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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > do men actually exist that date women with kids??      Home login  
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 CanisLupusFan
Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 5
do men actually exist that date women with kids??Page 1 of 122    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Oddly enough I find that it goes the other way around. I have found a lot of guys will go up and talk to a single mom. But if i go somewhere with my daughter every girl out there assumes that her mom is close by and that I'm off the market. Are caring fathers that rare to create such a stigma around them. Either it's a deadbeat dad or somebody elses man.
 gossp
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 6
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 6:28:22 PM
If your there with your daughter, your no deadbeat. Aside from that little bit of support.. your absolutely right, and we've got a tough row to hoe.
 CoffeeCanuck
Joined: 7/30/2005
Msg: 20
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 11:46:27 PM
I think it is more difficult to be in a relationship when you or your partner has kids. I myself made the decision not to date seriously while raising my son. It's not the right decision for everyone but it was the best one for us. I watched a close friend who was a single mom bring different guys home and expose her daughter to these guys who really didnt care about her. I made the decision not to parade men through my home and I dont regret it. I did meet a single dad of five kids who I really liked. He was very good looking, had a home and job, but man were his kids in need of some guidance. One day we were discussing potty training and he told me he had no problems training his kids. If they 'went' in their pants he took them and put them in a cold bath. That was the last straw, I lost a lot of respect for him. Bottom line was they were not my kids and we had such differing views on parenting that it never would have worked. I've seen the 'odd' relationship work out, but it's very rare. I truly believe that if you have young kids and decide to date, it's best not to introduce your kids and your date untill things look like they may be getting serious. I know I'm in a minority with my way of thinking, but like I said, it's a choice I made and one I dont regret.
 wonwascallywabbit
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 23
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/28/2005 5:42:18 AM
Yep we're around. I have two kids myself so why not date someone with kids too. At least they understand why you can't go out every night. Best of luck in your search.
 Berdusk
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 36
Comments from the Peanut Gallery
Posted: 9/29/2005 9:52:07 AM
I've perused this forum enough to know that a lot of what I have to say has already been said. Nevertheless, I feel the need to share what I've drawn from my own experience.

I think it would be a lie if I were to say that I'd be willing to date a woman with three children. Two would give me pause. One I can handle. I'd also be a little concerned about dating a woman with no children, because as was stated earlier, a woman with a child understands the complexity of life after children. Why do I feel this way?

Ideally, I would like to date someone who has one daughter. I dare not say this aloud, of course, because it leads you to think things which are simply not true. I have a daughter of my own. My thought is that a boy and a girl should not share the same bedroom while growing up. If things were ever to get serious, that would mean the difference between a three bedroom apartment and a two bedroom. I know, it's kind of a cold perspective, but it is also practical one. I assure you, I am not a cold-hearted SOB.

There is also the factor of developing attachment, as previously mentioned. Before she met me, my Ex had two children from previous relationships. We were married, and I was the only stable father figure in their lives. It wasn't my objective to take on that role - some step-parents expect the children to call them 'Mom' or 'Dad' even though this is not who they are. Austin and Elizabeth called me by my name: Daniel. When my Ex and I were divorced, I had no rights.

There is also the hurtful things they sometimes say when they see you again: they try to push you away because they don't want to get hurt again, much in the same way that you were hurt at the end of the relationship. In my case, I was told by Austin that he liked my Ex's new boyfriend better. Though I knew that he didn't mean it, it still stung.

Lastly, there is also the issue of combining the children of both parents, and both parents, into a new family unit. A few examples of this has already been given. I don't know about the rest of you, but when I start dating someone I want it to become a lasting relationship. That's why the idea of dating someone with two or more children gives me pause - I'm trying to look at the future. I don't want to go through the pain of divorce ever again.
 Berdusk
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 41
Comments from the Peanut Gallery
Posted: 9/29/2005 10:37:57 AM
If the chicks dig it so much, why am I **HERE**? :p
 Berdusk
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 43
Comments from the Peanut Gallery
Posted: 9/29/2005 10:41:08 AM
Midland, Michigan. Probably about a half-hour west of Saginaw.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 45
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/29/2005 2:16:54 PM
Not only did I date a woman with a kid, I ended up marrying her and raising her son for the next 14 years happily. So yes, there are still some of us men out here that will date women with kids. I did it once and would certainly do it again. It is difficult I can imagine to find agrea guy willing to take on a situation like that, but if you find one and he treats you and the kid(s) good then that is just proof and a win-win situation.
 mariposa
Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 51
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/30/2005 10:38:28 AM
I applaude all of you single parents who are careful about dating. I thank you for putting your child(ren)'s well being first.
There is another single parent in my office and we both cry on each other's shoulders and try to give encouragement. I try to be positive for the both of us and tell her, "hey, the right guy is just around the corner. In the meantime, I will love on my kids and help them to become strong, stable adults."
 Rayden1493
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 53
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/30/2005 12:35:52 PM
Yes we do... In fact there are tons of us out here. Granted some of them are not the nicest of people but hey its all in the selection process- now this is the part here Ladies that baffles most of us lol... I may be no Brad Pitt, but I feel greatabout myself and honestly it does not bother me in the least that a woman who I could be seeing has children. I am a single father myself and have had the time of my life so far !!

