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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Almost 40. No Relationships: Is it normal?      Home login  
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 FeralCat38
Joined: 11/24/2018
Msg: 1
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Almost 40. No Relationships: Is it normal?Page 1 of 1    
Hi,

Just a question. Many women I try to date they get surprised when I tell them I never had a relationship or married. They just back away and give one excuse or another of why they would not want to take things further.

Or, is it normal to live a life with no intimate relationship at all?

I need some time of assurance about my life. Sometimes I wonder is it even worth dating now or trying to get someone to marry?
 platitude545
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 2
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Almost 40. No Relationships: Is it normal?
Posted: 1/30/2019 12:51:48 PM
This question should be in the relationships forums...but in answer to your question...admitting to no intimate relations by 40 is telling the world that you have difficulty having relationships, which is not something women want to hear, even if there are legitimate reasons, like never meeting the right woman.

My suggestion....never ...ever admit that. Just pass off your former relationships as something that did not work out...if you do actually get intimate...then you can be more honest. Don't close out your chances before you get to first base.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 3
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Almost 40. No Relationships: Is it normal?
Posted: 1/30/2019 1:28:20 PM
It's okay to tell them you've never been married (which if you meet them from most dating sites, they'll already know) but there is absolutely no reason for anyone to bring up their relationship history during a date or while attempting to get someone to go on a date, unless you were originally "just friends" and evolved into dating interests... which is a very tricky thing to handle.

Admittedly, this is the one site I'm aware of that works against you in that philosophy, because there is actually a stupid question about your relationship history directly on your profile, and I do wonder if honestly answering that question has hurt my chances on this site, as it's most definitely true that women our age do not look favorably upon men with no relationship history. Since I hit my mid-30s, I've rarely ever come across a woman's profile with less than 5 years of relationship history and most have 10+ now (and have usually checked off "divorced"). But if you don't want to be a liar, nothing you can do about that -- it's the site's stupid rules. That's why you might be better off using almost any other site to date with.
 LGL1975
Joined: 6/7/2015
Msg: 4
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Almost 40. No Relationships: Is it normal?
Posted: 1/30/2019 2:32:43 PM

Or, is it normal to live a life with no intimate relationship at all?



Just tell them you were married that's the same thing as not having sex.
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 5
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Almost 40. No Relationships: Is it normal?
Posted: 1/30/2019 4:04:21 PM
OP..... You're a feral cat on the prowl.... You're almost 40 years old and lacking experience.


I say, get yourself out there and just look and see what fun things there are to do in your area. Find something you like doing that also gets you out and about .... Then do it.

The rest will follow when you follow your heart.
 justinelle
Joined: 8/28/2017
Msg: 6
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Almost 40. No Relationships: Is it normal?
Posted: 2/1/2019 2:18:51 AM
There is nothing wrong at all with any choice as long as you feel it was your free choice.

Sex is not rocket science, and the chorus of “LADS” who have proved they are failures in this department, through being on this site looking for a relationship, should make you laugh at the hypocrisy of their positions The blind trying to lead possibly a partially sighted person, should at worst be pitied.

These days life offers opportunities, and if one is passionate, time flies, as decades go by, following a personal adventure to see what turns out.

Relationships fail or last due to very simple principles and simple practices, it really is all about the amount and quality of affection given or shown to a partner. Or these days as the failures demonstrate the lack of one or either.

To the moronic preachers of advice who's brains at one time left their cranium and descended into their scrotum, affection is often seen or understood as just sex, worse they think its about self gratification, and that is how these simple psychological retarded but well meaning adults see their relationship situations. Many men's subliminal goal is to find the perfect mother substitute, who will do all of the things, they expect a mother to do, plus of course supply sex.

You might have stood on your own two feet for decades, and needing a mother substitute was unnecessary, and seeking a partner now that you have experienced life, could be seen as perfectly normal. In some traditional tribal groups a man would not be considered a man to have a wife till at least 35 at the earliest, So its unusual in western culture but then divorce, child molestations, rape, domestic violence and other deviant traits are highly prevalent, whereas absent in less technologically advances tribal cultures. So one could argue from the available evidence your qualifications for a successful relationship exceed the so called voices of the experienced failures.
 FeralCat38
Joined: 11/24/2018
Msg: 7
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Almost 40. No Relationships: Is it normal?
Posted: 2/1/2019 7:58:12 AM
I always thought waiting and holding out for the right person would go in my favor. However, people make judgments about me. They think either I am lying or I am not revealing some physical disability that I may have.

I am not looking for a mother substitute. I never did. Just a little bit of mutual love, respect, and appreciation. I always thought sex as the last piece of the puzzle in relationships, but not the whole.

These days all conversations lead to sex and the preferences in bed.

It is so confusing now.

Perhaps, I should embark on the journey of my own personal self discovery and close all the doors to wanting to have a proper relationship.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 8
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Almost 40. No Relationships: Is it normal?
Posted: 2/1/2019 1:17:27 PM

However, people make judgments about me. They think either I am lying or I am not revealing some physical disability that I may have.


That's not unique to you.
Most people make judgments about everybody.
Which would be fine if they were good at making judgments.
But....they're not.

Hence the abundance of dating and relationship horror stories.


It is so confusing now.


Indeed it is.
I get neck strain from shaking my head so much.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 9
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Almost 40. No Relationships: Is it normal?
Posted: 2/1/2019 1:19:24 PM
Enbark on your journey...
... but don’t close the doors.

You never know who you will find during your journies.
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