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 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 1
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Romantics might have the wrong idea about lovePage 1 of 1    
Interesting article from BBC Future:

"Strong beliefs in true love could be blinding you to both the good and bad in your partner, with sometimes toxic results"

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20190211-the-dark-side-of-believing-in-true-love
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 2
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Romantics might have the wrong idea about love
Posted: 2/18/2019 10:32:30 AM

beliefs in true love


^^^ I am of the opinion that the thought / belief of " true love " is somewhat of an oxymoron. To think that someone is the perfect ideal of whom you wish to stake the rest of your life with, seems to border on the ridiculous. The sooner a mature couple realizes that " love " is a real & growing thing , the better they may fare . The shared feelings of love, need constant attention and nurturing.

....... In other words > " true love " is just some dumb a*ss mumbo jumbo we all wish to be true, for ( in my mind ) there is no such thing. The ONLY kind of love there is, is a love which takes constant attention - devotion and sacrifice, on both peoples part.

....... heart / ixnay true love / sun ......
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 3
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Romantics might have the wrong idea about love
Posted: 2/18/2019 11:14:01 AM
I believe I finally found true love at age 59. I know I never felt so happy and in love before that. Life was better that I ever thought it could be. Unfortunately, mental illness on her part surfaced, and she refused to seek help. That true love is what I continue to look for, but is so elusive. I just know how wonderful it was, for awhile anyway.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
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Romantics might have the wrong idea about love
Posted: 2/18/2019 11:16:49 AM
I believe in lust more than I believe in love...
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 5
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Romantics might have the wrong idea about love
Posted: 3/5/2019 7:46:32 AM
Myself, I don't believe in true love. For any of my successful relationships, it started out as friendship and an occasional lust meet. But, I find over the years, that romantic love is fleeting and intense. A general sense of being loved and giving love is how to strengthen the bonds of any new relationship. Enjoying each other's company also helps. :)

I love my wife, but yes, there are days I wish I didn't love her as much as I do. She feels pretty much the same way, but in no way would our love for each other be considered romantic. I guess we lived with each other too long, lol!
Romantics might have the wrong idea about love
Posted: 3/5/2019 7:55:12 AM
so we seek...so shall we find.

its not good to ignore red flags, in order to continue being in love with...being in love.

but there may be too much of a desire to seek constant happiness, over constant contentment. not every moment can excite us, but it can comfort us.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
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Romantics might have the wrong idea about love
Posted: 3/5/2019 8:42:46 AM
I believe romantic love does exist and can last because I've seen it too many times to ignore. However, I've also seen the problems that come with it. I think the idea of romantic love is that there is a person who can make you feel good about yourself emotionally and who excites you sexually. And some romantic love can grow in depth or morph into a different kind of companionship-based love. Sometimes one person's sex drive lessons or vanishes and there are both physical and mental reasons for this. When that happens, a relationship either stays strong or it dissipates and what happens depends on the level of companionship which exists. All people want to feel loved, needed and desired and it takes both people in the relationship to work at it which doesn't always happen. Divorce is just too damn convenient. People view their partner as replaceable. However, interestingly, half of people who divorce regret it and wish they had done something differently only two years later.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
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Romantics might have the wrong idea about love
Posted: 3/5/2019 8:53:08 AM
msg#7;
half of people who divorce regret it and wish they had done something differently only two years later.


And the other half wish they had divorced their partner two years earlier!

hahahaha

(you know it's true)
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
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Romantics might have the wrong idea about love
Posted: 3/5/2019 11:32:46 AM
Lol, I do know it's true. I wish my ex and I would have split up years earlier. He was verbally abusive, controlling, chronically unemployed and lazy so I have no regret about us splitting. But I know in a lot of relationships, things aren't that terrible and people split and I have a hard time when I see people walk away for seemingly such trivial reasons. The worst ones are "we just fell out of love" or "I'm bored". I believe that if there is no verbal or physical abuse and both people have their shit together (as in they are responsible with jobs), that if they want to separate/divorce they need to attend mandatory couples counselling or something. They owe it to their kids. The grass always looks greener on the other side but it often isn't. Ask all the dads who never see their kids or the moms struggling financially to keep their head afloat. Ask all the kids who deal with years of instability and going back and forth between mom and dad and stepfamilies and see what they have to say. I think when you get married and have kids together you have made a binding committment. In almost every marriage there are rough patches and in the good ole days, most people stayed together to make it work.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
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Romantics might have the wrong idea about love
Posted: 3/5/2019 11:48:41 AM

I think when you get married and have kids together you have made a binding committment.


Too bad more people don't think about that more seriously BEFORE they get into a problem situation.

They could save themselves a lot of grief.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 11
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Romantics might have the wrong idea about love
Posted: 3/5/2019 1:44:42 PM
I made the mistake of not believing in romantic love. My parents were a very passionate couple and when times were good for them they were very good but when times went bad, they went very bad. Their divorce took 10 messy years. I became jaded and disillusioned. So I was determined not to let myself get clouded by the idea of love. And I thought I could have kids and it didn't matter if the guy I had them with was not great because I always pictured myself raising kids on my own in the end anyways. I never believed that I could fall in love. I never believed in the idea of marriage. How idiotic is it that now I really believe in love and marriage when it's probably too late for me?
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