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 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 1
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Send someone a 2nd message ?? I keep hearing that it's a big no-no to send 2nd messages, but I'm seeing the same people on my feeds day in and day out that I already messaged and did not hear from. Just wondering if it's a bad thing, or it's it's consider acceptable to send a 2nd message ??
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 2
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/26/2019 10:15:31 AM
What have you got to lose OP?

I think a 2nd message is OK.

Now, third, fourth, fifth, sixth unanswered messages, No.Just No<<<

Good Luck, OP~
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 3
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/26/2019 10:31:41 AM
I'd go for it if said lady really takes your fancy, but do expect the same scenario as previously encountered as they did read your first message and didn't respond.
 Inner_circle
Joined: 7/11/2015
Msg: 4
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/26/2019 11:16:40 AM
There is no real harm in sending another email...it is just an e-mail after all.

99.9% of second emails to myself, I don't really want, but I have had someone email me a second time and I did give him a stronger second look as a result. He didn't mention this was hos second attempt ( knew it anyways), he just wrote different things then what he wrote the first time.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 5
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/26/2019 11:58:30 AM
I do not bother sending second messages, unless i receive a response to the first message. If I receive first message i will most often respond. It seems extremely inconsiderate to do otherwise. It is a rarity that I don't.
I delete all messages that receive no response after about a month, even in the event, we have exchanged a few messages..They will still appear in contacts and can see message history. Choosing the members, who are are in "likely to respond" category, indicates those people who have good response ratio.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 6
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/26/2019 12:05:21 PM

Choosing the members, who are are in "likely to respond" category, indicates those people who have good response ratio.


They talk the talk but do they walk the walk? Unlikely. But on saying that it could be :

guy: hi
girl: hello
guy:****pic lol

maybe that's why they respond. They love a tiny spunk trumpet :roll:
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 7
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/26/2019 1:16:34 PM
I find it funny you say that, because almost anyone I saw on the will respond section that I was interested in NEVER replied LOL....and it seems like the ones that I thought I had common interests in are wayyy down on my Top Matches, yet someone I didn't feel as much of a spark with but wanted to know better always seems to be at the top of my Top Matches list......interesting tho :)
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 8
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/26/2019 3:07:40 PM
The problem is most people are waiting for the next best perfect thing to come along, and none of us are perfect.

I read a profile heading the other night:

Don't judge a book by its cover. The first part of this woman's profile said. If I don't reply then you aren't what I'm looking for. It gave me a chuckle.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 9
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/26/2019 6:50:54 PM
Before you do that, go check on the frequency of them coming online. If they aren't getting online, then it's just a waste of time to message them- at all.
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 10
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/26/2019 7:21:54 PM
I actually will only message someone if I see they are online or active within the past 24 hours......but agreed sometimes these profiles are inactive.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 11
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/27/2019 12:46:03 PM

Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to..... Send someone a 2nd message ??

Yes. The appropriate time is 1 hour. And a 3rd message 1 hour after that. Get ruder and ruder each time! It helps speed up at least some type of reply! ;)

I'm seeing the same people on my feeds day in and day out that I already messaged and did not hear from.

Chances are extremely high that they at least briefly came across your message -- and are Not Interested. It doesn't mean they wouldn't under any circumstances consider going out on a date with you, but this is a different environment. Gals get tons o messages. It's a nice ego boost, and, well, they can be talking to enough guys or in a certain mindset due to it being "online" (which naturally makes them more picky) -- where it'd take More than just a guy in-real-life they'd be willing to give their # to, to reply to on here.

it's it's consider acceptable to send a 2nd message ??

It can't hurt. But I would wait a month, at least for most effectiveness -- where you writing them isn't at all fresh in their memory. I really wouldn't put much time & energy into it. Do it enough, one will stick -- well, "stick" enough in terms of a reply, but usually that's about it.

Don't get stuck on a particular girl you you wrote but didn't respond. Never.

Use the "Set it and forget it" approach. Write a girl, and move on. Don't expect a reply. Only care if/when you do get a reply.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 12
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/27/2019 10:08:33 PM
I don't search at all lately (although I took a look see tonight) but the few times I sent a message to someone, I immediately put it out of my mind. I have no record of the message so am not bothered at all if I get no response. If I sent a 2nd message, it would be by mistake. No response IS a response as far as I'm concerned, although I do thank men who message me. I just wish they didn't feel it necessary to message back when I've pointed out the distance or religious issues as a reason I simply wish them the best.
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 13
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/28/2019 7:50:01 AM
See....to me replying and saying something should be a given, even if it is a polite but firm "Sorry, not interested'....just shows respect to the person who took the time to write you. But, I would say the number of people who will actually do that is about 1 in 100, and maybe worse
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 14
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/28/2019 8:53:22 AM
Pof is a waste of time for most men. To be fair if most men just avoided the place and looked away from here. You'd be a lot happier.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 15
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/28/2019 9:38:21 AM

Pof is a waste of time for most men


Well, how would women meet men on POF because it happens.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 16
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Posted: 3/28/2019 10:59:10 AM
^^Did I say all? No I said most.

