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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?      Home login  
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 neutrino
Joined: 12/25/2018
Msg: 1
Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
A guy, who is 34 has BSc. Material Physics, works in an oil industry, never had a girlfriend/date before, and don't do any drugs/smoking or alcohol. That guy is extremely shy. Would ladies consider that guy?
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 2
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/29/2018 5:56:47 AM
In a word, no.

Most seem to thrive on seeing people they know, or have met in their travels. That short, useless conversation of small talk seems to empower them. Some get drunk on the power they wield. I've never been a chatty person. I've stood there listening to those mind-numbing conversations, and wondered what they got out of it. Really nothing of value, except that they got validated for being in a certain place at the right time.

To me, it gets old, fast.

Whoopie, I saw Manny, Moe And Jack while I was out. We said nothing useful to each other, aside from hi, and that was it. Women don't think that way. Many will start to look down on those who don't know everybody and their old auntie. You don't get a pass on that.

You can be the most successful person in the room. Be self made, and owe no one anything. Buy the world and hold it in the palm of your hand. But if no one knows it, and you don't flaunt it, you're as good as dead in their eyes.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 3
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/29/2018 6:23:26 AM
LOL, The OP is already gone? Purplerider ……………...did ya kick the guy in the shin under the table?
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 4
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/29/2018 10:04:51 PM
The OP seems to have left??
If a guy is shy, its not a deal breaker... however extreme shyness could be.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 5
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/29/2018 10:34:31 PM
Way too much work.

Not into high maintenance.

Not my job to fix him.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 6
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/30/2018 7:30:59 AM
I must have.

Maybe he didn't want to read the truth. I pull no punches. Ask a direct question, get a direct answer.

It ain't rocket science.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 7
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/30/2018 11:22:06 AM

Way too much work.

Not into high maintenance.

Not my job to fix him.


Lol, this literally made me chuckle out loud. I'd give a chance to an "extremely shy guy" once I got to know him and he became more comfortable and talkative with me. At that point, he'd be more than just some super shy guy. but if you're very shy and trying to date online strangers who'll curb you for something as trivial as wearing shoes that don't match your outfit...um, good luck.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 8
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/30/2018 12:06:50 PM

Lol, this literally made me chuckle out loud. I'd give a chance to an "extremely shy guy" once I got to know him and he became more comfortable and talkative with me. At that point, he'd be more than just some super shy guy. but if you're very shy and trying to date online strangers who'll curb you for something as trivial as wearing shoes that don't match your outfit...um, good luck.

A shy person is also highly unlikely to have "instant chemistry" on a first date / meeting. Which is a requirement for many people that use OLD.


Not into high maintenance.

I don't think shy people usually come across as being high maintenance. LOL.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 9
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/31/2018 6:16:26 AM
Shyness would be a serious problem. Dating is about being sociable, mingling, and meeting people. Get a part-time sales job.......you'll be forced to learn to be sociable.
 ginghamgal
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 10
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/31/2018 8:55:08 AM
Yes because he could be shy until he gets to know someone better. Which is not unusual. But that would require patience. Many people don't have that in a world of instant gratification.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 11
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/31/2018 9:47:48 AM
"I don't think shy people usually come across as being high maintenance. LOL."

Seriously?

Shy people put non shy people in the position of having to work hard to draw the shy person out.
If having to work at a conversation isn't the definition of high maintenance, I would like to know what is.

It can also be a form of control.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 12
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/31/2018 11:20:56 AM

Seriously?

Shy people put non shy people in the position of having to work hard to draw the shy person out.
If having to work at a conversation isn't the definition of high maintenance, I would like to know what is.

It can also be a form of control.


Yes I'm serious. My definition of high maintenance is people that spend an excessive amount of time or money on their appearance, constantly need to be the center of attention, are very demanding and hard to please, unwilling to compromise and get upset when things don't go 100% their way etc. In my experience, these types of traits don't necessarily apply to shy people.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 13
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/31/2018 1:24:41 PM
Shy people equals "constantly need to be the center of attention, are very demanding and hard to please, unwilling to compromise and unwilling to compromise plus constantly expect others to draw them out of their self imposed silence.

