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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?      Home login  
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 huhoney
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 9
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?Page 1 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
yes!!!!!!!!!!!
 thb63
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 13
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Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 9:27:04 AM
He is being selfish and doesn't deserve you. It sounds like he is only out for himself. I was going to suggest showing him some porn movies or some online sex forums but it sounds like he would not be willing. Tell Clyde to meet the curb!
 UrAlternative
Joined: 4/5/2005
Msg: 16
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Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 12:06:58 PM
do you think you can handle this in the long term?.. then maybe hes not the right one for you...
 OneCoolChick
Joined: 9/13/2005
Msg: 21
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 3:17:16 PM

Before you kick his ass to the curb, you need to sit down and have a good heart to heart with him.


yes. I agree.

if he still refuses... or does it 'just for you' and makes a fuss so you can't enjoy it - dump him.
 mogrl
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 24
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 7:13:44 PM
Dump him unless you are willing to settle for less.
 OneCoolChick
Joined: 9/13/2005
Msg: 25
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 8:31:05 PM

But to leave someone simply because they won't perform oral, well I guess that shows where your priorities lay (not that I am saying there is anything wrong with it), just that recieving oral sex isn't important to everybody. Myself included.


yeah, it does show where priorities lay (and I think correctly it should be "lie" not lay)... because to some people, myself included, a satisfying sex life IS a priority. I've been in relationships with satisfying sex and in a relationship where it wasn't.... when the sex wasn't satisfying, the relationship was rocky, bitter, resentful and it was because of the sex life.

So if it's not a priority for you, that's fine... but it insinuate that for people who think sex is important are less than you... is both erronous and insulting.
 HaveYouMetHayden
Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 27
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Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/31/2005 1:28:14 AM
he obviously has fantasies that were communicated over the phone, so he isn't a total missionary sex failure. i think most people have fantasies they think will be laughed at or even thought repulsive, his are just much more common at the moment. he doesn't sound selfish, it just sounds like his ex-wife was made of junk mail and gaffer tape. you just need to decide if you want to invest the time and effort in him to let it all come out in person.

otherwise you do need to leave for your own needs and emotional/sexual wellbeing.
 undercover_gstring
Joined: 9/1/2005
Msg: 29
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/31/2005 9:00:48 AM
Yes, I would. Because most guys expect you to swallow and suck them, but them not return the favor? I don't think so. But perhaps I am shallow, but htat's me.
 jon525
Joined: 11/5/2005
Msg: 39
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Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 11/5/2005 5:30:36 AM
And some people think men are shallow.
 feel the wind
Joined: 3/29/2005
Msg: 47
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 11/9/2005 9:03:54 AM
wooooohoooooo,,,,,for sure, i do know i got something right!!!!!!!!!! ohh how i love to go down, anytime. hummmmm ???
 amberbrechey
Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 55
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 11/14/2005 1:14:54 AM
aww man that would be awful , hmm well you have already talked to him . Ya know every man I have every been with honestly loves doing it , I have to tell them to come up and finish the job . You know when your with someone the sexual chemistry is important , but sometimes the first couple times are kinda ehhhhhh then when you get to know the person and you are more comfortable with them it gets better and better and better lol you get the jist . The question is ,,,, is it a big deal to you or can you go without it . Also if he expects you to do it to him hell its only fair , What about while you are doing it to run roll around ontop of him and try to 69 , see if he would be into that since he is getting pleased at the same time he may get into it then .
 ThinkerGoneMad
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 59
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Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 2/19/2006 5:58:19 PM
I suspect he has no idea how to perform oral sex and he's relying on his vast knowledge of male oriented porn to satisfy you. I think you should tell him exactly how you feel and see if he may be intimidated or unsure about pleasing you. Give him suggestions or even rent some softcore (or hardcore) porn with examples of how you would like to be touched or pleasured. Watch it together...it may spark an unforgettable evening. Trust me, if you're not happy with the sex...the rest of the relationship will go downhill, no matter how great of a guy he is. :)
 ThinkerGoneMad
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 60
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Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 2/19/2006 6:05:50 PM
Eh, I'm not really a pro. I'm just very observant. I've found that most people are bad lovers because they are so absorbed with their own insecurities they can barely focus on their partner's stimulation and enjoyment. I think open honest discussions would make sex more pleasurable and less nerve-racking for all parties involved.
 cococarter
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 61
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 2/19/2006 7:01:52 PM
say im not going down on you if your not going down on me. simple
 huhoney
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 64
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:59:32 PM
you know the coolest part about going down? 69... reciprocation....
 miss_thanggg1
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 67
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 3/12/2006 9:29:21 PM
First id hint around, then id be blunt, then if he didnt by the 2nd or 3rd time-HE'S OUTTTTA HERE< NEVER SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE UNHAPPY BETWEEN THE SHEETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 ceastwood
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 72
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Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 3/18/2006 8:21:35 AM
dear zin,
please leave this guy,,i had an experience like this,but it was my ex ,,we were married for 25 yrs,,and sex,love, tenderness,etc,,just got worse,,find a man that thinks you are the sexiest woman on the planet,,and wants to do everything with you,,trust me on this,,please,,,
 bmadmax40
Joined: 11/27/2004
Msg: 78
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 4/17/2006 3:03:21 PM
Hmm, funny thing, in some cultures, if a guy go down on a girl, he is treated as a loser and he will be raped by men later on. Girls, who like oral sex maybe outcasts, too.
Does anybody realize that modern sexual behavior is indeed modern? As in some cultures and religions oral, anal sex and sex with animals, or any other kind of behavior, is either accepted or not, then it would be up to the guy to decide whether to do it or not. It will be up to his partner to accept the fact, wait or talk to the guy.