Anyways, just to answer your question.....
Yes we are here lol
 Rayden1493
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 54
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/30/2005 1:33:53 PM
I would like to definitely agree with that... That is my biggest worry is my child being hurt in any way... I do somewhat the same thing- but then again have only really dated a few times over the last few years.. Just haven't found her yet is all...

Very well put BTW... and nice to see someone with a great point of view on the issue.
 sexyladie
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 57
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 10/10/2005 12:14:32 PM
Yes there are men out there who date females with kids. Me and my fiancee been together for 5years now and when we meet I had a 3 year old son and a 3 month old daughter at the time, it's 5 years later were still together with 2 kids of our own. So yes it's men out there.
 jaberwokey
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 60
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/1/2005 7:57:30 AM
if I were a single parent, then my view would change.

however as a single, never married, guy with no kids, I can tell you, I would tread very cautiously if a woman with children showed romantic intrest in me if she were anything
other then a widow or dumped by her bf/x-husband.

Why?

First of all.. If she left HIM, then that means there is a guy out there who
lost his love and has schedule visitation times to see his kid.

So anyway here we are with this scnario where a guy is pissed that
his wife stopped loving him, and now he's stuck seing his kids once/twice a week.

He's paying alimony, he's paying child support. He's semi broke now because of it and
living in a small apartment instead of the house he's paying for his wife and kids to live in.

Now here I come in, dating his x-wife.. that he wishes he could patch things up with.
She tells him that I'm moving in and we will be getting married next may.

Yeah.. I really want to be the object of THAT guys rage. Just my luck he's 6' 2" 270 lbs,
and has a mean right hook. "You basterd, you keep away from my family!"


It's not worth it. There are plenty of single women who wouldn't come with that
fun filled package.
 LuvmySon
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 61
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/1/2005 9:48:12 AM
Well, I hear people say yes to this question but in my exprience the answer is no. They either want to move too quick or get to you throuygvh your kid. Using it against you. Telling you they care about your son or spending time with you and your child and starting a relationship with your child. It scares me and I don't know how to deal with it so I am pretty much not dating anymore just friends Ill date when Jerrin moves out Because I don't want to mess up his life and get him confused.
 jaberwokey
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 71
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/2/2005 7:28:22 AM
working is part of life. Don't give me that crapola that you have to miss work to spend time
with your children. Unless you have a job that requires you to work odd hours or very long hours, you can visit with your family. I think what is more likely going on with the lady who
posted that "complaint" was that she wants to control when he comes to visit. She only wants it when its convienient for HER and could care less about the scheduiling needs of the father.

I have a friend (a bit of a mope in my view for hooking up with a girl who already was birth control challenged) who bends over backwards to spend time with his son. I know because he's very vocal about his situtation.

She gets pissed at him if he's even a minute or two late for a scheduled visit.

Yet, she routinely cancels visits for questionable reasons, and delays visits for questionable reasons.

He's a responsible guy when it comes to his kid. He pays a boat load of child support (usually ahead of the due date btw) and he takes care of all of his kids extras. He spends alot of time with his kid, but again its all on HER terms. She controls the schedule, if he
has a scheduling conflict... tough, she won't reschdule. Yet she expects him to at the drop
of a hat. He feels powerless to do anything about it. He has complained before and
he response was to threaten to remove his visitation rights.

It's very selfish when you think about it, becuase she is threating to basically impact the life of her son who has a right to grow up with the love and guidance of his dad. Even if his mom
hates the dad, she has no right to cut her son off from him.

