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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > what's so bad about spanking your kid?      Home login  
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 sammysalt
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 2
what's so bad about spanking your kid?Page 1 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
You can teach a child how to act with out hurting them. If you do it starting at birth.
 sammysalt
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 7
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:29:30 PM
I have three 12,15,20 all good kids, people ask me what I did for them to turn out so well. Don't really know, but I didn't hurt them. Not everyone is like me, some people have real brats.
 GeneStauf84
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 29
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 8:21:43 PM

I have two children (8 & 12). Each of them have been spanked ONE time in their lives and I regretted doing it both times. There are other forms of discipline that are much more effective. Consequences being the best that I have found. I do not try and negotiate with my children, I simply take something away from them for a set period of time that they will miss and then I stick to my guns. Sticking to the punishment is where most parents fail. They give in when the child starts to scream or throw a fit and that only teaches them how to get out of being punished -it does not teach them that what they did was wrong. I do agree with the comments about there being a lot of out of control kids now a days. However, I do not believe that the lack of spanking is to blame.

I agree with you there.

Me, i've been spanked a few times. And i'm okay with that. Why?

Because it's turned me into an anti-spanking fanatic.
 globalmike
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 53
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 1:25:02 AM

when i was a kid i got spanked when i did something bad (i'm sure a lot of you were raised up like that) my kid sister (now 9) is one of those "time out kids" my mother never spanks her. my mothers idea of punishment now is sending her to her room. HELLO the girl has cable TV a playstation 2 her own phone line and a computer in her room how is that punishment?


Apparently spanking did nothing for you in terms of punctuation.
 justjazz
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 55
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 5:54:39 AM
corporal punishment is actually illegal in canada? Just curious
 justjazz
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 72
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 11:02:07 AM

^^^In Ontario perhaps Canada (I'm not sure of the entire of Canada) the minute a child tells someone he/she is hit (including spanking) you have a legal obligation to tell the authorities.


What do you report...a child told me mom spanked me?..what do they arrest her for? it is law in most US states that if a teacher etc even suspects abuse they have no choice but to report it.
 serendipitee
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 90
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 8:21:32 PM
There's a distinct difference between a swat and hitting hard/slapping in the face/close fisted, etc.
I was spanked as a kid and as I recall I deserved each one I got. It hurt but was never what I'd consider to be abusive they got my attention but didn't damage me.
I don't have kids but I admit to swatting my dogs on rare occasions I always feel like the scum of the earth after I do it.
I have heard that hitting children teaches them to respond to anger with aggression which doesn't sound like a very good idea. Hitting a child for hitting their brother/sister doesn't seem to make a lot of intuitive sense.

p.s. - Super Nanny is pretty amazing and yes, she gets the job done without ever spanking!
 justjazz
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 91
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/20/2005 6:06:30 AM
HUGE difference from being a childs teacher and a childs parent. I have been both and the differences are galactic. As a teacher I understand the importance of what a child learns and sees in my classroo. To equate a few hours a day with long term parenting is disingenuous.
 DeagleNINja
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 93
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/20/2005 7:47:14 PM
I plan on spanking as little as possible and always as a last resort. Spanking right off the bat teaches kids that violence is the answer to their problems. I think that it is called for when all else fails, but only then. I've seen too many parents order their kids around like robots, only to get pissed and lay into them with a feirce spanking when they don't obey. I want my kids to understand why I am telling them to do things or why something is wrong, not just obey out of fear of violence.
 justjazz
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 95
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/21/2005 9:22:25 AM
The "greatest society", the generation around WWII were all spanked. They made the greatest changes in the world, the greatest sacrifices and the most good, yep...spanking turned them all into pedophiles, violent killers and drug addicts with no self esteem and self worth. Dont believe this modern psycho-social junk that tells us our kids will be scarred for life if they receive corporal punishment its just not true!
 justjazz
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 104
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:32:08 AM
As I have said many many times in these threads... Spanking is counterproductive. Make the behavior the bad guy NOT YOU
 Trishnaa
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 106
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/5/2006 1:02:38 PM
I don't see anything wrong with it, but if its done all the time, then thats abuse and that is not right at all.
 ~waiting~
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 113
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/6/2006 1:39:48 AM
EVERYTHING!! That's what's so bad about spanking your kid! It always shocks me in todays day and age with all that we know about positive reinforcement and self esteem that anyone would try and defend this practice. Okay, I take that back...of course people that like to have power over small children or can't control their tempers WOULD defend this practice so I guess I should not be shocked! SPANKING? WRONG! NOT NECESSARY! DON'T DO IT!
 justjazz
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 114
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/6/2006 5:55:03 AM
Glasstigers....for your childs sake....please go to www.loveandlogic.com....at least read it and try it...It does work and your child needs your help.
 justjazz
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 116
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:05:35 AM
the BEHAVIOR is supposed to be the bad guy not YOU
 justjazz
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 124
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/6/2006 2:46:41 PM

