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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-      Home login  
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 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 1
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
When you have been texting or emailing with a guy for too long, no meeting, do you ever try and nudge them to take action?

At times, I've said something like "Well, this has been nice, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Good luck in your search!"
A few times, this has resulted in getting asked out immediately. Other times, I've gotten, "Ok, you too!" or similar.

Do you nudge? If so, how? Has it worked?

I just want to shout sometimes- SHYT or GET OFF the POT, already!

Ask me out, or go away!
 Llove2laughtoo
Joined: 10/22/2018
Msg: 2
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/4/2019 10:29:52 AM
Lots of text wasters out there. My profile clearly states = "I am not looking for a pen pal ....

If they haven’t made an attempt to ask you on a date within a week of initial contact, it's time to move on.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 3
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/4/2019 11:00:51 AM
Perhaps you should ask them to meet? I don't chat long but often I am too slow and they mentioned it first. Don't worry they might still pay for your tea!
 Carrolllll5858
Joined: 3/14/2016
Msg: 4
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/4/2019 6:34:38 PM
I try not to spend too much time talking to someone on pof. I will talk for a bit but if I see positive then I try suggesting to talk off the site and go from there.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 5
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/5/2019 9:21:51 AM
Just ask him out. Some women have asked me out on a first date / meeting. It's not a big deal. If he evades the question, claims that's he is busy without any type of counter offer, doesn't respond at all, or said "No", then move on.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 7/23/2017
Msg: 6
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/5/2019 7:08:21 PM
I used to have something in my profile about not looking for a pen pal so if I was reaching my limit of back and forth and I liked him then I might nudge. If I was undecided then I figured I wasn't interested enough to get up the energy to meet and I'd end the conversation.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 7
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/5/2019 8:01:39 PM
I would maybe email for a week or two. I do not like to do endless texting, annoyed me.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 8
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/5/2019 8:20:11 PM
yes up to you to disappear if nothing is happening re a meeting. Often they are married, not as they say they are and will never turn up. Just having fun.
Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/6/2019 9:48:21 AM
i have to say, if a lady says to me, "Well, this has been nice, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Good luck in your search!", i'm not going to take that as an offer to seduce her. i'll assume she noticed something she didn't like and is closing the door on me. petitioning for a reprive seems like just another "doesn't get it" guy.

but if she said any version of "i'm not big on email, let's me" then i'd think i still have a chance. ladies, make your nudge obvious, please.
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 10
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/7/2019 7:04:34 PM
Well, I just gave one of these guys a big hint-

He said "I'm sure your weekends are full, because so many men would like to spend time looking at your pretty face."
(rolling my eyes, here)

I replied, "No, actually I have a lot of weekends free, because so many men seem to be just looking for pen-pals, not actual dates."
 Million_Reasons
Joined: 10/23/2018
Msg: 11
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/7/2019 7:09:40 PM
^Not being critical...but a little bit of a flirty fun tact....might have been in order here for optimal results. :)
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 12
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/7/2019 8:20:58 PM
I sent an emoji with it

;)

I'm not good at hiding irritation.
 Lindatasy
Joined: 5/1/2019
Msg: 13
Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/7/2019 10:05:16 PM

At times, I've said something like "Well, this has been nice, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Good luck in your search!"
A few times, this has resulted in getting asked out immediately. Other times, I've gotten, "Ok, you too!" or similar.


I like this! I should have used this phrase in the past when I was dealing with the non-stop texters. I've also had a lot of guys disappear on me suddenly even though we were having a great conversation. Now I wonder if they were married and their wives caught them.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 14
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/8/2019 4:36:05 AM
I don't even bother texting and I make this known, before any further exchange happens.

If there is one call and a tentative date, but a stream of texts, I completely ignore. I couldn't care less what they decided to do, after that, whether it's asking me out after a stream of unwanted text messages or they move on (I'm already bored and already don't give a sh*t).

My sole interest is connecting with somebody who actually wants to talk and meet.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 15
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/8/2019 5:09:44 AM

^Not being critical...but a little bit of a flirty fun tact....might have been in order here for optimal results. :)

Flirtation has become a dead art form these days. A boom boom Washington is flirting I suppose when he says "Hi There"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUYqwR1vc5Q


i have to say, if a lady says to me, "Well, this has been nice, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Good luck in your search!", i'm not going to take that as an offer to seduce her. i'll assume she noticed something she didn't like and is closing the door on me


Or it means she wants a ride in your Mustang. Then she will be going someplace! I have had openers wanting a ride on my tank. I think knowing me, you know what my reply was :)


petitioning for a reprive seems like just another "doesn't get it" guy.

