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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > why is it so hard to find the right person...?      Home login  
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 sleepless_in_Newmarket
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 2
why is it so hard to find the right person...?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Your photos are rather suggestive. That always brings out the horndogs. If you use that bait, you will get that fish. But I have a feeling the nicer guys on here would not appeal to you, anyway. You have that party girl look.
 ramcharger
Joined: 6/5/2004
Msg: 5
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History
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 9/13/2005 8:25:09 PM
Sandi, take it up a notch raise the stick and stop looking, relax in your own skin a while and explore things a bit, when you catch your breath you might catch the right one looking.
Sex is great but its not all every guy wants, lol well sometimes!!

 sleepless_in_Newmarket
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 15
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 9/13/2005 8:52:56 PM
I missed the opening line, "want a badboy..."

Your pictures advertise yourself as a bimbo, and your headline says "mistreat me".

Ah, the cycle of life continues...
 ramcharger
Joined: 6/5/2004
Msg: 16
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History
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 9/13/2005 8:57:43 PM
Dayuum you can feel the fargin love in this room!

Dont sweat it gurl, youve got a lot going on, when you start changing yourself to meet someone you both wind up lost.

 sleepless_in_Newmarket
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 18
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 9/13/2005 9:07:17 PM
Whether you are a bimbo or not is irrelevant. You advertise yourself as such. I'm a guy, and that is my opinion by looking at your sex kitten pictures - especially the one hi-lighting your cleavage and the pouting come hither shots. Don't play coy.

You can't expect to say to all the guys out there, "Look at sexy me!" then talk about all your tattoos and body piercings in your profile, and really nothing else, then complain about the horndogs contacting you. At 19, you just are not old enough to realize what you're doing and how all this plays out. Take it from someone older.
 sleepless_in_Newmarket
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 21
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 9/13/2005 9:21:36 PM
lol well that's your opinion, not mine. talking about tattoos and peircings doesnt make a girl a whore/slut/bimbo/etc...


You keep missing the point. It is not what you are that matters, it is the perception. And that is the perception. So you end up with the horndogs, the very thing you posted this thread to complain about. And by posting this thread you explicitly asked for opinion as to how to avoid that. So I am giving it to you and you don't want to hear it.
 iowaniceguy1
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 30
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 9/14/2005 12:26:30 AM
I think it is so hard to find that right person cause sometimes females go by looks on a guy and how build he is. I don't judge people at all. Everyone is different in many ways. No one is perfect at all. I still havn't found that special someone.
 sleepless_in_Newmarket
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 47
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 9/15/2005 6:15:01 AM
You still don't get it yet. So I have to repeat myself. Again. Whether you are a whore or not is irelevant. What part of that statement do you not understand? Your profile gives that impression. What part of that statement do you not understand? That is why you get the response you do. But you don't want to accept that. You come on here posting a thread to complain, but you don't want to take the advice you're given because your pride gets in the way. So why ask for advice? You only want to hear advice that blames others, you don't want to hear any advice the puts the blame on your profile. So guess what? You will continue to get inundated with horndogs because you are too proud to choose classier photos and write a classier profile.

At 19, all I can say is you have a lot of learning to do. But you will have a rough love life along the way. At 38, you will be a completely changed person from what you are now.
 sleepless_in_Newmarket
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 50
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 9/15/2005 7:47:11 AM
Michael take your nose out of her ass for a second. Nobody called anybody a slut. Her profile, both pictures and words, attract the horndogs she says she loathes. She needs to change her profile to attract better fish. I have explained this to her three times and she still says, like you, "I am not a slut". That is not the accusation. I have said from the beginning. Her profile however would suggest she is just out for a good time. It needs to change if she continues to complain about the fish she's getting.
 sleepless_in_Newmarket
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 57
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 9/15/2005 3:19:17 PM
Sorry Michael, you don't get it yet either. Are you and Sandi related, because you seem to not understand a word I'm telling you. Put your anger and attitude on hold and read the thread again. I gave her good advice and never called her a slut. So don't be making accusations based upon what you THINK I'm saying. That's what the OP did. You just don't like it because you think I'm being "overbearing". Who cares. You're not doing your friend any service by deflecting proper criticism away from her profile unto someone who knows better and is telling her so. That don't fly. My orignal post simply said that her photos were suggestive. From that, our little friend escalated to charges of slut-calling and the rest. I don't give bullshit, but I also don't take bullshit, either.
 water32
Joined: 4/16/2005
Msg: 64
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 9/15/2005 8:23:23 PM
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Maybe the time is not enough.
Maybe is lucky.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 76
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 10/14/2012 8:11:33 PM