I actually felt bad that I got him so mad. As though he lost respect for me.I know all kids are different and I wanted my parents to be proud of me.
THATS IT by GOD THATS IT....all any child wants is respect, love and admiration. Continually smack good behavior into your children and you will smack the love, respect and admiration right out of them.
 justjazz
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 129
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/28/2006 9:53:18 AM
But what is really learned? A child learns that if they do a particular behavior they will experience pain caused by a person much larger then they are. They do not learn that this behavior has natural and logical consequences that were caused by the behavior. Teach a child that every action, positive and negative have natural and logical consequences thus teaching them for later in life that sound decisions lead to good results! Make the behavior the bad buy not you....LOL..I think I am gonna print that on a T-shirt and sell it LOL
 Scheherrazade
Joined: 11/5/2005
Msg: 144
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/13/2006 10:08:26 AM
I was one of those kids that got the tar beat out of them growing up, so naturallly I was hesitant to use any kind of physical punishment on my kids. I've pretty much figured out that what most parents think of as normal spanking is not going to warp their kid for life and some parents who use other methods find it just as successful. It all comes down to loving your kids, raising them to the best of you ability and giving them a good foundation.

What I see now days that I find truly disturbing is the normal power struggle that goes on between kids and their parents and the kids coming out on top. I see so much of the decline in respect teenagers have for their parents and the damage it is doing to our society. The crime rate amongst teenagers has jumped outrageously high in the last twenty year. And I blame the parents.

No matter what form of punishment you use or not use, there will always come a day when your child throws down the gauntlet. We did it to our parents and our kids do it to us. When a parent is faced with that power struggle and they cave to the child, they have lost more ground than they can imagine. Once you loose their respect, it is so very hard to get it back and your control over them slips right out of your hands. No matter how much you love them, if they get the upper hand it opens the door for more freedom and disreguard for your rules.

I ended up raising my stepson from the age of 10 because his mother was afraid of him. Sometimes you have to love them enough to be strong for them.
 Wild Heart
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 146
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/14/2006 3:27:03 PM
I'm not entirely sure how I feel on this topic. What I do know is that each child is different. There are some children who hardly need a voice raised to them. I think it is important as a parent to know your child. I was spanked as a child, but not very often.

I think there is also a difference between spanking and a quick tap on the hand or butt. Some kids' are more stubborn than others and a simple "now now, don't do that" sometimes doesn't work, whereas a more firm louder voice will work and with other kids a tap on the hand may work.

I do not however think it is a good idea to spank with items, belts etc., it can be abuse in some cases since one cannot really tell how hard it is hitting the child.
 brandy_n_3
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 154
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 1/8/2007 9:03:22 PM
I was spanked as a child and I admit I have spanked my children on occasion. It is certainly not my first choice of discipline but I have used it. Under the age of 6 you can not reason with a child, this is the age of discipline, when your 2 year old runs down the drive wya or goes to reach for that pot on the stove do you say "no, no johnny we mustn't do that or you might get hurt, blah blah." In my case they got a quick smack on the bum and a firm NO. In this case they learned to think running on road means OW, touching stove means OW, I woud rather that ow come from 1 quick spank and not a more serious injury.

My oldest had very dangerous behaviours associated with his disorders, if he set a fire he got spanked. This was not a time to reason he needed immediate correction. If he stole he got a spank, etc. His ped has told me he went from having the most severe form of adhd and anxiety to being almost a normal child, he even asked what my secret was, plain and simple I demanded they follow my rules and I on occasion spanked. I do not let their disorders excuse them for bad behaviour, and when the "crime" was severe enough they got a spanking for it. Are my kids perfect no, but they are a heck of alot better than many kids out there.

After the age of 6 is the training phase, where you begin using more reasoning and less spankings, but if they misbahve enough or with a big enough "crime" than we revert back to spankings. Each of them only received 1-2 swats ever for running on the road or touching the stove etc. My 3 yr old has only received one other spanking to date, my oldest was my toughest kid, he's self esteem actually improved as his behaviour did, he felt badly about himself when he did those bad things, as well he is a safer child now that he no longer does those things. He may not have the logical reasoning in his head, or the biblical reasoning in his heart as to why he should not set a fire or play on the roof or steal, but he has caught on enough to know they result in a spanking, the punishment outways teh reward of the behaviour so he doesn't do it. 90% of their discipline is in teh form of time outs, loss of priveldge or natural consequences, but that does not exclude spankings entirely.

Yes the goal is to have them intrinsicly choose to behave correctly simply because it is the right thing to do, but for young children it begins with extrinsic correction. YOu do not spank out of anger. In my home I cool of, they get a spanking on the bottom with my hand, never an object, and then we talk about why they got the spanking, followed by a hug and forgiveness.

