Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Profile Review      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Profile Review Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
What do you think of my profile? Am I too average? I rarely get views other than bots and scammers. Or perhaps women are viewing my profile in hidden mode. I don’t know. This site is just a supplement to real-life dating, but it doesn’t seem like anybody is real here anymore. A few years ago I got a few dates on here.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 2
Profile Review
Posted: 3/16/2019 2:42:16 PM
You lack a full body pic facing forward. I think that would improve things.

Instead of saying what you don't want, concentrate on what you do.

Woman don't give a damn about what you think about chivalry and them asking you out. Why is it even on a profile. If they're confident and like you they will message.

I’m not interested in dating a woman who wants me just because I have a job etc. Think it don't say it. No sh!t Sherlock ;) Lose most of the profile.

Keep Paragraph 1, lose 2, lose 3, lose 4, keep 5, lose 6. Have a real good think how you want to project yourself.

Want views? then view women and they will view you, But keep it to thumbs you like or you'll get the ones you don't want messaging lol.

Last of all you need to chase. I get an ok amount of views sometimes without viewing profiles. But most come reciprocal. Some do hide when viewing. But I don't think it happens as much as we'd like to think :)

Oh make your headline enticing as it's the first thing they see.

All the above meant in the nicest possible way.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/16/2019 3:19:10 PM
Thanks for the advice. I mentioned my views on chivalry because if I do message a woman and she responds, I think she should be aware of that. A relationship won’t work if we have different opinions about that. If a woman contacts me first, I agree it’s not necessary. I do view a lot of women, but very rarely does it show up on my account that a real woman, not a bot, viewed me.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 4
Profile Review
Posted: 3/16/2019 3:44:55 PM
People in General do have manners and especially if trying to impress someone they're interested in. But that is your call how you want to address things. I'd just hold the door on initial dates then later you get to slap that ass going through the door :)

Bots, cam girls message and view me. I leave it 30 mins and they have generally been deleted. I look and see a fit lady I giggle. You know the type. 23 year old old with a 44 year old profile :)
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/17/2019 8:22:48 AM
Headline is negative. Try a positive one. Anyone who tries to use this site knows there are large numbers of scam/spam profiles. Just weed through the fakes and message the real girls you find appealing.

The poster above is correct about the fakes getting deleted quickly. This morning a "50 year old" who looks under 25 sent a "hey there" and has already been removed.

First short paragraph can go. The part about being financially stable will only appeal to the gold diggers you're trying to avoid in later paragraphs. The term "middle age" is usually considered negative, for example the "middle age crisis" in which a small percentage of men buy toy vehicles with oversized engines and chase women half their age. 41 can be considered younger than middle age.

POF profiles make the age prominent, so there's no need to state your age in profile text. In fact, many people who do so don't update their text so it looks bad when their age increases. I've seen many female profiles here and on Tinder in which she says "I'm 41" when here profile age is 43 or more.

The two paragraphs about how women should do the same polite behavior as men, and how you expect an equal relationship, they might weed out those who are trying to mooch free food and drinks. Obviously your photos are what will matter most.

Telling people to message you is bad, and it's even worse to tell them how to message you. You are correct about many women being hypocrites who demand long, detailed, personal messages while they send shallow one word generic garbage. However, there's nothing good about writing that on a profile.

The main thing that stands out in your photos is the drink can. I don't know what that brand is, but would imagine it's useful to those who know what it is, possibly increasing or decreasing your appeal based on what she thinks of that brand. Because it might help with compatibility, I say keep the photo.

Yes, many women view profiles in stealth mode.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/23/2019 9:19:00 AM
Hey guys. I keep getting messages from women who say they admire that I have more confidence in dating now that I’m older, and I have a better idea of what I want in a partner. I’m just letting other guys know what works. Women seem to be attracted to confidence in a man. Only mention positive things in your profile.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/24/2019 1:15:47 PM
First off:
Actually most of your photo's are good and you , especially for your age , are above average. Many girls probably look at you and say "he looks cute(handsome,etc). I would get rid of the second photo though. You aleeady have one black and white and that specific "look" reminds me of serial killer mug shots. It doesn't help so delete it.

Now for the meat: YOUR PROFILE NEEDS TO BE COMPLETELY REDONE. It is negative and worst, it has NOTHING in it that attracts women. All the other posters pretty much summed it up. If you been following the profile rules of "adventurejoe", you would remember I said a good profile should be telling women about yourself and who you are as a person and be mysterious and entertaining at the same time. Add more interests in that section.
You don't really need all that stuff telling a women how they should write first , etc. Since you are most likely initiating first..what is the point of a profile telling what type of gal you want? You made the first move so it is irrelevant, since it is assumed she is WHO you want. Tell a story about how the first date will be. You will send a carriage that was made from a pumpkin, etc. It doesn't matter. Just make her laugh.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/24/2019 2:28:14 PM

You don't really need all that stuff telling a women how they should write first , etc. Since you are most likely initiating first..what is the point of a profile telling what type of gal you want?


