Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > how to detect liars.........???      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 2
view profile
History
how to detect liars.........???Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
A good way to avoid liars is not hang out with people who drink a lot period. Second, DONT TRUST ANYONE farther than you can throw them. Dont leave your cash on the counter, dont lend them your car, dont buy him a cellphone, WEAR CONDOMS.

You can also run a police background check, My GF did.....

After you have been "hanging out" and getting to know each other, you should be able to tell whats up with him, THERE WILL BE NOTHING TO LIE ABOUT, cause YOU KNOW THE FACTS. Finally, 3 STRIKES AND YOUR OUT. 3 little lies, 3 mistakes, 3 "misunderstandings", 3 missed dates, etc and dump him or her.
 Knight Rider
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 5
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 9/23/2005 12:14:09 AM
Get used and hurt enough and it's real easy to tell if their feeding you a pile
of bull!!!

And this getting someone drunk senerio is bull too,I'm a good natured fellow,and
the only difference in me when I'm sober or drunk,is I can't stand up when I have
to many!!!!
 Knight Rider
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 7
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 9/23/2005 12:32:36 AM
If you see a mans lips move, he's lying.

now that was mean!!!!! I may not know when to shut up,but it sure don't mean
I'm lying!!!
 Knight Rider
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 13
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 9/23/2005 7:51:34 AM
womannotsubstance,I have to tell ya,some of what you said is true,but must
disagree with the ending!

Church gowers are not necasarely honest,half the people that go to church are
hypacrites!But i'm not touching that one,wrong thread!

To get back to what you said,saying most men are lyers is wrong,some men and some
women,not most or not all!

Liars existe just as much in one sex as much as the other,and I'm fairly honest when it comes to friendship and relationships,and I would not lie to gain someones trust or respect!

Knight Rider!
 DeagleNINja
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 15
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 9/23/2005 2:26:31 PM
Deagle's Tips To Catch A Liar...

1) Does he/she lie about little things such as the time they are going into/getting off from work? So called 'little-white-lies' usual indicate that someone has a pattern of deception woven around them and is a habitual liar.
2)Watch their eyes. Many people can't help but avoid eye contact when they are about to lie. Others know this rule of thumb and will lock their eyes onto yours in an unblinking stare to 'prove' they are telling the truth. Look out for both.
3)When a question is posed for you and the potential liar, do they usually insist that you answer first? This is another sign of a habitual liar. They are always trying to have the more interesting experience so they must first hears yours to make theirs better.
4)Do they always blame others for problems in their life? Someone who isn't honest with themselves can hardly be honest with anyone else.
5)Is there always some kind of excuse for problems in their life? Same as number 4, he/she isn't facing reality.


I've known quite a few habitual liars in my life so I've noticed a few patterns to look for. These people need help, don't hate them, just pity them. I used to have a 'friend' that always had a more interesting story than me or anyone in our circle of friends. Finally I got fed up one day and told him just how full of shit he was and what an ass he looked like lieing to everyone that knew him. I honestly thought he was going to cry right there in front of me, but he quickly left.

He and many others these days honestly believe most of the crap they spew. They get so caught up in their lies that they often forget how ordinary their real lives are and it terrifies them. Their self image is NOTHING like the way the world sees them. I wish I had a dollar for every 100 pound 18 year that walked around like a 'hardcore killa', thinking he was the MAN as people laughed at him as soon as he was out of earshot. Same thing goes for women, there are a lot of average or below average looking women who act like we men should be worshiping them as the goddesses they are.

To these sad people image and attitude are what matters, substance has no meaning for them.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 26
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 9/24/2005 7:33:26 AM

Since there are many liars, we meet them everyday.We can't avoid them., right? but how will you know if they are lying?...any tips to share? only way i know is when he's drunk, he'll tell me everything he feels and truth comes out.


Whoever said actions speak louder than words, defintiely knew what they were talking about. People can say anything, but if their actions don't back up what they're saying, then they're not being honest.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 37
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 9/24/2005 2:19:57 PM

And if the pcitures don’t look anything like them in person … that is a pretty good indication


You got it...if they're starting out with a lie, then don't expect things to get more honest.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 38
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 9/24/2005 2:22:58 PM

Find out if they drink Alcohol or use Drugs.
Alcohol is used by people to hide from themselves and to hide themselves from mates.
The number one reason for deceit, lying and divorce in western society is Alcohol. Alcohol also removes you from your conscious contact with god as you understand it.


