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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Where Have All The Good Women Gone?      Home login  
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 Ghostcast
Joined: 6/20/2016
Msg: 1
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I know, a provocative title right?
However please bare with me and hear me out; I've been floating around this site a very long time now, not entirely by desire, I've changed my profile over and over again into many different formats. I've had short profiles, long profiles, Honest profiles, silly profiles, and a profile urging conversation rather than judging by a profile.....frankly now my profile is literally just graffiti because I was bored and really have lost faith in this website at all.

So the question has become; is it the sites fault? No; this site actually is one of the only ones that actually allows people to talk openly without paywalls, thats fantastic.

Is it me? Being I tend to lean towards self-loathing in the first place, for a long time I believed it was. (Yes I know this is a personal flaw, I have many, but I own them and do not lie or obfuscate.) But No, It wasn't me, looking back over what had preceded nothing I said was condemning.

Over the years, yes years, of being on POF I have been contacted, very rarely, and try to open a dialogue to get to know the other person. However It has always ended with either them "just wanting to be friends" ....on a dating site, honestly? or They 'Ghosting' on me entirely. Again, at first I thought it was me, however that line of thinking didn't entirely track; when two of the young ladies (years apart) in their own respective events were even planing on meeting me in person, and then suddenly changed without warning. Later I learned that they had been leading me on and simply met someone more interesting and wanted to 'put me on the shelf' you know....just in case!

Over time things got worse and worse, women on the site start to only 'reply' never tried to approach or reach out at all. Those whom did 'reply' tended to only say 2 to 3 things before 'ghosting' not even allowing for dialogue.

Meanwhile; the dating profiles I see amongst women are very telling, most come across as a list of 'demands' or 'requirements' that if a man where to put on his profile would spark an outrage and get him banned.

As for the Women themselves? Well it seems, at least to me they quality of woman on the site seems to be in sharp decline, and I mean no offence by this. The ones I see now have a tendency of drug or drinking problems, are more focus money or resources then they should be. are hypercharged with their religion to the point its scary, or frankly dont seem to even like men....much less want one.

Then put into the mix the overwhelming 'Bots' and 'Scammers', the 'couples looking for more' the cheating married people, transgender people (nothing wrong with transgender people, just not what I look for personally) and then there are those whom I personally am not attracted to (not a comment on them personally at all)

Over the year I find I have been forced to cast the 'net' wider and wider with less and less results.
Originally I was looking for a partner 5 years above or below my own age, then 7, then 10, now its gone so far im legitimately considering the range from 18 to 47, young enough to be my own daughter...of which any of you whom have tried to romance someone of whom is that much younger than yourself knows it is like dating an Alien.

I head women online ask all the time "Where Have All the Good Men Gone?" they repeat it en mass, but I press to you the question "Where Have All The Good Women Gone?"

My last relationship was 10 years ago now, and it lasted for 7 years. I was with a violent woman of whom beat and abused me daily, she once broke my ribs with a tack hammer and laughed. I wasnt able to say anything, I was a guy, who would believe or even care? I was twice her size. But not once did I ever consider leaving her, or cheat on her, the thought never even crossed my mind.

And even after all of that I have endured I still 'try' to reach out, not wanted to give up hope on the idea of love.

"Where Have All The Good Men Gone?" ....doesnt unwavering loyalty qualify someone as a good man? the courage to not give up on the hope of love?
....I suppose not. I'll likely being dying alone and unremarked.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 2
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/24/2019 9:30:55 AM
"Where Have All The Good Women Gone?"

Crazy...
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 3
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/24/2019 4:21:45 PM
That was a really long read. You have had an awful dating life. Hopefully it will improve. Maybe try for a different look, not that you shouldnt be you, but man thats a lotta hair.
 Ghostcast
Joined: 6/20/2016
Msg: 4
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/24/2019 6:22:07 PM
Thank you, it's been a rough time yes, I sincerely doubt it will improve sadly.

As for my hair...well, I come from the 80's in all fairness, and personally I am too old to jump through hoops large or small to change myself to make someone I don't know 'possibly' just open up a dialogue, if they can't accept me for me? I'm not interested in that in the first place. That would be like is a man went on a short haired woman's profile and told them "You're hairs too short, you need to grow it out" and this does happen as well, doesn't mean that the women should change herself for a stranger.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 5
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/24/2019 8:18:59 PM
keep your hair! I would much rather be myself happy and single than to be someone I am not.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 6
Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/25/2019 8:39:44 AM
I think he has a little more hair than I do
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 7
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/25/2019 1:20:22 PM

That was a really long read. You have had an awful dating life. Hopefully it will improve. Maybe try for a different look, not that you shouldnt be you, but man thats a lotta hair.