"constantly need to be the center of attention" poor me, I am shy. You need to do all the work on phone conversation, first meets, coffee dates. Don't expect them to talk".

"unwilling to compromise" and meet you half. Expect you to take all the risk of reject while they sit there all shy.

"unwilling to compromise " Won't try themselves but expect other to try to work around a problem that isn't even their own.

More than 2 posts blah blah blah..........................
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 14
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/31/2018 3:22:46 PM

Shy people equals "constantly need to be the center of attention, are very demanding and hard to please, unwilling to compromise and unwilling to compromise plus constantly expect others to draw them out of their self imposed silence


Not really. Most would just like to express an opinion, and be recognised.


"constantly need to be the center of attention" poor me, I am shy. You need to do all the work on phone conversation, first meets, coffee dates. Don't expect them to talk"


Most shy people will wait to render a comment, if it's something they know. They won't push their way into a conversation, like most who insist on making themselves heard. We call it being polite.


"unwilling to compromise" and meet you half. Expect you to take all the risk of reject while they sit there all shy.


Have you ever cut somebody out of a conversation? I have. Most shy people won't force their views on you if you have done that.


"unwilling to compromise " Won't try themselves but expect other to try to work around a problem that isn't even their own.


That's right, it isn't their problem. Why clutter up the problem you're dealing with, with points that have no bearing on your situation? Some of us do know to keep our big bazoos shut when necessary.

This information is brought to you by a fellow shy person that has dealt with people like you.
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 15
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 12/31/2018 6:12:03 PM
… . Shy? I've been shy more than a few brain cells for most of my life. Has'nt affected me one bit OP,

Don't worry about it. Try to get out there with your bad self. You are the only you,... And only you can express that.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 16
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 1/1/2019 8:18:00 AM
"This information is brought to you by a fellow shy person that has dealt with people like you."

Nah! I don't deal with shy people. People don't want to have a two way conversation, I stay away.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 17
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 1/1/2019 8:18:48 AM

Shy people equals "constantly need to be the center of attention, are very demanding and hard to please, unwilling to compromise and unwilling to compromise plus constantly expect others to draw them out of their self imposed silence...."constantly need to be the center of attention" poor me, I am shy. You need to do all the work on phone conversation, first meets, coffee dates. Don't expect them to talk"...."unwilling to compromise" and meet you half. Expect you to take all the risk of reject while they sit there all shy...."unwilling to compromise " Won't try themselves but expect other to try to work around a problem that isn't even their own.


I still think shy and high maintenance are 2 different types of personalities. Shy and high maintenance people can react very differently in a given situation. High maintenance people can be loud and obnoxious with their constant "I must have this" and "I hate that" comments. Shy people are less likely to argue over trivial things or speak out of turn. High maintenance people will seek out extra attention at social settings while shy people may avoid extra attention and stay in the background.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 18
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 1/1/2019 8:37:23 AM


constantly need to be the center of attention, are very demanding and hard to please, unwilling to compromise and get upset when things don't go 100% their way etc. In my experience, these types of traits don't necessarily apply to shy people.


- yes, this is high maintanace.


My definition of high maintenance is people that spend an excessive amount of time or money on their appearance,


- however, this is not high maintenance. This is a common misconception. Particularly when talking about a woman. A woman enhancing and/or keeping up her looks benefits the man too - men appreciate an attractive partner.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 19
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 1/1/2019 9:40:03 PM

A woman enhancing and/or keeping up her looks benefits the man too - men appreciate an attractive partner.


Yes to some extent. But I don't need a woman that takes forever to get ready because she spends a lot of time figuring which one of her 10 pairs of brown shoes or 10 pairs of black pants she should wear.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 20
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 1/1/2019 9:53:21 PM

This is a common misconception. Particularly when talking about a woman. A woman enhancing and/or keeping up her looks benefits the man too - men appreciate an attractive partner.


