Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Boyfriend not interested in sex      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Boyfriend not interested in sexPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

He takes an antidepressant

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding .... Chuck, tell her what she's won!

One of the side effects many men experience while taking anti-depressants is a decreased sexual appettite. Other sexual side effects - depending on the medication - can include inability to sustain an erection or - and this one’s really great - ability to sustain an erection as if he was on viagra, but inability to ejaculate - in other words, he can go for hours, but it will be the most frustrating hours of his life.



why would you choose someone on medication?

Yanno, because someone is on medication doesn't mean they are some sort of deviant. In fact, it's a sign of the opposite. He's taken the step to get help and correct his life. For a man, especially, it should be commended because most men are ashamed to take medication or seek help for psychological problems.
 pontus6
Joined: 12/24/2004
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:16:45 AM
My first love was with a women who then made me wait 6 months for sex. I got really depresed and lost all interest in having sex with her even though I did not take any medications. Eventually I realised we were not ment for eachother and I got over this insanity.
 grplaman
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 6
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:21:32 AM
If i found someone who i really cared for and they weren't "into" sex, for whatever reason....then we'd have to go fishing...A LOT!
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:28:46 AM
Faith,
If he’s having some real problems with side effects from his medication, suggest he speak with his doctor about it. Usually there are other medications he can try that may not have the same, or at least not as intense, side effects.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:57:56 AM
Hey Lippy ... imagine what I would be like without mine
 grplaman
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 14
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/26/2005 7:00:10 AM
Yes fishing! Give me a pole and a can of warms..i don't need sex EVER! I love to FISH!
 Canadian Romantic
Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 15
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/26/2005 7:00:20 AM
Now, I'm wondering, and Please, don't take this wrong, BUT, if the sex was GOOD, would he be really NEEDING the anti-depressants? *WINK*

(Just teasing...)
 grplaman
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 17
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/26/2005 7:14:36 AM
I think i now know....HE"S GAY! Ever think of that? Because, most men are just plain men, and they want sex all the time,.medicated or not-they NEED it or a least try...if he's not even trying..maybe he's gay. I'm gay and i love to fish....does he,.like, fishing too,... perhaps? I'd rather pull in a fish then, have sex myself, actually.
 Canadian Romantic
Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 21
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/26/2005 7:59:23 AM
crazyfaith...

Gee, this sounds like an ex of mine...I tried everything, and THEN some, but, nope, she still wanted to go and screw half the guys in her office, her bar hang out, her...well, you get the point...

I'm NOT saying that is the case HERE with you, but, communication, as Dr. Phil would say, HAS to start, and be honest and open; and of course, tactful...

Letting this go will make it only worse for you, NOT better.
 grplaman
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 22
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/26/2005 8:54:42 AM
So then, are you saying then,......he is, perhaps........gay? See, I knew i was right! Well, you know, there's nothing wrong with that....

P.S.
I could teach him how to fish! Remember i don't do sex-when i fish. So, he's safe. send him by way.
 Inkwell
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/26/2005 9:23:05 AM
it might be that his appetite is not diminished but blood pressure meds can diminish the ability to achieve/maintain erection. If he has experienced that, he might be embaressed and THAT is why he doesnt initiate sex, not that his appetite isnt healthy just to avoid the embaressment. One thing you might do is time sex to occur just before he is due to take his pills again, maybe in the morning before he takes pills. Also might want to be together but minimize focus on intercourse so that he can engage you intimately but minimize the importance of the act he is worrying about performing adequately.
 TechnoBear
Joined: 11/10/2004
Msg: 25
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/26/2005 5:03:44 PM

What do you think?


I think, yes, you should be able to talk to him and maybe even go to see his doctor with him. You have a right to express your needs, especially ones that affect the level of emotional intimacy in a relationship.

OK, tough questions, so I hope you don't mind. Does he suffer from ED? Antidepressants and pressure meds can cause ED. For many men not being able to obtain or maintain an erection is enough to shut down any desire they may have. Its that old "Not fully a Man" thing, and if he knows that you miss intercourse, then that can do it too (make him avoid).

The two of you need help to get through this issue. His meds being assessed, his comming to realize how this affects you, perhaps you learning how to be supportive in bed (if needed), etc.

Good luck. I hope you guys can work it out.
 TechnoBear
Joined: 11/10/2004
Msg: 26
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/26/2005 5:06:39 PM

Its almost a given that a man on high blood pressure meds and anti-dpressants,has a very low sex drive.


Sorry to disagree, but they don't affect sex drive (desire), they affect penile function.

And it is VERY FRUSTRATING for a man who wants intercourse and can't perform it.
 SmartAlec
Joined: 2/8/2005
Msg: 32
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/29/2005 6:46:39 AM
the antihypertensive is probably the culprit.... sit him down and have a heart to heart talk with him ... offer to go with him to talk to his doctor about both meds. Awfully young to be on antihypertensive? more exercise needed? diet control? how does he cope with stress.... some clues
 agenteightysix
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 42
view profile
History
Boyfriend not interested in sex
Posted: 10/31/2005 9:22:02 AM
Men want to feel like men. Don't persue sex with him. Just tease him with out being obvious about it. Let him know that you want him with-out asking for sex. Let or make him come after you. Its a mans natural reaction to push you away or to feel a bit uncomfortable when you come after him.

This may not make much sence to you right now but trust me if you want him to pursue you tease him and make him come after you. He will.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Boyfriend not interested in sex