Not really. A lotta guys have had similar experiences with women. How do you think MGTOW got started? I've had many more pleasant experiences aboard bikes, than I've had with women. Why bother with someone that might show some promise, only to see it fall apart later. I'll stick to what I know.
 Ghostcast
Joined: 6/20/2016
Msg: 8
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/25/2019 4:20:04 PM
This is very true, and while I know about, and respect men that go MGTOW, I personally don't embrace that lifestyle. Though I completely understand it's appeal quite vividly it's get not for me. I still hope against all odds that I might mean someone special, even though I am aware of how unlikely that is.

For those whom don't know; MGTOW stands for; Men Going Their Own Way: they are men of whom in the main have adopted a monk like lifestyle where most of them swear off all women and relationships and instead they choose to work only on themselves. They see it as removing women's control over their lives by removing the possibility of female companionship from the equation completely.

While I agree with many of their philosophies personally, I just don't think their way is the answer, rather it's a reaction.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 9
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/26/2019 7:54:33 AM
^^^^ It's an option. A place to vent. That's all.

I'd bet that you've been accused of playing around, (more than once) with the woman that you may be in a relationship with. I have. For me, it's been very irritating. I haven't dated that many to begin with. It may have taken me a couple years to find one to date. Why thehell did you accuse me of that? Do I soundpissed because you did? I am. It was hard enough finding one to date to begin with. Women may be everywhere, it doesn't mean that they all want to date me.

Congratulations. You managed to kill most of the trust I had in you. If you don't trust me, Bye. Go burden your insecurities on some other guy that will put up with it. I hate defending myself for something I never did, or never thought about.
 Ghostcast
Joined: 6/20/2016
Msg: 10
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/26/2019 8:05:50 AM
Hmm...actually no, I've never been accused of playing around, even the thought of it was foreign to me and I suppose I was pretty obvious about it because no one ever even brought it up.

I am sorry you've been through that, I can imagine how unfair and unkind that must be, to be accused of disloyalty or of breaking a trust when you have done nothing wrong :(
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 11
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/26/2019 8:43:18 AM
the distrust usually signals the end rapidly approaching. not just cheating but being accused of anything or arguing I didn't do something that I know I did. granted, there are many people out there that lie about anything but most that know me know my character and wouldn't question it. a long term partner would either be creating drama just to argue or never really knew me at all.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 12
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/26/2019 10:03:42 AM

They see it as removing women's control over their lives by removing the possibility of female companionship from the equation completely.


Abdicating control over your own life is probably not a good idea.
If a person (male or female) doesn't maintain control over themselves and their lives, then perhaps they should move into a solitary existence.

However, the only mention I've heard from men who are MGTOW is when they come on this site and complain about women - how horrible and golddiggering and ruinous to good living. Not exactly GTOW in my view. Reminds me of this Buddhist story:

Two monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.

The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.

Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey.

The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them. Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”


For the record, I've had more pleasant experiences with books that I have had with men.
It doesn't mean that I've given up on men. totally in favor of books.
 gavs321
Joined: 1/15/2019
Msg: 13
Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/26/2019 12:14:07 PM
My grandfather grew up in Soviet Union, in the Ukraine.

If you wanted a wife, all you had to do was socialize and be somewhat integrated into society.

American women and "western women" (anything east of former Soviet countries) are stereotyped as very difficult.

If it makes you feel any better, many men around my age that I know are actively using anabolics and even growth hormone to become "aesthetic" to attract women.

-

*physical part*

when I shave, I do not attract women. When I run 10 days worth of facial hair, I do good.
With short hair, I do not attract women. With medium length hair, I do good.
When I started getting my eye brows threaded = made a huge difference with how women respond

If it was up to me, I would like to buzz my hair and shave... keep it simple.

But trying to show that if you experiment with appearance, you may get surprising results
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 14
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/26/2019 3:17:22 PM

*physical part*

when I shave, I do not attract women. When I run 10 days worth of facial hair, I do good.
With short hair, I do not attract women. With medium length hair, I do good.
When I started getting my eye brows threaded = made a huge difference with how women respond

If it was up to me, I would like to buzz my hair and shave... keep it simple.

But trying to show that if you experiment with appearance, you may get surprising results
I didn't shave or even comb my hair for profile pic. while I probably should put just a little more effort into it, I refuse to become or pretend to be anyone I am not.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 15
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/26/2019 3:50:49 PM
Ghostcast, as a woman with a heck of a lot of hair, I vote for keeping the hair. There have been plenty of comments ab0ut my hair over the years. I shrug them off. It's what I am comfortable with and frankly beats what I see for hair on several women my age. So if your hair is what you are comfortable with, keep it. Just my two cents.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 16
Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/27/2019 10:04:30 AM

When I started getting my eye brows threaded = made a huge difference with how women respond


- really? I thought thicker eyebrows on men were supposed to be more attractive?