Not necessarily true...people lie for many reasons: insecurity, lack of self-esteem, fear people won't like them for who they really are, etc. Alcohol/drugs can cause people to lie, but they're not the only reasons...nor are they the only reasons for divorce...and I find it hard to believe that alcohol/drugs are the number one reason for deceit, lying and divorce. Do you have evidence (studies) to back that up? I'd be interested in seeing them.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 43
view profile
History
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 10/3/2005 10:41:26 PM
they're ones who make excuses. after excuses.
the will eventually get caught.

take what they say as "truth" then check up on it. ASK QUESTIONS!!!

if their car is missing, ask why? ask where it was? how it got there? who took it? and so on.
if they wont tell you, they're trying to hide something. act on whatever they give you to see/verify if its correct.

liars also tell lies to cover lies to cover lies. and won tell you the rest. they tell you things that disadvantage you. They do things to hurt you.
 Mako715
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 45
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 10/4/2005 12:54:33 AM
Probably the only proven way to find out if a person is a liar or not is to know the person, I mean realy KNOW the person! If you get to know someone you will find out very quickly if he/she is a pathological liar or not, that is it. No proven method (though looking in their eyes is a great tell) works 100% of the time. I've known a few liars, but just because someone lies a whole lot doesn't make them a terrible person, there are reasons sometimes. Also I've known people who are very trustworthy, but are the first to rip out your heart, spit on it, then squish it into the ground in front of your eyes! The worst type of people... not the pathological liars, but the ones who lie on the big issues! KNOW the person and you will KNOW when they lie, if not they will hurt you again and again.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 50
view profile
History
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 9:23:31 AM
Hook them up to a 12 volt battery by their nipples when you ask them the question and tell them they'll get ZAPPED if they lie!!!!

Works EVERY TIME!!!
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 52
view profile
History
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/24/2007 12:10:33 PM
the liars that I have met did a lot of the following:

1) If you have a story they've been there done that but it was FAR more impressive when they did it.

2) complain about how much they hate liars. Complain about certain people who the claim are liars themselves.

3) Like to use the word "honestly" at the beginning or end of a sentence.

4) Tell you how honest they are. And faithful.

5) Brag.

6) Repeatedly tell stories like "Oh yeah so that person and that person were screwed right up and its a good thing I was there to save the day cuz they didn't know what they were doing blah blah blah"

#6 was probably the most common in my experience.

One girl in my city is well-known for being the biggest tramp and liar around - she's on pof and her profile states the following:

I am an honest,loyal person(if I'm with someone, I'm with someone), I don't cheat, or lie, when I am shown respect I give respect in return,...

as soon as I see something like that, no matter who it is, I begin to suspect the opposite.
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 73
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 6/27/2007 8:38:36 AM
Trust your instinct for starters. Apply the Duck Test. Pay attention to Signs and Signals

Patterns of behavior reveal liars: Pattern analysis is the key. What do they do, when and how and Why? Do their explanations make sense? The duck test - walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck -- it is a fricken DUCK.

Look for and notice inconsistencies and contradictions in behavior, what is said, and what is said vs what is actually done. Is there a pattern - a recurrent pattern? Look for, notice and take note of efforts to have unaccounted for time - turning out he/she was not where they said they would be and for omission of information that turns up by accident (it is easier to leave out information than to lie),

Are they only available by cell phone - no matter where she or he is ? (yes some people only have cell phones these days) but they work somewhere. Are they only available between 8:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. on the cell phone or any phone? They can never be contacted at work - Oh Really?

Regular people can be contacted most any time (those that are not lying) Those that are lying about being in another relationship, being married, having a job, etc. often cannot be contacted just any old time - how's that work?) Can he or she be contacted late at night by telephone - by a non cell phone?

Cease rationalizing his/her behavior - quit excusing his or her inconsistencies and contradictions, turn on the BS detection meter, apply the duck test - be skeptical.

He is on business trips and hunting/fishing trips and can NEVER be contacted - even by cell phone --- hmmmmm? Really now?

Joe
 crooked_clown
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 81
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:18:22 AM
Have you never lied in your life bahaha i find that hard to belive!
What are you Jesus?
Youve lied your self before so just look back to that and use it to help you see a liar!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 86
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:40:34 AM
When someone tells you a story, then instantly adds onto it, then adds more, and finally it sounds a little too good to be true.

For example, I mentioned a place to a coworker of mine. He said, "Oh, yeah, I know the place. In fact I know the owner. I should call him, though, I'm storing a Mercedes Benz of his at my garage."

Now, is this a lie, a bullshyter, or....? It could be the truth, but it makes me keep an ear open for the next story I hear. When someone has to brag in order to tell me something...they could be telling me the truth, but its not a bad thing to have a healthy skeptism, either.

Its not so much we get taken in by lies, its that we hope something is there we could give to our own selves, and so we fall for what we hear, when if we heard it from someone else...we'd question it. Try not to look to be impressed by your new partner, try to get to know them, instead. If there is more show than substance....then you may have found a liar who lies to cover up that lack of substance.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 87
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:43:56 AM
"Liars will usually throw the ball into your court. For example, if they accuse you of having an affair, you can bet your bottom dollar it is THEM having an affair."

>>>Quite valid. Our behavior is the behavior we are most used to, experienced with, etc. So, if we see someone faced with an opportunity, we ASSUME they will do what we would do, because we are most used to how we handle things, rather than become less ego-centric, learn about other people, and understand what makes them tick.

So, this has nothing to do with this topic, but when people accuse you of things you haven't done...you're getting a good idea of what they would do, or have done.
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 97
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/4/2007 7:57:37 AM
Yes - blondeandhappy - you are correct nothing is full proof in detecting lies. If you lived the 6 weeks over again - I bet you would detect the BIG LIE much sooner. With all the advice and suggestion here - you would now be better armed.

