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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked? Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Have you ever really liked someone for awhile, finally dated them then was disappointed in the end? I've only experienced that in the short term. Like seeing someone on a dating site, have great conversation, get along good but just don't feel it. Maybe our personalities weren't comparable, the sex wasn't good or I wasn't physically attracted to her after our clothes came off. There are a couple of women I'd really like to date. They have a lot of qualities I like along with a physical attraction. It would suck if we went out then I find they aren't as nice as I've thought they are.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 2
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/6/2019 8:18:36 PM

There are a couple of women I'd really like to date. They have a lot of qualities I like along with a physical attraction. It would suck if we went out then I find they aren't as nice as I've thought they are.


Go out or you'll never know. They could be the next best thing since sliced bread. Nothing ventured, Nothing gained :)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 3
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/8/2019 11:05:14 AM

Have you ever really liked someone for awhile, finally dated them then was disappointed in the end?

Of course. You'd be disappointed if she wasn't that into you, when you were into her. Happens all the time.

Like seeing someone on a dating site, have great conversation, get along good but just don't feel it.

Like talking to a gal on a dating site, have great convo, but you just don't "feel it"? I wouldn't say the convo was all that 'great', other than you two converse & get a long. Most likely she said some things that threw turn-offs your way.

Maybe our personalities weren't comparable, the sex wasn't good or I wasn't physically attracted to her after our clothes came off.

I think we can be Too Hasty about "the sex wasn't good" when sampling someone new. It hits primitive emotions, so it's not surprising. But not all people are like that, as they've had positive experiences turning "meh" sex into "Yes" sex. But others Run after "meh" sex, even though that can be affected by bad timing & circumstances -- because they never turned "meh" into "Yes", and their only experiences with "meh" became even worse than "meh" if they continued to see them.

When you haven't had sex with one yet, and you really like them, your perception of their personality will be Different. Maybe for the Better, overcoming stereotyping them in negative ways that you normally would. But many times it's going to overlook incompatibilities or skew them in the Attracted Lens you're seeing them thru. When you're not in chasing mode so much anymore, whether that be a lot of time has passed by and/or other factors revealed that brings your attraction about her down to earth, you'll begin to have an Accurate view on the personality (if it was clouded prior).

It would suck if we went out then I find they aren't as nice as I've thought they are.

Don't assume you know her, just because you're chatting online. Put your imagination aside. It ends up making people feel like they're actually going out with someone - lol. Realize that everything REBOOTS once you go out on your first date with them. Mentally, when getting ready for a date with a gal you were talking to online -- treat it like it's a Blind Date. :)
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 4
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/8/2019 6:33:11 PM

There are a couple of women I'd really like to date.


Me, too.

But I tell ya, I get no respect, no respect at all.

Cooperation is severely lacking.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/9/2019 12:45:55 PM
This hasn't happened to me. My impressions on someone were almost always on target when I met them. Before I met them there was this feeling that they weren't going to be someone I was into and I was right. And when there was someone I was into before meeting, I was never disappointed. By asking the right questions and talking on the phone or via video chat, you can pretty much see how you'll feel when you meet. That being said, I only actually met two guys I really liked prior to meeting. One guy I liked before meeting cancelled his date because after talking for a week and a half he wanted to know my weight and when I told him, he cancelled our meeting. Then he actually met me in person by chance at Dairy Queen and texted me a few days later and I didn't respond. I dodged a bullet there I guess. I had liked him and if I had met him I would have been disappointed to learn he was a jerk.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/9/2019 1:14:12 PM

One guy I liked before meeting cancelled his date because after talking for a week and a half he wanted to know my weight and when I told him, he cancelled our meeting.

Weight can be deceiving though. A full body picture shot in-the-now is best.

I dodged a bullet there I guess. I had liked him and if I had met him I would have been disappointed to learn he was a jerk.

Him doing that doesn't mean he's a jerk IRL. Remember, nothing's real until you meat...err, meet. :) If I was talking with a gal online, and she asked me for a full shot from my camera, and lo and behold -- I'm not as "good" looking as my profile pictures -- is she a jerk of a person for not wanting to meet up due to what she saw? No. Even if it's just a subjective take on her part that's not-so-common, I'd argue that it'd be hasty for me to think of her as a jerk IRL. But my Emotions want to believe that, because I Feel the same way as if I actually ran into a jerk. It'd be no more different than meeting IRL, then she lacks interest to talk/see me again due to physical attraction. Except I'd actually be avoiding going thru all that, which is good. Even if Her take on it was uncommon/odd.

