girls do these not because of their personality but the todays society is influencing them when it comes dating. That just sucks


Nah....it's their personality....
and a blessing in disquise....because now you know what kind of person she is and you can move on.
and ahem....it is a huge indicator of "your" personality" that you are still trying to get with a girl that treats you this way from the get-go!!
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 13
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/27/2018 5:43:11 AM
@Trooyy

You aren't important to her. She isn't engaging with you. Do you need a big sign in lights before you take it on board? Move on for god sake and stop making a fool of yourself.
 gourmetchef2017
Joined: 11/7/2018
Msg: 14
Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/29/2018 6:04:34 AM
she's bangin' someone else...you'll have to move on...
 jerseynative7
Joined: 10/26/2018
Msg: 15
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 12/29/2018 9:52:03 AM
If you dont care if she is interested then why are you messaging her ? She doesnt message you back and has turned down date requests. What more do you need?
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 16
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 1/9/2019 2:32:56 AM
Keep playing it by ear....sounds like she's not on solid ground...let her figure it out and maybe she will come around....good luck but be cautious!
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 17
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 1/10/2019 12:34:49 PM
As soon as she said "Maybe Sunday" and did not follow up with you, it was over. Why would you want to be with someone so inconsiderate anyway? My guess is that the great chemistry had you thinking the real deal would soon follow. That is what you were chasing and she may have clued in to that.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 18
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 1/10/2019 12:52:48 PM
This all sounded high schoolish to me...I thought the OP was a lot younger...
and I was thinking...awwwwwww young angst.

But geez.
Do people still do this in their 30's?
 Clear_River
Joined: 1/6/2018
Msg: 19
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 1/12/2019 10:01:54 AM
I'm afraid she's just not that into you; as the saying goes.

Put your time and efforts into someone else.
 pfif
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 20
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 1/13/2019 5:31:13 PM
She trusted you enough on that first date to allow for some
intimate touching .. on that one night.

This isn't the first church of intimate touching means yada yada
at any point in the future (including later that evening, by the by).

A kiss is just a kiss .. it's not a contract.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 21
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Is this girl testing my nerves ?? Please advice !
Posted: 1/14/2019 10:13:03 AM
The biggest problem I see with this is that you're not sure what you did wrong and we're not sure either because we weren't there so there's no way to improve. Also, it may not be your fault and she could have a boyfriend or be into another guy. That's the most frustrating part about dating - not knowing what you did wrong because you get no feedback. It's like a hockey coach saying: "I have no idea why we lost that game but let's just do the exact same thing next time."
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