Quite a few women are actually messaging me first. If I don’t mention that I don’t believe in traditional dating and chivalry, how can I expect to find a woman with the same views?
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/25/2019 10:16:01 AM

I rarely get views other than bots and scammers.


But then:


Quite a few women are actually messaging me first,


Do you see the inconsistency?
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/25/2019 11:41:09 AM
^^^ That’s because women started messaging me after I wrote that I wasn’t getting any views.. I don’t know the reason for that. Sometimes you just have to wait a while on this site.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/25/2019 3:39:38 PM

Do you see the inconsistency?


That is what I think.
If one is posting in this thread section , I assume they need help.

Obviously, one posting here isn't happy with reply rate or the type replying.

I just checked my inbox and I have 3 women(all attractive) that just wrote me while looking over this thread, probably after seeing I am online, and they don't even seem to care that I am stating I am taken already:

message #1:
"Hi. You sound interesting to explore. If ur interested drop me a note."(I know what exploring she wants to do ;p)

Message#2:
"Okay, kissing is a great interest to have (because a kiss really is the beginning of everything) but astrology? Can we argue about that, or is a belief in the stars a deal-breaker for you?" (already letting me know she wants to make out)

message#3:
"Hi - my name is $%^& & I live in $%^&. Beautiful city especially in the summer (beach, boardwalk, concerts). We are a good match so I figured I’d say “hi”. Your profile was very interesting to read. I am not into games. I am looking for a real man (which you seem to be). Hope to hear from you soon. " (knows a real man when she sees it lol)

Ok..I am not attempting to brag but if OP isn't getting messages like these coming in , trust me, there is room for improvement. Instead of arguing ..perhaps listen?
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/25/2019 3:51:34 PM

Hey, I wanted to say hi. I did read your profile, and did enjoy reading it. It was inspiring to read. You sound like you are looking for a real genuine relationship. I too feel like the older I get the more my confidence has grown, the more I have learned about what I am looking for in a mature relationship. It is important to me to meet a man who whats to get to know me for who I am, and what I am about. A guy who who would like to take the time to learn each others personality’s, likes dislikes etc. I am looking to meet someone who is openminded, laidback, fun, fun-loving, has a sense of humour, (laughter is the best medicine hehe). I know all these values have to go two ways. I want to meet the right man for me, and I want to be the right woman for him. Overall I am looking for my best friend, and partner in crime. I think the best way to get to know someone is face to face in person. I am interested in talking, meeting at some point. If you are interested in chatting, message me back, and we can go from there :).


That’s the message I just got.

adventurejoe, if you don’t have a problem getting messages it might because you’re above average height and have a good job. I’m pretty much average in every way. I don’t get a ton of messages, but I do get some.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/25/2019 4:00:17 PM
^^^You are tall in shape and attractive...I don't see the problem?You also look young for your age which is attractive. I been to Canada..you are above average, trust me.

As I have said many times(wish PIG was here to back me), the more attractive she finds you from your profile, in addition to photo's, the more likely the sexual tension builds, and she will be into you if you met in the real and there is a bit of attraction transferred to real life.. If she is in to you , the more likely she will be "just the way you want her" because women tend to be that way when they are in love. That can include paying her own way.
I like the message you just got, at least she took time to write something. I do hate the "best friend ..partner in crime" line though since it seems common in OLD.

As for more traffic after you edited your profile..that is the norm! In fact, a good thing to do is make a little edit every few days and for some reason you get looked at more. It can be something as a little as adding and deleting an interest.
As a side note..when I was looking, I would delete the astrology as an interest and read it every few days.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/27/2019 9:18:05 PM
Everything the others have said and delete the picture with the beard. It doesn't even look like you.
You are fighting the chivalry portion and I don't know why....it's good advice coming from a woman.
On a side note, I too noticed the inconsistency. Quite a change in less than two weeks.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/28/2019 9:42:54 AM
^^^ Because I believe chivalry is benevolent sexism. It assumes women are weak and need to be taken care of, and puts the responsibility on the man for impressing a woman by how much money he can spend on her. I’d rather see a woman as my equal and know that she’s attracted to my personality and looks, not how much money I spend on her. There are women who think the same way I do - I just got messages from some. I won’t get along with a woman who hasn’t moved beyond the 1950’s in dating, just like you probably wouldn’t get along with a man who wasn’t Christian.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/28/2019 2:18:17 PM
Chivalry doesn't have anything to do with money. You are undecided about children. Suppose you meet a wonderful independent woman. You two get married and have a baby. She's carrying the baby, will you open the door and carry her purse for her then?
Sheesh. No wonder so many people are still single.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/28/2019 4:13:10 PM
^^^ I’ve seen fathers carrying their kids. It’s also possible that I will be carrying the baby. Will she open the door for me? Sheesh. Chivalry does assume that women are the weaker sex and need more help than men. I don’t believe that. When it’s assumed that men should be the only ones to do certain things - ask women out, plan dates, pay for the first few dates, etc., then dating becomes unequal. This forum is not about trying to change somebody’s beliefs or values - forcing them to accept something they don’t believe in. If you give me advice on how my profile is put together, such as my pics, headline, grammar, do I say too much about what I don’t want, etc., I will accept that.
Btw, are you single? You’re on a dating site.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/28/2019 4:46:18 PM
Profile Review


Chivalry does assume that women are the weaker sex and need more help than men.