He instead put too much stock in weight alone, as his measuring stick. He probably saw you IRL and thought "Oh wait, she looks like her pics that I thought were just fine. Sh!t, no reply -- okay, I'm going to have to be more accurate/open on the weight thing."
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/9/2019 6:07:23 PM
Perhaps, but the bottom line was when he cancelled the meetup due to my weight he hurt my feelings and I cried. And if weight is such an issue for him, what would happen if we got naked together?
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/9/2019 6:13:35 PM

And if weight is such an issue for him, what would happen if we got naked together?


You'd probably notice is his little manhood stood on end, bless the lil thing.
Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/12/2019 7:17:31 AM

Perhaps, but the bottom line was when he cancelled the meetup due to my weight he hurt my feelings and I cried. And if weight is such an issue for him, what would happen if we got naked together?


Online dating starts with physical attraction. Many times the best picture someone has of themselves is the first pic in their dating profile. I've learned to request more pictures if I think a woman has an attractive face but that's the only thing she has pictures of. I was surprised by one who weighed over 200lbs... more than I do.

A person can be what some consider heavy but they can be in good shape. A female friend and I were having a discussion about body types when I was telling her my experiences with online dating. I told her it seems like overweight is considered average and average is considered athletic. She asked what I'd consider her. She's about 5'3, not slim but not what I'd consider fat. I've known her since we were teens. She probably weighs about 50lbs more than when we graduated. As the conversation went on I realized she could be considered athletic. She runs marathons and can probably do it carrying me. She'd have to because I couldn't run a mile. In the end it comes down to what a person is attracted to. Why go out with someone you're not attracted to then not want to be physical with them later?
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/12/2019 7:33:19 AM
I have been sometimes disappointed in that I wanted to like someone, or feel chemistry with them, but I just didn't.
In talking on the phone, and per profiles, it's happened a few times that I've shared a lot of common interests with someone, and they've had things that are on my want list- education/career- but I've just not felt attracted to them.
I really liked them, but no butterflies.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 11
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/12/2019 9:06:14 PM
A guy being chubby is not a dis qualifier for me as I am somewhat chubby myself. I dont date guys who smoke or drink more than socially.
OTOH, not been ask out in 18 months.
good thing I enjoy my own company. lol
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 12
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/13/2019 3:04:25 AM

One guy I liked before meeting cancelled his date because after talking for a week and a half he wanted to know my weight and when I told him, he cancelled our meeting.


That does seem a bit insensitive to me and rather shallow. Instead of looking at you romantically or as someone he connected with as an individual he was looking at you like a product from a catalogue and deciding whether he liked your specs over let's say another 'model'.


Weight can be deceiving though. A full body picture shot in-the-now is best.


Exactly, it's relative to your body frame/height etc. A short girl of a certain weight is going to appear totally different to a tall girl of exactly the same weight


Him doing that doesn't mean he's a jerk IRL.


Have to disagree there, typing online is real life. I accept it has it's limitations but his thoughts were real enough.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/13/2019 5:17:57 AM

Have to disagree there, typing online is real life. I accept it has it's limitations but his thoughts were real enough.


Yes, Online is real life to me. The mind is a powerful thing.

I was rather disappointed this week as a lady I got chatting to seemed to tick all of the boxes, and we were meant to be meeting up Today.

But the 3 strikes rule kicked in.

Basically insinuated I had a harem on day one, so I told her I only chat to one Woman at a time which is true. I let it slide, and tried to brush it off as a compliment. The next day before she went bed said don't go talking to other Women whilst I'm away. She was at a meal Friday night so I said my good night. Woke up and didn't feel it no more. Thought all day about it but couldn't shake it.

She then comes back that night after the meal and says come back to me from my harem and she got told to do one straight away. In a nice way of course.

Nah, f*ck that shit fest waiting to happen. God forbid talking to another woman in daily life.


I have a sock that trusts me 100%

Shame I rarely message nowadays. Life goes on :)
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 3/1/2019
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/13/2019 5:57:11 AM
^^^You sure she weren’t just yanking your chain?
Could be humour.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/13/2019 6:23:24 AM

^^^You sure she weren’t just yanking your chain? Could be humour.


I did think that at first, and why I decided to roll with it as a compliment. I'd explained to her Roxy when It happened the first time Its not my style, and wrote a bit about it in a kind of not so serious tone how men act like that is a choice they make.. To persist afterward regardless down that avenue so to speak was never going to be positive.

Other things were said like I'm starting to get scared now. A guy who chats to one woman and is eloquent(Made me giggle that) and types in sentences and doesnt ask for naked semi naked pics. Then proceeded to ask why I haven't been snapped up, but she said are you gay or married. Now that's a joke lol.

