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 Stuartcorn
Joined: 7/5/2013
Msg: 1
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking tooPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Hi,

I've always had a lot of mixed experiences with online dating, where I live every time I go on after a break I see the same old faces, but recently on one app, I met a lady and we seemed to hit it off really quickly with similar interests. We shared numbers and are now talking on Whatsapp. She's one who likes to share photos, so I've received a few of her, her and her daughter and her pets, etc. I think this is kinda cute and it's nice she was being open with me.

Then last night she sent me a shot which was lowlight taken in her bedroom or something and she was topless. Judging by her other pictures it wasn't a recent one, but I was surprised to receive an image like that. Later it turned out that was the safer one compared to another one she thought about sending.

Up to that point of receiving the image I was thinking this is going great, but as soon as I saw that image, my confidence dropped and thoughts of who else is she sharing this with, why did she send it when we had not met yet. I'm starting to feel paranoid that all is not what it seems and I want to believe I'm wrong in this.

What are other peoples experiences where this is happened, am I being an idiot, should I just go with the flow and appreciate this or should I make my excuses and leave her to it?

Help from a very confused person.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 2
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 3/31/2019 11:09:08 AM
OP, no one has ever sent me nude type pics, so cannot share my experiences.
She may or may not be sharing these pictures with other people<<<

But<<< the one thing you do know about her now is that she's not shy about trotting 'the girlz' out~
That's all.
Could be she just likes to take 'artsy' type pics~
 Stuartcorn
Joined: 7/5/2013
Msg: 3
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 3/31/2019 11:11:40 AM
Thanks for replying, I obviously can't post the image here, but it's more a come to bed type pose than an artsy one.
Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 3/31/2019 11:17:22 AM
I'm sure you've heard the adage "don't look a gift horse in the mouth", right? Well, apply that here.

And no, you are NOT the first guy she has sent provocative pictures to, and you won't be the last.
 Stuartcorn
Joined: 7/5/2013
Msg: 5
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 3/31/2019 11:19:46 AM
I have heard of it, but ha ha what worries me is your last part, if I got together with her, would she still send them to men ha ha
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 6
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 3/31/2019 11:24:18 AM
Sounds like she's good for a shag, but not much else...
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 7
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 3/31/2019 11:24:44 AM
It could depends on a lot of things. If she is easy with other fella's when you're an item.
Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 3/31/2019 11:24:51 AM
Well, after "getting together", I wouldn't expect a relationship to instantly blossom. So, with that said, yes, she will very likely still send them to other men since she's not confined to the "rules" of a committed relationship.

Remember, any woman worth having has other guys knocking at her door.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 9
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*to
Posted: 3/31/2019 11:42:43 AM
A few thoughts -

Nothing is real until you meet.
If she sent you "risque" photos before you met then yes, she has probably shared those sorts of photos in the past.
They are just boobs. Mine are on full display at the private beach I go to. /shrug/
If you didn't ask for the photo and/or are uncomfortable with the photo heed your gut. You are probably different in other ways too.
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 10
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 3/31/2019 1:10:52 PM
The picture she sent you sounds quite tame to the one she sent me the other day.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 11
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 3/31/2019 1:38:02 PM
.
.
... She's a f*uckin' loser, hook up with her & they'll be two ...
... heart / sleazebag / sun ...
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 3/1/2019
Msg: 12
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/1/2019 8:39:25 AM

The picture she sent you sounds quite tame to the one she sent me the other day.

Lol

If you’re uncomfortable with it OP, you could always ask her about it.
May be she was trying to tantalise you with boobage.
If it’s had the opposite effect then tell her.


Personally I’d never do anything so indecorous (shh guys lol)

Seriously, some people have no qualms about nudity or passing on pics.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 13
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/1/2019 10:12:31 AM
she hasn't met you, but she loves to send pictures. she's apparently visually oriented, and that can translate into the type of relationship she wants. OR she really likes attention and showing off.

the solution to this is....don't risk anything you can't afford to lose, and ask yourself what is left to lose? you probably won't want to be taking her down the altar, but was that your goal anyway?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 14
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/1/2019 3:17:42 PM

I met a lady and we seemed to hit it off really quickly with similar interests. We shared numbers and are now talking on Whatsapp.

A gal suggesting to go on Whatsapp, especially when you already have their # -- usually leads me to getting nude photos. They don't want them on their phone company log.

