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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Opium
Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 1
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?Page 1 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I've always put hang-out on my profile, since i joined a week ago. But I'm hoping guys could take 'hanging out' as not their penises hanging out y'know? The first guy i met was great and my type for a hang out, has a gf in Vietnam, so it's plenty straightforward. I liked him very much, but I think he wouldn't have minded a 'FWB' relationship. The 2nd guy I met last night didn't even make it to the 2nd 'hang-out' before baring himself. I think maybe expectations should be sorted out and people should say what they mean. Because he was going on and on about how in a long-term relationship, ppl should sleep together,... whereas i was only looking for ppl to hang out with.

Is it the norm for people who contacted each other through online sites like these to be looking for sex? Or was he the exception? I told him he should have put 'intimate encounters' under what he was looking for. But he didn't want to.

All of you ladies who've met more guys than i have,... please help me in sharing your experiences. I'm not very distraught, as i did get away, although he was forcing me, and men are really stronger, and I was quite inebriated. (He'll probably have his own interpretation). But I did tell him like 20 times in the car that I'm a 'nice girl'. And even then, he was waiting for me to change my mind!


I can't believe i'm so attractive that he'll want to have sex on the first date, ... Are there a lot of guys like that? I know he's not a bad guy, so,.. so I don't want to be fending off 1 out of every 2 guys I meet online for a 'hang-out', just because the 'normal' expectations have changed.


I hope I'm not reiterating an old question,... if I've been overly lazy by not searching through the threads, please direct me to the similar thread please.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 2
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/13/2005 7:31:22 PM
Opium...there will always be those types, which is why you need to be very careful when and where you meet them...Meet them in a public place in the daytime, limit yourself to one or two drinks if you're in a bar, and never get in a car with someone you don't know. Please be careful; you don't deserve to be treated disrespectfully or manhandled. If he was forcing you, then he's not a *good* guy, no matter how much he may have had to drink...when one drinks they still know what they're doing, unless they're on the point of passing out. Possibly he is misinterpreting the 'hang out' part or he's simply using that to believe you want to 'hang out and get naked'. If that's not what you're looking for, then maybe if you changed your profile to say 'friends' you might not get such people with certain expectations bothering you that way?
 Tick Tock
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 3
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/13/2005 7:50:21 PM
I think POF needs more categories and clearly defined categories. "Hang out" is very ambiguous and open to interpretation. However, it doesn't justify his actions if any type of force or coercion was used. It is advisable to block this person if that was the case.
 CountIbli
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 4
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/13/2005 9:09:19 PM
First of all, every guy wants to have sex with women they have the merest bit of attraction for. Hell, we'll even sleep with the ugly ones given half a chance. If you want to meet a man who doesn't want to have sex with you then your best bet is to hang out in a gay bar.

I'm a bit concerned that you were hanging out with a guy that you apparently didn't know very well but you were drunk anyway. I can't think of a way to say this nicely so I won't: That's downright stupid! The guy was probably hoping with enough booze in you you'd say yes to the sex.
 Opium
Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 5
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/13/2005 11:42:52 PM
The guy was probably hoping with enough booze in you you'd say yes to the sex.


Who wants a comatose unresponsive woman in their bed? Believe me,... i wasn't participative. Well, i go dancing with other single/attached gfs after work at least a couple of times a week, we always get hit upon by guys. I know my limits with alcohol, but he urged me to drink his beer, and wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. For you ladies out there,... don't think a little mixing is all right,... i am used to drinking (in fact, the amount would probably shock the more less active-clubbers out there), but it really causes a lethargy. :beer:

Anyway, i will be less trusting in future, although it's sad. Singapore is very safe. I never had problems with Caucasians,... why local guys? Wasn't it someone in the forums who complained that there's not enough trust? hehe :lol:

So based on your experiences there's no quantifiable difference btw the mindsets of the men from POF and the guy next door who wants to score?
 MoBiBu
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 6
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/14/2005 2:05:44 AM
regularcw says:

Opium...any guy that "hangs out" with you is doing so with the hope of hiding his sausage in you...


