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 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 1
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Depression and POFPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I woke up today about 10 am. In between meals, pet and house related tasks and family communications, I have been drawn back here in a kind of addictive way. I haven't moved from my bed pretty much all day and I know that I am suffering depression for a number of reasons that my pride will not allow me to share with strangers. Can anyone relate? Can you share your stories? Will the other POF participants be supportive or judgemental?
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 2
Depression and POF
Posted: 2/18/2019 3:30:48 PM
Will the other POF participants be supportive or judgemental? had you asked a week ago, I would of shared plenty, my life is an open book. I know a bit about the subject and wont judge if you want to private message me. I wont ask for nude pics or repost anything either.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 3
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/18/2019 3:38:36 PM

Will the other POF participants be supportive or judgemental? had you asked a week ago, I would of shared plenty, my life is an open book.


What has changed in the last week and thank you for your invitation to PM.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 4
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/18/2019 3:56:34 PM
I don't need to talk about my issues but would anyone like to talk about their's. I care.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 5
Depression and POF
Posted: 2/18/2019 5:08:51 PM

What has changed in the last week
sharing on an open forum has the advantage of receiving a point of view you would not get from a smaller circle of friends. you can hear AND UNDERSTAND why they have that view and still not agree, we still gain from it. we call each other out and don't always like it but like to think we gain perspective. enter one individual that believes she is 100% correct on everything, looks down and lashes out at everyone and takes any comments as a personal attack and everything 'good' from sharing openly becomes fair game for retaliation. not interested in any of that!
 LeFouGamboj
Joined: 11/17/2018
Msg: 6
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/18/2019 6:38:12 PM
@ OP


I don't need to talk about my issues but would anyone like to talk about their's


Maybe I'm missing something here........you start a thread in which you tell us how "depressed" you are... but decline to tell your story to "strangers"..............yet you are asking "strangers" to talk about their issues!

I hope you are just joking!
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 7
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/19/2019 10:16:28 AM

Maybe I'm missing something here........you start a thread in which you tell us how "depressed" you are... but decline to tell your story to "strangers"..............yet you are asking "strangers" to talk about their issues!

I hope you are just joking!


You are absolutely right. Sounds a bit 'holier than thou'. I've been told I am too proud and that sharing the negative aspects of my life would be beneficial for me. So for starters:
1/ I've been out of work since April 2018. Thought I had a job and it fell through.
2/ My oldest child (son) has been dealing with a broken clavicle for months, has now had X-rays and needs surgery.
3/ My 80 year old Mom is developing extreme short term memory loss.
4/ I'm lonely.
5/ I'm bored.
6/ I'm depressed.
7/ I really need to get a job.....
8/ I hate aging.
9/ I need to get back to the gym but I have no motivation.
10/ I feel fat.

There. That should do for starters although I could go on. I'm not looking for pity BTW. Just looking to talk with people who can relate.
Depression and POF
Posted: 2/19/2019 11:12:36 AM
"I woke up today about 10 am."

>>>so do i, but its wintertime around here :) no seriously, sleeping in and eating comfort food almost seems like hibernation up here in the cold. i guess if i continue during the summer, its an issue.

"I have been drawn back here in a kind of addictive way."

>>>there is a lot of research into how social media gives us a fake sense of social contact, but keeps us from face to face or other physical contact.

"I haven't moved from my bed pretty much all day and I know that I am suffering depression for a number of reasons that my pride will not allow me to share with strangers."

>>>when i read this, i just figured the desire to heal thru dialogue was fighting the desire to not expose too much to criticism. as for the aspects you listed, not to downplay them...but...i think most middle aged folk run into this. Our parents weaken, and it reminds us of our own mortality. we no longer have the sense that life is fair or forever. A middle life crisis is funny until you're old enough to understand. i try not to lecture young people to stop squandering what they have--it didn't work on me, i realize why it won't work on them, but i also now understand how it feels to realize the time you have on this planet is now limited. and of course there's the issue of socializing...at this age, we don't just go to parties and bars and meet strangers and hit it off. we need more from a friend than a red Solo cup filled up. i'd bore you with my stories, but really...they're only interesting to me.

"Will the other POF participants be supportive or judgemental?"

>>>we've been here long enough to practically guess who will respond/react and how, to any issue posted here :) as with any other social vehicle, we've created cliques and frenemies and enemies.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 9
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/19/2019 11:40:28 AM

I have been drawn back here in a kind of addictive way.
6/ I'm depressed.

Have you noticed if your depression lessens or completely vanishes when you're involved in the forums?
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 10
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/19/2019 1:58:43 PM

>>>when i read this, i just figured the desire to heal thru dialogue was fighting the desire to not expose too much to criticism.


Absolutely. You are very perceptive.

Rise above?
I find that I can put things out of my mind when I am absorbed in reading or writing.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 11
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/19/2019 2:11:32 PM
I've never read anything about this but this is what I realised. You are not thinking about depression, your mind is telling you to do it, When you occupy your mind with something that you really have to think about your mind stops telling you to think about depression. I hope that makes sense, I've never explained this before.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 12
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/19/2019 2:49:37 PM

1/ I've been out of work since April 2018. Thought I had a job and it fell through.
2/ My oldest child (son) has been dealing with a broken clavicle for months, has now had X-rays and needs surgery.
3/ My 80 year old Mom is developing extreme short term memory loss.
4/ I'm lonely.
5/ I'm bored.
6/ I'm depressed.
7/ I really need to get a job.....
8/ I hate aging.
9/ I need to get back to the gym but I have no motivation.
10/ I feel fat.