Also, being different can give you extra points - for example, long hair can sometimes help.
 Ghostcast
Joined: 6/20/2016
Msg: 17
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/27/2019 6:47:43 PM
"Abdicating control over your own life is probably not a good idea.
If a person (male or female) doesn't maintain control over themselves and their lives, then perhaps they should move into a solitary existence."

hmm.....I think you might be misunderstanding. they aren't abdicating control at all, they are simply choosing to focus on improving themselves rather than fall in line with the tradition rolls of the man needing to find a wife and build a family. They are not anti-woman, they are just not pro-women either, mainly they just want to be left alone.

I respect their decision, I don't follow their philosophy, But I understand it.
 gavs321
Joined: 1/15/2019
Msg: 18
Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/27/2019 7:12:49 PM
Yes, the eyebrow threading very metrosexual but when it resulted me attracting
a woman from Belarus and another from Finland... Really attractive women.

I was like "wow, going to keep doing this"
 Ghostcast
Joined: 6/20/2016
Msg: 19
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/28/2019 6:12:19 AM
So for the first time in a long long time I was messaged on POF by an actual human being, she was a 24 year old, I am 36.
The Age gap was overwhelmingly bad, after trying for two days to simply open up a dialogue, it became clear it was not going to work at all right from the start.

She was hyper-focused on physical intimacy, to the point she wrote four or so paragraphs on the matter, declared that 'texting' was the same as 'talking' when I suggested we try to do so to break the language barrier (her text speak was done in hipster 'meme' ) and she was in blank shock that I do not, and never will, own a cell phone.

She and I had literally nothing in common, and were only just able to communicate.

I thought it was best that she and I just move on, to which she then flipped out and railed at me for quite some time, I don't think a guy has ever told her 'no' before perhaps.

So Once Again I Find Myself Asking This Question Onto The Wind.......Where Have All The Good Women Gone? :(
 gavs321
Joined: 1/15/2019
Msg: 20
Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/28/2019 11:07:24 AM
upload the conversation or it didn't happen.
 Ghostcast
Joined: 6/20/2016
Msg: 21
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Posted: 1/28/2019 1:48:39 PM

upload the conversation or it didn't happen


wow...

firstly: grow up.
secondly: you do know that posting private exchanges in the forums is a violation of the terms of services and can get a person banned right?

I was just sharing a personal experience to underline what guys are having to contend with, if you don't like it, don't read the thread, but please don't troll.
 gavs321
Joined: 1/15/2019
Msg: 22
Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/28/2019 2:43:40 PM
No woman is asking you about sex bro.

Cut the hair and stop crying or be forever alone.

Or be another Elliot Rodgers, "those girllssssss"
 Ghostcast
Joined: 6/20/2016
Msg: 23
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Posted: 1/28/2019 3:17:49 PM

No woman is asking you about sex bro..


Maybe they don't ask you? I've run into more than one in the past whom are sex obsessed, to a young man that might sound appealing but it was literally 'ALL' they talked about and it was depressing when your trying to get to know someone as a person.



Cut the hair and stop crying or be forever alone.


ah and more Trolling



Or be another Elliot Rodgers, "those girllssssss"


No idea who that is.

Again, if your just gonna be an ass please feel free to NOT post on the thread.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 24
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/29/2019 10:47:48 AM
Whether we like it or not, being just ourselves with no plans to change
does not widen our appeal. I'm all for looking the way you want, doing
what you want, wearing your hair like you want, women wearing make
up or not, but you've got to know you're not going to appeal to everyone.
No one appeals to everyone...except me of course...hahahaha!

I have long hair, but I dislike long hair on men...wrong I know...but there
you have it. The fact that I'm old and have long hair and tattoos doesn't
always do me favors, but I'm not about to give that up either. I'm also not losing
any more weight, I'm not giving up anything I like, and I'm always going to
come and go as I please. I wear what I want, sometimes whether other people
think it looks good or not, and I'm generally outspoken.

So, all that together keeps my prospects limited.
I could learn how to use make up, I could lose more weight, I could change up
my style, I could appear more genteel and I could be more soft spoken, and I would
probably attract a different range of men.

Do what you want...and accept the consequences.
Or make some changes and see what happens.

If you're having no luck at all, maybe you have to look at what you're doing and
stop assuming it's because there aren't any good women about.

PS...not sure what's going on, but your pictures look totally different in that you don't
look like the same person. Your profile picture is attractive, but some of your other pics
are down right creepy looking (IMHO). I'd just up my pictures a little and show yourself
looking your best...unless that's too much changing and not part of your plan.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 25
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Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 1/29/2019 11:43:44 AM

I have had more pleasant experiences with books then men


^^^ Books are a cats meow & a dogs wet kiss. You can learn things from books, without all the other man baggage involved ( col ) ... Sooo, where have all the good men gone ???
... " Gone to graveyards every one, when will we ever learn, when will we ever learn ?? "

... heart / sun ... ( hugs / wet kiss > 2ufo )
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