Umm, no - speak for yourself, buddy. I worked for years as a manager at a nightclub and would often take out the girls to chat or just get to know them (yea, yea, employee-employer relationship... if you've ever worked in a nightclub you'd know how hazy or non-existant that line can become.)

opium said:

So based on your experiences there's no quantifiable difference btw the mindsets of the men from POF and the guy next door who wants to score?


Well, I'd really have to question the sanity of going out alone with a person you've known for only a short while and have been out with only once before, especially where alcohol consumption is concerned. Sure, there are guys that will get physically trying to get what they want but there are also others who'll go that extract step by spiking your drink.

While a woman's behaviour is NEVER an excuse for rape, it's simply better not to put yourself in an exposed position... really, the calibre of men who are going to want to take someone they barely know to a place so impersonal as a bar/club probably aren't interested in much more than the physical.
 MoBiBu
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 7
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/14/2005 3:58:35 AM
I thought further on this and figured I should add this:

If a man doesn't want sex on a first -date-, that is indicative of a lack of attraction - this can be overcome but is not a good initial sign (ie. he is not physically attracted to you).

However, if a man actually expects sex on a first date, he's either incredibly naive, exceptionally optimistic or, probably, a deviant - this is a very very big problem.

It's a matter of semantics, really - wanting versus expecting... there is more to it, of course (wanting a relationship with lovemaking versus a shack-up with debauchery) - I just had to add this.
 Tick Tock
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 8
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/14/2005 4:12:35 AM
^ Very good point! Every healthy male should want sex on the first date, but should not expect it.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 9
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/14/2005 6:46:39 AM

So based on your experiences there's no quantifiable difference btw the mindsets of the men from POF and the guy next door who wants to score?


No difference at all...people are people no matter where you meet them. You can meet just as many jerks online as you can off; I've even met some that friends introduced me to. But not all men, or women, want to score with just anyone. Some people are more discriminating and want to get to know the person first. Good luck to you and please be careful.
 DnickieD
Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 10
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/14/2005 8:21:55 AM
Every one that I have met so far has tried to get it on, but I'm careful too.

A) Not get drunk anywhere with anyone I don't know or feel comfortable with

B) Not met them at my home

C) Don't know anything about him, so I err on the side of caution till I do.

D) Met them in a public place with my own vehicle, for a fast getaway, should there not be any attraction and I've had to tell them...you never know what kind of reaction you're going to get.

E) With the exception of 1 person that travelled far to meet me, I won't let anyone stay in my home. For the record it was a disaster from start to finish.

F) Make sure they know from the getgo that I have a relative that's a member of the RCMP and we're close.....lol

I'm sorry OP that you were put into that position, but you also have the resposibility of protecting yourself as best as you can. By your own admission, you say that you drink alot, and I feel that isn't too wise with someone you don't know so early on in a relationship, but what do I know? I'm only going by own experiences, so please be safe and take care of you.
 Princesstigger
Joined: 9/22/2005
Msg: 11
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/14/2005 9:56:07 AM
You said it! Every last one of them!
 Opium
Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 12
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/14/2005 5:23:17 PM
Doctors have pretty good bedside manners,... and so do the dentists that i've dated. Not looking for dating,... just for casual hang-outs. A bedside manner is different from bedtalk.... hahaha! Seriously! :P

Thanks to Windsong, DNickie for the long involving posts,... :P and to the other forum members... (the sharing from the male point of view is also much appreciated!)