why is it so hard to find the right person...?

Because if it's too easy, we won't appreciate it when it happens, that's why. It's got to be significant enough to be different from the usual slew of dates...if it were easy we'd be bored with it, believe that.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 78
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 10/15/2012 5:35:53 AM
If you're suffering, then you're placing too much importance on it. You're trying too hard. While finding someone you click with is nice, it's not a requirement for happiness or good living. If you're programmed to think you are lesser without a certain someone else and you believe it - then you'll likely seek it out to the point where you'll keep looking even during times when the options aren't there.

You can try so hard that you start repelling good prospects for the vibe you're projecting.

Live life, enjoy it and stay open to meeting and learning about people in all capacities. The rest usually just falls into place.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 81
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 10/15/2012 1:11:07 PM

True...still, it basically is a requirement for happiness and good living in this society.

According to who? A bunch of people who don't live your life?

Hell, in earlier communities in history, the unmarried were looked at as freaks because for whatever reason they were looked at as violating one of the commune's (because these villages essentially were communes) conventions.

1. Who cares what happened years ago?
2. Who cares what others think of things that don't concern them?

It was very taboo to be single, which to them implied fundamental problems. It's not all that different today.

Where do you live? It's not a problem in the northeast that I can see - unless you're raised by people who try to program you to think you're missing something if you're single. Why cave to the propaganda? We're all likely to be single many times in life as well as not single - it's part of the path we walk. You can either dread it and treat it like a punishment when it happens, or shrug it off and realize you're the same person you were when you were involved. The only thing that matters is your mindset about it.
 afreshbeginning
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 84
view profile
History
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 10/15/2012 4:30:47 PM
I used to think it would be easy to find the right person, but now that I have been a single member of POF for over six years and have only gotten one girl to go on a date, she got pregnant by another guy about a month later...

So that said I obviously have not had the amount of success many others claim to have had on here. So how do you find that right person, hell how do you even get a woman to reply to you on here?

Still looking for the answers to these questions myself...
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 87
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 10/16/2012 6:42:16 AM

One simply can't live a life completely devoid of not considering others' opinions;

I can when it comes to my "love" life and who - if anyone, I date. If I want opinions on that or anything else - I'll ask people I trust to give me good information.

I mean, a person would have no frame of reference to conduct themselves. To an extent, that does matter but I guess that's a whole other discussion.

It is a whole other discussion - I'm talking marital or dating status here, not all of human nature and behaviorism. Your dating habits and how often you're single, whether or not you get married, and how many kids you have is YOUR personal preference only. It simply doesn't concern others. THEIR marital status is their concern. People will often project their fears and idealism on others though as they see it as indirectly personal to them. That's not your problem...if it's not what you really want, why consider it?

I imagine with your bitter post that you're one of those eternally single folk;

Can you tell me which part of what I posted exactly was bitter and to what end? Thanks - then I can respond to it. P.S. I have never been married, and don't plan to be - so in that sense yes I'll be eternally single. I've been in enough relationships to be fine with it if it works for me. If it doesn't, I don't try to stay in it and force things for fear of being single again - that's all.

only the forever alone talk about the propaganda of relationships.

It is relationship propaganda to fear that what others preach to you will be gospel. What that has to do with dating on your own terms, I don't know - but you go ahead and connect the two. The side effect of that, of course is to worry you won't fit into the box you've been programmed to think you belong in. Which brings us full circle - if that's what gets you out of bed in the morning that's fine. I was just pointing out that what you've been taught is the way it should be tends to come from your environment and upbringing, not from any solid fact or research.

