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 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 1
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She used a gift card to pay for her mealPage 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
The other night, I was out on a date. She suggested meeting, and I suggested to go for coffee. Then she mentions we can meet at this restaurant, which I agree to. When the bill comes she immediately tells the waitress we’re going to split it. Then she takes out a $20.00 gift card that she said her friend gave her. I’m sure she chose that place because she wanted to get a discount. What should I think of this? If a man had done the same, asked somebody out and then split the bill while using a gift card to pay for his own meal, he’d be called a cheapskate. She said she would like to go out with me again, and says she would like to pursue a friendship with me. The friendship part is ambiguous because it could mean the friend zone or it could mean friends within a relationship. If it was a platonic friendship why would she want to keep dating me? I asked her if she had any luck on POF, and she said most of the guys she met were immature- one of them offered to buy her a drink and then wanted his money back when she didn’t want to see him anymore.
 Million_Reasons
Joined: 10/23/2018
Msg: 2
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 3/31/2019 6:19:58 PM
Sounds like you met the woman of your dreams!

Go for it! Ask her out again and this time bring your gift card!

Best of luck! :)
She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 3/31/2019 6:25:45 PM

and says she would like to pursue a friendship with me.


This is not a good sign. Did you say or do anything flirtatious the entire night? If not, that's where you f*cked up. Put the squeaky clean gentleman to rest on dates, but don't be a creep. You have to show interest

As for men using a coupon, do it. If she doesn't like it, NEXT...
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 4
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 3/31/2019 6:36:46 PM

This is not a good sign. Did you say or do anything flirtatious the entire night? If not, that's where you f*cked up. Put the squeaky clean gentleman to rest on dates, but don't be a creep. You have to show interest


Hell no! She seemed kind of shy, and I didn’t want to freak her out. I walked her home and then said good night. It turns out she lives in the building next to me - small world.
She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 3/31/2019 6:45:56 PM
Ok. Did the two of you agree this was a "date" and not a friendly meeting? If so, then you are in a position to *treat* it like a date, which entails creating attraction. Your "not wanting to freak her out" indicates fear on your part. Fearful is not what you want to be.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 6
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 3/31/2019 7:20:43 PM
^^^ It was a first meet to get to know the person like any other first meet. The place we chose was a bit pricey (for me anyway, I didn’t have a coupon) but I thought it was ok because sometimes you gotta enjoy life a bit - and here people are calling me cheap. The only way I knew how to flirt is too smile and make eye contact. It’s too early to slap a woman’s ass on a first meet.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 7
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 3/31/2019 7:26:18 PM
^^ Could put your arm out to link it and sneak a cheeky peck ;)
She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 3/31/2019 7:30:45 PM

and here people are calling me cheap.


Here? As in the forums? People who have been here years on end and not been on a date since the Clinton administration? Who cares what they think?


The only way I knew how to flirt is too smile and make eye contact. It’s too early to slap a woman’s ass on a first meet.


Words, my friend. Words. They are powerful tools. I've also never had a woman tell me she was interested in pursuing a "friendship" after a first meet, and that's because I put my intention out there. Do not apologize for or be reluctant to express your desires.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 9
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 3/31/2019 7:33:38 PM
^^ A saying my Mother always told me.#

Faint heart never won fair lady
She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 3/31/2019 7:39:20 PM
Exactly, and as I've said here countless times before - if you analyze the conversation you had with a woman on a date and you could have very well had it with your mother, the woman's attraction level will be close to zero.

In addition, let's say you make a move or say something flirtatious and she doesn't seem receptive. Do. Not. Apologize.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 11
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 6:45:48 AM

and says she would like to pursue a friendship with me.

RUN. Friend? "You are not becoming friends with women you meet to explore romance"..repeat after me! What ever those witches are selling you are not buying..don't let em put a spell on you.



Here? As in the forums? People who have been here years on end and not been on a date since the Clinton administration? Who cares what they think?

Bit of untruth there...more like the Nixon administration. It isn't that they can't get dates though. They have a better chance than anyone else. It is a matter of science. An object at rest tends to stay at rest. Analogy implying that women get comfortable as things are, and often can't take the change that going out with men and getting in relations will bring. Men can also have that issue. That unbalance force that attempts to move them will get resistance.

