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 NLCtech96
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 1
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Am I really that unnatractive?Page 1 of 1    
I've been on and off pof and many other dating sites over the last 10 years, with no luck at all. I MIGHT get 4 or 5 responses in the course of a year, and that's on a good year.

I have had no luck on any of these dating sites or apps. No views, no matches, no nothing. Am I really that bad looking?
 worthatry54
Joined: 3/2/2019
Msg: 2
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/6/2019 1:38:04 AM
Hi, I cannot comment on your looks, as I have no idea what women might look for, but at first glance no problem, I have seen far less attractive guys with nice looking partners, so looks is not your problem in my view.
I do however think you sound desperate, for example your title has 'someone' or is 'somebody' in capitals - I think that shouts loudly of desperation, but as I am a Brit, American English might view it differently.
The fact you have posted another message here not so long ago shows how it is getting to you, and perhaps in your messages that is coming across to potential partners..
I think you need to make a very big effort NOT to mention anything to a potential date about feeling very lonely - we are all lonely to a certain extent, but going on about it (or anything else like family) too much before a meeting could scare a woman off.
I will leave it that for now, as I am honestly curious to read a woman's opinion, as your profile is nowhere near as bad as your lack of dates suggests.
 worthatry54
Joined: 3/2/2019
Msg: 3
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/6/2019 1:57:37 AM
Wooops - cannot see an edit feature, and realise that you have not posted a similar message recently, sorry.
I got distracted here and confused myself.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 4
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/6/2019 12:11:27 PM
I honestly think online dating is not for you. You need to join some sort of recreational group where it is mostly women then they have a chance to get to know you better and if they like your personality then they will be more attracted to you.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 5
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/6/2019 12:56:58 PM
Your profile says this


I have not really ever been in any kind of serious relationship that has lasted any longer than a month, and that alone tends to turn people off. I don't know why I don't just give up trying all together....people tell me all the time I try too hard, but I just keep hoping that one day, someone special will come along and just give me a chance, rather than seeing my pictures and moving on.


You need a total redo of your profile text. The length of it too would make me go to sleep. In fact if it was a female profile I'd have read 2 paragraphs then seen the wall of text and think f*ck it I'm gone.
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 6
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/7/2019 10:26:02 AM
OP, after reading your profile, I need to take a prozac. So depressing!
No one is going to respond to that.
 NLCtech96
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 7
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/7/2019 6:37:56 PM
ok, I will change my main pic so it doesn't mention being lonely. I stopped putting my pic up as my main because I wasn't getting any views.

Also, why do you think online dating is not for me?

Cinnamon girl - why do you think my profile is depressing?
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 8
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/10/2019 9:12:54 PM
You've already heard it but no relationships longer than a month and you are 40? Huge red flag.
Seriously, no offense but how is this even possible?
Profile is too long, somewhat negative, specifications about parenting styles when you've never been a parent.....but back to the lack of any long term relationship. That is the problem. Perhaps you could explain in a positive way?
 NLCtech96
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 9
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/11/2019 3:23:36 PM
Because I've tried....and tried....and tried. No one will take any interest in me. I just don't know what to do or say.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 10
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/11/2019 3:28:09 PM
Ok after seeing your latest primary image.

Grow up!!!
 NLCtech96
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 11
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/11/2019 3:34:48 PM
So what do you recommend? Honestly....I stole that from another profile I saw lol.

Made some other changes, so let me know what you think.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 12
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/11/2019 3:40:58 PM
I recommend becoming a grown man. Sorting that shitty horrendous profile that screams pity **** me.

It's not your looks. It's your childish profile and btw sometime men don't get views. You're meant to chase. I can see why you only had a relationship of one month max!

What stupid women would reply to you with that really "no words to explain it" profile. But yer we will just blame the females aye ;)
 NLCtech96
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 13
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/11/2019 6:21:30 PM
ok explain to me how it sounds self pitty. I've been told by many people that self pitty is very unattractive, and I thought I was careful NOT to make my profile to sound like I am full of it.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 14
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/11/2019 7:40:15 PM
I come here and give advice sometimes. Most of the time people argue with suggestions, or get all offended. I hope you are able to listen. without getting all hurt.
Photos; Get rid of the tree shot. Get rid of the dog shot. If it's your dog, use a photo of you with your dog. Your third photo would be good if you didn't have that glare coming thru the window.


Well, I'm trying this once again, after being on and off of here, as well as many other dating sites over many years, and not having any luck.

Delete that.


