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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 BbqBat
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 3
How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I generally wait at least a week. The soonest I met someone, however, was the next day! So long as you meet them in a safe, public environment, it shouldn't really matter how soon you meet. Might as know sooner, rather than later, if you're compatable with them in a real life situation. The longest I waited was about three months! (Of course that was due more to distance than anything else).

If you're confused about whether you'll actually meet them or not, why don't you just ASK THEM out for coffee or something? I mean, geez, why waste your time wondering when you could know. The worst that could happen is that they don't want to meet you and, oh well, you just move on to someone else. Get to askin', boy!
 BbqBat
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 5
How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 10/27/2005 10:53:21 PM
Hmm that's really annoying. You could always try laying low to see if they continue to contact you. If they're really interested, they'll make the moves to make sure you're still alive! Otherwise, after about three weeks, I'd say it's time to move on. They should be able to get to know you in that amount of time! If they still don't want to meet you after that, either they're not into you or they're hiding some horrible secret about themselves (i.e. they're a four hundred pound, 90 year old man). In the meantime, don't be afraid to ask them out now and then.
 opticalnoise
Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 7
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How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 10/28/2005 12:43:18 AM
I think it depends on how fast you hit it off. If you are immediately having incredibly interesting conversations and are finding a good mutual attraction, I would think less than a week would be fine. But sometimes it takes a lot longer. One time it took me three years (not of POF) until I met her.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 14
How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:13:05 PM

A good facility to have would be length of time on the site displayed, and next to it number of confirmed dates (in the manner that testimonials are confirmed by both parties)...so someone who's been on a year and no dates you can stay away from.

OMFG...you ARE kidding, aren't you? Your "facility" would be based on the premise that PoF was the ONLY place both parties were looking to meet people. Now I can't speak for anybody else but it would purely scare the hell out of ME.
And what counts as a date? I've had some meetings with guys where there was no "romance" chemistry but we've become friends. What about dates someone goes
out on from OTHER dating/social networking sites, or dates/romantic involvements stemming from real life activities?

For the record, I've had NUMEROUS situations where I would have been glad to meet the guy under reasonable conditions( I do not go to the homes of men I've never met in person) even situations where I was going to be in his area or he in mine, but if I actually made a concrete offer to meet for coffee, or invited them to come to local(free) music/entertainment events, it's the big POOF! pfft he is gone,doesn't answer emails or return phone calls. F...orget that!

Nope, no listing of 'confirmed dates' with other members of this site...unless we can also list dates/meetings from OTHER sites, and dates generating from real life activity...
Cindy O
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 15
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How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:01:13 PM
I don't think there is a rule.. I met one guy the day after he contacted me on POF.. a few months before I met another guy after we talked off and on for about a month.. so it just depends on the person and the pace things go.

If you are both really busy at the time.. it might work better if you wait..

Just depends..
 URLOVEY
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 19
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How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:00:47 AM
I agree with BBQbat. I dont like to wait. Not because I am impatient, rather emails tell you very little and only what you want the other to see.
The only way there is an attraction is to meet.
As far as chicks telling you "don't worry we will meet sometime" kick um to the curb, they are playing games, and wasting time. What are they hiding?
If distance is a factor than that is different. But as long as the meeting is in a safe public place than there is no reason you cant meet up for 15-30 minutes for coffee or something..
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 20
How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:46:29 AM
There's a waiting period? Is that kind of like a waiting period to buy a handgun? (hmmmm, come to think of it ... some of the people on here should be treated as if they were a high powered weapon not to be taken into public or placed around small children!)
 sugarstwisted9
Joined: 11/21/2007
Msg: 21
How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 8/14/2008 10:01:57 AM
I agree with BBQbat as well, I don't like to wait, someone could be wonderful online, but in person not compatible with you at all. The sooner you know the better, you can scratch them off your list and move on to the next.
An internet persona may never be a real life person
:O
 STH III
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 22
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How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 8/14/2008 5:21:35 PM
LAYING LOW? That is just more games. Why cant people just be honest, either meet in a safe place or tell him you really don't see it happening. If you don't want to meet someone then why are you here with a profile?
 flyingiguana
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 28
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How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 8/15/2008 8:23:44 PM
more than a week would be pointless, would be kinda like having a pen pal. i'd much rather get to know someone by looking into their eyes instead of a bunch of text.
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 29
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How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 8/15/2008 9:31:49 PM
ASAP.

Ideally, you're setting up a meeting by your third e-mail.

Waiting is bad.
 geeleebee
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 34
How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 8/16/2008 4:20:14 PM
Put me in the 'meet as soon as possible' catagory. This way, you don't delude yourself into believing that he/she is the 'one'. Meet, talk, decide...asap.
 Xcen
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 44
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How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 9/3/2008 6:29:21 PM
Blakeman, msg 39, that is a nice, concise way of answering and I agree that the two parties should meet sooner, rather than later. To me talking is easier in person, the body language and mannerisms are in view, and one can get a quick sense of whether there is something special to pursue. Diverging a bit, I notice that the usually vocal group of "paranoid" POF women have NOT weighed in on the issue of length of time. Those are the ones that have to do a credit check, fingerprints, and have three letters of recommendation before they would ever meet for coffee or dinner and even then it has to be with an armed guard nearby. I am sure their answers would be in stark contrast to those posted so far.
 bellazingara
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 45
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How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 9/3/2008 6:34:01 PM
I don't have a set time frame. I've waited anywhere from one week to two years. I'd say two-three months has probably been the average for me overall.
 hamtaro
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 46
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How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 9/3/2008 6:34:01 PM
Yeah meeting ASAP is the best way to go. The longer you wait (especially if the emails are going well) the more you emotionally invest in a fantasy of someone and when you finally meet if there's nothing there, there's a lot of wasted time.

My best friend initially made an account just to write a testimonial for me but then decided to "play a bit", she had more emails in one hour than I'd gotten in a week, and she played with all the guys, but ended up emailing one guy somewhat regularly until she got tired of the whole thing. The poor guy probably thought he was getting somewhere seriously.

The odds are seriously stacked for women here and I know a lot do it just for the attention. Its depressing sometimes and it makes me wonder why we even try. It's for these reasons and more that I've already decided to split all initial dates, maybe if there's a 3rd date I might start paying but so far I haven't had one yet :)
 Sparkopassion
Joined: 11/23/2007
Msg: 47
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How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 9/7/2008 7:33:37 AM
To many timewasters who do not really know what they are looking for, many just want to chat and not meet up, if your not intrested just be honest and upfront

I say if you have not met within the month then its not really going to happen, unless they are far away in which case thats understandable.

After 500 texts and a full inbox of emails from some females, and weeks of arranging a meet for lunch...yes we will meet... and no i am busy this week crap from them has made me sit up, no more timewasters!
 Jer-C-Girl
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 48
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How long do you usually wait before meeting up with somebody you meet on POF?
Posted: 9/7/2008 7:43:52 AM
I like to email a few times and then about the third email to him, I would include my phone number. Leave it up to him to call (although they may send me their number too). By now he knows my work and gym schedule (as they both do tend to keep me somewhat busy). Then, if he is not intimidated by my schedule, he will call. I find that I don't get called too much but that's okay. I know by the possible lack of calling that he would be wasting OUR time. I'm not desperate for someone in my life --- if and when the time comes for both of us to find each other, we will.
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