Yes, thank you for being honest. I just have to scoff and roll my eyes when I hear men say stuff along the lines of, "I like when a woman looks beautiful right out of the shower", "....first thing in the morning." I've only known one...MAYBE two women in my lifetime who truly looked flawless when they woke up, naturally clear and even-toned skin, only needed to run a brush through her hair and it still looked great. Chances are, even the "natural beauties" did not wake up looking like that. The vast majority of us look better when we've put some effort into our appearance, as long as it's not obsessive or too time-consuming, which can fall under the umbrella of "high-maintenance".
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 21
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 1/2/2019 4:03:04 PM

Nah! I don't deal with shy people. People don't want to have a two way conversation, I stay away.


Point proven.
I just knew someone would come along, and verify that. The OP had to know, which is why I tossed that response at him, trying to save him from a lot of grief.

*censored*
 afinewineandyou
Joined: 12/1/2017
Msg: 22
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 1/2/2019 4:33:47 PM

A guy, who is 34 has BSc. Material Physics, works in an oil industry, never had a girlfriend/date before, and don't do any drugs/smoking or alcohol. That guy is extremely shy. Would ladies consider that guy?


OP... That depends on the lady.

Lets see... No exes, no kids, doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs and is employed?

All pluses to me! I happen to like "shy guys" so yes indeed not only will some of us consider it- we will look forward to meeting you! :)
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 23
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 1/2/2019 5:55:18 PM
Siisaa, your mention of natural beauties reminded me of a lesson I learned a few years back. A friend who gets professional photo sessions done each year and always posts her photos had a year where she posted herself in a session that appeared to be half in make-up and half make-up free. Many of us commented how incredible she looked without make-up to which she replied that she was wearing a ton of make-up in the so-called natural looking photos and actually a lot more than the photos of her wearing red lipstick and a blush with colour. It taught me that a lot of illusion can be created by those with skill and willing to take the time.
 neutrino
Joined: 12/30/2018
Msg: 24
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 1/3/2019 2:21:59 PM
OMG! Thank you so much for that. :) Truly, you are the reason I remade my account and wanted to thank you. I have also watched a number of videos on YT, where 90 - 95 % of the girls say that they have no interest in shy men. In reality, shy men are shy until they are not familiar to you. Once they know you, they are open and fun. :)

I am extremely shy. This is why I am still single, and I just want to get married, rather than sleeping before marriage. My philosophy is people eventually know each other with time. You don't have to date someone for 3 - 4 years before getting married.

If I go on a date someday, I would keep it short and simple. I wanna your political views, your interest in arts and philosophy, and how you view the family structure. Being a Physicist, I like spirituality too. Everything in this universe emits Energy.
I can listen to you whole day, if you have some cool stories to share - no backbiting , I dislike it. I wanna do camping, hiking, we can cook food together. Are all these things boring???

Moreover, shy guys are ready to sacrifice. It's not something like we don't talk much, but if we do, we ask too much ... No!
I am not looking for someone to fix me, show me colors. I am fine in my own skin. I am in my 30s, and it's not like I date you and be like: wow! I could someone better if I talk more. Maybe, if I were in my 20s, then yea, it might have striked my mind once. I am in my 30s. i am mature. I am shy, I spectate, and I listen.
Sorry, if I said something bad. I just wanted to clarify what shy guys think. Thank you!
 neutrino
Joined: 12/30/2018
Msg: 25
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Would ladies give a chance to an extremely shy guy?
Posted: 1/3/2019 2:35:20 PM

OP... That depends on the lady.

Lets see... No exes, no kids, doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs and is employed?

All pluses to me! I happen to like "shy guys" so yes indeed not only will some of us consider it- we will look forward to meeting you! :)

The opening of above response is referring to you.
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