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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Philospohy about responding to a "Viewed Me".      Home login  
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 ZTony8
Joined: 11/6/2016
Msg: 1
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Philospohy about responding to a "Viewed Me".Page 1 of 1    
I've come to the conclusion that if a woman has viewed my profile and not sent me a message that it would be senseless for me to contact her, even if I thought she seemed very interesting and/or maybe a good match. Agree? Disagree?
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 2
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/24/2018 8:49:08 PM

Posted By: ZTony8 on 12/24/2018 1037 PM
Subject: Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Message: I've come to the conclusion that if a woman has viewed my profile and not sent me a message that it would be senseless for me to contact her, even if I thought she seemed very interesting and/or maybe a good match. Agree? Disagree?


I would message her if you think "she seemed very interesting and/or maybe a good match". Why not? maybe she is just shy.
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 3
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/25/2018 5:51:01 AM
When I get a view, I usually view the person back and read their profile. CBGB is right, they may be shy or waiting for someone to initiate contact.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 4
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/25/2018 8:22:39 AM
Disagree.

Reasons it makes more sense for a man to message a woman who has recently viewed him:
1) There's a chance she chose to view his profile because she liked his main photo.
2) Odds are someone who recently viewed you was actively on the site (as opposed to people who the site says are online but aren't because of the phone app).
3) Women tend not to make first contact, so it's possible she could be interested but would like him to make the first move.

Of course there are many reasons someone who viewed you first won't respond if you message them. One reason is they found something in your profile they view as incompatible. A secondary photo might reveal something they find unattractive (tattoo, motorcycle, etc). The settings might be a turnoff: offspring, religion, etc. The "about me" might be offensive or boring or show low intelligence.

My favorite thread about "viewed me" was many years ago. Some guy asked if the women who viewed him want him. The former poster with Canadian screen names (e.g. MahoganyRush) posted a funny reply: "Yes, they want you!" Mahogany was later revealed to be a con artist, but he seemed well regarded by the forum community at the time he wrote the funny reply, and many people posted favorably in response to him.

Some views are accidental. Touching a phone screen, the viewer might miss and accidentally view an adjacent profile. Many modern websites have an annoying problem in which screen elements shift vertically as they load, so as you try to click something, the screen shift occurs a fraction of a second later and you hit something you don't want (worst if it's an ad). Haven't noticed the desktop version of POF behaving this way, but it could be the cause of an unintended view. Some "matches" on Tinder and similar swipe sites are accidental as the viewer mindlessly swipes yes on a profile they don't actually like.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 5
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/25/2018 10:32:52 AM
if she viewed you, she had interest! how much is debatable. she could be hoping you message her and this was a hint to do so or she looked and didn't like what she read. I would take it as she is interested. now if you messaged her and she viewed without responding, the answer is pretty clear.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 6
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/25/2018 5:10:50 PM
I figure it's worth a msg to her. Whatcha got o loose?
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 7
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/26/2018 10:46:17 AM
When I was actively dating I searched to contact men. If I looked at a profile it meant nothing. If I contacted someone it meant I was interested.
Most men that responded to me because I was in their viewed list were men I had already decided I wasn't a match for one reason or another.
For this reason alone...men thinking I was interested simply because I viewed them... I now search in stealth mode. No one can tell if I viewed their page at all.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 8
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/26/2018 10:52:17 AM

Disagree.

Reasons it makes more sense for a man to message a woman who has recently viewed him:
1) There's a chance she chose to view his profile because she liked his main photo.
2) Odds are someone who recently viewed you was actively on the site (as opposed to people who the site says are online but aren't because of the phone app).
3) Women tend not to make first contact, so it's possible she could be interested but would like him to make the first move.

Of course there are many reasons someone who viewed you first won't respond if you message them. One reason is they found something in your profile they view as incompatible. A secondary photo might reveal something they find unattractive (tattoo, motorcycle, etc). The settings might be a turnoff: offspring, religion, etc. The "about me" might be offensive or boring or show low intelligence.




johnfromzelie said,


if she viewed you, she had interest! how much is debatable. she could be hoping you message her and this was a hint to do so or she looked and didn't like what she read. I would take it as she is interested. now if you messaged her and she viewed without responding, the answer is pretty clear.