Look at the bright side:

You're not a short guy who gets no messages on POF. (not even an offer of phone sex)


That should do for starters although I could go on.


Please do.
It's not like us guys have overflowing inboxes we have to get to.


6/ I'm depressed.


I get that way every time I see a "1" by the inbox tab and click over, only to find out it's just ANOTHER message from Markus.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 13
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/19/2019 3:07:45 PM

I've never read anything about this but this is what I realised. You are not thinking about depression, your mind is telling you to do it, When you occupy your mind with something that you really have to think about your mind stops telling you to think about depression. I hope that makes sense, I've never explained this before.


Thank you for your insights but depression is very real. I've taken medication for it for years and many times, feeling much better due to the medication, I would stop and spiral back into depression. Keeping busy definitely helps but most business is an attempt to escape the feelings and side effects of depression. I am strong that way. Not all are.

Full Moon Guy....You're not that short. I enjoyed your message and your profile is hilarious. I wish we were closer in distance. You sound like a lot of fun!
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 14
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/19/2019 3:27:04 PM
You're suffering from PMS!

Usually hits most this time of year. Cold, snow, gray skies, being tired of looking at the four walls. You yearn for a hint of green outside. It's only 9 days until March 1. Or 29 days until the first day of spring. (March 20)

What PMS do I refer to? Parked Motorcycle Syndrome. (51 years behind the bars, and I still have it happen to me)
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 15
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/19/2019 3:36:06 PM

What PMS do I refer to? Parked Motorcycle Syndrome. (51 years behind the bars, and I still have it happen to me)


Lol....had me going there for a minute....I'm 58.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 16
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/19/2019 3:38:27 PM

I enjoyed your message and your profile is hilarious. I wish we were closer in distance. You sound like a lot of fun!


Muchas gracias.

I used to get sort of reaction quite a bit in the glory days of OLD.

Hardly ever anymore.

Proof positive that OLD has gone downhill. :(
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 17
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/19/2019 3:49:47 PM

but most business is an attempt to escape the feelings and side effects of depression
Well I would definitely have written a different post if you had mentioned meds. Instead I would have asked if the forums was a a distraction for you like it is for me. Now I know


I am strong that way. Not all are.

No they aren't Nothing in our lives prepares us to deal with depression. The least they could do is teach the symptoms in school so people might recognise it's happening. I didn't recognise it.





.
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 18
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/19/2019 5:25:39 PM
Sorry to hear you're feeling down, Shirley. I've got a little winter blues too. Three snowstorms coming in the next 5 days and we already have 3 feet on the ground!

I'm retired, so keeping busy is important. For health reasons, I go to the gym almost everyday. I've read that exercise can release endorphins and ease depression. Hang in there, things always seem to work out. Good luck to your son with his surgery.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 19
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/20/2019 4:14:23 PM
Usually I know how many days until spring, because I can't stand winter. I consider certain events, holidays as mile markers to the first day of spring. I also consider one warm day of winter, as one less cold day to live through. When temps drop to single digits, I generally hunker down on those days. (I've killed too many vehicles in those cold temps, so they just sit)

Nobodies holding you down but you. If you have to fight to feel better, then, I suggest you do it.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 20
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/20/2019 6:02:17 PM
No way would I have guessed ya to be 58, more in late 40's. I am recently turned 59, and while grateful to have a job, it does cause a bit of stress. If its not winter, I go outside, dig in dirt, plant things, watch stuff grow and read.

Hopefully you and son will be better soon.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 21
Depression and POF
Posted: 2/21/2019 10:26:02 AM

What has changed in the last week and thank you for your invitation to PM.
maybe not so obvious when you asked but saw issues from another poster coming my way long before she lost her marbles.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 22
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/21/2019 10:32:59 PM

maybe not so obvious when you asked but saw issues from another poster coming my way long before she lost her marbles.


We can always just choose to ignore those other posters but....I'm feeling much better today. Read my daily journal, parts of Matthew from the New Testament and focused on the positive in a very deliberate way and asked for help many times from the Lord I am trying to get to know better.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 23
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Depression and POF
Posted: 2/21/2019 10:34:06 PM
Thanks so much, Texas Chick!
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 24
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Posted: 2/22/2019 9:28:14 AM
those who suffer SAD in some level or another, decide that winter--or at least real winter, up north--is harder on singles than on couples who are warm to each other. we get cabin fever, we question if life is passing us by, its like being in a prison cell--too much time to reflect on our lives and where they have gotten us. keeping busy helps, but there's only so many times we can re-organize our VCR collection.

shacking up with a human being in a healthy relationship may help us more than having a pet who is also feeling hibernation tendencies. or it might make the two of us ready to kill each other :)
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 25
Depression and POF
Posted: 2/22/2019 10:06:16 AM
clinical depression and just being depressed are not the same. many of lifes situation can leave us depressed but most come out of it in time. you lose your job but eventually learn to live on less or get a better job and the depression is gone. a loved one passes and we are upset but eventually come to terms with it, again, the depression goes away. caring for an autistic or handicapped child can be depressing at times and the issue may never go away but the depression can. as you accept the situation and make the best of it, it becomes less of a burden and just part of life. I have many chores I do daily that I never think about, just life. now clinical depression needs no reason. any of the above can definitely trigger it but it can also come without any reason at all. not the winter blues, bad hair day or even just having an off day. your just depressed and either focus on issues that 'could' be the cause or are just simply depressed without a reason.
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