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 AUTHOR
 Captain Sargasmo
Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 2
going dutchPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
i appreciate when a girl offers to pick up her portion...especially on the first date. it not only shows that she's not going to be dependant on me, but that she also sees herself as an equal to me, not someone lesser who needs to be "taken care of".

don't get me wrong...i like to treat and to be treated...but of the first date, it's all about 1st impressions...
 myfairmaiden
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 10
going dutch
Posted: 11/21/2005 4:39:23 AM
If you mutually agree to go out I always offer to pay half I don't want the guy to think that I'm using him. I don't mind at all. If the guy insists on paying thats fine. If there's a second date then I would want to pay to make things square.
 Missy
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 13
going dutch
Posted: 11/21/2005 6:43:13 AM
what's a date again?
 GeilerAffe
Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 17
going dutch
Posted: 11/21/2005 8:49:13 AM
I tend to be a bit on the chivalrous and typically take up the tab. But like Sar said, the fact a woman offers to pay does demonstrate a level of independence beyond wearing combat boots and no bra.

Twdll, you were kinda unclear back there, going Dutch is not the "old fashion" way.... Guy paying is.
 gotu
Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 21
going dutch
Posted: 11/21/2005 9:24:07 AM
Like fluffy said :P
 crazycurlz
Joined: 7/29/2005
Msg: 27
going dutch
Posted: 11/21/2005 1:56:49 PM
I'm all for going dutch...after all, if we're both earning a wage, why shouldn't we pay for ourselves? I mean sure, if you're dating for awhile there's going to be the occasional he treats or she treats situation...but why is there such an old-fashioned expectation by some people that a guy needs to being the one paying?
 gotu
Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 30
going dutch
Posted: 11/21/2005 2:47:10 PM
YOu know what they say - if you are not dutch you are not much...

Then again I will never arm wrestle a guy who wants to pay on the first date :P Its nice to be treated with a little oldfashioned goodness. I always offer -but love it when I am decline :P
 Kid Wicked
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 33
going dutch
Posted: 11/21/2005 6:35:02 PM
any woman that expects a guy to pay is a prostitute.

some broad started a thread not too long ago about how she's sick of guys that want to go dutch.

cheap skank.
 Captain Sargasmo
Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 35
going dutch
Posted: 11/21/2005 7:04:31 PM
it's sad but true.

in this day of equality (or at least a reasonable facsimilie) i think that if men and women expect to be treated as equals, they should treat each other as equals first.

that means splitting the bill, housework, financial contributions...yadda yadda...
 IncognitoGuido
Joined: 10/19/2007
Msg: 47
going dutch
Posted: 10/14/2008 3:12:43 PM
Ask any of the hootchie momma's I date if I pay my way... and I am sure you will hear some whoot whoots like the Jerry Springer show.

I like dating the Dutch... they are cool chicks, and they are them European types that like to do the nasty right after dinner... sometimes during.

Delores a man? Never... (boy did that put a wrinkle in my plans to pursue her)
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 64
going dutch
Posted: 10/16/2008 11:33:06 AM
I guess it all depends how you see a Date.

Some Guys expect something from a Woman because they paid the Expenses for a Date, and is probably the Reason many Ladies won't play Ball unless it goes "Dutch". Understood, makes Sense.

Its so circumstantial, there is no pat Answer. If I find anything a little ridiculous its 'Who Pays?' Threads as I consider it next to irrelevant and distracts from a Date or Meeting. In other Words, are there any smaller Fish to fry?

Discussing such a Topic before Meeting, provided the House isn't being re-mortgaged to pay the Bill to set up a Meeting, is about as silly as it gets.

I would usually steer the Date by getting in front of her if its a walk-up Coffee-Counter, then ask what she was having. Unless she signaled she wanted to pay herself, I'd take care of it, never any mention made of it again. A $ 2 Coffee/Drink is not something I could vaguely be bothered to concern myself with.

Different Circumstances may call for other Pay Formats. If the Date was set up in a rather informal Manner, such as "I'll be around at Starbucks 5:00 PM anyways, drop by if its convenient for you", one may already have purchased the Drink and be seated. If he/she then comes in, she may just say "Hi" and directly proceed to the Counter to buy something ... sometimes he/she may not want anything and just sits down and Conversation commences.

Dinners and the like on a first Meet are a little overboard, unless it has already been established by both Parties as an Item they would both enjoy for a Date. And even then I would adhere to existing Customs and take care of the Bill.

I see a Date as a Guest I have invited, and the same Standards apply. Nothing could be expected from anyone who attends a House Party, Swap Meet, Wedding or anything else on that Order. When someone becomes my Guest, its my Gag, and I bear all the Costs.
 IncognitoGuido
Joined: 10/19/2007
Msg: 65
going dutch
Posted: 10/16/2008 12:40:12 PM
Anyone who dates...... ultimately pays.


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