Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > cancelled 2 hrs before the date      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 CroydonGirl
Joined: 4/2/2019
Msg: 1
cancelled 2 hrs before the datePage 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I had a first date with a guy last week, it went very well.

We had conversations in the meantime and he asked me to meet before i leave for holiday.

One day before, he texted me to see if we are still on and chatted a bit.

I texted him yesterday for good morning we said to meet at 8 pm . Then around afternoon i found that this place that i had chosen to go unfortunately was closed today and if we could go somewhere else in the area as there are plenty of places.

He answered that he got stuck on a job and said sorry he couldn't be there at the agreed time and hopefully i would let him take me out after my holiday or today.

I told him that if he doesn't want to meet that night, that's fine and he said he was looking forward to this.

He did apologise many times and said he wants to make it up to me and give me a neck massage .

He said he feels bad and i said that these things happen sometimes so no need to worry.

Tbh it seems to me as an excuse not to meet for whatever reason.

Plus he hasn't texted me at all today and tomorrow I am going holiday

So I guess next???
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 7:21:57 AM
Next indeed.

Here I am.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 3
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 8:54:02 AM
Mistakes all around it seems first you pick a spot that is closed on that day... He follows with an inability to contact you and tell you earlier in the day that he is going to be working later than expected. Neither of you have your sh!t together in my opinion and if you told me you wanted to go somewhere that I already knew was closed the day you said you would be done in that instant. The perception of that action is you are playing and won't show as you don't even know it's closed.

Life is about perception if that guy was smart of course he is finding a real way out of it namely he don't believe your not playing him and now he is returning the favor. He might had said experience in the past a woman said she would meet him he went place was closed, he could also be thinking your looking for an out and felt that you didn't like yourself for trying to trick him.

Put yourself in the situation of your date and look at that scenario, from a skeptic point of view what would cause someone to make plans at a closed location? Why would they inform you it was closed but not make sure it was open before making the plans to begin with?
 CroydonGirl
Joined: 4/2/2019
Msg: 4
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 9:18:48 AM
Bs. Have you read what i wrote?

I accidentally saw that some pages was showing this place as closed on wed and some not. There are plenty of places in the area so i suggested we went to another place instead for start.

I texted this 4 hrs before the date and he told me 2 hrs before that he cant. So who wanted out here is obvious
 CroydonGirl
Joined: 4/2/2019
Msg: 5
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 9:25:24 AM
Oh and also i offered him to meet today instead in the afternoon and he hasnt texted all day to take up the offer.

So ... i dont think im wrong here.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 6
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 9:37:26 AM
If you step outside of your own way for a second you made plans to go to a closed location... correct? Accidently or not it's not about that it's about the perception given. You then contacted him telling him it was closed tried to make arrangements for another area. Second thoughts on playing the action out felt bad don't really want to date, but don't have the ability to not bail entirely.

You ever go out with someone who is there because they would feel guilty not following through with a date they agreed to0. Their not happy, their not into the person, the date is horrible there is no reciprocation. You don't know what your statement meant to him your not in his head and he is not going to tell you. The pity date is the worst thing a person can do to another if they so much as suspect it based on actions leading up to it. I am totally unbiased here I see where he is being flaky and think he should have handle a situation like that differently.

It's not saying it's just you it's saying the breakdown in communication, the inability to discuss things and speak what is on your mind and what people think is the problem. You might have worked the things out if either of you had been straight you don't know what that guys co-workers said to him making him doubt your sincerity. You don't know any other factors playing in that scenario except what happened not anything else and you only have your perspective. I think and weigh in all factors that might have played in your changing it, what his buddies and co-workers would say to your actions if they have no trust and their past experience the percentages.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 7
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 9:50:19 AM
Things do come up. I've had it happen before where I had work or a situation that took precedence over dating that I didn't know about.

The fact that he didn't make specific plans for the future and said

he wants to make it up to me and give me a neck massage .
makes me think he's not super interested unless it's for sex of course then he'll be right over!

I would not text him anymore period until he texts you. Don't ask when you're going out ect. Set a time to which you're willing to wait for him to respond, like I'll wait till 10am and if I haven't heard from him I'd make other plans. Besides if you make other plans and he does text you last minute and you tell him you already have plans it sets the boundary up without having to say anything that you need more notice to see him (you're not gonna drop everything for him).
 CroydonGirl
Joined: 4/2/2019
Msg: 8
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 11:23:21 AM
He texted me and said to have a lovely holiday and hopefully get together when i am back.

He had said before, to me either to go out today or when i come back but also suggested neck massage.