Joey. Have you ever noticed it is only females that say no answer is an answer :)
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 17
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/28/2019 12:17:54 PM

just shows respect to the person who took the time to write you.


Respect is indeed in short supply on dating websites.

Including self-respect.


Well, how would women meet men on POF because it happens.


And I really enjoy reading the entertaining disaster stories.

Among the best entertainment values in town.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 18
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/29/2019 9:05:07 AM


Yes. The appropriate time is 1 hour. And a 3rd message 1 hour after that. Get ruder and ruder each time! It helps speed up at least some type of reply! ;)
too funny now i feel like it is norwegian guy. it has been awhile! but there you are
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 19
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/29/2019 9:34:13 AM
the style of the msg, determines appropriateness more than the timing. even with the best timing, asking her why she didn't respond, what's wrong with you, what's wrong with her, et cetera....well, you get the idea.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 20
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/29/2019 1:53:18 PM

Well, how would women meet men on POF because it happens.

That doesn't mean it's a waste of time for All men. But it is for a large majority. Many women don't (want to) follow-thru and meet men, and the # of women is Far Less than # of guys, too. And it's not an "any gal will do" sort of thing, and vice-versa. Plus, online is much more picky for a gal than IRL with someone you happen to be mingling with. People can end up meeting on a website, but the website can still be a waste of time for a particular demographic.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 21
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/29/2019 3:40:32 PM
I just hate to see so many men get so frustrated when they don't get a date, and I look at said men and see nothing wrong in my eyes at all with them. But some men don't realise that blasting out loads messages to get no reply can be very damaging to the ego.

IRL(out n about) , You get a knock back you go lick your wounds then have a go another time. On here many men don't look after themselves that way mentally which I find quite reckless.
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 22
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/29/2019 4:35:49 PM
Just like applying for jobs, if you make contact with someone and receive absolutely no response I'd say by all means send another one (a short 'hi just seeing if you had time to read my message and get back to me' thing), and if you don't get a reply to that, or the person blocks you, or the person comes back with a negative reply, just write that person off and move on.

99.9 percent of contacts made through dating sites generate no response. Either the person does look at the message and perhaps also looks at your profile and isn't inspired enough to immediately reply, or they don't like the message and/or profile and simply don't reply.

Of the 0.01 percent who do reply, almost all of those are various versions of 'no'.

This is a horrid stat, but I reckon for every thousand genuine hello messages I would send, I'd get 10 or less positive responses, and out of those I'd be lucky to get 1 person who positively engages in an ongoing manner. So those two women I mentioned in the other thread that I broke up with yesterday are an exception as that almost never ever happens to have two 'at the time' positive contacts at the same time.

So often it's best to stop trying to date completely and that means stop using sites like this 'actively' and just focus on yourself, since if you are positive in yourself that's going to be a much better 'attractor' of other positive souls that any dating site will ever be. Unfortunately for most of us that is incredibly difficult to do because we feel 'empty' but that just means we have all forgotten how to happy with ourselves alone.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 23
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/29/2019 10:04:08 PM

Joey. Have you ever noticed it is only females that say no answer is an answer :)


Not true as I have read posts by men who say the same however what I said was that no response to a message I'VE sent is a response but that I reply to those who message me. Not sure how I offended you here.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 24
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/30/2019 4:13:51 PM
Dating can get the best of you-in general. It's worse doing OLD, but I can't say it's any better IRL.

It can make you a basket case, plain and simple. --IF-- you let it. Plenty can't fathom the idea of making their way in the world alone. You're better off thinking that you are alone, and nobody will come along to change that. You can't get "Knocked back" if you aren't looking at all. Women, (and men) aren't huge disappointments when you expect nothing from them. It's best to maintain what you have. Be satisfied with what you are.

And, don't let it eat at you.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 25
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Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....
Posted: 3/30/2019 5:52:51 PM

Not sure how I offended you here.


Not offended at all. I've just never seen a man say that, and only women.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Is there ever APPROPRIATE timing to.....