Regardless of how one discipline's the problem isn't so much whether kids are wellbehaved or not due to spanking, but due to consistancy of whatever method is chosen by the parent. Too many parents want their kids to like them, so they never make them follow the rules with a consistant consequence if they do not.
 Deadsayer
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 156
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 1/8/2007 11:08:59 PM
There is nothing wrong with spanking, it's just today's soft, easily offended, politically correct society that has a problem with it.
 Oral*Heat*
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 165
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 1/12/2007 11:52:49 PM
I have so many mixed feelings about this. I had maybe 2 bum spanks from mom as a child but was a good kid and listened well, respected her so it wasn't needed. I see my nephews with their attitude and mouth...I would have never spoken like that as a child to an adult/parent.

I'm not sure if it teaches them it's ok to hit? Does instilling fear into a child make them behave? Is this unfair? I have seen how ineffective time outs are..etc.

Only one thing remains solid in my thinking. My mom ALWAYS said what she meant, no empty threats. Maybe that's what parents are lacking, the ability to stick to their guns, follow through with consequences and be consistent. I knew if if was told once, and did it again, there would be consequences.


Interesting topic. Sometimes I see children acting so disrespectful and in my mind I think, man that kid needs a good whipping....Being a Dr Phil fan....I think twice


Let's keep this thread alive, very informative.


What about soap in the mouth for swearing/biting? This is also considered abuse...hmm
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 188
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History
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/5/2007 9:22:52 AM
If kids are not physically disciplined, then what will they do when they get to be adults?
They are very likely to assume that they can get away with rape and murder, and guess what? They do. Crime is on the rise in a big way, ans most of the rapes murders are being done by young men and women, for insults and trivial things. Then you wonder why all the prisons are full.
 PrairieNihilist
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 214
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what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 9/6/2007 3:54:51 AM
You know, I think that a good beating, would do a lot of kids some good these days. The place where I work, is part of a community service program, and the kids that are coming through for major hours, are getting younger and younger. Used to get 16 and 17 year olds, but now we get 13 and 14 year olds, who are jacking cars, breaking into houses, and beating people up for money. If my kid ever did anything like that, I'd beat him/her black, and beat the black off of him/her. Seriously, my kid would never get into trouble again, because they'd still be crippled from the first time they f*cked up. A lot of these kids, have no respect for their parents, and do not listen to them. Yeah, lots come from screwed up families too, but lots are just spoiled brats. The way kids these days act, is just sickening at times. Not all kids, but most kids, come off with that attitude like they know it all, and if you tell them to do something, or not to do something, they beak off at you. Some 14 year old kid, went into the store where my gf works, and tried to buy a lighter. She refused sale(which is store policy), and he threatened to come back and kill her. If he'd have done that with me in the store, I'd likely be in jail right now, because I'd have picked the little b*stard up by his neck, and told him that he'd be dead before he even looked at her wrong again. If that was me when I was growing up, I guarantee that an adult, would have come over, and given me a beating I wouldn't soon forget. Most of you, probably would have had the same happen. Getting suspended from school, used to be punishment, because either mom or dad, had to miss work to keep an eye on your a**, and you can bet that they weren't happy about it. You did chores, got yelled at, did more chores, got slapped upside the head for being stupid in school, get yelled at, and smacked for screwing up some more, and did more chores. There was no "vacation from school". You went to Mom and Dad's work camp. Touching stuff in the store, was a big nono. Mom would slap your hand clean off if you messed with it after being told not to touch. As for beakin' off at your folks, you'd get a smack, and if you dared tell them off...all I can say is holy f*ck! They would have killed me, revived me, and killed me again, if I ever told them to f*ck off. That's what the bad kids of today need. A good ol' fashioned a** beating. I don't have a criminal record, because if I couldn't do it without any chance of getting caught, I didn't f*ckin' do it. The hell with being scared of going to jail, I was scared of the thought of what Dad would do to me after he picked me up from jail. I'd have likely killed somebody just to stay in jail.
 PrairieNihilist
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 217
view profile
History
what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 9/6/2007 1:07:40 PM
I'm not saying beat the kid for every little thing. I believe in teaching kids accountability for their actions, and corporal punishment, is always as a last resort. However, if my kid were behaving like these ones, in spite of my best efforts, you bet I'd knock them down a few notches with a trip to the woodshed. Everybody talks about being charged with child abuse, but no cop in their right mind, is gonna arrest you for disciplining your kid, as long as you don't use excessive force. Especially if your kid, is on their sh*tlist already. My friend's teenage daughter, thought that it would be okay to tell her mom off, and smack her around. My buddy, tuned her in but good, and when she called the cops, and they came, he explained why he had done it, and the cop said something to the extent of "I'm glad there are still good parents out there." She's been golden ever since. Doesn't beak her mom anymore, and doesn't even think about getting violent with her. Her dad told her after the first belt lacing, that she'd get it double if she ever pulled that again. She'd never been spanked before, so it worked great. I totally agree about not getting slap happy with your kids over every little thing, but if they stop responding to verbal punishments, and time outs, or groundings, then it's time to remind them who's in charge. I'll put my teenage kid over my knee, before I kick them out of my house, and further mess them up.
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