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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to ge      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 fashionable33
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 2
 1ladyjewl
Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 8
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 8/22/2005 4:25:08 PM
Druid45... This sure is a refreshing post coming from a man

I personally would rather get to know the person inside. I believe a lot of people miss out on a lot when they don't bother to look inside the person. Sadly though, I think most people (men and women) are stuck on outward appearances.
 Missy
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 9
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 8/22/2005 4:33:53 PM
I like to see who I am talking to, so I like the pics. Seeing them doesn't really have anything to do with how I feel about them. Besides...the pics can be fake too...no way to really tell what the other looks like unless you see them on cam. And like someone pointed out, you learn alot by reading the profiles too.

I like to get to know the person, if he can make me laugh, he's more than half way there and if he teaches me things...even closer.

~Missy~
 Missy
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 15
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 8/22/2005 7:01:36 PM

Ted Bundy had a good looking picture. Is that what you would base your meeting on? With a guy like that? Don't be too sure about pics. They mean nothing.

Yes but, Ted was also a smooth player and we all know that smooth players are gonna get cha (almost) every time.
What happens, I think, is that we ignore the red flags we come across, that, and we take too much comfort in the information exchanged prior to a first meeting. How many people have gone further on a first face to face meeting with someone they've been talking to on the net then they would have if it were a first date with someone met the 'conventional' way? My guess is that a lot more first date sex happens with online face to face meetings than it does with traditional dating soley because people feel that they 'know' the other person so much better.
~Missy~
 1ladyjewl
Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 16
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 8/22/2005 7:02:07 PM
I totally understand people wanting to see a picture of who they are talking to. I think it's reasonable. I just don't think the image should be the deciding factor in the decision to talk to them or not. Of course I do realise that there are people here who are looking for a significant other but what about friendships?
They say that people with picures posted get more mail. I can bet I would get more without one posted. I'm not complaining just adding my 2 cents
 irish622
Joined: 2/22/2004
Msg: 17
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what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 8/22/2005 7:13:59 PM
I have to agree with you, but I must tell you I find pics very deceiving, I met a few girls that absolutley did not look like their pics at all, for the worst, and I met a few that surprised me and their pics did not do them justice, they were gorgeous, having said that, to get to know a person is the utmost way to determine a person or their compatability, I dated a girl from Ireland that moved back, and we continued it for a while, her pic was awful, she was a fabulous person, and also another pleasant surprise as she was much more attractive than her pic let on. I can honestly say, I put little value in the pic, and let my heart judge the person
 browneyedmaan
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 18
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 8/22/2005 7:54:39 PM
I want to see the persons picture to start with but followed up with a web cam view of the and chatting on web cam is the next best thing to being there. Hopefully with the chatting you can weed out the bad ones. Yes i agree you need the love the outer and inner person. There are lots of nice people out there but you have to be attracted to that person also. thanks - browneyedmaan
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 20
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what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 8/22/2005 9:57:27 PM
However big our hearts are, we are visual creatures.
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 28
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what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 8/23/2005 12:01:42 AM
If someone refuses to show me their picture, and so far I like them, I just schedule a coffee date with them as soon as possible. This cuts right through the crap about being coy about looks. And usually they bail on the date because if they're too chickensheet to show their face on line, they're too afraid of rejection to meet me in public either.

I had one of these faceless wonders cancel our first date because it was raining! He never tried to reschedule either...he knew if we met "too soon" his looks would do him in, I guess!
 drpookie
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 30
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 8/23/2005 1:33:00 AM
^^HOLY SHIT
Me:

No picture=0 emails in 45 days

6 Pictures =0 emails in 345 days

conclusion=chicks dont like chubby babyish looking guys, Im a prime example of exactly what they dont want

Tips to guys=dont look like me, if you do, give up, become gay or jump into a volcano
 irish622
Joined: 2/22/2004
Msg: 33
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what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 8/23/2005 5:13:55 AM
very well put, deception will not get anyone the relationship, or even perhaps friends, they are looking for
 Missy
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 34
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 8/23/2005 9:05:48 AM
I have 3 pics i send out..from a glam pic..to two everyday pics...which do you think gets the most replys? all are me...so i never know if that person wants to know me for me or the person in the glam photo

Its the one of your leg that got me baby ;) LOL That IS your leg...right???


However big our hearts are, we are visual creatures
very well said DC, sad but true


And Charles Manson is a good writer....

Well-written profiles can be just as much of a lie as good photos....

(except mine, of course )
LOL Calgarydude - and mine too.


I personnally i like taking the chance in getting to know that person, besides doesn't the saying go "Don't judge a book by its' cover".
and we all know the best things in life (or in books) are between the covers...right? ;)


I had one of these faceless wonders cancel our first date because it was raining! He never tried to reschedule either...he knew if we met "too soon" his looks would do him in, I guess!
this just happened to me Saturday night. My pals figure he's a married fish and his wife wouldn't let him out to play.


Me:

No picture=0 emails in 45 days

6 Pictures =0 emails in 345 days

conclusion=chicks dont like chubby babyish looking guys, Im a prime example of exactly what they dont want

Tips to guys=dont look like me, if you do, give up, become gay or jump into a volcano
baby boy, it could be because you're 18 and most of the people on this site are much older...try sending emails out to women in your age group..see if that helps.