Like I said he's my bud and he likes to gripe about "the wife". All of the responsibilities.. none of the perks.
 jaberwokey
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 72
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/2/2005 7:38:02 AM
i should also point out.. that I felt my friend was birth control challenged as well.

he made the stupidest comment when he first told me that he had gotten his then gf (now psycho host beast) pregnant.

"Well, millions of couples a year have a hard time getting pregnant, I thought what are the odds she will get knocked up? ... a million to one right?"

Umm.. it only takes once to get pregnant or catch an STD.... i was floored.

I was like "you and I went to the same high school right?"

"yep"

"We both were in ms 's health class right?"

"yep"

"did you come away with a different interpretation of the rules then I did?"

"Well we were drunk, and horny, and well..."


Yeah.. guess what I did when that happened.. YOU find other stuff to do besides
penatration!! A 1 dollar condom saves thousands of dollars of child support and possibly your life!!!





Like I said.. my bud is a mope....but he's a good guy.. ju
 moffiaprincess
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 89
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/3/2005 1:07:59 PM
i find there are lots of men who will "date" a single mom , but i still am looking for one who woudl have a relationship with one !! anyoone know where those men are .. let me know .....k ?
 Bigger Guy
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 100
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/7/2005 1:36:51 PM
Sure, no problem. Just be up front about it. I am a divorced father with custody of 2 children.
Just don't call yourself a single parent if you are divorced / separated / or widowed. That is misleading. If you are divorced you are a divorced parent. As long as a man knows how things are from the start, generally there is no problem. Most men like having children around. Keeps you on your toes and keeps you young. Also, don't go looking for a father / mather for the kids. Children go away and you are left with the parent figure you brought in. Remember, if the kids are "MY WHOLE WORLD" then you are in for a huge let down in a few years. You should be your own world and the kids priority should be right up there, but without you on top, no one get the best, ever.
If you call yourself a single parent when there is another parent around (whether involved heavily or not) you are fooling yourself and disrespecting the other parent and your kids)
So.... be up front and honest and don't look for someone compatable for the kids and look out for yourself, then the men will come knocking.
The ladies that asked me out were, without fail, single, without children, and younger than me. All knew of my children, but that I was not looking for a new mother in the house. I never asked any out, they were interested on their own and asked me. Therefore, the fact that I had children did not matter to them.
Set your priorities and approach life with the right attitude and things will go well. I guarantee it.
 dewkiss31
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 110
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/23/2005 2:22:25 PM
Monkey yes there are ME!!!!! lol I would love to find a guy who has kids that want a fun relationship friends FIRST!! see where it goes and if it what we both want. We Are Out There So BEWARE!!!!! lol
 1HarleyRyder
Joined: 11/17/2005
Msg: 111
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/23/2005 3:53:13 PM
I can't speak for all men , but I have no problem with a lady having kids
 lookingwa
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 112
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/23/2005 6:36:29 PM
I am on the other side I have not dated in three years becuse the ladies I have run in to want a auto daddy sence I have rasied daughter they think I will be the babysitter Im just looking for someone who wants time with me not what i can do for them.
 aznjoe
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 113
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/23/2005 6:39:17 PM
Yup I've dated women with kids before I dated women without kids. So the answer is yes we're out there.
 Goresh
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 115
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/25/2005 6:15:53 AM
Hmmm, 99% of women freak when they discover I have 5 kids.

Women may think it's "sexy" for a man to take care of his child, but when it comes to the crunch, most aren't interested in getting involved.

Greg
 pplummer
Joined: 1/28/2004
Msg: 120
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/25/2005 2:01:34 PM
I have no prob. if the lady has a kid or kids ... you just gotta take it a little slower is all. first or second date should not involve meeting the kids though.. you have to see if there is some chemistry first and work from their. Remember you aren't dating their kids your dating the milf. just my 2 cents
 WarmCuddly
Joined: 2/1/2004
Msg: 121
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do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 11/27/2005 8:27:57 PM
Yes shedevil.

There a lots of guys who would consider dating single moms. Just as there are lots of women woh do likewise with single dads. The main barriers are the where the people set the bar as to whom they will date in other areas. Such as "looks, materialism, to some extent age, etc".
If people set the bar way too high everywhere else. Then getting responses will shrivel up.
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