Using a coupon or diners card( they used to be popular where I could go to select restaurants and get 20% off) is maybe thrifty and/or frugal..it isn't cheap. Frugal is good. Most self made millionaires are frugal(read millionaire next door) that is why they are wealthy. Only an idiot pays more for something they could have gotten for less if time isn't an issue. If a girl considers that cheap..RUN. How do you think life will be when you have a joint bank account?( which you shouldn't get).
As for gift cards, they are similar as using cash in a place so it can be a good idea. Usually chain places have them and you can buy them 10%-20% off and earn points on your credit card so why not.



In fact, your "meeting" isn't really a date if it is a first meeting, since dating is going out with someone to explore romance. Romance requires attraction. These 1st "meets" are basically just to see if we are dating material for each other and if there is attraction.

Those women on here that complain about cheapskates all the time often just want their cake and eat it too. They always say they owe a guy nothing but think that a guy owes them a free meal for them showing up .If she says an ideology that sounds feminist, or BS about being equal....then you show her the check so she can pay an EQUAL share!



That being said you can avoid all this garbage by just going out for a drink or 2. Drinks are better for flirting and touching anyway.Don't eat with women you don't know. Heck, would you wanna spend time eating a long meal with myself or Pig as friends even?
Just meet and flirt and leave the "friendliness" home.

Another flaw with the split bill thingy is if you ask a girl out to a nice place , she may not be able to afford it! People have different obligations, and unless your friends for some time with someone, you can't be aware of it , so its best you lead the way , pick a place , and even PAY..on your terms though.
I fear your goal of finding equality can mess up your dates though since many will friend zone you. Despite what women say..they mostly are attracted to men who lead and run the show. It is a deep seated attraction, and all the PC liberal nonsense in the world won't change that. Yet anyhow!
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 3/1/2019
Msg: 12
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 8:14:53 AM
Great on the date!
She sounds cautious and may be a bit shy.
This could be why she refers to it as friendship.
I know the guys get their knickers in a twist over this word but don’t we all want to be real friends with our partner.
Both good things.
The guys are right though you may need to lead, but gently.

ETA....she used a coupon? I love her already lol
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 13
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she used a coupon, but i hoped to get my grope-on
Posted: 4/1/2019 10:00:24 AM
sometimes we let our ego, or a desire to be right, get in the way of an opportunity. in this scenario, the real question to answer before going forward is...

do you have a better opportunity than this?

(warren buffet actually uses this to determine investments)

you have a friend who won't stick you with the bill. if you two go someplace public, she's social proof to other women you aren't a creep who scares women away. she may become your new wingman.

but if you can already get a date, then yeah...this is low hanging fruit.
 jerseynative7
Joined: 10/26/2018
Msg: 14
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 10:03:05 AM
I have to agree with the fellas here. If she says she wants to pursue a friendship with you, that means she isnt dating you or interested in you romantically. I dont see anything wrong with her using a gift card to pay her share as she prolly didnt consider it a 'date'. If youre looking for a girlfriend, she isnt it.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 15
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 10:32:12 AM
I would let it go, except she says this in her profile.


I would like to meet a guy who understands the importance of getting to know the other person’s personality, dislikes, common, what one another is looking for in a relationship, before jumping into a relationship right off the bat.


It’s seems she might consider me future relationship material. This seems to be something that women are more likely to do. They got out of a bad relationship and they want to take things slow. If we’re just friends then I don’t see why I can’t date other women.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 16
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 11:10:17 AM
I don't see a problem using coupons or giftcards?
Also, no to someone wanting to be friends.
That's like the booby prize...you don't get to date them, but you get to hang out with them, and
maybe someday they'll like you enough to offer a date, but maybe not, and who the heck needs that?

I'm friends with everyone I hang around with, but I've yet to say to anyone "let's be friends." We just
hang out and then we are.

Friends first is lame as well. What does that even mean? How can you be friends second or third?
People make stuff too complicated.

And yeah, if you're interested in someone...let them know by telling them. Don't leave them guessing
and trying to analyze your movements.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 17
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 11:15:28 AM

you don't get to date them, but you get to hang out with them, and
maybe someday they'll like you enough to offer a date, but maybe not, and who the heck needs that?


