Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Kenn159
Joined: 2/8/2005
Msg: 4
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Every single living person on this earth will be disabled to some degree at some point in there life if they live long enough,so we all need to not look at them as different but as how were are or will be.

I would have no prob dating some one hearing impaired ,although learning sign language looks like it might be a bit of a challenge to learn.

How would you compare the learning curve between learning to sign and learning to read?
Just wondering how hard it would be to learn,saw someone signing on tv a couple days ago and was amazed wit how fast they were.
 BlahGrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 6
view profile
History
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:09:18 PM
....I'm not sure how I would feel about that. It would be weird never talking to someone..and I can talk a lot sometimes. I'm not sure it would be a negative mark so much as....a clear difficulty that would need to be worked past. Curious..how would such a relationship even start unless the non-deaf person already knew sign language?
 HAHANOW
Joined: 9/28/2004
Msg: 8
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:17:42 PM
not a problem for me at all . I know some sign so, I can learn more!
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 12
view profile
History
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 10/26/2005 9:30:28 PM
Sure, I would certainly date a deaf lady. My neighbor is deaf and she is totally cool, thankfuly she reads lips and allows me to communicate with her easier, but if the opportunity came along I would be more than willing to learn sign language, actually it would be kind of fun to learn, since I have mastered the one finger sign I would like to learn how to use the rest...LOL. And as far as patience goes, I think my kids can vouch for that, or they'd be the type to sleep with one eye open. Sharing in the deaf world and going to deaf socials would be a nice change of pace I would say, an exciting new experience, no, I would most certainly not feel awkward in front of my friends and they would be very accepting of her. Why would I like to date a deaf person, well, because I believe everyone deserves an equal chance at happiness, and sharing in her world would not only be exciting but might even help me to become a better person and learn to not take for granted all the things I do now, seeing that she couldn't hear what I can and knowing she's missing out on it not being able to hear what I can. Easy? no, I don't think that of any woman, ever! And yes, I would sure love her for her, as I would expect her to love me for me all the same, afterall, she is still a woman isn't she? Just because she can't hear doesn't change who she is.
 finisheslast
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 23
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:31:41 AM
there would be challenges no doubt. i think it would force you to communicate in a different way, either learning sign language or writing things down. i think it might bring out the best in someone who has a partner that is disabled. it forces you to bring your A game and no doubt make you a stronger person.
 seymourt
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 25
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:24:45 AM
If she was attractive, of course i would give her a chance.
 shygirlinont
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 26
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:57:03 AM
Hello!! I dated a man who was almost completely deaf for 8 months. Honestly, it was the worst 8 months of my life! I met him on line, and decided to give him a chance! I learned my lesson the hard way! He felt that the world (including me) owed him because he was deaf, and nothing was his fault. IT was very difficult! And, you take little things for granted, talking on the phone to the wee hours of the night, going to movies and talking in a dark car! He could read lips, and I knew sign, but it still makes it hard. And the sex, thats kind of tough too! How do you tell someone you like it, or if your moans aren't heard?! Anyway, yes I did date him, and honestly I don't think I would do it again! I am not trying to offend anyone, but it was too hard for me! I am a huge talker, and that's just not something I can give up!!!
 seymourt
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 30
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 10/30/2005 6:36:52 PM
Try finding a pretty deaf girl. It is very difficult. They go to deaf schools and have deaf boyfriends. Most are not interested in normal guys. Do a search for deaf and you won't find any at the dating sites. Also, many are very childish and have never had to face the real world. I would say they are emotionally stunted.
 TigerDuchess
Joined: 9/29/2005
Msg: 34
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/4/2005 8:12:18 AM
Dear ilove2smile,

Interesting survey questions. Your results from this particular thread will, of course, be skewed. I doubt anyone with negative answers will be willing to take the time to post OR want to put them out here. I'm pretty much a ditto -- no problems dating the deaf. Or as I warned the fellows -- I'm assuming you read lips because the only ASL I know is "Good Morning", "Girl" and "I love you"!

One has hearing aids and can hear and speak clearly but can't hear on the telephone. The other -- I don't know yet! But I like what he has to say in email, I love his looks, and I figure communication is a pretty minor problem compared to some of the "disabilities" I've encountered in dates so far (e.g., narcissism, dreadful kissing technique, offers to buy panties and bring them along to the first date). LOL

I will say that email and IM have made a world of difference in opening up the barriers and making it possible to get to know a lot about each other before having to solve other communication hurdles.