I have not really ever been in any kind of serious relationship that has lasted any longer than a month, and that alone tends to turn people off. I know a lot of people will see that and wonder why, but honestly, it's only been 3 times sporatically over the last 20 years, and things just didn't end up working out. One girl lived 2 hours away and decided it was too much for her and because of her cirumstances, she could not move. Another, I ended because the gal was very unstable, and I felt it wouldn't work long term, and most recently, the gal I started dating had a stroke and will never recover. I'm explaining all of this because so many people have asked me how and why things have never lasted for me, and it's been very few and far between that I've been able to spark anyone's interest, sadly.

Delete that too. Too much detail. If you get a date, and if you get a second date, you could tell your date a shorter version of this.


People tell me all the time I try too hard, but I just keep hoping that one day, someone special will come along and just give me a chance, rather than seeing my pictures and moving on.

Yes, delete this too.


I am looking for true compansionship. I want to find that special someone who I can cuddle with, take road trips with, and take to meet my family. I want someone who is a true, genuine person, who will truely take an interest in me, and love me, and accept me for who I am. That someone who I can come up from behind and give a big hug, hold hands with when We're taking a walk, and send a random text to during the day and say "I love you". I want to find that someone who we can just sit and talk and tell each other our life stories, or talk about how our day went, go out to dinner together, go grocery shopping together, or go to a movie together.

Rewrite this. Spell companionship correctly.

I want someone who is a true, genuine person, who will truely take an interest in me, and love me, and accept me for who I am..
Take this out! You are asking for too much at this point.


and send a random text to during the day and say "I love you". .

And take this out too.


I drive for a living, so taking the chance of getting a DUI is just not even an option.

Take this out.


I am looking for someone who is down to earth and ready to settle down. Someone who is willing to accept me for who I am, and be comfortable enough with each other to come to each other when you need to cry, laugh, ask for advice or get something off your chest. I don't want someone who is into drugs, or has to drink all the time. If you smoke cigs, that's one thing. If you have to smoke a bit of weed to kill some pain or something like that every now and then, I get it. But if You're into smoking to get high, or are into any kind of drugs at all, please move on.....it won't work..

Take this out, entirely too preachy. Just tell a date or potential date that you don't do drugs or drink to excess, and wait for her response.


While I do love kids, and would love to be a part of a family, I also want you to have raised your kids with proper discipline.

Way too demanding at this point. Big turnoff. If you meet and date a woman with kids, wait and see what her kids are like. And then you ramble on about mouthing off and abusive relationships. Is this how you talk to women you meet casually in real life? OMG, take the entire paragraph out.


I've tried everything from going on these dating sites, to going to singles events, to going out and volunteering and just doing anything in general to try to meet people, and nothing has worked, at least not yet, but you know what they say, NEVER give up! I'd love to talk and get to know you if you will give me the opportunity :-)

Take this out too. Makes me think if I meet you, you'll have some unpleasant habits or something. Otherwise you would have dates in real life. Do you have any close friends? Ask them what you're doing wrong.

With you being active, a DJ, you should be able to strike up a conversation in real life and ask for a coffee date.

I found a couple of spelling errors. When you rewrite your profile, run it thru Word spell check.

Once you rewrite your profile and get new photos, delete your current profile, wait a month or two, and create a new profile.

Yup, never give up. I was 66 when my current BF found me. I'm overweight, and had a disabled daughter still living with me. So it is possible to find someone.
 NLCtech96
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 15
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/12/2019 7:37:55 PM
Not offended at all. I just updated it, and took out everything you said to, including the paragraph about my potential partner's kids, as others also suggested.

I honestly don't WANT a profile to look like it reeks of self pitty, as EVERYONE tells me that is a major turnoff. if a GUY is telling me I sound like I need to grow up, girls are thinking the same thing too, and I want to come off as someone happy.

I will update my pics when I find some other good ones.

Also, why do you recommend I delete my profile and make another one in a couple of months?
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 16
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/13/2019 6:25:42 AM
I delete mine from time to time and make a new one straight away. It acts like a kind of boost for a small while and can get you seen by some women that normally wouldn't see you.

On saying that still the same old faces haha ;)
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 17
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/13/2019 7:28:57 PM
Much better :)

Messages this short may not be posted.
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 18
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Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/14/2019 2:50:55 AM
NLCtech96,

That is much better. Your original profile was just sad.
 Indiallias1111
Joined: 2/24/2019
Msg: 19
Am I really that unnatractive?
Posted: 3/14/2019 5:23:31 PM
well done great profile good work on the reviewers I guess. Pof is great but just remember your life doesn't end with pof be you in life and see how life goes online all the same. Good luck..
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