She's one who likes to share photos, so I've received a few of her, her and her daughter and her pets, etc.

Kinky! This lady don't mess around...

OP, no one has ever sent me nude type pics, so cannot share my experiences.

I suggest you tell a guy you want to communicate with Whatsapp instead. Adding in that you expect to have sex with him if you go out on a date. At that point, it should increase the chances that certain photos of himself will "stick out" right at ya. ;) Okay, back to what the OP was saying...

Then last night she sent me a shot which was lowlight taken in her bedroom or something and she was topless.
..... Later it turned out that was the safer one compared to another one she thought about sending.

She sent you a lowlight topless photo and heeded sending you a full nude in bright lights. OK.

Up to that point of receiving the image I was thinking this is going great, but as soon as I saw that image, my confidence dropped and thoughts of who else is she sharing this with, why did she send it when we had not met yet.

I dunno. If a girl sends me a topless pic, I tend to think things are still going great. :)

I'm starting to feel paranoid that all is not what it seems and I want to believe I'm wrong in this.

In all seriousness, IMO, you're getting way too overworked about this. I can understand an eyebrow raising, sure.

But say she sent you a sexy bikini pic. Okay. Does that Have to only go to you Ever? Would it feel weird that other guys saw it before -- this tasty bikini pic on the beach that wasn't in her profile? Would you feel "unspecial"? Weirded out that you haven't even met yet? Your scenario was a small step up from that.

Just like you saying "I met a lady" -- even though you Didn't Actually meet her yet -- so goes others' feelings they "met" them, and will feel comfortable sending a PG-13/barely-R rated pic. If you talk a good amount with a gal and you "hit it off" texting/chatting, some will want to send you some pics that make them look hot. Some even a little nude.

My experiences getting them? Usually they couldn't meet anytime real soon due to schedule conflicts, and/or they didn't leave nearby. Usually some sexy photos that make them look good when going out on the town -- and a suggestion that they have more that may not be so appropriate to send, where I follow with a "No, send them -- don't worry! You're beautiful!" and they follow-thru.

In your case, she's sending you tons o pics, and she includes a semi-naughty one. Chill out. :) Especially in England, they don't take toplessness as seriously as here in the USA. I would have said, with your POV turned off by it, "Oh wow -- you look great. But we didn't even meet in person yet. I could be an 80 year old man, ya know! ;)" and she'd back off a bit from sending any more.
 Carrolllll5858
Joined: 3/14/2016
Msg: 15
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/3/2019 7:46:10 PM
Have you asked her what she is looking for? I can understand how you feel about her topless picture being old because yeah chances are she sent that to other guys, that’s why I try using Snapchat so I know the picture could be fresh 😁

But in all seriousness I would ask what she is looking for, keep going along with it and go on a date and see what happens.
 sparkyn98p2
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 16
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/4/2019 5:11:32 AM
I guess I'm old fashioned. Or maybe it's the fact I'm a mom. I would NEVER send someone a photo that I didn't personally know. And beyond that... personally know they would never share it. I would hate for my boys to ever have to be like, "Yup. There's my mom's boobs on FB because her BF got pissed." I know it sounds dramatic. I consider myself lucky it wasn't the age of technology when I was in my 20s!

Now, I have had friends who have gotten nudes quickly like that and then had comments like, "I'm only 16. Is this cool" and you know it's a scam. I'd think since this lady is sending you pics of kids, etc. She's not a scammer.

I understand I may seem more prudish. Personally, I feel like people who share nudes without invitation are either a: very proud of their stuff or b: very insecure about their personality so they're throwing their goods out there to entice you.

I'm with the other posters that say, Don't worry about it too much and if it makes you uncomfortable, do as norwegianguy says and make a light joke to turn off the pics before you're ready.

Good luck!!
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 17
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/4/2019 8:46:47 AM
I'm a mom too and I would not be too embarrassed if my boobs showed up on the internet. I breastfed all 3 kids and I actually posted a pic once of me breastfeeding on Facebook for breastfeeding awareness week (along with about 20 other people on my Facebook feed, lol, as it was a group movement). That pic is still actually online. I would be embarrassed if it showed the below waist parts. To do that I would not show my face in a pic and definitely not send it to someone I haven't met. I have sent boob pics before but only when I've talked online video chatting to someone a bit. I work as a nursing assistant so body parts definitely don't embarass me. And when I send a risque pic I send nothing that anyone could blackmail me with.