I'm not here to sort someone trust issues. trust me or don't show the cracks until you do. If not, sling their hook elsewhere. Of course trust is earned, and not 100% should be given of the bat, but its the whole basis of a relationship.

It doesn't matter now she rage quit the site after saying she could see why I lost interest. I didn't get another chance to reply.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/13/2019 8:45:30 AM


One guy I liked before meeting cancelled his date because after talking for a week and a half he wanted to know my weight and when I told him, he cancelled our meeting.


It's extremely common for women to ask men their height (even if his height is already stated in his profile). If he's not tall enough for her, he dodges a bullet when they never meet. If he is tall enough, it's still bad because she's with him for shallow reasons he cannot control.

The last gal I dated asked my height before we met (she could have viewed my profile on POF). Should have viewed that as a red flag, but we met anyway. Didn't meet a second time. Her behavior got increasingly obsessive, sending countless texts, most of them negative implying she was angry she hadn't heard from me. Finally she texted an implied ultimatum we had to see each other again that weekend to "take things to the next level". I texted her "Not interested".
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/16/2019 6:58:18 AM

Perhaps, but the bottom line was when he cancelled the meetup due to my weight he hurt my feelings and I cried. And if weight is such an issue for him, what would happen if we got naked together?

I wouldn't reject a woman just because she is somewhat overweight. However weight / body type is a part of physical attraction. If I saw additional pictures of a woman and she is quite a bit heavier than I first thought, I would probably cancel a date / meeting as well. However I wouldn't tell her it's because of her weight. I would make up a "white lie".
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/16/2019 11:43:00 AM

Perhaps, but the bottom line was when he cancelled the meetup due to my weight he hurt my feelings and I cried.

Exactly. It was how you felt, not if he was a jerk IRL. Actually, if anything, if you found out that he was the furthest thing from a jerk IRL, that'd hurt you more. We want to believe a gal we never met is a b!tch and the guy a jerk, in situations like those which trigger negative emotions.

And if weight is such an issue for him, what would happen if we got naked together?

Probably the same as when he saw you IRL. You don't have to take a gal's clothes off to get a good idea -- assuming no girdles are being worn. His reaction IRL seeing you doesn't mean he thought you were the-bomb, but he at least realized that he made the wrong call on going by a # in weight and that alone. But in the end, no, it doesn't mean he'd run seeing you naked. Otherwise he wouldn't have hit you up after seeing you IRL, trying to back-pedal.

I wouldn't reject a woman just because she is somewhat overweight.

I don't think July's guy thought she was somewhat overweight. She is, and he saw her IRL. He was an idiot for going by a mere # value, as if it's even among all gals and reflects their looks.

If I saw additional pictures of a woman and she is quite a bit heavier than I first thought, I would probably cancel a date / meeting as well.

So would I. I would want to go by pictures. Like, if she texted me a newer pic or two, which clearly showed that she was Noticeably heavier than her previous pics where she was cute but could go on a diet -- yeah, same here. And like you, I wouldn't make it so apparent for her to connect the dots (although I wouldn't deny it, if asked). I'd just say that I can't make it on [Friday], I'm sorry. And if she pressed to make another date, I'd say I'll look into it but I'm busy, I'm sorry. And if she kept hitting me up, I'd say "To be honest, I don't think it'd be worth your time or mine. I'm sure you'd be fun to hang out with, but, I'm just not feeling it, I'm sorry."

I'd feel a bit bad for her -- but also not so much, because, why continue talking with a guy THEN show your real pics After a date's agreed upon?
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/16/2019 5:55:48 PM
The whole thing did make me pretty wary of meeting anyone after that. I actually put my weight on my profile after that point. Weight preferences for guys is like height preferences for women. Now I dread meeting any guy off online because I constantly worry "Am I too big for him?" And even after I meet the guy, that question remains. Weight is so subjective too because the actual number doesn't indicate how someone actually looks. 200 pounds can look different on different people. Unlike height. At least with height, if a short guy puts his true height on his profile and he gets a date, the woman obviously has accepted that height. But with weight, a guy can know your actual weight but then when they meet you, they autimatically disqualify you based on how much you visually weigh. This is one reason I really wish I could meet someone in real life because if they actually asked me out I would know the weight isn't an issue. Whereas even if I get past a second date with a guy I will still wonder if the weight is an actual issue but he's trying to deal with it.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/16/2019 8:12:05 PM

Weight preferences for guys is like height preferences for women.