What kills me are the people that put pics in their profiles or send via fishmail that are obviously very old. These people can't seriously be interested in meeting anyone, they're just here to play the games. If they were serious, they'd update. Come on folks its 2005 - no excuses anymore.
 Missy
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 37
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 8/23/2005 11:17:53 AM
Posts do it for me too sista Di, why do you think I asked Druid to marry me after reading his?? sigh, lol
deeds and words speak louder than pictures anyday - still its nice to see who you're talking to
 Missy
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 40
 irish622
Joined: 2/22/2004
Msg: 42
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what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 8/25/2005 10:58:08 AM
very well put, I, for a while refused to post a pic as I put no faith in them, had many woman either disappear or tell me they refuse to talk to me with no pic, and I could tell you about some stories of how deceptive they have been with their pics.
Anyway, I completely agree with you, women these days put everything into looks.....
 Tigress
Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 48
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 7/24/2007 7:50:59 PM
I think that both are equally important. What if you are talking to someone for a long time and the two of you are getting along great, and then... you finally get a photo or meet the person for real, and they are a Troll???

OR, you are knocked off your feet by a person's photograph, but they don't have anything interesting to say, don't have anything in common with you, have a bad attitude, or can barely spell well enough to communicate with you???

You have to connect mentally AND have a physical attraction for it to work.
 cuspofgemini
Joined: 10/29/2005
Msg: 54
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 12/18/2007 6:25:08 AM
MOST people on dating sites are usually looking for some type of physical/sexual relationship. For me, sex is a very intimate and sensual experience. If there is no physical attraction in any way at all, the sex part will NEVER happen. I don't care how great your "personality" is. We all have a certain type of person that we are attracted to in a visual sense. What I find attractive in a man may be the complete opposite of what some other women find attractive in a man.
For me, there also has to be a strong emotional connection. If it's not there, the sex will NEVER happen.
Why meet a man when you know right off the bat that he's not your type?
I don't get it.
 jf468
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 65
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 2/8/2008 3:36:39 PM
A picture gives a broad idea of what a person looks like, but you can't always determine how good looking a person is from some pictures. Unless a man was completely not my physical type, I would not rule him out based on some pictures. Therefore I would say getting to know a person is more important. Then I would find out his personality, interests, values, beliefs etc.
 judyarlinepuckett
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 68
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what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 2/9/2008 1:54:35 PM
Photographs;

Pictures give a person a idea of who you are,not just in the obvious,as in attractive,
but things such as friendly eyes,and a confident smile.
They say a photograph is worth a thousand words,
the words are important too,
giving your thoughts and views.
Don't be shy about a picture,
it's not a contest.
it's just another way of giving
a person a insight to
you as a person,
and a potential friend...
 o1217
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 74
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 2/9/2008 3:53:56 PM
Heck Reality Most need some sort of attraction but in the end personality does over rule. At our age, taking a chance on words is not reality.
 J.R.0950
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 75
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 2/9/2008 4:04:59 PM
picture for me,if you arent attracted to someone youre not going to want to get to know them,not in a relationship type situation anyways,but its equally important that they`re a good person inside as well.
 StarliteKisses
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 82
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what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 2/22/2008 7:07:26 AM
When I first started using dating sites, I too thought it superfacial to not consider profiles without pictures. Then I realized that while writing these men, I was forming my own image of what they looked like.....and my image never mirrored what they truly looked like....needless to say I was always disappointed. So now I like to know what I am dealing with from the get-go. And yes, that IS part of the attraction. For me....no picture....no reply.

~Sexy Vixen 4u~
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 90
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 2/22/2008 10:21:40 AM
Since these threads just will NOT quit showing up, gonna repeat this at least one more time, lol!

We have FIVE senses; ONE brain; ONE soul. All of the five senses do NOT equal half a brain or half a soul. To let 1/5th of a lesser important sub-set of who I am do the picking? Not going to happen *for me* ~~

Perhaps, the rest of ya'll need to ask yourselves if the picture thang is werking so well for you, why are you still on PoF, still looking. . . .

Good luck. . . .

 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 93
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 2/22/2008 10:46:04 AM
If all of you were truthful, you would agree.


Nope. I met my last SO after a year on a blog with no pics. We began emailing, and I was in love before I'd seen a pic. By the time we met, he could have looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, and it wouldn't have mattered. It lasted until he died.

I've responded three times on PoF to guys with no pics. Two are good friends, and one is the fella I'm in love with. Did not see a picture of him until I knew there was a very good chance I'd fall in love with him. And *never* asked for a picture at all.

I'll repeat: NOT GONNA LET MY EYES DO THE PICKING!!!!


 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 97
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what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 2/25/2008 11:07:15 PM
I met the fellow I love on PoF... he didn't have a pic available. We got to know each other really well through IM, email, phone before we met each other.

It was exciting to do a "blind date". He had, I think, more at stake in not having a pic available than I had. He faced rejection based on *looks* because there certainly was a chance I might have taken one look at him and said "ugh, sorry, but no." We both faced the potential disappointment of the amazing "virtual world" connection we'd developed not being able to make the leap into the real world.

Neither of these potential negatives are life threatening... so why not go for it?!
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