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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?      Home login  
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 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 1
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I read this morning in my daily devotional given to my by my daughter for Christmas, that when I realize my thinking or speach is unworthy of God, then I should make every effort to change the subject. I have been communicating on other threads in a way that shames me now and that I will discontinue. I apologize to all I have offended. I could blame anger and depression but really, there are no excuses.

I am looking for a life partner who also wishes to create a closer relationship with God so that we can support each other. This thread could provide a possible forum to meet posters who also want to share their faith, their stories and perhaps even meet a Christian minded POF member. The site is free after all unlike Christian dating sites.

My first step to develop a closer relationship with God was to begin reading a daily devotional and the bible and the second is to eliminate alcohol from my life. Alcohol does not enhance my life in any way including physically, emotionally, spiritually or financially. I want to God to be the master of my life and not be driven by the desire for a drink at the end of my day. I would love to talk with other posters who feel the same way and who would like to use this platform as a way to get people talking and becoming closer to God.

If this thread is permitted to continue and not as a pedestal for a religious debate, I promise that I will respond to or ignore any haters in a way that is worthy of God and I would hope that other posters would commit to the same.

Let this one thread show love, compassion and respect for all.
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 2
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/23/2019 10:56:52 AM
Shirley
"I read this morning in my daily devotional given to my by my daughter for Christmas, that when I realize my thinking or speach is unworthy of God, then I should make every effort to change the subject. I have been communicating on other threads in a way that shames me now and that I will discontinue. I apologize to all I have offended. I could blame anger and depression but really, there are no excuses."

I am an atheist. I do not promote atheism as I believe folk have the right to have a belief if they choose to do so.

I wish you well in your quest.

Have you heard of an Australian singer called Nick Cave?

He has a website going at the moment called the Red Right Hand Files.

He takes and answers questions from folk. (Not everyone of course as he has many many fans).

I have his music and he is very New Testament minded. Although he explores many themes.

God is mentioned quite a lot. Check out God Is In The House as an example.

Join the Red Right Hand Files and ask a question.

I shall look out and see if it is picked.

All the best from an auld atheist from Edinburgh.

https://www.theredhandfiles.com
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 3
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/23/2019 11:17:32 AM
Hello Vlad.
I sent a question to the Red Right Hand Files and will check later for an answer.
I am now listening 'God is in the House'. Simple and meaningful lyrics with easy listening music.
I am happy you have kept an open and non-judgemental mind.
Thank you.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 4
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/23/2019 3:15:22 PM
I've always wondered about the cognitive dissonance between Christians and modern dating. Mainly as it pertains to sex. It just seems like if one were really true to Christianity, they'd abstain from sex til marriage. Dating would be dating - no sex. Everyone knows that this is almost never the case though, even among Christians.

And I can say, having grown up in the most socially conservative regions in the Bible Belt, that this just isn't true for a large % of those who consider themselves "Christian," at least from my unofficial pole, ooops, I mean poll. I guess "pole" works too, though, in this context. But I digress.

I was raised around this pretense. So personally, I tend to believe if someone who believes they are devout, then has sex before marriage, they're really being a bit hypocritical....and aren't really as "Christian" as they believe they are.

You asked.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 5
Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/23/2019 3:56:19 PM
but it isn't all black or all white. even the extreme religious are guilty of sin. religion teaches how we 'should' live/behave but doesn't require perfection. an atheist can live by high moral standards while a Christian still falls short in many ways, doesn't change their beliefs. if one honestly tries, that is enough. thanks to shirleys post, I will try a little harder.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 6
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/23/2019 4:11:34 PM
^^^

Sure. But where I grew up, deep South...largely rural.....the expectations can be pretty "black and white," lol....

Not to say I really believe it; after all, I never really became religious, much less seriously devout. I just saw too much hypocrisy based on the "black/white" a heard growing up.

And "perfection" is a tall order to be sure...but it's difficult to watch/listen to someone religiously pontificating if you know that person also has issues living up to the "gold standard" that is presented by religions.

I don't hate religion - I always felt the church, and organized religion overall, offers a lot to the poor...and small and disadvantaged communities by way of social networking, cohesion and community building as much as the teachings/expectations presented.

