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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!      Home login  
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 CarmenA2212
Joined: 4/17/2018
Msg: 1
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I'm having this issue with a guy now. Even though ive been talking to a guy for weeks on WhatsApp he says hes scared he might get hurt if we meet but he is still actively looking for dates on pof?
I don't understand. A guy telling me hes scared of meeting up because he doesn't want to get hurt, but still actively looking for dates online. It doesn't add up. I'm confused. He messages every day saying he really wants to meet but makes no effort what so ever to fix a date. When pressed earlier in the week he asked if I was free Sunday, I replied after lunchtime but he responded back that he was busy from 2pm onwards.
So today I ask him what the problem is, after 2 weeks of texting and he says hes scared of being hurt, but is on pof all day??
Why put yourself through not only the hassle of looking if you're not ready to meet, and also keeping someone dangling??
Am I being strung along by this guy??
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 2
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 12:56:01 PM
I think you've already answered the question
 CarmenA2212
Joined: 4/17/2018
Msg: 3
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 1:01:52 PM
Hahha I knew that one was coming. I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt. He will always make first contact early in the morning, I only firmly approached the subject today. I'm willing to give up the ghost if he doesn't commit to something by the end of the week.
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 4
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 1:06:46 PM
I do apologize if that sounded harsh, but if you've talked to someone for a few weeks and when you've suggested meeting they defer away from the subject, it's a red flag to me.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 5
He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 1:13:57 PM
Likely isn't who he says he is. Unless you know otherwise?
 CarmenA2212
Joined: 4/17/2018
Msg: 6
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 1:22:36 PM
That's exactly what I've been thinking also. That's where I'm going next. I'm going to suggest he calls me. If he doesn't want to do that then mmmm.
Hes sending pics if him with his daughter though, that would be incredibly weird if it's not actually him and he sending pics of someone else's face and child.
 CarmenA2212
Joined: 4/17/2018
Msg: 7
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 1:24:06 PM
I did find his Facebook account but I guess that still doesn't tell me much!! Slightly worried now !
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 8
He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 1:26:25 PM
It would take a special kind of person to send pics of another guy and his child. I think just be straight to point about phone.

If he says anything except yes and makes excuses. Let the tiddler go . It's safe to say were all scared of getting hurt to an extent.
 CarmenA2212
Joined: 4/17/2018
Msg: 9
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 1:34:27 PM
Well he said yes to talking later on the phone. Will see if it actually happens. Still...not got a good feeling about this one. I just fobt get why someone would even be online dating if they're too scared to get hurt. If its gonna happen anywhere its gonna happen online.
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 10
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 1:38:27 PM
I can understand being scared. I think we ALL are a little bit when it comes to dating. But, if you're on here and you're not 100 % committed to wanting to find someone, you probably shouldn't be on here. Just a recipe for disaster and/or bad feelings.
 CarmenA2212
Joined: 4/17/2018
Msg: 11
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 1:44:04 PM
I agree totally.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 12
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 2:16:45 PM

Am I being strung along by this guy??


Of course not.

He has your best interests at heart.

He is just trying to prepare you for the awkwardness that will ensue in person when you have to reject him.
 CarmenA2212
Joined: 4/17/2018
Msg: 13
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 2:28:50 PM
Haha I suppose that's another way of looking at it.

But then why would you approach someone, exchange numbers, talk for weeks with no intention of meeting because you think they're too good for you and will automatically reject you. I don't for one second think I'm better than him. I'm desperate to meet him because I actually think we might click.

I've said to him, he may not like me in the flesh. Only way we will know is if we meet. Why prolong the agony?
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 14
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 4:19:43 PM
That's just it. People can talk the talk, but when it comes to meeting they get nervous and run. If after 2-3 weeks of talking to someone they aren't interested in meeting or are coming up with different excuses when the conversation is brought up then I get red flags right away. In my opinion, if you've talked to someone every day for 2-3 weeks you know if you have interest, and if you don't, then you should extend the courtesy to tell the other person so they can move on. Otherwise, you're just wasting time
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 15
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/14/2019 6:53:11 PM

I'm desperate to meet him because I actually think we might click.


If you're projecting this, he may sense it. He could be making you jump through hoops. Playing games perhaps or genuinely apprehensive.


I've said to him, he may not like me in the flesh.


I like what I see...
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 16
He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/15/2019 5:16:01 AM
A minute silence for cooldog having a hubba hubba moment
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 17
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/15/2019 6:19:01 AM
^^^ Only a minute? Gotta fap fast...
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 18
He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/15/2019 12:24:44 PM
hahah.

I better get caesar the cooldog whisperer involved
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 19
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/15/2019 4:06:45 PM
I get the opposite thing - women that engage in communication but won't share their phone number to be able to talk properly, and/or will not get serious about meeting up in person. TBH, lots of people (me included) find that distance is a factor in decision making about whether to continue on with a person or not, but normally I won't message someone if I think they're too far and will not want to consider meeting up at some point.

We all know that regardless of how much you might talk via POF messages, or emails, or txts and phone calls, until you meet a person for real nothing is actually 'real'.

Maybe one of the reasons I feel like dating is a worthless pursuit is partly because of the perceived prevalence of people who go 'cold' and just won't commit by either saying a straight 'yes' or 'no'. I actually appreciate people saying a direct 'no' when they decide not to continue. Sure it hurts a bit as you feel side-swiped by fate, but simple 'closure' is good for both parties. You can then move on with clarity.
 CarmenA2212
Joined: 4/17/2018
Msg: 20
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/16/2019 12:04:18 AM
[If you're projecting this, he may sense it. He could be making you jump through hoops. Playing games perhaps or genuinely apprehensive.]

Not me projecting. I'm quite cool about stuff like that. He asked if I wanted to meet then as soon as I said yes, pick a date he started to weird out. He now knows I want to meet, now I find it's me doing the asking and him saying I'll check my rota.

We are still speaking, we spoke on the phone and he reiterated that he is cautious after being messed around a lot and I totally get that. It's not in my nature to do that. Hehas now also suggested meeting next weekend. Fingers crossed!

[I like what I see...]

Lol, I'm flattered. Thank you very much
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 21
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/16/2019 8:34:36 AM
^^^ Thank you for the update and extra details. I guessed wrong.


Lol, I'm flattered. Thank you very much


I'm down for the brown...
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 22
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/16/2019 8:36:43 AM
He's not that into you if he's postponing to next weekend.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 23
He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/16/2019 9:06:48 AM

He's not that into you if he's postponing to next weekend.


I agree. I'd have blanked them already if it was a woman.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 24
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/16/2019 9:21:10 PM

He has now also suggested meeting next weekend.


I wouldn't have waited another week. Are you kidding me? I wonder if he's entertaining other options.
 jerseynative7
Joined: 10/26/2018
Msg: 25
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He talks endlessly on whatsapp but wont commit to a date!
Posted: 3/17/2019 2:51:03 PM
He is playing games and stringing you along. Anyone truly interested in meeting isnt going to wait weeks and make those 'Im so scared' excuses. He is dating around, looking to find someone he likes more. Stop wasting your time.
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