Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How many dates before you allow someone to ...      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 drpookie
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 4
How many dates before you allow someone to ...Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
what the hell, let him give you anal on the first date, infact, dont even go on a date, just go have sex in the alley dumpster, and use the sauce from old pasta dinners as lube....have fun!
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 5
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/24/2005 7:20:09 AM
@UniquelyMe

It all depends on you, your date and what you're both comfortable with...and being older has nothing to do with it...I date now just as I did when I was 22...only now I listen to my gut when it comes to men, as back then I didn't listen as good as I should have and would up in long relationships with the wrong men for me...you may meet someone, want to see them again, but not want more than a kiss on the cheek goodnight on the first date...or you may want more...either way, your date should respect the boundaries you set for yourself...if they can't, then I'd find another date. And no, distance doesn't make any difference at all, IMO.
 Nuyorican58
Joined: 9/3/2005
Msg: 6
view profile
History
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/24/2005 7:34:56 AM
I agree with prolibertate it depends on the chemistry between the two people and how you feel with that person, as i am a hopeless romantic and I believe that there can be love at first site.But you do have to say no when no is how you feel any idiot that tells a woman its bullshit because she won't succumb to him regardless of age or travel that has nothing to do with it. That person is dangerous and should be avoided, you should post his name so other women can stay clear of him. Good luck in the future
 OneCoolChick
Joined: 9/13/2005
Msg: 8
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/24/2005 4:00:04 PM

How many dates before you allow someone to kiss you, french kiss you, touch you, fondle you, have sex with you?


there's no time set in stone for me. I've done all those things on the first date before if I felt like it.
 DavePinFlorida
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 9
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/24/2005 5:10:29 PM
I try and never go past kissing on the first date.. but I've had my weaknesses exploited before!
 1RSimplicity
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 10
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/24/2005 5:48:48 PM
I don't think counting dates is a good measure of when it's appropiate to do anything, how about counting moments, breaths, glimpses, they tell a better story. It might be right the first night, after a month, a year, or never...
 *~MisskriS~*
Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 12
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/24/2005 5:59:34 PM
Its all about what your comfortable with
 Frrosty
Joined: 3/21/2004
Msg: 13
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/24/2005 6:59:16 PM
Are we allowed to speak in "minutes' here?



For me; comfort dictates everything. (as said above)
 robin cognito
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 14
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/24/2005 7:16:33 PM
Hi There,

I agree with the comments that it is different in every situation, for me a kiss on the first date is ok if it feels right; I think anything more than that is just asking for a quick end to any potential of something long-term. I think the key is not having expectations; I look at a first date as a chance to get to know someone and see if the spark is there and anything beyond that is a bonus. Some of the best dates I have had have been spent intimately (like walking holding hands) but ended with a kiss on the cheek; if you really see the potential in someone why rush? I don't feel age has anything to do with it, with the right person they make me feel like I did on first dates as a teenager anyway :)

Rob
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 18
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 1:33:08 PM
Most posts pretty much say, as long as it’s going to take and based on the individuales feeling comfortable. But if it takes too long, then chances are, they’ll never happen because obviously there is no chemistry. So, I’d say anything more than 3 or 4 dates and you are friends. Kissing really should start by the 3rd date and not just the peck on the cheek, it better be high quality tongue tango.
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 21
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 2:47:40 PM
^^^ Holding hands to me is more intimate than kissing or even having sex. I don't know how others see it.
 dragracerguy
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 22
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 4:23:17 PM
I have had some dates where there was nothing and had some where the date wasnt finished and we were naked in the car on the way somewhere. It goes by your gut feeling. Always trust your gut feeling. There is no right or wrong answer. At least I dont think so.
 serendipitee
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 23
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 4:35:43 PM
Uniquely,
I agree with most other posters, it all depends and ultimately you decide for you.
Disrespect and pressure (especially on the first date) = NOT usually effective panty droppers, not typically indicative of good LTR material either. I dare say, this one is NOT a "keeper".
Also, playing on a date's self doubt using age and/or distance is not particularly becoming. Unless you want more of the same throw this one back!
 Mojo_LA
Joined: 12/15/2004
Msg: 24
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 6:30:13 PM
Kiss: 3.5 hours
French kiss: 6 hours
Touching (clothes on): 2 dates
Touching (clothes off): 3 dates
Oral: 3-4 dates (depends on how the touching goes)
Sex: 4.5 - 6 dates
Anal: 10 - 15.4 dates

These are the rules, please follow them
 serendipitee
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 25
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 9:35:36 PM
mojo,
baa haa haa haa
Glad you straightened that out.

 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 26
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 9:39:40 PM
Hey mojo why 10 to 15.4 dates?? ... what is a .4 date ?
 Mojo_LA
Joined: 12/15/2004
Msg: 27
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 10:11:35 PM
Four hours into the 15th date, obviously. That is the maximum legal limit you're supposed to wait for anal (that is California law, of course - every state has their own laws (other countries probably differ, too)).
 serendipitee
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 29
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/26/2005 1:18:54 AM
uniquely,
Geez, you sure got a "prize" for the first try in 15 years.
Take your time, they don't all behave that way (most don't in fact).
Just a thought... next time don't give him a chance with a second date. Gawd he sounds awful!!!
 Mojo_LA
Joined: 12/15/2004
Msg: 32
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/30/2005 1:18:01 AM
It's working out quite well, thank you.

I've done 5.8 of the things on that list 24.3 times.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How many dates before you allow someone to ...