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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Second chance rip      Home login  
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 Moto667
Joined: 2/29/2016
Msg: 1
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Second chance ripPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
One of my friends recently told me they are talking with a woman that I dated trying to convince her to give me second chance. I only dated her for a few months last year. We had good chemistry but we both made heavy mistakes. I was annoyed that my friend was doing this without checking with me, didn't think anything would come out of it but held bit of hope. I tried early this year for a second chance but got nowhere and she blocked me on all communications.

My friend didn't pass along much info so I figured they got the same results I did. Soon after my previous girlfriend added me back on her social media. We exchanged several msgs and thought maybe there was a chance. Then my friend said the woman in question was going to be moving away with her boyfriend. Why would she would add me back now knowing I wanted a second chance when she is apparently commited to her boyfriend?
Second chance rip
Posted: 4/28/2019 11:28:43 AM
A possibility is that she no longer sees you as a threat to her current relationship since she's moving away with her boyfriend. If you're now on speaking terms with her, why not ask her this question.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 3
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Second chance rip
Posted: 4/28/2019 4:36:06 PM

We had good chemistry but we both made heavy mistakes.

Which were.....??

I tried early this year for a second chance but got nowhere and she blocked me on all communications.

Then basically you have no chance. However, that's why one needs to know what went down, in a 100% honest way. Could be an exception or close enough to it to consider. Fat chance, but hey, you're already considering it, so you mine as well spill the beans.

My friend didn't pass along much info so I figured they got the same results I did.

They? Or just 1 friend?

Soon after my previous girlfriend added me back on her social media.

The girl you "only dated" for a few months, or some other woman who was your GF at one point?

We exchanged several msgs and thought maybe there was a chance.

Okay, I'm assuming you Do mean the same girl.

So basically you did talk a bit after your friend talked with her, as she unblocked you and was willing to exchange some msgs. Then your friend said she's going to be moving away with her BF. Okay, if she has a BF, you have ZERO chance, regardless of what went down. If she's moving away -- even the Blind should understand there's ZERO chance.

Why would she would add me back now knowing I wanted a second chance when she is apparently commited to her boyfriend?

Because a lot of time passed since she blocked everything about you, and your friend stoke empathy about you. So she unblocks you from facebook or her phone, and is willing to talk, post-bad-breakup from a year or so ago. That doesn't mean she wants you back, dude. It means the angst lessened, the dust settled.

That said, she could have said some things that did sound a bit like she liked you -- when feelings of the past are brought up (both negative & positive). That said, it doesn't mean that she's going to want to go out with you at all, when she has a BF.

Dude, let it go. She's feeling another sausage slip in and out of her. Every day. And it's not you.
 Moto667
Joined: 2/29/2016
Msg: 4
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Second chance rip
Posted: 4/28/2019 7:00:28 PM

A possibility is that she no longer sees you as a threat to her current relationship since she's moving away with her boyfriend. If you're now on speaking terms with her, why not ask her this question.

She and I exchanged several very basic msgs. I tried to build a little rapport before asking anything more. Today she blocked me from sending anymore msgs. Yet I can still see all her photos and updates seems odd.
 Moto667
Joined: 2/29/2016
Msg: 5
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Second chance rip
Posted: 4/28/2019 7:13:09 PM

Then basically you have no chance. However, that's why one needs to know what went down, in a 100% honest way. Could be an exception or close enough to it to consider. Fat chance, but hey, you're already considering it, so you mine as well spill the beans.

Two of her friends, were pressuring her to get back together with a previous boyfriend. I wasn't aware of it until a week or so before the break up by that time the damage was done. When I found out I lost my temper I cursed the friends and that lead to big arguments with my gf and the breakup.


They? Or just 1 friend?

One friend.


The girl you "only dated" for a few months, or some other woman who was your GF at one point?

The girl I dated for a few months.


Okay, I'm assuming you Do mean the same girl.
Yup.


So basically you did talk a bit after your friend talked with her, as she unblocked you and was willing to exchange some msgs. Then your friend said she's going to be moving away with her BF. Okay, if she has a BF, you have ZERO chance, regardless of what went down. If she's moving away -- even the Blind should understand there's ZERO chance.