Liberals hate religion but ignore the fact that without churches/religion/beliefs that poor blacks likely never would have had the coordination and concerted effort, means and inner strength to challenge and eventually defeat desegregation - arguably the greatest liberal accomplishment in the last century.
 rednwhiterider
Joined: 6/23/2018
Msg: 7
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/23/2019 4:17:40 PM
you don't happen to be state machine by chance?
(just coincidence not making accusations)

anyways
I run a 496 hd ally 6 speed... super sport.lol.
mine is limited at the speed of ..... tires.
might dyno a bit more aggressive but it's winter...
I also drive like grandma who keeps wrecking. lol
sok...
my bikes have no such luck or temperance.


not everyone in the cemetery is the same, save relieved.
nor are all golfers the same.

some xtain priests have wives and kids...
some are child rapists.

I think the op is starting a journey.
we've all been there.

first step is the hardest.


religion is a tough subject and not the topic.
many fighters would rather show up and lose, than win by looking good.

Shirley is not alone on her quest.

I think... bamdum *tsss
most folks here are looking for something.
finding like minded folks is key.

I am hesitant to label because it eliminates and ostracizes.
maybe the kindness of Christmas is a good thing in folks lives. ?.

want a clause might not be real.... but the tooth fairy is.



damn... Jon is nuked.

I wonder who did that?
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 8
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/23/2019 4:56:56 PM

you don't happen to be state machine by chance?
No – relative newcomer – have only had this ID during my entire POF life. Miracle lol.


I run a 496 hd ally 6 speed... super sport.lol.
496?? Ya mean 396? I don’t know nuff bout big blocks to know if there is a bored-and-stroked version that can make 496? Bet our house expert – GTO – can chime in to clear that confusion up.


mine is limited at the speed of ..... tires.
might dyno a bit more aggressive but it's winter...
I also drive like grandma who keeps wrecking. lol
sok...
But honestly, no musclecars for me, in decades. I won’t even admit what I drive now….it’s embarassing…but at least the cops ignore me! Lol


my bikes have no such luck or temperance.
Same with bikes – it’s been decades…sadly…although I keep dreaming bout a giant HD in my retirement years. If I can get a do-rag, giant gray stache and a ponytail to cooperate.


I am hesitant to label because it eliminates and ostracizes.
maybe the kindness of Christmas is a good thing in folks lives. ?.
I’ve been lucky enough so far in my life to have known, worked with, partied with, or otherwise acquainted with….people from all walks, classes, races, religions, political leanings, etc. etc. etc. ….and seen good sides/opinions from everyone. I’d bet most here would get along much more in person, over a beer, or whatever.

Carry on with the OP sorry to hijack the thread, Shirley.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 9
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/23/2019 5:14:38 PM

So personally, I tend to believe if someone who believes they are devout, then has sex before marriage, they're really being a bit hypocritical....and aren't really as "Christian" as they believe they are.


You are right in that I am beginning a journey. I was raised the same way and turned off religion also because of the hypocrisy I saw even within my own family. Your thoughts regarding sex before marriage are difficult as I was raised also to believe the same thing. Today I read in Matthew that a man who divorces his wife, except in the case of sexual immorality is guilty of adultery if he takes another wife. I'm assuming that would go for women too. My divorce was almost 30 years ago for those reasons but for others, I know that true repentance will bring forgiveness and I don't believe God expects people to be single for the rest of their lives.

Considering sex before marriage as I continue on this journey will probably mean that I must marry first so hopefully I will find a like minded man. I've got a lot to learn.

I am strengthened too by Jon's committment to try harder due to my example. I hope we see him back.
 rednwhiterider
Joined: 6/23/2018
Msg: 10
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/23/2019 5:15:59 PM
stock 496.

redicorouse

only one that beats, is 505 caddy
 Forereels
Joined: 5/22/2011
Msg: 11
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/23/2019 5:51:18 PM

496?? Ya mean 396? I don’t know nuff bout big blocks to know if there is a bored-and-stroked version that can make 496?


Yes, the 496 is a 454 block with a stroker kit...
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 12
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Lets talk about cars, bikes, boats and motors!
Posted: 2/23/2019 8:03:20 PM
Hi Guys! I put your posts in your very own relevant thread! You can check it out at the subject title above in "Off Topic" and talk to your heart's content about all those things. Thank you all however for the things you said to me relevant to this thread.
 Forereels
Joined: 5/22/2011
Msg: 13
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Lets talk about cars, bikes, boats and motors!
Posted: 2/24/2019 2:06:34 AM
Oops, sorry about that!!