I texted him of course i am looking forward to it and i wished him a good holiday too.

I won't text him anything of course during holiday.

To me looks like he just made up an excuse for yesterday.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 9
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 11:34:02 AM
Wait until you are back and see how it goes, but until then summer loving might happen when on your holiday with Pedro haha.
 GreatDaysAhead77
Joined: 4/5/2019
Msg: 10
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 12:35:18 PM
Doesn't look he is that much into you.
Do not wait for him. Do not chase him.
If you are both free and available to meet after your holidays, Great! If not, then not.
As they say, don't put all your eggs into one basket. You would not be wrong to meet other people (men) on your holiday or to make plans to meet with others after your holiday.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 11
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 1:15:34 PM
If he's treating you poorly now, how do you think he will treat you later? men are like buses, miss one, take the next.
 CroydonGirl
Joined: 4/2/2019
Msg: 12
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 1:20:52 PM
Tbh i don't know if that he is not into me applies here as he has done the chasing etc. On the first date he made quite a bit of effort too.
But ye i will see what happens.
Im not saying that i liked this yesterday, but at the end of the day we just had one date and we are total strangers.
So i dont expect the world here.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 13
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 1:26:53 PM

So i dont expect the world here.


Thank you.

Good to know there is one woman on here who feels that way.
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 14
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 1:45:02 PM

Tbh i don't know if that he is not into me applies here as he has done the chasing etc. On the first date he made quite a bit of effort too.
But ye i will see what happens.
Im not saying that i liked this yesterday, but at the end of the day we just had one date and we are total strangers.
So i dont expect the world here.


Yeah I guess you're right there, after that initial first date when it's a positive one there are a lot of strategic moves and decisions going on between both sides,
Is it too soon to text, do I play it cool and not text, bit like a game of chess (not that I play chess) make one wrong move and it's game over, checkmate.
 CroydonGirl
Joined: 4/2/2019
Msg: 15
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 1:51:18 PM
I mean not necessarily that.
Thats fine. These things happen sometimes.
He actually apologised multiple times.
Now if we go on a date again, fine.
If not, fine again.
Of course i won't initiate now anything whilst on holiday.
If he wants me he can have me.
Otherwise next.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 16
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 1:59:05 PM
^^ I think since it was a nice first date and if he wants you he can have you . I'd give him enough rope to hang himself and you might just find he doesn't :)
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 17
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 2:02:15 PM

If he wants me he can have me.


Sounds like one lucky son of a b**tch.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 18
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 2:09:51 PM
He certainly sounds a lot better of a catch than the last one you posted about Miss Croydon





In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.

Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 19
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 2:29:25 PM

Is it too soon to text, do I play it cool and not text, bit like a game of chess (not that I play chess) make one wrong move and it's game over, checkmate

Do people really play these games? If I'm interested in someone after the first date, they will know it. If I'm not, they will know it. Every man who was interested back, texted as soon as he arrived home. They also texted the next day and so on. Maybe I'm just out of touch with how the youngen's do it these days. Playing guessing games with someone doesn't strike me as real romantic.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 20
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 4:35:23 PM

Every man who was interested back, texted as soon as he arrived home. They also texted the next day and so on.


It's usually how it works as you would like to be seen as interested.





In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.

Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 21
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 6:05:59 PM
This happened to me recently. She texted me just as I was going out the door saying that wanted to reschedule because the change in weather gave her a headache. I got all dresses up, shaved, and put on my best cologne for nothing. If I was really interested in meeting a person, I would follow up on it even if I had a bit of a headache. You can’t afford to be flaky if you’re a man.
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 22
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 6:18:42 PM

It's usually how it works as you would like to be seen as interested


And how would you know that?... Mr expert.


In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 23
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 6:34:24 PM

And how would you know that?... Mr expert.


Well, maybe because adults don't play games and straight to the point about their intentions MR Amatuer.



In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.

Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 24
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 7:01:23 PM

Well, maybe because adults don't play games and straight to the point about their intentions MR Amateur (sic).


Only the desperate and needy do that.


In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 25
view profile
History
cancelled 2 hrs before the date
Posted: 4/18/2019 7:08:45 PM
Goodness the expectations these days are ridiculous!!

I get stuck at work a couple times a week and have to cancel or postpone plans....
I get busy at work and can't reply to texts for hours...
doesn't mean I am not interested....doesn't mean anything other than I have a frikken job and while I am on the clock....it is my priority!

Relax....enjoy your Holiday....and see where it goes when you get back.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > cancelled 2 hrs before the date