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 Chrissi31
Joined: 11/24/2018
Msg: 1
1 word replies after 4th date?Page 1 of 1    
Join Date
Feb 2019
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1
1 word replies after four dates
Hi

Just need a bit of advice i guess.

So i started recently dating a guy who is from Ireland, i met him at a dating site.

We seemed to have conversation chemistry and we kissed on the third date passionately.

However, before and after he met me for the first time he was very very sexually suggestive.

Although I am up in general for sex talk, I feel like we this is something that should not be on all the time and its something that also needs to build up naturally, as we
dont really know each other yet.

I let him know . politely of that and i also let him know that i am looking for a relationship and that i would rather be honest to each other as to what we are looking for.

He told me he is looking for a relationship too and that he wants to get married and have kids.

Of course I had asked him if he is married or ever married before or if he has kids because i have been burnt before by a situation where a person was not honest at all about this and i have to ask these questions. I asked this from the get go and i also confirmed this as well on the third date, because this is online and we dont have any reference about each other at all, so i would like to avoid any such kind of situation.

He is 40 and I am 31.

So, after the fourth date I texted him and we chatted a bit and he asked me photos of my flat.

I told him that i dont have photos right now but i would send next day.

Next day comes, i texted him for good morning and stuff, and i got one word answers only.

Dont know what is going on.

As a background to my story, he lives and works in London but he has a house and a farm in Ireland, where he is from.

He told me he goes every three weeks or less.

Also, he told me his parents have died and he has a sister as a very close relative.

Now, the thing is that on our third date, a woman called him and he said she is his sister.

He put her on speaker and he asked her what does she want and she didnt spoke.

She insisted again.

To me, this doesnt look like a sister, calling in the middle of a Saturday night, honestly and insisting.

I didnt comment on this incident of course.

Do you think something else is going on here?

You can never know can you?

To me it seems he lost interest or something else was going on.

Our fourth date was 2 days ago.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 2
1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 2/28/2019 3:39:19 AM
4th date and you haven't given it up is more than likely his issue. The one word answer are childish. Now you've meant to come running like a love sick puppy(control).

I'd cut your losses lass and GTFO. He is after one thing. FOS.
 Chrissi31
Joined: 11/24/2018
Msg: 3
1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 2/28/2019 3:44:50 AM
Dont you think, there might be something else going on too?
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 4
1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 2/28/2019 3:46:29 AM
Also take all sexual stuff away. If he is immature like this with 1 word replies. It shows no respect whatsoever and said Immature antics will only grow and worsen over time.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 5
1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 2/28/2019 3:49:59 AM

Dont you think, there might be something else going on too?


I'd get blunt and ask all the awkward questions . Not on text though. Ring him. Only way to really know. The way he picks phone up and answers should tell you a lot. Is he excited you called?

See where I'm going.
 Chrissi31
Joined: 11/24/2018
Msg: 6
1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 2/28/2019 3:52:46 AM
well im not gonna initiate any more contact now, as after 1 word replies i asked if he is ok and he didnt reply.
The "something else going on" bit, goes to the incident with his supposed sister and the fact that he goes too often there.
I mean ye Ireland is close, but he goes a bit too often.
I asked all the akward questions in person already and the answer is negative to all.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 7
1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 2/28/2019 4:01:17 AM

The "something else going on" bit, goes to the incident with his supposed sister and the fact that he goes too often there.


Trust those instincts. The reasons don't matter. Lets say its another woman. That might be the reasons for the quick replies. Either way. He lacks interest.


I asked all the akward questions in person already and the answer is negative to all.


All negative. Run. Do you really need this rubbish in your life. Isn't dating meant to be positive and fun.
 Chrissi31
Joined: 11/24/2018
Msg: 8
1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 2/28/2019 4:06:49 AM
By negative, I mean he replied no as to he is married and he has children .

I don t know, im really confused.

Ye to me seems like he is after one thing.....
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 9
1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 2/28/2019 4:22:04 AM
Hopefully, You aren't too involved emotionally. Better for it to happen now rather than way down the line.
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 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 10
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1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 2/28/2019 8:47:28 AM
Actually, I am surprised that he gave you four chances. Yes, he does want one thing... absolute commitment. He was waiting for you to plant your flag in him solidly but instead you played Little Miss Muffet sitting on her tuffet. He's not mad at you. He just realizes that unless you are with him and for him one hundred percent at the very start then you can have no future together.

You have an outstanding profile. You'll get another chance with someone else. You don't have to sleep with this kind of guy, if that is what worries you. He wants someone who is totally devoted to him.
 jerseynative7
Joined: 10/26/2018
Msg: 11
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1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 2/28/2019 10:03:48 AM
Why is he asking you for photos of where you live? Thats odd to me. Based on what you wrote, he is hiding something. It wouldnt
surprise me if he has children in Ireland which is why he goes there every few weeks. Maybe they are grown so he doesnt consider them 'kids'. Im not sure what the above poster is talking about. Your not obligated to give someone a commitment after a few dates. He seems to be looking for sex and didnt get it after a few dates thus 1 word replies or no replies at all since he is not interested anymore really.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 12
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1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 2/28/2019 10:10:19 AM
"although I am up in general for sex talk, I feel like we this is something that should not be on all the time and its something that also needs to build up naturally, as we dont really know each other yet. "

>>>so that's your boundary, and its a good one if your comfortable with it...yet...you're wondering what's up. what is likely up is that...your barrier overrode how good he looks, and it saved you from what you don't want.

"He told me he is looking for a relationship too and that he wants to get married and have kids."

>>>oh sure...someday :) but that doesn't mean soon. people say they want to live in a mansion, as well.

"he asked me photos of my flat. "

>>>i'll guess he was seeking signs of mankind in those photos, but still...don't give someone you won't hand a key of your flat to, photos of it.
 drunkcat
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 13
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1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 2/28/2019 5:57:19 PM
Asking for pictures of your flat is indeed very odd. The only reason that I can come up with is that maybe he suspects you're in a relationship , so by asking for pictures of your flat he is trying to gauge whether someone lives there or not. If you flat is very spacious and contains things that a man might own then he'll probably speculate that you are in a relationship with someone else. By not sending him pictures of your flat he might be thinking you are purposefully trying to hide something. But this is all just my guessing and trying to get into his head. Typically men that send one word answers are either upset, indifferent, or are playing mind games. He seems very mysterious though. Acting sexually aggressive very early in your interactions is a red flag and potentially shows he might not be interested in something long term. It's a little too soon to tell if he has lost interest considering that your last date was two days ago.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 14
1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 2/28/2019 6:05:18 PM
This is some stats but I take them as is. But they reckon 50 to 60 % of people are already in a relationship.

https://www.datingnews.com/industry-trends/online-dating-statistics-what-they-mean-for-future/
 Chrissi31
Joined: 11/24/2018
Msg: 15
1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 3/1/2019 6:19:11 AM
ok.... i had sent him today a msg on the dating . site as i deleted his number that i would appreciate if he told me he is not interested anymore in me instead of disappearing and he told me that he is really tired and difficult to sleep in the new place. I said ok whatever. I think he is ridiculous
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 16
1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 3/1/2019 7:50:34 AM

I think he is ridiculous


Do not let that door hit your ass on the way out ;)


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 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 17
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1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 3/1/2019 8:08:02 AM
He isnt upfront . Hes supposed to be an adult. Why deal with someone like that?
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 18
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1 word replies after 4th date?
Posted: 3/1/2019 6:25:41 PM

Just need a bit of advice i guess.


Move on and raise your standards.
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