Nothing to lose though. Of the half dozen or so messages like that I ever received, ONE actually contacted me months later as if she never sent that above type message and said something like " hi , your so cute", so I had learned to ignore what is said and go by actions.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 16
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/8/2019 8:06:55 AM

I have had openers wanting a ride on my tank. I think knowing me, you know what my reply was :)


I don't know but... oh, the possibilities.
:-)
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 17
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/9/2019 7:09:27 AM
" i have to say, if a lady says to me, "Well, this has been nice, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Good luck in your search!", i'm not going to take that as an offer to seduce her. i'll assume she noticed something she didn't like and is closing the door on me----Or it means she wants a ride in your Mustang. Then she will be going someplace! I have had openers wanting a ride on my tank. I think knowing me, you know what my reply was :)"

>>>for whatever it's worth, when i used to flirt F2F, i found that if a woman gave me some variety of brush-off BUT waited to see my response, there was a chance i was getting the dreaded s-test to see if i'd turn into Senor Doormat. On the other hand, if the brush-off went with her turning away, then chances are she obviously meant what she said.

"so I had learned to ignore what is said and go by actions"

>>unfortunately, this is good advice in dealing with either gender.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 18
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/9/2019 9:30:25 AM
I often would tell tell guys from the get go "I'm not really looking to meet anyone at the moment because I'm not able to get out often to date but if you ever are bored and wanting someone to message with, feel free to send me a message." Many times, guys actually would start messaging me and it would lead to endless texts which I myself don't mind. Many times it would lead to phonecalls and then to videochat. I won't meet someone unless I've communicated with them a long while.

I try to postpone meeting as long as possible if I like someone because it feels good to be talking to someone you are interested in and I know that if we actually meet, the bubble will actually get burst because I'll find out I'm just not attracted in person or I'll see he's not into me like I am to him. I have only twice in my life ever met someone I really felt a connection with who I feel likes me back so I'm not optimistic a first meeting will go well. To be, a meeting is 99% likely to end in disappointment so why bother? A couple times I decided to meet because I figured, the guy is attractive enough and the conversations aren't too great so if I'm gonna stop talking to him anyways then I might as well meet him and maybe get some sex out of it. Or I really do like him and I connect with him so well on the phone that I feel comfortable to meet with the hopes the connection will translate to real life.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 19
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/13/2019 8:04:04 PM

if a lady says to me, "Well, this has been nice, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Good luck in your search!", i'm not going to take that as an offer to seduce her.

Very true. It's a "goodbye" -- not a "hint". One thinking that's a "hint" is just playing games. And there's decent chances that the guy probably then thought "Okay, I thought there was a good reason why I didn't pull the trigger on setting up a date. I had that feeling. Seems like she wasn't up for it anyway..."

Well, I just gave one of these guys a big hint-

Don't do hints. Don't do game-playing. It's a two-way street if you got the ball rolling in talking some, to meet up. I'll criticize men who are in your same position (even some men you you've talked to possibly) -- who are "waiting on something" to ask the gal out in some weird Mexican Standoff. But I'm going to blame both parties. Cut to the chase, don't do hints.

You can just say "Well hey [Jimmy] -- would you like to grab a drink a little later this week?" If he says "Yeah, possibly," and it's still left in the air -- you just say, "Okay, cool. I'm free on [Wed after 6] and [Thursday after 7]. Let me know soon if either of those works out, or what else does," and set the communication between you two to be all about that, instead of setting a tone to "get to know each other" via the internet.
Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/13/2019 8:47:54 PM


Very true. It's a "goodbye" -- not a "hint". One thinking that's a "hint" is just playing games.


Exactly. So much for the "OMG! Why can't people just be open, honest, and communicate directly!!" shit some of the women here incessantly clamor about.


You can just say "Well hey [Jimmy] -- would you like to grab a drink a little later this week?" If he says "Yeah, possibly," and it's still left in the air -- you just say, "Okay, cool. I'm free on [Wed after 6] and [Thursday after 7]. Let me know soon if either of those works out, or what else does," and set the communication between you two to be all about that, instead of setting a tone to "get to know each other" via the internet.


(mimicking the voice of Dr. McCoy from Star Trek)

Dammit, Jim. That's just too simple!!
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 21
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/14/2019 2:24:14 AM
I don't consider hints game playing.
Per the advice I've been given in this thread, I will be much more direct-
"If you'd like to talk on the phone/meet, let me know."
Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/14/2019 6:06:29 AM
Hints aren't game playing?? Hints are thrown at someone when one wants someone to guess what they're speaking of rather than being direct, setting up the possibility for the individual to not pick up on it, then hold it against them if they don't. If that's not game playing, I don't know what is.

I've said many times before, most women don't even realize they do it.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 23
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/14/2019 6:33:37 AM
Hints are definitely game playing.
It's better to say what you're thinking or what you mean rather than
expect people to guess via hints.

I don't take hints.
It's why I'm still here....hahahaha!
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 24
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/14/2019 8:38:13 AM
The trouble is that both parties don't want to give up their power by showing their hand. The person with more power is the one who is more into the other person. A person doesn't want to come across as needy or as falling too soon because then the other person might bolt.
 wood_smell_as_sweet
Joined: 2/20/2019
Msg: 25
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Ladies- about the endless texters/emailers-
Posted: 5/14/2019 9:28:01 AM
julystorm22, I'm not in agreement with you. The person with more power is the one who cares LESS. Look at the two cancelled date threads started by the same woman. She's fretting over his lack of interest in her. Its not the other way around.
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