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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Swap numbers, then next day get a brush-off      Home login  
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 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 1
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Swap numbers, then next day get a brush-offPage 1 of 1    
Hmmm Dunno who's had this, but I've been having a great conversation with a lovely woman and we swapped phone numbers yesterday. Today I get a message saying that she is now seeing someone else who 'she wants to get serious with'. I'm going to lump it into the 'friendzoned' category but who really knows.

The conversations had been very extensive up to the point of swapping numbers. I see no point phoning her to try and have a real conversation.

A bit dis-illusioned (more that before) with the whole dating thing now.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 2
Swap numbers, then next day get a brush-off
Posted: 1/14/2019 12:36:22 AM

I'm going to lump it into the 'friendzoned' category but who really knows.


Not really. Neither you nor her are going to be "friends".....she's blowing you off. Don't get too emotionally wrapped up in strangers and nothing is real until after you actually meet.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 3
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Swap numbers, then next day get a brush-off
Posted: 1/14/2019 8:35:58 AM
she was having 'extensive conversations' with several until she picked one. you might get a call in a week when he isn't all that she expected. OLD full of those who juggle many while deciding which one to pick. they usually end up right back here rather quickly.
 jerseynative7
Joined: 10/26/2018
Msg: 4
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Swap numbers, then next day get a brush-off
Posted: 1/14/2019 9:59:02 AM
Its doubtful she is friendzoning you. She met someone else she wants to pursue. She prolly doesnt want you calling her at all.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 5
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Swap numbers, then next day get a brush-off
Posted: 1/14/2019 12:20:28 PM

Today I get a message saying that she is now seeing someone else who 'she wants to get serious with'. I'm going to lump it into the 'friendzoned' category but who really knows.

You weren't friend-zoned. Friend-zoned is someone you know IRL who you're around/mingle-with/etc., and you miss your opportunity to garner her interest and she emotionally has no attraction to you but Is Open to hanging out with you (group-wise or 1-on-1).

She's not interested in meeting IRL & creating an actual friendship with you, by what transpired at that point. She's blowing you off, while she aims to get it on with another guy. There's a decent chance her explanation was exaggerated.

You could have caught her at the right time, had some convo over the weekend, but the "real world" starts on Monday, and she thinks twice about you and wasn't that into you anyway -- while there are other guys to Actually pursue. What she said Could very well be true though. Just remember, you don't know and can't know anyway, so not worth fretting about it. The "I'm seeing someone now," out of the blue is a classic line, usually with some truth, usually Not fully true, to make it "easier" to put you aside when they lack interest in you.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 6
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Swap numbers, then next day get a brush-off
Posted: 1/14/2019 4:59:05 PM
It's a part of OLD. Some women have given their number (without me asking for it) and never returned my calls or texts. People can change their mind and lose interest at any time for any reason. It's also possible that they had lukewarm interest at best and were looking for a text / email buddy for a short period to pass time when they are bored.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 7
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Swap numbers, then next day get a brush-off
Posted: 1/15/2019 11:26:14 AM

A bit dis-illusioned (more that before) with the whole dating thing now.


Disappointment will be your closest friend.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 8
Swap numbers, then next day get a brush-off
Posted: 1/16/2019 7:44:07 AM

she is now seeing someone else who 'she wants to get serious with'.


- that's a classic rejection, one of the most popular of all time.

Whether it's true or not, it does not matter; it means she's no longer into you.
 pfif
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 9
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Swap numbers, then next day get a brush-off
Posted: 1/16/2019 2:21:44 PM
With online dating, anyone who is maintaining multiple
contacts has an opportunity to choose between them, or
to attempt to juggle more than one of them.

You're not being juggled in, with some other suitor.

But you were, weren't you .. or the other person met (and
committed to) another, in a very tiny time span.

(or something else entirely; no way to know, and that's
just how it is)
 festus1234567
Joined: 9/24/2011
Msg: 10
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Swap numbers, then next day get a brush-off
Posted: 1/20/2019 7:05:19 AM
She, like many others are playing the multiple options game. Have had it happen many times. I have even had them write back weeks later and want to talk again. I ask them if it didn't work out with the other why would you think I would be interested in a cheater? If I am talking with someone I tell the new person I am doing so. So at least they know that is the situation.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 11
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Swap numbers, then next day get a brush-off
Posted: 1/21/2019 2:50:04 AM
Doubt its another guy that fast.

She was comfortable the way things were with you imo.
When you exchanged numbers it got to close for her comfort level for some reason.

Maybe she is new to this or had a bad experience. Either way move on and exchange numbers sooner to flush out people who aren't ready or may be juggling.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 12
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Swap numbers, then next day get a brush-off
Posted: 1/21/2019 3:28:33 AM
OP aka Mr Bad Luck...
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