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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Sorry but I'm already talking to someone - genuine response or classi      Home login  
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 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 1
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Sorry but I'm already talking to someone - genuine response or classic "I'm not interested" fob-offPage 1 of 1    
Sorry but I'm already talking to someone....

Most of the time I'm presuming that is a genuine response, but (like just today) I've got one which I think isn't based on the tone of the rest of the message, so can it be yet another way of 'ghosting' along the lines of a classic "I'm not interested" fob-off?

TBH, I find a lot of the responses I get along these lines make me wonder if the person is really serious if they keep their dating site profile(s) active when they're 'actively dating'. But perhaps that's what we do in this 'new era' of trying to find 'the one'?

The fact that I get a response at all generally means the profile is less likely to be fake, so there's that. Classic law of averages at work.

That 1-in-a-million people who might be genuinely interested and you have to hope that she (or he for you ladies) is then actually registered with a genuine profile on a dating site (or sites) or that you might actually have a rare 'meetcute' in person (supposedly how dating actually works).
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 2
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Sorry but I'm already talking to someone - genuine response or classic I'm not interested fob-off
Posted: 4/24/2019 3:33:56 PM

Sorry but I'm already talking to someone....


Cop out.

Convenient lame excuse.


make me wonder if the person is really serious if they keep their dating site profile(s) active when they're 'actively dating'.


They are serious about being flaky.


That 1-in-a-million people


More like 1 in a BILLION.
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 3
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Sorry but I'm already talking to someone - genuine response or classic I'm not interested fob-off
Posted: 4/24/2019 3:49:19 PM

Cop out.

Convenient lame excuse.


They could've just ignored him.

I've come to the conclusion no matter how women deal with men, they'll get branded no matter what they do.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 4
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Genuine topic or just another whine?
Posted: 4/26/2019 8:46:21 AM
^^^
Unfortunately this is true.
OP:
1. You don't know what "ghosting" means.
2. Who cares why a person isn't interested?
 borderlady
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 5
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Genuine topic or just another whine?
Posted: 4/26/2019 3:08:32 PM
I take the already communicating with someone else as genuine, but have found it used a bit too often...
Rather get that response than a blunt "NOT INTERESTED!"
Just told a guy lived in a beautiful area. Guy was 73 and I'm 70 and we are about 90 mins apart..
Yet to me getting some type of response is better than nothing.
My usual response if I am not interested is to thank them for the interest (sometimes give a reason)and wish them good luck in their search.
Sorry but I'm already talking to someone - genuine response or classic
Posted: 4/26/2019 4:14:50 PM
Some women probably think they're letting a man down easy by saying that they're already talking to someone instead of that they're not interested. The reasoning behind it is that he's less likely to take the rejection personally.
 JoeyT2870
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 7
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Sorry but I'm already talking to someone - genuine response or classic I'm not interested fob-off
Posted: 4/27/2019 12:27:10 PM
You should be happy you're getting replies !!

I'd rather get that as a reply. I'd say that if I send out 100 messages, I don't get a reply to 99 of them, and the 100th will usually talk for a few seconds and then stop talking.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 8
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Sorry but I'm already talking to someone - genuine response or classic I'm not interested fob-off
Posted: 4/27/2019 7:55:49 PM
If you're on a dating app And you're talking to a person that has you so interested that you don't wanna talk to another person, wow just hide your damn profile until your done talking . you're right anything else is a response or behavior of a totally illogical stupid human being. I had that same blow off from men And then they go on one or 2 dates with the woman, an utter failure And then they try to hook back up with me Like what : "you know sorry go find another chopped liver "not my game tyvm
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 9
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Sorry but I'm already talking to someone - genuine response or classic I'm not interested fob-off
Posted: 4/28/2019 3:28:00 AM

I think isn't based on the tone of the rest of the message, so can it be yet another way of 'ghosting'


This is not ghosting. This is a very casual, passing message exchange on the dating/message platform and a relation in which somebody breaks it off by completely disappearing. Nobody is owed attention, on a dating platform.


"I'm not interested" fob-off?"


It means they're disinterested and you move on, to find somebody who is interested, "lame excuse" or not. They actually told you instead of moving along, without telling you; either way, they're perfectly acceptable responses in dealing with complete strangers, online. They didn't have to respond to you; but, they chose to and made their lack of interest known. A lot of people gripe about not getting a response, but when they do, they post crap like this; a person is damned if they do, damned if they don't. SMH.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 10
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Sorry but I'm already talking to someone - genuine response or classic I'm not interested fob-off
Posted: 4/28/2019 7:15:01 AM
If you have been chatting for a while and person then completely ignores you as their "ghosting" method..that is rude. That wastes your time since you gotta waste time figuring out what is what. Ethically in that case you are owed IMHO. But how many "ethical" people are using OLD?
However ,if you send an unsolicited message, nothing is owed to you. I hang upon telemarketers. Don't you? Rejection messages are a waste of both peoples time. If you actually remember a member you wrote and are waiting for a "message" you already lost the war. Don't put emotions where it isn't warranted. We all heard the the line "time is money". OLD is similar. Time can better be used looking elsewhere.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 11
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Sorry but I'm already talking to someone - genuine response or classic I'm not interested fob-off
Posted: 4/28/2019 8:27:59 AM
She probably is already talking to someone. However, if she stops talking with him, the people to whom she wrote that line still have zero chance. Probably wouldn't be interested even if she weren't talking to someone.

There's a less than 1% chance she's being so "monogamous", she focuses on one conversation at a time and doesn't consider anyone else while the prospect with the one person lasts. This behavior is much more common by men, at least it appears that way from forum posts by nice guys who focus on one person and ignore other prospects. Forumites scream for him to keep looking, to have multiple conversations going, because odds are they all will end: the other person will stop communicating for no apparent reason or will stop when he tries to get her number or asks her to meet in person.

Let's say she actually could be interested if she weren't talking to the someone. She still won't consider you. If you message her again in a month, saying if she's not talking with that someone, would she be interested? You won't get a positive response. She can't complain if you wrote her again to check on her supposed "someone": you called her bluff, and there might be people who take her words literally instead of understanding she wasn't interested. The vast majority of employers won't go back to view resumes of people they ignored / rejected in favor of a better "someone"; they just look at new resumes. Similarly, women mainly focus on new candidates, not considering ones the ignored or rejected.

She must be a new user. Apparently most women quickly stop sending many responses once they get an angry message from someone who can't handle rejection, calling her a b**** or saying she's ugly, he was never interested, etc. A seasoned user would just not reply.

A few times the gal has let me know she met someone and he's now her boyfriend, they're getting into a serious relationship, etc. That's a polite thing to do with someone with whom you've exchanged meaningful texts / phone conversations. My response is concise, "Congratulations on finding someone". Sometimes the gal says the nonsense of "I'd be happy to keep messaging with you as friends". Of course she doesn't want to continue as friends. She's letting you think it's your decision to let her go.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 12
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 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 13
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Sorry but I'm already talking to someone - genuine response or classic I'm not interested fob-off
Posted: 4/29/2019 5:09:29 PM
😂ty 2ufo laughing my ass off as most times you share! thanks you don't disappoint
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 14
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Sorry but I'm already talking to someone - genuine response or classic I'm not interested fob-off
Posted: 4/30/2019 8:55:55 PM
soon as you hear the word "sorry" it is all over.. They are not interested for whatever reason. Move on..
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Sorry but I'm already talking to someone - genuine response or classic "I'm not interested" fob-off