Anyway, it takes time to accept the thought, learn and overcone fears. STD is not the last consideration.
Good topic, though.

At the same time, is there a chance that the guy chose the partner of wrong sex?
 redviking
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 79
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can't believe a man doesn't like to do that.
Posted: 4/17/2006 6:14:50 PM
"HE'S PROBABLY GOT ISSUES ABOUT HIS SEXUALITY, HE MADE YOU WAIT A MONTH...NOT NORMAL FOR A GUY... UNLESS HE HAS A HERPES OUTBREAK OR SOME OTHER STD... BE CAREFUL, SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT WITH THIS GUY!!!!"

Gotta love female logic... guys who come on too strong are "pigs" and guys who value themselves, their personal well-being, and the woman they're with enough to wait a month are "psychos"!



If I had to guess I'd say the guy likely doesn't have much experience, has concerns about the relationship, has some relationship fears he needs to deal with... or perhaps there are hygiene or reciprocity issues! Yes Virginia, it could be a little funky "down there" or it could be that, well, erm, uhhm, you're not the sexual goddess you think you are.

Either way, the idea of ditching him before having a real discussion about what's going and and trying to resolve the issue, if there are good reasons to preserve the relationship, is basically a cop-out and seems indicative of someone who is unwilling to put effort into a relationship, unwilling to face their own fears, issues and imperfections, or unable to handle difficult situations effectively.
 bmadmax40
Joined: 11/27/2004
Msg: 81
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 4/17/2006 8:49:35 PM
I think that all of you girls are lieyng to yourselves.
Here is some insight to relationships:

Guys are being driven nuts when a women ignores them. They have to prove, then chase the girl and so on. It is normal.

Let's say, a woman gets persued by 9 guys, who want her. The 10th guy have pride and plays the game. immideatelly, he is the man. At the same time, a woman will feel attraction. As long as the game is going on, a woman wants for the guy to want her. Have to assume that the guy is not weak. Women will try to prove their beauty. I doubt that most of you will let a guy go just because he is a man in his pride. If you fall in love, you will do everything to attract the guy, including to go down on you and will try to make him to do so. After that, many will lose interest.

If it is a health hazard, a matter of trust, pride or simply luck of experience is a different issue.
Ha, at least you will know that the guy is not going risk your health and go down on anybody if he is going to cheat on you.

Being scared and being relactant are two different things.
 crazycurlz
Joined: 7/29/2005
Msg: 82
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 4/18/2006 2:06:45 AM
my ex just wasn't into it, not even once...strangely as our intimate life was crumbling near the end of our relationship he complained about how i never gave him head anymore, and i pointed out his lack of reciprocation. if you want it, you gotta give it.

okay, this wasn't the reason i ended the relationship, but it was a symptom of his more selfish qualities which were certainly part of the problem.
 WildOrchid68
Joined: 3/14/2006
Msg: 86
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 4/18/2006 4:23:06 PM
No.. I wouldn't leave my guy if he didn't like to eat p*ssy... there are so many other things that get me off.. if he's great at all the other things that make me happy ~ and sexually satisfied ~ then I don't see a problem.

I don't believe in forcing anyone into doing things outside their comfort zone.. so if he didn't care to.. that's fine ~ he just better make it up to me in other ways.. that's all! lol
 hellbilly72
Joined: 7/13/2005
Msg: 90
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 4/18/2006 6:23:26 PM
I say leave him and come here and see me.....I'll give you all the oral stimulation you need.....I love going down on a woman and have given an ex so many orgasms' that she was too weak to get up afterwards. So if it's important to you, leave him.
 WildOrchid68
Joined: 3/14/2006
Msg: 95
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 4/19/2006 1:40:00 AM
Ummm.. yah miso ~ obviously it is okay with me.. otherwise I wouldn't have said it.
Not quite sure what your point was to address me in your post... *rolls eyes*



 bmadmax40
Joined: 11/27/2004
Msg: 98
Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 4/19/2006 7:13:14 AM
What's "going down on her" has to do with love? What sex with the opposite sex has to do with being gay? What has sex to do with love? A lot and not much. I know, it is the same, yet, it is different. I know that expectations are hard to dismiss. However, would you really-really let the guy go? Some folks are hypocrites. How much sex there can be in life? We are not always in the 20th, 30th, 40th, 50th and so on. Would you really betray a person for his preferences? Only percentage of people would have anal sex, so is this would be a reason to gave up on the relationship? Is there a reason to gave up on the person if he/she becomes disabled or just plain simply doesn't enjoy sertain things just not being aware or not willing to change own behavior?
Of course, the talk here just in general. Of course, thinking about hypothetical relationship makes people to chose that they expect from life. I just want to hear the opposite what may happen in real life.
I did it in one night stand, I did it suspecting my ex not being faithful. I didn't do it falling in love at 16. I learned to enjoy and I would enjoy. However, does anybody percieve a soulmate as sexual object? For how long the sex drive can keep the fire in the soul burning? There are many other things to enjoy in a relationship.
I guess, it is time to start a thread whether or not a guy should dump her for refusing to give a head or not enjoying it or some other things.
I am glad that u all brought all this up. LOL
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