But I know what you mean... as I have told before - my long term g/f of many years lied about taking up a relationship with another man. I confronted her, told her what I thought I knew - she denied all. Then I showed her a love letter she had written in her hand with her signature - an original - not a copy --- she still denied it. -- amazing - simply amazing.

Joe
 Hot Buttered Soul
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 102
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/4/2007 10:43:38 AM
To be honest.. I always watch how people treat other people... If I see them lying to others.. I know they will lie to me.

Remember.. especially in the initial stages of a courtship.. people tend to say the perfect things..
 Christian seeks Christian
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 108
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/5/2007 11:07:35 AM
read www.lovefraud.com
and
www.howtospotadangerousman.blogspot.com
Great sites, lots of great info.
Good Luck
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 114
view profile
History
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/6/2007 11:10:28 AM
^ if a girl asks how her arse looks in jeans she better expect an honest answer. :)

The liars I've encountered often tell stories that are meant to impress - the elements in each tale are taken to the extreme. If they say they were in a car accident, it will be no ordinary accident, their car was so destroyed you couldn't even make out what it was - they were lucky to be alive. And if the tale does not seem to impress, they often throw in more things to spice it up - and then the car burst into flames or it was a pile-up. Liars rarely have minor fender benders.
 astimartini
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 115
view profile
History
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/7/2007 4:10:40 AM
If my lips are moving, it's probably because I'm about to cry.
"Why can't you believe me? I really was abducted by aliens".
Keep a stiff upper, young man.
 dabigfishguy
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 117
view profile
History
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/7/2007 7:31:13 AM
Yeah... true that(re: achilles). I'd like to add that body language does tell a lot. And the reason politicians are hard to catch in a lie is because they are "trained to lie".

I discussed this with a guy who has an awesome website about dating. He may seem pretty blunt there, but he got some solid advice there. check it out at http://www.freakydater.com . He knows a lot about human psychology, al though he may seem like an absolute ass.

I know one thing that is pretty true in most cases:

People who fold their hands or arms together while talking, are usually hiding something.

People who are constantly looking you in the eyes, trying to convince you in such way aren't always honest either.

People that can't even look 1 second straight into your eyes, may have some problems with the truth too.

And so there are many more, also described in this thread already.

Having that said, some people are just nervous and have these character trades by themselves. Or they have some confidence problems and fold their hands or arms together because they feel safer in that way. Or, or, or. So many reasons and factors involved... that you gotta do an entire study about it to get your facts straight.
 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 124
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/7/2007 10:07:33 PM
Give them some time before you do anything or trust them with anything you may be sorry for later. See if their actions matches their words on a consistant basis. They have to be a really good lier to tell the same lie twice.... and carefully watch their body language while they are talking to you.
 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 132
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/8/2007 6:42:45 AM
How do you weed out the jerks?? They lie to you to try to get what they want as quickly as they can..... Most of the time you will find that if some guy is giving you any attention at all, they are trying to get something from you for their own benefit - it is usually sex with guys.. maybe it is something else for women... They will do anything and play any game they can to get what they want if they want it badly enough.. and most guys have to have sex before eating to live.

One sure way is to tell them you will only meet in public for the first 2 or 3 times you see them. I was talking to one in here last night. He told me I was a great person right away.. first red flag... I could see the conversation leading to sex talk - asking when I 'did it' last...second red flag!!! Sometimes guys wait until they talk to you a second time before they try to find out how 'lucky' they will get when they are finally able to convince you to meet them, so before I call them or let them have my phone number, I chat with them fo 2 or 3 times which is usually quite enough time to figure it out. Most of these idiots want to talk on the phone right away. They think that if they can talk to you on the phone, they will have a better chance to convince you to meet them and try to find a way to get sex and then make you think it was your idea. Some guys are REALLY good at that! As soon as I told him he wouldn't get to meet me in private right away, he blocks me... DO YOU HAVE TO WONDER WHY??? I don't need any more proof to know what he is up to.. the same as 99.9% of the guys in places like this. He is another one of he hundreds of millions of jerks/players in here and if I met him in person like he wanted, he would TRY to play his game with me and I would never hear from him again. I save myself so much time by using this trick... and it works for me every time. I know how to get rid of these idiots in seconds.

TIME is the only way to know if someone is a lier or not.. TIME is the a sure way to weed out the jerks.. and most of the time you only need a few minutes to figure them out. They are in a hurry to 'get some' so they don't waste any time trying to find out if he is going to be successful with you.
 TroyMcLure
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 133
how to detect liars.........???
Posted: 7/8/2007 7:50:38 AM
sodium pentathol...
ask them questions you already know the answer to ..... heh heh
the fact is that it is hard for a person to device a test for a respondent that is smarter than the author.... and that is why 50% of marriages fail ........

sodium pentathol...
ask them questions you already know the answer to ..... heh heh
the fact is that it is hard for a person to device a test for a respondent that is smarter than the author.... and that is why 50% of marriages fail ........
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > how to detect liars.........???