Today I read in Matthew that a man who divorces his wife, except in the case of sexual immorality is guilty of adultery if he takes another wife. I'm assuming that would go for women too. My divorce was almost 30 years ago for those reasons but for others, I know that true repentance will bring forgiveness and I don't believe God expects people to be single for the rest of their lives.


Life is too short to repent, use the time now to help reach your future goals… Best of luck dropping alcohol, I did it four years ago as a new year’s resolution and don’t miss it at this point… It’s funny, people give me bottles of it, and I just give it away to others…
Lets talk about cars, bikes, boats and motors!
Posted: 2/24/2019 4:14:57 AM
Shirley, I ask this in all seriousness, were you always religious or is this a more recent thing? The only reason I ask is because of your previous post about your mental health. I'm not judging you on those issues, everyone has their problems. It usually catches my attention though, when depressed people suddenly find religion. If you are spiraling please seek help.


Just looking at some of what you posted in thread, it seems your thinking is becoming muddled
Today I read in Matthew that a man who divorces his wife, except in the case of sexual immorality is guilty of adultery if he takes another wife.


I will admit, I'm an atheist, but I have some died in the wool catholic friends who would find those words above, archaic.
To try to live your life and guilt yourself into conforming to what some people decided fit their agenda years ago, is not in any way healthy today.
If you are using religion as a crutch or substitute for something, it isn't a very good one. Professional help along with a good diet and exercise would probably go a long way towards helping you cope better. Instead of reading the daily devotional, go for a walk or a run. I know it's cold out, so dress for it You will get as better as you decide to.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 15
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/24/2019 4:32:27 AM

I could blame anger and depression but really, there are no excuses.

No depression isn't an excuse but it does affect your thinking and other emotions. It's a part of you and don't you think it affects or has become part of your personality.


Life is too short to repent

i can't speak for other religions but since they're all based on the same book and are all offshoots of catholicism they're probably pretty close when it comes to repentance. I was first taught to repent at the age of 6 in a catholic school and that it is a life long commitment. It's all based on seeking forgiveness for your sins and it's each individual who decides what sins they committed.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 16
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/24/2019 5:19:59 AM
I think you could benefit from listening to this guy Shirley.

actualized
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l96TZeZGlDg

and

infinite waters
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bfU5fxmZXE

good luck. You're stronger than you think.
 platitude545
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 17
Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/24/2019 5:46:45 AM
"""Today I read in Matthew that a man who divorces his wife, except in the case of sexual immorality is guilty of adultery if he takes another wife. I'm assuming that would go for women too.""

Shirley when religion causes guilt instead of joy, thereby possibly contributing to your depression, it is time to start questioning how beneficial it is in your life. I highly recommend reading for another perspective The God Delusion, by Richard Dawkins, an easy and very good read, also God is not Great, by Chris Hitchens, a harder read but still good. Religion can be very beneficial, but to allow the men who wrote the bible to dictate to you how you should live your life, to require their state of perfection, more importantly to allow these ancients to tell you when you have sinned, standards no man can possibly meet..can make any believer depressed.

The book could change your life for the better. Worse that happens, you reject what you read.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 18
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/24/2019 10:15:31 AM
Hello Platitude and all who read this.
Those are very good suggestions, but at this time the Bible is taking up my all attention.

That bit about divorce I now realize was God's law before Christ died for us and no longer applies. I'm sure I will learn more about sex before marriage and I will share that you when I am able.

My depression has lifted and I am not feeling guilt but great joy and new hope because true repentance of our sins wipes them away and we can make a fresh start regardless of what we have done in the past as long as we truly believe that Jesus died for us. I am working hard to overcome my doubts and to reach that place of true belief.

I can't pretend to know everything because I don't but below is a great link if you are interested in the history of the Bible!
https://www.everystudent.com/features/bible.html

It would be nice to have you continue to share my journey.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 19
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/24/2019 10:50:50 AM
I'm sorry I didn't get to everyone's comments and suggestions.
Some have expressed concern for my mental health and thank you.
I am in regular contact with my doctor and I enjoy walking three dogs off leash almost every day and plan to join the gym again tomorrow.