I expect I will feel estranged at a social where I don't know anyone else and don't necessarily follow the conversations. But, I'm a grown up and as long as my date doesn't ignore me for the whole evening, I can cope. No worse than going to any other social where I don't speak the lingo well -- whether it's Mandarin Chinese or War Gaming.

I am curious to know your professional opinion as an ASL teacher -- how long does it generally take for an adult to become basically proficient in ASL?
 TigerDuchess
Joined: 9/29/2005
Msg: 41
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/14/2005 7:36:30 AM
Ekkobeach, check out www.lifeprint.com for a free on-line site designed to teach sign language. Also look into Adult Education courses in your community.

I've been dating a very nice deaf guy. The only part I find frustrating is that it's harder to get into deeper philosophical discussions about emotions because I don't have the vocabulary and it takes a longer time to write down. Again, this is where email and IM really help.

I've been meaning to learn sign language for some time now -- based on family and personal medical history, it is extremely likely that I will be completely deaf when I get older. Seeing my grandmother try and manage with amplifiers and the like, has convinced me that when I get to that point, I want to be able to fit into a supportive community that I can communicate with! Dating has just given me a chance to practice what I already know and a greater incentive to get off my duff and sign up for classes.

Thanks for the really interesting and supportive discussion!
 Tinkle
Joined: 11/2/2005
Msg: 46
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/15/2005 10:55:22 PM
I think I could with no more problem than any other relationship would have, other than I wish she could have the option of experiencing music the way I do. Do I actively seek def women? No. Not anymore than I actively seek any other ones.

I wouldn't have a problem with dating a blind women either.
 GeneStauf84
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 55
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/17/2005 12:34:14 AM
I'm hearing impaired, but I'm not sure whether or not I'd want to go out with a totally deaf girl yet.
 GeneStauf84
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 56
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/17/2005 1:26:02 AM
Oh, and being hearing impaired with hearing aids DOES have a huge benefit: if I don't like what I'm hearing, I can just flip a switch and turn off the world around me!!!

Hearing aids ROCK! :D
 sweetone56
Joined: 1/12/2005
Msg: 60
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/18/2005 12:16:58 AM
Wow Everyone out here are wonderful...I have meet someone who is blind and the difference was not so different he played music for me...it was nice...the best part was i ran into him at a jazzfest and it was like we knew eachother forever ,though it was years and he even said he had the chance of meeting my kids......of course i told them about him..



As for dating someone deaf of course,they are the same as us they laugh,cry and bleed the bleed as the reat of us...i agree it would to harder at first but if you try anything at first it might be a little hard...i chat with a wonderful man on pof....his name is Robert and he,s so handsome i cant wait to meet him in person,and with all the noise in this house ,birds ,dogs cats and children i know he can deal with me and not run away because of all the noise (lol)

also i have a hard time with grammar,and he deals with that!!!!!!!
sorry for saying so much.......
 sweetone56
Joined: 1/12/2005
Msg: 61
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/18/2005 12:18:50 AM
Besides aren,t all people beautiful in their own way
 TigerDuchess
Joined: 9/29/2005
Msg: 62
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/18/2005 9:26:22 AM
"Deaf can't dance..." I thought that myth was thoroughly busted after Marlee Matlin's performance in "Children of a Lesser God"!
 Acecomedian
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 63
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/18/2005 3:21:58 PM
All people are beautiful......
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 65
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 2:07:46 AM
Other than to get some fodder for your book, I can't really understand why a deaf person would be asking these questions....but maybe your experiences have been different than mine.

First, here is my background, so you'll know where I'm coming from...

I have a very profound hearing loss, (considered deaf), but I don't feel any different than anyone else, except when it comes to using phones. I wear 2 hearing aids, and read lips. When my parents got divorced, they went to court and fought over whether I should be put in a school for the deaf and learn sign, or go to a regular school and learn lip reading. I ended up going to a regular school and learned lip reading. I also took 2 years of sign language in college. The teacher was somewhat deaf, and was friends with a lot of deaf kids our age, so she arranged for us to socialize.

