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 dangerdan
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 1
You Know Youre Too Horny When...Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Drunking talk can turn into a good thread. Please No Real life experiences. Even though they are probably funny...

You Know Youre Too Horny When...
... A Hoover Vaccuum seems like the best option for blow job

... You Try to Use Quagmires Ideas to get laid

....When A hot dog bun will just have to do

Any other Jokes would be great
 Satisfiher
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 2
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You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/9/2005 11:02:10 AM
all your wrinkles have disappeared.
 dangerdan
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 3
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/9/2005 1:15:41 PM
Good Ones i like them keep them coming

....The 1967 Sears Catolouge Under wear section is just as good as Playboy
 dangerdan
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 4
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/9/2005 3:39:46 PM
When the Operater tells you to stop calling or they will block you

Your Credit card is maxed from 900#s

Your pharmacy is out of KY jelly and suggests you buy stock

You are well known to every porn store in your area and have accounts at all of them

Your the first one in line for the newest blow up doll.... And You are the line
 Satisfiher
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 5
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You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/9/2005 8:16:52 PM
You know you're too horny when you pump your meat while "Thumper" pumps your leg.
 dangerdan
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 6
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/10/2005 6:16:14 AM
... A Car Exhaust looks pretty damn good right now.

... Your wang Is the cleanest part of your body

...Watching Re-Runs of Roseanne gets you Hard

...Your the favorite person of The CEO pf vaseline


All these Are great Now Lets hear from some women
 dangerdan
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 8
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/10/2005 1:15:54 PM
Good ones everyone

...You get a woody from reading national geographic

...the skin on your hands are the softest around from the amount of vaseline that you use

...You need 7 computers to store all your porn

...You work extra hours just to afford the payboy channel

...Hugh Hefner Know you personally and thanks you for your years of loyalty to Playboy

....Watching woody woodpecker gives you a good idea....
 Satisfiher
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 9
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History
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/10/2005 1:23:05 PM
You know your're too horny when you wake up wet and sticky from the waste down.
 dangerdan
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 11
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/10/2005 4:51:05 PM
...Your cell phone is always dead from the vibrate feature

...You dont return your pop bottles for deposit because your too busy with them

...the amount of time your vaccuum is running people think you have the cleanest apartment around

...(This one is for the ladies)You stock up on cucumbers but never eat em

...Your curling iron isnt used for just curling your hair.



I love all the ones that are up come on everyone keep em coming
 dangerdan
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 12
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/11/2005 3:33:37 PM
... You use mayonaise as a substitute when your out of vaseline
 MellyBabez
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 13
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/11/2005 8:03:05 PM
....looking at a box of Kleenex turns you on.....
 40ish711
Joined: 7/23/2005
Msg: 14
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You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/12/2005 1:52:14 AM
thats a funny one.
i'll have to remember those words of wisdom.
don't order pizza when horny.
also you know when you're horny when
when the plug looks good to you.
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 15
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You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/12/2005 10:09:46 PM
Girls:
you start watching Jerry Springer just to see the guys grab their junk while posturing at the audience.
Guys:
you actually PAY for the "uncencered" Jerry in the hopes of seeing those 85 yr old b00bs
 LMAN_67
Joined: 7/13/2005
Msg: 16
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/13/2005 8:39:14 AM
..you would f**k a pile of rocks ,if you thought a snake was in there..
 PhillyJowy
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 17
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/13/2005 9:34:46 AM
Your BOSS ( if the opposite sex ) looks good to you
 dangerdan
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 18
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:00:48 PM
....50 bucks really doesnt sound to expensive

....both wrist have carpul tunnel syndrom and your only 25

...You think Marge Simpson is one foxy lady

...You see a picture of whoopie goldberg and and get a hard on
 mustangsally1273
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 19
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You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/16/2005 10:17:32 PM
ROLFLMAO...I think I know some people that ARE just too horny!!!

When you can thaw your own hotdogs (without a microwave)...
 GeneStauf84
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 20
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/16/2005 10:56:50 PM
...when the smiley turns you on
 GeneStauf84
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 21
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/16/2005 10:59:26 PM
(that was for the ladies ;) )
 dangerdan
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 22
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/22/2005 11:12:28 AM
... You Get a hard on from hearing Barbra Streisand

... The 400 pound girl at the grocery store is starting to look damn fine

... You get a hard on at your family reunion (Im sorry I had too....)

... You own a vibrating toothbrush and it isnt used for your teeth(for the ladies lol)
 freemewithlove
Joined: 3/9/2005
Msg: 23
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You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/23/2005 5:12:10 AM
When you have that first encounter with the space between the cushion and the couch.

When you accidently hit yourself in the nads with a broomstick and just have to try it again.
 dangerdan
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 24
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/23/2005 6:39:46 PM
...You think the women off murder she wrote is one hot pieve of tail

...you get a off from the vibrations on the bus

... you use the battery from the smoke detector to power your virbrator
 grplaman
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 25
You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/26/2005 7:30:43 AM
You know you're horny when.....

Your best buddy, Bubba is starting to look kind a good.

you get angry at God, because, you can't suck your self. Dogs can........WHY CAN'T I!!!!!!!

you find yourself, looking at cucumbers...as the woman do.

you look out the window all the time.waiting for someone-anyone to walk by.

Finding yourself, telling someone they have a pretty mouth.

roaming around in bookstores at 2 a.m., the next state over.

looking at your niece and wondering......what's age?
 Little Lady
Joined: 4/2/2005
Msg: 26
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You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/30/2005 8:46:48 AM
For the men,

When you start hanging around the cuccumber department of the grocery store waiting for the first woman to come by.
 Cautiously Fishing
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 27
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You Know Youre Too Horny When...
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:26:11 AM
....when you want to kick yourself for throwing out all those old National Geographics.
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