I was raised in the Christian Reformed Church developed by Dutch immigrants which held to such very strict and devout concepts of religion that I was driven away. Although I always struggled with doubts, I wanted to believe in the promise of Salvation. Somehow just in the past few days, I have managed to develop this amazing, firm committment towards a change in my life which I am going to attribute to GOD!

My depression has lifted and somehow I have found the strength to say no to alcohol. Sure, today is only day 5 but I have been drinking every day of my life for almost 20 years and am experiencing no withdrawal symptoms, a miracle in itself!

There was a reason for a great deal of my depression and use of alcohol for the purpose of self medication. My daughter, my baby angel, aged 35 made the enormous decision almost 9 months ago, to enter a faith based rehabilitation centre called Teen Challenge. She was a hard core heroin mainliner and near death when she finally found the strength to change her life. Her joy, faith and renewed hope for the future has inspired me and also given me great joy. It is my greatest desire to be a source of support and inspiration to her when she completes her program in June and I have put off any attempts for far too long.

I am working on it the best way I can and will appreciate any emotional and spiritual support I am offered.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 20
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/24/2019 11:32:06 AM

My depression has lifted and somehow I have found the strength to say no to alcohol. Sure, today is only day 5 but I have been drinking every day of my life for almost 20 years and am experiencing no withdrawal symptoms, a miracle in itself!


It will be 5 weeks, then 5 months soon enough :) Plenty of water. Awesome stuff :)
 platitude545
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 21
Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/24/2019 11:46:12 AM
Shirley, salvation comes from within. Have the strength to forgive yourself for whatever you believe needs forgiving. You are only human. No man alive can meet the standards set forth in the bible. Remember, religion attempts to control not only actions but thoughts. Your thoughts are free subject to your free will alone.
 rednwhiterider
Joined: 6/23/2018
Msg: 22
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Posted: 2/24/2019 1:43:56 PM
sorry for the cross talk.....

I'm not sure where you live but you might look into
celebrate recovery.

it's faith based and I know of at least one person they helped.
I'm not really sure what they do... but he said it great.
a group to support you seems important.
I think you even get a mentor or something.....

careful taking too much on at once.
sobriety, faith, getting in shape, mental health, and dating are a lot at one time.
it's very easy to get derailed.
it took years for you to get here...
don't be discouraged if it takes a little while to get where you want to be.

good luck and congratulations!
if your God helps you change your life,
all the better.
 Million_Reasons
Joined: 10/23/2018
Msg: 23
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/24/2019 4:31:10 PM
Msg:21

"Remember, religion attempts to control not only actions but thoughts"

Sorry that has been your experience with religion. I have found it to be more liberating as it teaches that not everything is in our control. That in and of itself can be very freeing. Being able to recognize and reconcile the things within and beyond our control can bring much balance and peace to the heart.


Shirley...

I wish I could impart the words of wisdom of an enlightened sage but I have none. Best I can offer is that your spiritual journey is an individual one....take and discard advice and internalize what feels right in your heart. Trust your heart....it knows.

A song for you...
https://youtu.be/65uKK7ilE2w


Msg:22

Nice post, Red. :)
 platitude545
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 24
Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/24/2019 6:55:08 PM
My only point is that religious mandates cause guilt in believers and can cause depression I would guess, so somebody has to look inside themselves and decide they are not going to feel they sinned because their religion said they did. I mean the 10 commandments forbid a man from being attracted to his neighbors wife, I.e a thought crime, i.e. a crime for being a man.
 Million_Reasons
Joined: 10/23/2018
Msg: 25
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Christianity and POF - Can they be combined?
Posted: 2/24/2019 7:23:04 PM
Your lack of knowledge and understanding of Christianity are self evident. The "I would guess" is a big give away.


"I mean the 10 commandments forbid a man from being attracted to his neighbors wife, I.e a thought crime, i.e. a crime for being a man."

Lmao! "The crime of being a man"? And I suppose the "punishment of being a woman" means she just has to deal with her husband havng lustful "thoughts" about her neighbor's wife?

You SHOULD feel guilt if you are having lustful thoughts about another man's wife and not your own. Don't try to normalize it....get a divorce.
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