No, it's not. Again, NO, it's not. Weight itself doesn't tell the tale; that guy's action-admitted mistake. Don't put your weight in your profile; it will only mislead someone as proven before, correct?

Doing just height, the only thing it has in common is evaluating one's body type by height+weight combo is very error-prone, where height-alone in height will potentially have a little error in it's ways if one's looking for someone notably shorter or taller than they are. But otherwise, it's comparing apples & oranges. It's conceptually different.

Now I dread meeting any guy off online because I constantly worry "Am I too big for him?"

He hit you up after he Saw you in person! That should have erased this concern!

Weight is so subjective too because the actual number doesn't indicate how someone actually looks.

Yes, unlike height. Which is why, don't post it. Just make sure you have full-body pics. That's all you'll need.

But with weight, a guy can know your actual weight but then when they meet you, they autimatically disqualify you based on how much you visually weigh.

But again, visualizing someone based on weight is Flawed. Put up full-body pics, you're 100% fine. You should have NO concern if said full-body pics are Truly Accurate. If a guy asks your weight, just "lol" him and say hey, that can be deceiving, I'm tall too -- you can see my body, my pics are accurate. If you want a live one, I can give that to ya to make you breath easier. :)

What one's really asking for is -- up-to-date full-body pics. Some may erroneously think weight itself can tell the true story. That previous guy saw it wasn't. Again, he Proved he err'd in his ways when he saw you IRL. That should give you a sigh of relief -- not continued concern about wanting to post it! Sheesh! Even HE wished right afterward, that he didn't ask for it! :)
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/16/2019 10:22:34 PM
I don't know. I still think it might just be better to make a guy think I'm heavier because then if he still wants to know me I can relax a little knowing he's ok with bigger girls. I would rather date a guy like that than a guy who might think I'm just an acceptable weight but if I gain anything I'm toast.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/17/2019 1:50:37 PM

I don't know. I still think it might just be better to make a guy think I'm heavier because then if he still wants to know me I can relax a little knowing he's ok with bigger girls. I would rather date a guy like that than a guy who might think I'm just an acceptable weight but if I gain anything I'm toast.


How about have some self respect ffs and just be you. If they can't accept you for who you are, They can go get f*cked.
 Million_Reasons
Joined: 10/23/2018
Msg: 23
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/17/2019 3:16:16 PM
I can not believe the things people do and what some people put up with.

If a stranger asked me what my weight was....I can assure you....I would have a bit of fun with him before I hung up. ;)
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 24
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/17/2019 4:26:24 PM
Yeah you would prefer they asked what your favorite scary movie is. We all know how that ends.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 25
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Disappointed after dating someone you really liked?
Posted: 4/17/2019 6:33:05 PM

I don't know.

You should. You're way too negative-emotionally controlled, even away from soothing news from your experience. Another reason why you shouldn't use yourself as a measuring stick to how girls-in-general-are/feel when talking about boy-girl situations. Again, he asked you a Very unusual/strange question after setting up a date (not as some weirdo initial msg) -- and you gave him a #, and he bolted -- BUT he saw you in person and hit you up! That combination of weird question + Him Proving it was bad should make you chuckle at yourself for giving it out, and have a sigh of relief that that alone doesn't do squat.

I still think it might just be better to make a guy think I'm heavier because then if he still wants to know me I can relax a little knowing he's ok with bigger girls.

Kind of the same rationale as Not putting up your more flattering pics. Oh, I'm not talking about "MySpace" photos on angles which make bigger people look better -- I'm talking about purposely putting up the Less flattering pics of oneself.

I did apply a concept like this a Long Long time ago. Admittedly, it did work in a way. I couldn't get the cuter girls that I had a good shot at IRL. But online, that was tough anyway. So of the girls I did get online, they expected Less when I met them. When you deliver More than they expect? Your stock price rises higher than that difference. They're elated. Underpants come off quicker, too. I was on the rebound at the time - lol. Again, long time ago. :)

Times have changed though, online. From my second-hand observation, I think it's a bit more in the opposite direction for guys. And one can only do that up until a certain point -- depending how 'bad' their pics are online, and how 'better' they look IRL.

But for you, I would just say don't put "MySpace" type photos up, but Do put your best photo up even if it makes you look a little better than IRL -- just keep a few on there that do show your whole self (body) as it would day to day IRL.

How about have some self respect ffs and just be you. If they can't accept you for who you are, They can go get f*cked.

Well, lol, saying the guy can go off and get f*cked by some other girl if he can't accept her -- I don't see how that's so promising. ;)
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