That's just pot-smoking liberalism to me.

If it is liberal to think that you should conduct your love life your way even if society doesn't agree, forgive me. I guess when it comes to relationships I am pretty liberal. My mistake. How about: if you're not married and with two kids by the time you're 30, you're unworthy and you're contributing nothing to society. Is that better?

The good ones are always single. Simply put.

In order to get into a healthy relationship you have to be content with not being in one but open to one should it develop. No one wants the job of having to complete someone that's lost without a partner. Only a small amount of people out there will ever understand or master that one.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 88
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 10/16/2012 8:36:03 AM
It really doesn't matter if u put granny sweater on or not. I changed my pics so many times last time I was here. This time I used professionally done pics of means it seems no to be making any difference. Even if guy says he will behave he won't went on one meet/ date and he went for touching boobs so I just left and drive off. Rest of them email me for hook ups. Texting man is pointless they don't ever text back or if they do they not interested. I wasn't in real relationship in over 3 yrs. first two yrs I devoted to trying find man in old way coffee place store veg stand friends get together social event just to find out they r there with gf or r married or engaged. As this yr approached I tried here but no one is I retested I. Being in relationship with me. They just want to get some. I took some time of from here after about 6 mo with great disappointment. Now I'm back and so far begening is worse that previous time. My mail box stays empty even on weekends. 3 yrs of being single really got to me by now. I think I already tried all stuff myself and just wish I could share my life with someone else. Bu I think that is where we run I to all that completions girl looks better is taller more educated. So I get to loose to barbies with phd. Really don't know anymore. Just finding someone at this point will equal with mirracle
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 90
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 10/16/2012 3:27:53 PM

It's easy for women to meet guys. Women have so many offers. Most guys would kill to have the amount of offers women get. Women don't realize how lucky they are

No one coming to you, or 100 of the wrong ones coming to you. Same difference. You're still single (which isn't a bad thing, but you understand my point). The only reason this would matter is either so that you can feel desirable from the illusion of having options, or so that you can have people hanging around on a whim to bide your time with until someone you actually want comes along.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 92
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 10/16/2012 3:42:05 PM
Message: I used to think it would be easy to find the right person, but now that I have been a single member of POF for over six years and have only gotten one girl to go on a date, she got pregnant by another guy about a month later...

So that said I obviously have not had the amount of success many others claim to have had on here. So how do you find that right person, hell how do you even get a woman to reply to you on here?

Still looking for the answers to these questions myself...


When u find the answer let me know. Never meet no one who would want a relationship with me. What am I talking about I got to go out with only one person from here and Unfortunally the only reson he asked me was to get some. My mail is simply even of weekend and guy on here don't reply if u msg them so yeah I would like to I is what happend
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 99
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 10/17/2012 5:55:42 PM
Well I but u guys send msgs like hey want some drinks and fun with hot Italian cop? Really. I would rather someone who is a lil less in love with himself. Nobody says that I'm looking for unemployment man living home for free but u don't have to be rich or hot but treat me right. That's all I want
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 101
why is it so hard to find the right person...?
Posted: 10/18/2012 6:17:13 PM
Online I have found that you should go the middle road. Don't strip your profile down to having absolutely no photos or references of bringing home the bacon. Also don't make it look like you are "ballin out of control" either.

This is a sentiment I have heard a time or two.

"I’ve dated men with money and without and have often found that guys with money have an overwhelming sense of entitlement. You’re never that special to them because they think they can get any woman they want. Now I’m trying to find someone in the middle: Someone with a decent income but who is a nice guy."

Out in the real world I don't make passes from the seat of the Maserati or rolling down the block trying to yell through my helmet and over the loud pipes on the Ducati. So in reality out in the real world clothes, style, manners and bit of swagger work since they get the feeling you can make ends meet just by how driven you seem.
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