Now, about the questions..what is this 'our world' vs 'your world'? I am the same person as a 'hearing, lip reading person ' that I would have been, had I signed instead, as a way of life. Do the blind have an 'our world' vs 'your world'? I never heard about it. What about people who can't walk? I don't think so...I think this is the worse form of segregation...(my opinion)

Why should someone have to say why they would date a deaf person??? You act like we're from MARS!! Good grief!!

Why would a deaf person be 'easy', (or thought of that way), because she can't hear? She can still say "NO", can't she? That question has to do with morals....... hearing, or no hearing.

I had a co worker who ran into someone from the Deaf Institute, and she wanted to ask them something about TV captioning for me, (or something...I forget now), but when she mentioned the deaf girl at work, the deaf representative went off on her and was very rude...telling her that I had no business in the hearing world, blah, blah, blah!! My co worker was shocked...to tell the truth, so was I!

One time when I was working retail, the manager came running up to me and said that they had a deaf customer in another department, and someone told him that I signed, so he needed me to interpret. Well, I hadn't had anyone to practice on, so I remembered very little sign, but I went over there and got a notepad and pen, and we wrote notes back and forth to figure out what she wanted. I told that manager, that she was DEAF, which means she can't HEAR...it doesn't mean she is uneducated...she can still read and write!!!!

I have no regrets about going to a regular school, getting a regular job, having regular relationships. My hearing had never been a problem with any of my relationships...as a matter of fact, after my ex husband and I split up, and he remarried, he made an interesting comment to me. He said that he was so used to having my undivided attention when he talked to me, that when he got remarried, it was hard for him to get used to her being in another room while he talked, saying, "Go ahead, I'm listening."

Just my 2 cents....and letting people see how it really is...
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 66
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 2:08:43 AM
@Deen, I too, had never heard a bird sing or a clock tick, until I was about 35, and the hearing aids had become much more technical. I heard a new noise when I got my new hearing aids one day. I couldn't figure out what it was. I was alone, so I couldn't ask anyone. So I put my ear against the wall and walked around the room in the direction of the noise. It was a clock ticking and it clicked louder than the others. What I couldn't hear before, was suddenly so annoying, that I had to get rid of the clock! LOL!

@Shy, I never have any trouble hearing moans...are you sure he couldn't hear them, or did you just assume that he didn't? Most of us hear sounds, but have trouble making out the words...moaning is a language of it's own. LOL! You can show someone what you like by moving their hands....honestly, my men have never complained about it interfering with sex....except that I can't hear 'sweet nothings' whispered in my ear, but that's MY loss, not theirs...they can still whisper them, and pretend I hear them, I don't care!!

@edgerunner2005, I have a child who has excellent hearing. She has been tested at the hospital before I took her home...standard procedure, I'm told. Now she is 21, still no problems. FYI, I have been deaf since birth, but no one in my family has a hearing loss, so there are no guarantees for a perfect child, even if both parents are perfect.

@mindsky, music is no problem for me. I love it, I love concerts...(one of my favorite things to do!!), and I have my preferences, like anyone else. The only problem I have is that I don't understand the words, therefore I don't know the names of many songs. You could ask me if I like a certain song, and I wouldn't know, but when it's played to me, I'm like, "Oh my God!! I LOVE that song!!" LOL!

@HarleyKat, we are on the same page here, I totally agree with everything you are saying. (I've always enjoyed reading your posts, but was totally shocked to hear that you were deaf too!! I have a story about the Cochlear Implant. I'm in my fifties, and for the last few years, my mom has been on me to get it done. I told her, "Mom, I have been different all my life, (not that it bothered me, though), why would I want to get the Cochlear Implant now, when people my age are losing their hearing? I'm about to be like everyone else my age and that would make me different than them all over again!" LOL!
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 70
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 2:53:50 PM
Way to go, Ireland, I agree with you wholeheartedly!!!