That is true. Just look at the women recruits in the Police academy or Fire academy.



When it’s assumed that men should be the only ones to do certain things - ask women out, plan dates, pay for the first few dates, etc., then dating becomes unequal.

Dating is unequal NO mater what. Supply and demand will make it unequal. That being said, your opinion on that is similar to many of the opinions of ultra feminist women which is also flawed. All of you somehow think things are suppose to be equal and inequality is injustice. Boo frackin hoo.
Nothing in life is equal, and not being equal doesn't make anyone less than the other. I mean, who wants their equal? You might as well be in a relationship with yourself if you want equality. I prefer we all bring different things to the table. This is how most partnerships are. Also you WILL NEVER be equal when it comes to child care. You are pretending if you think so. Women have a biological drive that influences them. Believe it or not part of men protecting the family is based on Chivalry, otherwise men would go from girl to girl impregnating different women, as nature intended. So don't know cultural influences.

This forum is not about trying to change somebody’s beliefs or values - forcing them to accept something they don’t believe in.
Spend more time in OFF TOPIC and you might think otherwise.


If you give me advice on how my profile is put together, such as my pics, headline, grammar, do I say too much about what I don’t want, etc., I will accept that.

No you will accept what you are given. When you make a thread post you open yourself to everything , including criticism. It is up to you if you follow the advice though.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/28/2019 6:01:50 PM
^^^ I agree that men and women are different in many ways - a man can’t give birth to a baby and men are the stronger sex. The sexes are different in some ways, but we also have much in common - that’s where your argument is flawed. There are still many things both men and women are capable of doing equally well. Both can pay for dates, both can plan and initiate dates and both can open doors. We’re not talking about men being mothers or women being expected to perform physical jobs as well as men. Just because a woman identifies as a feminist, doesn’t men she doesn’t mean that she thinks equality applies to dating. I have a date tomorrow night with a cute Irish brunette. I don’t mind paying for her pint of Guinness, but other than that I think it’s best to split the bill.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/29/2019 10:01:23 AM

I’d rather see a woman as my equal and know that she’s attracted to my personality and looks, not how much money I spend on her.


Good luck on that fella. They're a rare breed. Remember you get to look into Woman's mind on here where out there you have to guess. Do you really think they're all that different? No hence profile stance ;)

I had a Woman whom I used to date 2 years back message me today saying congratulations on being self employed haha. The funny thing is I know she is money motivated. I have blanked her completely as I wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire :)

Fire is way to good for this low life specimen.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/29/2019 12:02:37 PM
You are competing against men who understand what women want. Good luck, you're gonna need it.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/29/2019 12:10:02 PM
^^^ I see you live in Berkeley, California. Sorry to say, but people in Cal are kind of shallow when it comes to money, social status and dating. I’ve been there a few times. Canadian women are more down to earth. I thought women want equality - at least that’s what the feminists say. Men do compete against each other, but we also help each other out quite a bit.

Yeah, some women often lack the foresight to see a man’s potential. Wealth can be gained and lost. Who cares if a woman only looks at what a man has to offer her here and now? If she rejected a guy who because he didn’t have money before, but now he does, she missed her chance.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/29/2019 12:49:25 PM


Yeah, some women often lack the foresight to see a man’s potential. Wealth can be gained and lost. Who cares if a woman only looks at what a man has to offer her here and now? If she rejected a guy who because he didn’t have money before, but now he does, she missed her chance.


Many a man play pauper nowadays. The thing is you have to be careful not to lump all women into one group. It's so easy. This is where offline dating getting to know people first hand matters through being friends doing activities leading to dating.

You get to know the woman first hand to the extent she impresses you enough that you wanna hump her forever and take care of her as she does you.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/29/2019 12:53:46 PM
^^ Online when chatting. They can talk any sh!t to you. But that goes both ways
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Profile Review
Posted: 3/29/2019 1:23:20 PM
^^^ Yeah, I know women are not all the same, and not all of them want the same thing. The irony is that this Strawberry Jello lady wants me to believe all women are alike. The law of attraction says that if you’re confident and really believe you can find the kind of relationship you desire, there’s a good chance you will succeed. Negativity and thinking no woman will want a man just for who he is as a person will just cause bitterness and failure.
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Profile Review