I'd ask the straight question. Are we looking at being romantic or not.

Fk settling for being an emotional tampon of hers...
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 18
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 11:30:54 AM
Nothing wrong with wanting to start out as friends, and see what develops. As for the coupon, so, she's thrifty- and self-reliant- she didn't expect you to pay. I say go for a second date.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 19
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 1:19:59 PM

maybe someday they'll like you enough to offer a date, but maybe not, and who the heck needs that?

I'm friends with everyone I hang around with, but I've yet to say to anyone "let's be friends." We just
hang out and then we are.


Thank you an honest women here!

Chris Rock said D@#$ in a jar..that about sums it up.


Nothing wrong with wanting to start out as friends, and see what develops.

A lot wrong with it since the whole time the guy has "interest" invested in it , while the women doesn't. Sure sometimes it works out but usually when friends start dating it is either because "feelings developed" that were never thought about or there is unresolved sexual tension. But when a women just sees a guy as a friend whom she knows wanted her, there is probably not much sexual tension..unless it was just bad timing(had a boyfriend at the time).
Besides there would be nothing natural about that friendship. Guys usually "do things" with others guys. Talking comes with it but it isn't the main course while women friendships tend to be (no offense) a lot of chatting. Wasting his time developing a friendship where he becomes an ear for a chatty/gossiper ROBS him from time he could be doing other things to get a women. Hanging with single male friends for example! He should ask her the Adventurejoe TEST :What do you have to offer that make you a good friend?"..I bet she won't have an answer. It is sad that men(beta men usually) don't qualify their women they make friendships with but obviously qualify their male friendships. We aren't just friends with anybody. As Brown said... one doesn't havve to state verbally "lets be friends" lol
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 3/1/2019
Msg: 20
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 1:38:17 PM
I’m trying to think of a scenario where I’d meet a man for the very first time and hear the word friendship and think ‘fvck this shit!’ I’m no one’s mug! I’m outta hear!’.....so negative
I may draw some conclusions of my own about what he could mean but I’d definitely require more clarity before jumping on that.

I’m a woman and I’m honest Joe, always....don’t appreciate your bullshit put down, that’s how I’ve interpreted what you said. Am I right or wrong on that.


vvvv.....lol, the devils in the detail :)
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 21
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 1:44:45 PM
First you said she used a gift card then you said she got a discount and then you inferred she had a coupon. Which is it? Those are three separate things. All are handled differently in a retail transaction. I just appreciate accuracy when I am being asked for my input regarding a situation. *shrug*

As far as you comment about caring if a man used a gift card - I would not care. I don't care how he pays for his, mine or our meal/drinks/whatever.

We have no way of knowing what she meant by the friendship comment. It could be her pushing you to the back burner or she could be a very slow mover.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 22
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 1:50:26 PM
^^ He could follow up with so your looking to take it slow and baby step regarding the thing she said about friendship for clarity. I don't get how people can't talk straight and communicate
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 3/1/2019
Msg: 23
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 1:54:18 PM
^^^yeh me either but people keep posting this stuff so they’re out there :)
She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 2:04:37 PM

I’m trying to think of a scenario where I’d meet a man for the very first time and hear the word friendship and think ‘fvck this shit!’ I’m no one’s mug! I’m outta hear!’.....so negative
I may draw some conclusions of my own about what he could mean but I’d definitely require more clarity before jumping on that.


Women who are truly impressed with a man on a first date know better than to use the word "friend". The vast majority of the time it means "hey, back off, I have no romantic interest in you."

He should have tried for a kiss to know one way or another, but now, he's left wondering what kind of impression he made and if she's really interested. The mystery could have been solved right there that night with some assertiveness.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 25
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She used a gift card to pay for her meal
Posted: 4/1/2019 2:42:50 PM
msg#24:
Women who are truly impressed with a man on a first date know better than to use the word "friend". The vast majority of the time it means "hey, back off, I have no romantic interest in you."


I've only ever used the term 'friend' when I was either not interested in starting a romantic relationship with a man or when I wanted to end a relationship that I did not want to go any further.
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