HarleyKat, I laughed out loud at your post...more than once....you are just too funny!! I think I just found an online friend...(if it's okay with you)
 Tinkle
Joined: 11/2/2005
Msg: 75
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/21/2005 7:34:43 PM
As for my comment about experiencing music. I said I wished that deaf people could have the *option*of experiencing *like I do*. I know that they can enjoy music, I just don't know if it's as good for them as it is for me:)
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 80
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/22/2005 8:11:10 PM
This is a little off the topic of the last few threads, but it is a story related to being deaf. This happened to me about 12 years ago. I had a foster child, and I had her and my daughter in the back seat, (They wanted to sit together...so what if I looked like a taxi driver, right?), as we were going to take my foster child to her therapy appointment.

Anyway, I'm driving along, and the kids are screaming and yelling. I'm asking them to please be quiet...they kept at it, and I said "Listen! I can't hear what you are saying, so we will discuss this as soon as we get to the Therapists office!!!" About this time, as I'm getting to the freeway entrance, I look in my rear view mirror and see the flashing lights of a cop. I pull over, thinking he's going to go around me. Well, not only does he NOT go around me, but all of a sudden these cops, (7 vehicles in all), come from all directions, the vehicles pointing at me from all angles!!! I'm thinking, 'WTF'????

The cop makes me get out and go stand next to another cop while he searches my car. I turned to the cop next to me, and said, "What was I stopped for?" He said, "Speeding". I said, "Gee, I've never been searched, and had so many cops involved, just for speeding!!" He said, "Well, why wouldn't you stop?? He was trying to pull you over quite a ways back." I said, "Oh my God! I'm so sorry, I didn't hear the sirens", and lifted up my hair so he could see my hearing aids. He started laughing, and yelled to the other cops, "Hey, you guys! We don't need to stick around...She's DEAF!!!" They were all laughing, as they left me alone with the original cop, and he was MAD...his temples were throbbing, and his hand was shaking as he wrote my ticket!!!

I was a nervous wreck, but that isn't the end of the story.....this is the kicker!!! I got back in the car, and said to the kids, "Why didn't you TELL me that the cops were behind me with their sirens on?"
(Are you ready for this?)


They said "We were TRYING to, Mom, but you kept telling us to BE QUIET!!!!!"
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 81
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/22/2005 8:44:32 PM
@ Linguatic msg#97, signed interpretation of music performances is indeed beautiful. We learned to sign-sing to the song, "I Can See Clearly Now" and it was Awesome! I swear, one of these days, I'm going to re learn enough sign to be able to do that song again. It left a lasting impression on me.

@gbg msg#105, and Kat msg#109, My sense of smell is really keen too, and it's not always a GOOD thing! I'll smell a skunk in the neighborhood or on the road long before anyone with me is aware of it!

@gbg msg#112, I'm also pretty good at "eavesdropping" by lip reading. I would amaze my friends sometimes when I would tell them something someone across the room said. this doesn't happen very often, though. Usually someone gets in the way, or the person talking, turns their head in the middle of talking.
 SixDemonBag
Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 90
view profile
History
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/23/2005 10:33:30 PM
ilove2smile, I agree that there would be a challenge, but we all tend to bring some challenge or another to the table. It's all part of the package deal; the general challenge of the relationship. I'd have no issue with deafness, but I don't seek it out. It's just part of a person or it isn't. I don't seek out or avoid people with glasses, either. ;)

I already know some sign language (very little; I remember the dirty words best), but would love to learn more, even if I don't date someone deaf. Speaking of gestures, I've amused a couple of casual friends with my tendency to fill in with "descriptive" gestures, since I don't know enough yet.

Once a person knows sign, I consider not signing while speaking around a deaf person to be rather rude.

No embarrassment. There can be some awkwardness in new social situations, hearing or not, but I would want to be a part of her group of friends and have her a part of mine. Hopefully they would end up overlapping to some degree.
 Black_Hockey_Guy
Joined: 9/27/2005
Msg: 91
view profile
History
WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 12/1/2005 4:37:38 AM
When I was a kid, there was a deaf girl who lived near us and we became quite good friends, had a blast together and seemed to have no probs communicating that I can recall. Unfortunately, we moved to the other side of the city & I never saw her again....

I've often thought about taking a Sign Language course just for my own benefit...really it's just another language. This last course I'm taking should be the last "official" one that I "have" to take so maybe now, I'll find the time to see that through.

So yes, if I was attracted to someone and we had common interests, I wouldn't hesitate at all.

Cheers,

Dave aka BHG
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??