Yes, her moving away with a bf is significant. If it's true. Evidently she's only been seeing him about two months so it's pretty early to be moving away. More likely she fed a lie for whatever reasons. If she has a bf zero chance? Come on get real. He's a bf not a husband.


Because a lot of time passed since she blocked everything about you, and your friend stoke empathy about you. So she unblocks you from facebook or her phone, and is willing to talk, post-bad-breakup from a year or so ago. That doesn't mean she wants you back, dude. It means the angst lessened, the dust settled.
A lot time has passed since she blocked everything? No. It was the towards the end January a few months. Friend stroke? We ended on bad terms and that's exactly what she would be reminded of, makes more sense to not give any chance and leave it in the past.


That said, she could have said some things that did sound a bit like she liked you -- when feelings of the past are brought up (both negative & positive). That said, it doesn't mean that she's going to want to go out with you at all, when she has a BF.
Again a bf means nothing. Most of the women I dated had a bf when I met them.


Dude, let it go. She's feeling another sausage slip in and out of her. Every day. And it's not you.

Again the same could be said for most of the women I ended up dating and as well most of the most the women who be forming new relationships.
Second chance rip
Posted: 4/29/2019 7:23:44 AM
You might have had a slim chance before, but now that she has cut off communication with you a second time you have none. Ask your friend not to intervene again. You need to move on with your life.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 7
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Second chance rip
Posted: 4/29/2019 9:29:10 AM

She and I exchanged several very basic msgs. I tried to build a little rapport before asking anything more. Today she blocked me from sending anymore msgs. Yet I can still see all her photos and updates seems odd.


I've done this in the past in fact I just did it recently with an ex. I blocked him on messenger but not on facebook. I got tired of seeing his face pop up on messenger every time I logged in. Plus I wished to not have any more conversations with him. I didn't block his profile because honestly I don't care if he see's how well I'm doing in life. I've reached the point where I'm indifferent to the situation other than having to see his mug everyday!
 spectravision
Joined: 3/20/2019
Msg: 8
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Second chance rip
Posted: 4/29/2019 9:43:17 AM

I got tired of seeing his face pop up on messenger every time I logged in. Plus I wished to not have any more conversations with him.


I have a few ex's I see on here and have been contacted in the past so instant block. It does peck a little seeing their mugshot and thinking could you go away already you piece of insert [niceities]
Second chance rip
Posted: 4/29/2019 10:21:38 AM
If I block an ex on messenger, I'm also going to block him on facebook. If I wanted him to see how well I was doing without him, it would mean I was still emotionally invested in him and still cared about his opinion of me. That's not indifference. Its why I'm a firm believer in making a clean break.
 Moto667
Joined: 2/29/2016
Msg: 10
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Second chance rip
Posted: 4/29/2019 12:22:53 PM

You might have had a slim chance before, but now that she has cut off communication with you a second time you have none. Ask your friend not to intervene again. You need to move on with your life.

I think I had a very good chance at getting her back. My friend showed their conversation and it went into issues that would be painful and difficult to talk about. Remember, my friend who started the conversation was a complete stranger to my previous gf. I think the only reason someone is going to open up like that is for a second chance. My friend tried to explain some misunderstandings and those revelations could take awhile to process. I think she cut off communications with me because she now realizes she was wrong and feels guilty and confused.
 Moto667
Joined: 2/29/2016
Msg: 11
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/4/2019 3:51:29 PM
Today, my previous girlfriend opened communications again. She was friendly and accommodating. She spoke on the various issues and apologized for them. I followed and did the same.

I never anticipated that it would be so tough to talk with her about those past issues. I was reminded of situations that I'd had forgotten. Hours later, I feel drained. Unexpectedly, I find myself feeling bitter that she couldn't allow this to happen when I contacted her earlier in the year and that it took a complete stranger to her, to make it happen. I'm so thankful for this reconciliation, it very easy could have never happened. I never had a bad falling out like this before. This is all new territory for me. I'm interested what if anything happens next.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 12
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/4/2019 5:28:56 PM

Two of her friends, were pressuring her to get back together with a previous boyfriend. I wasn't aware of it until a week or so before the break up by that time the damage was done. When I found out I lost my temper I cursed the friends and that lead to big arguments with my gf and the breakup.