I would really not worry OP about the pic. Maybe she did take it a while back and really liked it and is proud of it. I still have certain pics saved on my phone in an encrypted secure fingerprint-protected folder that I pull out occasionally. Sometimes it take forever and several shots to get a photo that is just right.
 Jay6598
Joined: 3/30/2019
Msg: 18
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/4/2019 6:32:09 PM
Well I'm old-fashioned too Sparky....and I'm a Mom...of boys.
If you were my kid, I'd say, What do you want from all your efforts to date online? Some rolls in the hay or a relationship?

If you want a roll in the hay, there she is, inviting you. Use your best judgement, there are some real whacky people out there and God knows where they've been and with who?
If you want a relationship, I'd say pass this one on by. Yes, she sends that photo to all she can, is my opinion. It takes some kinda nerve either bad or good? to send a stranger a topless photo, that's one party girl right there!
And like Sparky, I would NEVER send a part nude/nude photo to someone I've never met, and at my age, it may never come again! Or maybe with some extra-double-low-low lights.....
 sparkyn98p2
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 19
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/5/2019 6:42:55 AM
Exactly, Jay! I'm not embarrassed about my body or body parts. I was in drama for 4 years in high school and changed costumes back stage. I was in the military and had to "share bathrooms" in many cases. I'm not shy or bashful.
Imho, I just think if you WANT respect from a SO, you should act respectful.
Like you, it takes a VERY subtle lighting (at my age) to be attractive anymore! Lolol

And that's exactly my point as a mother of boys. If I want them to treat women with respect, I have to show them what my version of respectful is. I think R Kelly says it best "I want a lady on the streets and a freak in the bed". LOLOL

I am IN NO WAY condemning breast feeding in public!!
I just think breast feeding is a LOT different than some "random" posting a pic of MY boobs online.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 20
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/5/2019 8:41:23 AM

If I want them to treat women with respect, I have to show them what my version of respectful is. I think R Kelly says it best "I want a lady on the streets and a freak in the bed".


You mean the guy arrested for abusing women and allegedly having sex with underage girls?

Odd choice for a quote about respect.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 21
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/5/2019 8:59:26 AM
I get what you are saying but I find it ironic that you are quoting a song by a creeper like R Kelly.

The old me would have never been one to send naked pics but the new me kind of wants to be a little bit more wild. My actual life is so tame that sometimes talking with some random guy on POF it feels like so much fun to be a little risque. Its kind of sexually exciting and it kind of boosts my confidence because I like having a guy like my body. I understand the risks involved but I'm pretty careful about who I talk to and what I send.

Regarding guys being put off by a girl sending pics or crossing her off a list of potential women to have a relationship with, I think it can go either way. Depends completely on the guy. It usually is good bate to get them to bite the hook. And I've only ever showed pics to 5 guys so its not as if I'm a photo whore. This is very comparable to the debate about sleeping with a guy on the first date. There are a hell of a lot of committed couples I've met or talked to online who did sleep with each other on the first or second date.
 Noftheborder
Joined: 10/4/2018
Msg: 22
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/5/2019 9:48:52 AM
How, oh how, did people ever get into relationships pre internet camming and sending pics to random strangers? At what point do you become the monkey in the zoo? I doubt it does much for the monkey's "self-confidence" - they too are just something to look at before the observer moves on to the next attraction.
 Scribblerdiddler
Joined: 2/28/2019
Msg: 23
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/5/2019 3:56:44 PM
I just think don't think it's very classy to send that type of photo. Depends on what your hopes are for the relationship but if you are wanting a woman long term and for keeps then I'd have doubts about her morals or judgement or both. She might see it as harmless fun and a dangly carrot. We're all different and she may not think it's a big deal. Personally speaking. though, it would put me off someone. I believe there's a time and place for all that and it just cheapens the whole thing and strikes a discordant note that may be a warning bell ... the two of you might be in different libraries rather than being on the same page!
I'm not judging because I don't know her if I was you I'd start asking questions either silently or out loud about what you want from this.
 Million_Reasons
Joined: 10/23/2018
Msg: 24
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/5/2019 5:06:03 PM
Anyone else curious to know if the Op went for it or not?


Come on, Op! Give us an update! :D
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 25
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Advice needed on a lady I'm talking too
Posted: 4/5/2019 5:11:09 PM

Anyone else curious to know if the Op went for it or not?


It would be rude not to go have a
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