I think i'm hopeless,... all my encounters with the men I meet in clubs are very good... don't mind meeting and greeting like that. They just say hi and chat about work and other stuff, have private parties. That's what I mean by hang out. I guess someone who posted earlier is right,... the connotations & expectations in 'hang out' is ambiguous. So I guess that's where i should seek my idea of a fun time,... not here.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 14
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 2/7/2006 3:41:32 PM
indi stole my answer...pout!
 Huggablehottie
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 15
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 9/29/2006 5:42:53 PM
This is usually the case, from my experiences, most men, (not all),
have wanted sex.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 17
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 9/30/2006 12:21:47 PM
I have to agree. Every man wants it on the first date. Or maybe even before they actually know you exist. What separates the men from the boys is how much time they are willing to invest in actually get to know you. And, I do believe there have been times I wanted sex on the first date ~ if I weren't a nakie-phobe I just might do it. Nah, probably not ~
 puppy666
Joined: 5/20/2006
Msg: 19
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 9/30/2006 4:19:07 PM
OH MY OPIUM! THE KINSEY EXPERIMENTS.SHOW QUITE THE OBVERSE. IT'S THE MODERN AMERICAN WOMEN THAT ARE ON THE PROWL. I AM 55 YEARS OLD. AFTER HUNTING FOR SO LONG IT'S NOW WE MEN THAT ARE BEING HUNTED. I AGREE SOME MEN DARE TRY TO GET INTO YOUR GOODIES RIGHT AWAY. HORMONES. NATURE. YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT. SPARE ME THAT THOUGHT OF YOURS. I AM TRYING TO BE GENTLE. I CAN'T FIND THE KEY TO MY LADY'S CHASTITY BELT. OH NOW I REMEMBER,SHE HAS IT!
 dashforcash
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 21
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 9/30/2006 5:50:38 PM
WHY NOT THERE IS 10 TO 1 HORNEY WOMEN IN THE WORLD SEX HAS TO BE A ISSURE TO BE DEALT WITH THAT WHY THEIR ARE 50 PERCENT DIVORCES MOSTLY INN THE WORK PLACE WHEN A WOMEN TOUCHES ARE KISS A MAN IT WILL HAPPEN IT A WAY OF LIFE TODAY SO ALEAST 50% OF MEN AND WOMEN ARE GOING OUT FOR ONE THING SEX FOLKS THAT HAVE OF THE PEOPLE
 Beauwood
Joined: 9/20/2006
Msg: 25
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/1/2006 1:30:04 PM
Ladies, and the problem is? Men will ask because it is nature at work. Why else would we spend so much time with you ladies? :)
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 26
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/1/2006 1:35:18 PM
"Ladies, and the problem is? Men will ask because it is nature at work. Why else would we spend so much time with you ladies? :)" Whaaa?? You only spend time with ladies to get sex? Whoa, you shot yourself in the foot on that one. Don't blame nature either, lame excuse, humans have the capacity to think, analyze. You know, the bigger brain, try using it more.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 27
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/1/2006 3:06:39 PM
Hey if you both want to have sex on the first meet go for it. There's another school of thought than the tag 'em and bag 'em mindset. Some of us actually like to get to know someone and see if we enjoy their company.
 sweetkala
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 28
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/1/2006 9:01:27 PM
In my experience a lot of them..but from what some of the guys told me they get messages asking them to do it..so it goes both ways
 JIMMY927
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 29
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/2/2006 5:39:54 AM
Sassy......I wonder why?
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 30
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/2/2006 5:54:17 AM
To answer your question ALL men want sex on the first date. And every date afterwards. But no sex on the first date doesn't mean no date. Paticularly if it's no sex, no bs, no venting, no man bashing, just a nice evening on the town.


I hope I'm not reiterating an old question,... if I've been overly lazy by not searching through the threads, please direct me to the similar thread please.
=====================================
Youre re iterating a ten thousand year old question m girl



Is it the norm for people who contacted each other through online sites like these to be looking for sex? Or was he the exception? I told him he should have put 'intimate encounters' under what he was looking for. But he didn't want to.
====================================
He had good rreason not to want to. Girls read "intimate encounter" as meaning "bonk em and dump em" and, as they don't want the guy dumping them, after the first sex, they avoid such guys. Intimate encounter doesn't necessarily mean one only. but too many girls think it does.

Lets face it. If he said "marriage prospect" then you would be all over him. BUT intimate encounters are part of any marriage. Think about it. You girls are still in love with the bridal gown, not the guys.
 Beauwood
Joined: 9/20/2006
Msg: 31
How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/2/2006 8:17:07 PM
Ladies, the above response was meant tongue-in-cheek and not too be taken seriously. Jeez, has everyone lost their sense of perspective and humor?
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 32
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How many men have you met that wanted sex on 1st meet?
Posted: 10/2/2006 11:02:42 PM
Looking for, expecting or "open to" sex are all different. We like sex you like sex, so what if we both respect how the other feels about it there should be no problem.
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