Which is Highly likely she wasn't thinking the dreamy world of you before this. You were only dating for a few months, and the thought of a prev boyfriend was in the mix. You flip out, and she dumps you. Thing is, even if you didn't flip out, but brought it up reasonably as you should have, she still would have ended up dumping you. Writing was at least starting to be on the wall, dude. But one with a stalker mentality won't see that. They'll want to see it as just some 1 thing that got in the way that did it. Like on the level of a misunderstanding -- like thinking you were with another girl, but really she finds out it was your cousin or something. OH man! If only XYZ was made clear, none of this would have happened! No. Your situation wasn't like that.

Yes, her moving away with a bf is significant. If it's true. Evidently she's only been seeing him about two months so it's pretty early to be moving away. More likely she fed a lie for whatever reasons. If she has a bf zero chance? Come on get real. He's a bf not a husband.

You're getting this wrong. Your feelings are clouding your vision. In these situations, Do Not Listen To Your Gut. That's for safety purposes, not following what you want to be true.

She was only dating you for about 3 months when she dumped you -- so your situation wasn't really any more significant than how she IS with him, even if moving away with him is more a possibility, not marked on the calendar. If she's Lying about it, to get to you -- wake up. That would squash it just as much as her moving away with a guy. Not just "significant". Let it go, man. Your emotions are making you reason like a stalker's.

A lot time has passed since she blocked everything? No. It was the towards the end January a few months.

Which is the length of the relationship you had with her. A lot of time didn't pass between you two?

We ended on bad terms and that's exactly what she would be reminded of, makes more sense to not give any chance and leave it in the past.

But after a good amount of time passes, it makes more sense to resolve it because you can handle it better (or think you can). Which she was open to do. It does Not Equal having a thing for you. You'd need more than that.

Again a bf means nothing. Most of the women I dated had a bf when I met them.

This is the stalker-type reasoning though. A BF does mean something, dude. Wake up. By your rationale, you didn't mean anything to her because you went out with her for a few months.

Again the same could be said for most of the women I ended up dating and as well most of the most the women who be forming new relationships.

Were most of the women you dated the ones who dumped you, getting ball-banged by someone else they're With -- but you won them back over? Big difference. Let it go, man. Let it go. She's enjoying a dirty pickle every night. It's not you. You're wanting to believe you have a realistic chance, because your emotions can't take the realization that you don't.
 Moto667
Joined: 2/29/2016
Msg: 13
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/4/2019 6:09:18 PM
Norwegianguy456, you conviently ignored my latest post because your advice was flat wrong. Now you're spewing toxic baloney.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 14
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/5/2019 2:05:52 PM

Norwegianguy456, you conviently ignored my latest post because your advice was flat wrong. Now you're spewing toxic baloney.

Because she talked to you to help sooth unresolved issues post-breakup from months ago? LOL.
 Moto667
Joined: 2/29/2016
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/5/2019 4:41:00 PM

Because she talked to you to help sooth unresolved issues post-breakup from months ago? LOL

I had two other bad break ups but at no time would I've wasted any time on either of them.
No one is going make an effort to talk about difficult issues from months ago and offer apologies unless it is for the benefit of a future chance. Again, you were were flat wrong all over the place. No wonder this forum has such a low reputation.
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 16
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/5/2019 5:26:37 PM
Dude, have you considered maybe it's not a 'new' boyfriend she has, but rather the one you said her friends were pestering her to get back with?
Sounds like on reflection, cause of what your friend said, she may still hold a soft spot for you and could be keeping her options open should anything go wrong with her current situation, especially if it's the original boyfriend she's back with.
All of this would equate with her not being keeper material anyway, so probably best forgotten about, triangles are not good situations for anybody to be in.
Second chance rip
Posted: 5/5/2019 9:17:21 PM

No wonder this forum has such a low reputation.