- Bingo. While there is no guarantee, if you have a cropped head-shot as you do, chances are she clicked your profile because she liked your picture. They don't click on Ogres.

When I was single a few years ago, there was a dating site where all I would do is contact women who had viewed my profile and I had a terrific response rate and saved a ton of time.



When I was actively dating I searched to contact men. If I looked at a profile it meant nothing. If I contacted someone it meant I was interested.
Most men that responded to me because I was in their viewed list were men I had already decided I wasn't a match for one reason or another.


- I hear you, that is the case sometimes.... but less than 50% of women make first contact.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 9
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/27/2018 1:47:57 PM

but less than 50% of women make first contact.


Much less.

What's up with THAT???
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 10
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/28/2018 4:43:00 AM
Personally, as a woman, I prefer that the man make the first contact.
Most of the time when I view a profile, it is because I liked their main photo.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 11
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/28/2018 11:10:34 AM
" but less than 50% of women make first contact. Much less. What's up with THAT???"

>>>he better you look...the more likely the woman is making an effort to get you to notice her. which results (hopefully) in you realizing you have a chance. even i get women who flirt with me...but as the lament goes, they just aren't what i'm looking for.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 12
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/29/2018 11:58:56 AM
The thumbnails are often tiny and taken from a distance. We can't always glean enough information from the thumbnail alone, and will need to click on the profile to see what the man actually looks like. Upon viewing it, we might not necessarily like what we see.

Contact a woman if you're interested in her, but don't base your decision on a profile view. Some women view ALL the profiles that show up in their searches.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 13
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/30/2018 8:31:00 AM
A lady local to me has "The only man I'm chasing is the Ice cream man" as her headline and I think it speaks volumes.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 14
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/30/2018 11:14:52 AM
I don't think you have anything to lose by reaching out to see if there is interest on her part. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I suspect that those who are here for dating typically, or at least often, look at profiles because a photo interested them.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 15
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/30/2018 3:39:22 PM
She was curious, but it doesn't signify interest, sometimes. However, after reading your profile, she might have genuine interest in you..why not send her a message (nothing too elaborate, but show interest). If she doesn't respond, oh well. If she does, best wishes!
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 16
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 1/3/2019 10:32:40 AM
Dont think too much about it. Sometimes women are shy and hope you will message them after you see they viewed you.

Dont worry about what other people want or think. Message who you want no matter what.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 17
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 1/4/2019 7:28:07 AM
When I was still dating I used to go to another dating website and use their "boost" feature. It cost $1.99 and would show your profile to to woman wh0 where online and tell you who had just seen your profile. I would send a messages right away to the ones I was interested in and I got a lot of dates that way.
 Inner_circle
Joined: 7/11/2015
Msg: 18
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 1/8/2019 11:16:08 AM
The only way too know if someone is interested in your profile, is to send them a message.

People use the 'Viewed me' tool all kinds of ways, you are never going to know who uses them the same way you do. Just send a message.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 19
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 1/9/2019 4:19:20 PM

I've come to the conclusion that if a woman has viewed my profile and not sent me a message that it would be senseless for me to contact her, even if I thought she seemed very interesting and/or maybe a good match. Agree? Disagree?

Disagree.

Just because she viewed you, does Not mean she In Fact Had Interest. That's a myth.

But, she could. A higher % than searching ones who haven't even viewed you. Some who haven't viewed you can/will have interest. Some who haven't viewed won't/don't have interest (saw your thumbnail & headline already; no thanks).

Gals don't initiate writings online. So you can't tell if she liked you or not. But best use of time to write a gal who viewed you. But don't rely on it. Don't let fear & shyness get in your way. Also write gals in search listings, too.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 20
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 1/10/2019 1:49:17 PM
[even if I thought she seemed very interesting and/or maybe a good match]
She either thought she was out of your league or you were beneath hers. All you can do is try.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 21
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 1/10/2019 1:52:30 PM
I view, and if their specifics do not match my profile 'must haves', then I move on. Otherwise I may send them a message.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 22
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Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 1/10/2019 1:53:54 PM
She had an interest in the photo and very brief description. She still has to consider you possibly compatible according to your individual profiles.
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