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 Poet_in_Motion
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 1
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To photo or not to photo... Page 1 of 1    
First of all I'm not here for a 'profile review'. I KNOW my profile is not everyone's cup of tea and that is kind of the point. Generally I connect 100 times better with people who read and understand the vibe of my words...and my sense of humour. I am not interesting in having a lot of messages and while I have contacted some guys (I'm an introvert so yeah.. I'm not one to put myself out there. But at least I'm not a guy right?! *nervous laugher* *backs away slowly* Don't hurt me!) my not having a photo makes things really slow on here. I mean like one message every 3-4 months. I haven't been that active on this site (I'm not on any other sites) or with dating in general for some time but now I'm feeling like maybe putting my toe in the water and meeting people (as long as it's not too exhausting. I've never been a 'dater'. Don't have the energy). I don't know how to do it in person so here I am I guess. Anyway I have some anxiety about putting up a photo because the mere idea of someone recognizing me IRL just makes my stomach churn. I don't know why. It just does. I also didn't like the responses I got the last time I had photos. I mean it was funny to troll people and be like "So did you see on my profile that I like scuba diving?" "Oh yeah totally. That's so cool!" '**** please.... I've never been".

But anyhow…. Should I just bite the bullet?
 Poet_in_Motion
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 2
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 1:56:40 AM
*interested. Not interesting. Please excuse my lack of proof reading!
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 3
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 5:37:23 AM
I understand what you're saying but... These sights are mainly based on browsing through photos. They don't show your written profile with a photo at the end. I know alot of women see my photo and move on, but the messages I receive always mention they liked my written profile. It's just the way these sites work. Not posting a photo just makes people think you are hiding something. And yes, everything you put on here is public.
 Poet_in_Motion
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 4
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 1:41:13 PM
I know that's the 'assumption'. Not true in my case however. I just don't feel comfortable being recognized by random people that I might encounter out in public.
 Poet_in_Motion
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 5
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 2:28:30 PM
I also have some friends on here and I don't need the embarrassment that would ensue.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 6
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 2:35:59 PM
You're embarrassed that 'friends on here' might recognize you?
Why???

Methinks OLD is not for you~
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 7
To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 3:03:55 PM
LOL, What she said,^ ^ ^ ^ ^

IF I get the jist of what you're saying................you would be embarrassed IF someone from POF OLD site saw you and recognized you?

LOL, That's kind of a good thing don't you think? I mean seriously, don't you WANT to be recognized? Or is it the other way around? YOU want to know what HE looks like before meeting face to face but he just has.............. to guess????????


In my experience, using my picture/s was akin to "curb appeal". If my" front yard" led the viewers eye, to a "welcoming door", it was an invitation to step forward and knock. Without a "knock", I would not know there was a "visitor".
If the "Visitor", can't see,/ can't find a "door" they will keep walking/ walk on by.

.(Are you embarrassed to have people know you are ON an OLD site?)
I think you are overthinking/overreacting.
IF you want to use a site such as POF, IF you want to have a chance to find what you seek, post a picture.............................or not ..............your choice.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 8
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 3:20:48 PM

To photo or not to photo...


Not to photo.



Anyway I have some anxiety about putting up a photo because the mere idea of someone recognizing me IRL just makes my stomach churn.


Your stomach should also churn about the fact that POF has been hacked twice, and well, you know, identity theft and all that.

Not having a photo is not your biggest problem.

Even though you said you're not here for a profile review, stating up front in your profile that you're not taking OLD seriously is your biggest problem.

If YOU say you're not taking it seriously, why should any guy take YOU seriously and waste their time contacting you, photo or no photo?
 Poet_in_Motion
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 9
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 9:40:56 PM
Clytemnestra - Because they would make fun of me haha. One of them I know is on here and he would tease me to high hell.
 Poet_in_Motion
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 10
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 10:29:35 PM
fullmoonguy2- I state that I'm open to meeting someone if it works. I'm not a 'dater'. I'm not the type of person who goes around meeting people and going out on dates all the time. Some people I know love that. I don't. Most people don't interest me that much in order to exert the amount of outward energy it takes to be a serial dater like what seems to be commonplace nowadays. I just would like to meet someone who gets the cut of my jib. Who can vibe with me. Ya know?

There. I changed the wording to say I'm not taking this site SUPER seriously. It's just not me to put high expectations on something like this. After all expectations are often just planned resentments... aren't they not? Rhetorical question.

Maybe I'm not the 'typical' online dater lmao but there doesn't seem to be a ton of options these days. Not for an introvert. I did have photos up before. There's may be more responses with having photos but there is also way more BS you have to deal with.

And yeah there is the possibly of hacking.
 Poet_in_Motion
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 11
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 2/1/2019 1:50:05 AM
Ladyinred0407 -

I wouldn't be "embarrassed" if someone recognized me. I said that about my friends. Some of them like to tease and yeah I guess that's just how it is and I need to deal and suck it up. Oh and I've got a few 'brother' types and I supposedly need to screen any new boyfriends through them lmao. I'm nervous about strangers recognizing me IRL. It's just that 'thing' you know? Or not haha. Just my nerves.

What if too many people gather on your lawn? What if they form a tent city? What then?!

No he doesn't have to have photos (otherwise I would have stated that in my mail settings) and guess about me lol. Also it states on my profile that I have private photos. I do share them.

Maybe I will put them up for a bit. I am just getting my toe in the water it's a bit icy haha. Gotta get used to it.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 12
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 2/1/2019 6:20:02 AM
ok you definitely are a poet-we have a pof poetry forum- great place, entertaining,- and plopping this stuff there would be very suiting- really tent city!!! ok-lots of assumptions in here of credit where it doesn't apply-and be sure, that if you are not willing to contact others. you must guess what motivated their desire-or ask and good luck pulling the teeth to get real genuine responses about intent/motivation-to why they messaged you..but if you do probably a quality you may find worthy of the very little(self defined) you are willing to expend. But be careful you may get exactly what you seek!
 Poet_in_Motion
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 13
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 2/1/2019 1:18:36 PM
Thanks sweetie! Maybe I will post in the poetry forum. We'll see.

Yeah people do make assumptions don't they? :)

Not sure what you mean by credit where it doesn't apply. What exactly are you referring to?

Generally when people contact me it's because they like my writeup and have something to say about it. People who get my sense of humour. I mean I still get the odd weird one (i.e a guy that asked if I wanted to be a part of a threesome with him and his wife lol and another that was looking to cheat on his wife!) but when you have photos you get far more of those. It's just the weeding that goes on you know?

If I'm seeking a guy who is a good person and I find that then I need to be careful? Well yeah we should all keep one eye open at all times I suppose. I've never been one for blind faith myself.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 14
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 2/1/2019 1:25:43 PM
msg#15:
Maybe I will post in the poetry forum.


We could use some new blood there! Come on over. It's hidden, so you have to search for Poems and Quotes, then bookmark it~
 Poet_in_Motion
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 15
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 2/1/2019 1:32:08 PM
Ok cool. Will do!
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 16
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To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 2/1/2019 3:07:10 PM
👍 Clymenstra(sp?, sorry) said it better!!! But ditto!!!
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