How much of the Earth's population even knows about this little shithole?
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 3/1/2019
Msg: 18
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/6/2019 12:30:49 AM
I’m just chuffed we’ve got a rep :)

Reading it all it sounds like she’s really not interested in pursuing anything with you at this time.
Soz. Good luck x
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 19
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/6/2019 12:49:52 AM

I had two other bad break ups but at no time would I've wasted any time on either of them.

It's not wasting time if things are unresolved, by you and/or the other, to resolve past issues.

No one is going make an effort to talk about difficult issues from months ago and offer apologies unless it is for the benefit of a future chance.

Umm, sorry, you're dead wrong. People are willing to talk to the other post-breakup where there's a lack of resolution / understanding -- and not want to get back together with them. If you think that doing so = wanting to get back with them, you're in 4th grade. But yes, *IF* there's a chance they Do want to get back together with you, getting ball-banged happily by another guy or not, that is a Requirement. But it in no way = wanting to be with you. You'll need a lot more than that.

Again, you were were flat wrong all over the place.

Dude. She has this other guy splattering her face, who she's moving away with or wanted to lie to you that she was when she's not. Of course I'm wrong. :)

Dude, have you considered maybe it's not a 'new' boyfriend she has, but rather the one you said her friends were pestering her to get back with?

That's a good question -- that popped in my mind prior but didn't express it. Regardless, the guy's been with her the majority of the time that he was ever with her.... but yes, if he was that ex that she was to get back with, that's worse chances for him. I think he doesn't want to "lose", which is why the obsession.

That said though, I will say this: Yes, it will make you feel better to pork your ex after you were, from your emotions at least, erroneously dumped. Even if it's hardly an "ex", but a gal you were dating but struck a nerve. One can't say for 100% certain that talking didn't jive up a small but legit chance that she may be open to engage with OP on a more-than-friends level at least temporarily, when she's with a guy she's moving away with or lying to claim she is -- but one's going to need a heck of a lot more than a post-WTF breakup scenario and her willing to talk after Banning you, to have any solid confidence in it.
 FFS38
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 20
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/6/2019 6:37:04 AM

Dude. She has this other guy splattering her face, who she's moving away with.


Wow, you could have served that up a little better..

Giving her pearl necklaces frequently perhaps?
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 21
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/6/2019 10:46:33 AM

I had two other bad break ups


Are you specializing in bad break ups?

Seinfeld flashback:

"He's a bad breaker upper".
 Moto667
Joined: 2/29/2016
Msg: 22
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/6/2019 12:18:16 PM

Dude, have you considered maybe it's not a 'new' boyfriend she has, but rather the one you said her friends were pestering her to get back with?
Sounds like on reflection, cause of what your friend said, she may still hold a soft spot for you and could be keeping her options open should anything go wrong with her current situation, especially if it's the original boyfriend she's back with.
All of this would equate with her not being keeper material anyway, so probably best forgotten about, triangles are not good situations for anybody to be in.

It is a different guy. The other guy was about my age the one she is with now is probably 10 years older. She had cut communications with me and her two friends who had pushed to get back previous boyfriend.
 Moto667
Joined: 2/29/2016
Msg: 23
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/6/2019 12:19:09 PM

I’m just chuffed we’ve got a rep :)

Reading it all it sounds like she’s really not interested in pursuing anything with you at this time.
Soz. Good luck x

What would do you expect her to do just dump her boyfriend to be with a me, a guy she had a bad breakup with? Get real. She was fed a bunch of lies by her friends and just recently realized that. She is still confused and doesn't really trust me yet.
 Moto667
Joined: 2/29/2016
Msg: 24
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/6/2019 12:19:52 PM

It's not wasting time if things are unresolved, by you and/or the other, to resolve past issues.

You are so phoney. You say the opposite of what I said just to be argumentive. Unless there is potential for a future chance there is absolutely no point of wasting time resolving past issues with someone.
 Moto667
Joined: 2/29/2016
Msg: 25
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Second chance rip
Posted: 5/6/2019 12:20:54 PM

Are you specializing in bad break ups?

Seinfeld flashback:

"He's a bad breaker upper".

You, the guy who has no photos on their dating site profile has had no bad break ups?
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