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 AUTHOR
 former beach girl
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 1
Background checks?? Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Ok heres the situation, what do you think?

I met this guy online about 6 months ago. After exchanging e-mail, IM's and phone calls for about 3 months due to my being a single parent and his "work" schedule. We finally get a chance to meet, His suggestion. We have a great lunch, he even brought flowers.

Final this month after having many meals together, movies and other 12 hour days together, we agreed to that next step. So we meet at the apartment he is staying at, as we part HE suggests meeting again the following day for lunch. I called to confirm details, everything at 10am was a go then at 2pm when I show up he is a no show I called and got VM. I waited 30 minutes tryed again same thing. I figured work problems no big deal. Got home and called once more, however this time I find out that both numbers are disconnected. The next morning I go to his apartment to find that its Corperate housing and he is not there,

I start to worry, stupid me. While searching him out I find that I have been lied to the entire time. I find online that not only was I given the wrong last name but also everything I was told over the past 6 months is a lie. He is married lives within 10 minutes of my house, has 3 kids.

Never once was there any signs as to what was going on, this whole thing makes me think that I should be checking guys out a bit more from now on.

So what do you think would you freaked out if someone "googled" you before you ever met? Or am I behind the times and are people already doing this???
 rainbow_fish
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 2
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:25:22 AM
You should do much more than google.
There are sites online where you can do 100 background checks for about 40 dollars.
Takes about 10 checks to check one person. It will tell you all last addresses, number of arrests and type as well as convictions, number of marriages, children from each and divorces, if any warrents are out for them. You will have to go by gut on mental illness as there is currently no way to check medical records.... and you will have to have them have a blood test to confirm certain diseases, but they are NOT limited to STD's... so you will never really be sure about that. I not only google but check my countys tax bases. I found one man who had owned a home before with his spouse who was a man... ET VIR in legal terms.
So, be careful, you never know what is in peoples backgrounds, who they might be.. unless of course you don't care and some don't care. Good luck to them.
 Joy.
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 3
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:28:15 AM
If it ever gets to the point where I have to go to those extremes, I might as well give up altogether. There are always going to be liars and players. You live and learn but to never trust anyone again is much worse to me so I choose to wing it and hope for the best.

Not all men are bad.
 Douglajl
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 4
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:35:27 AM
for $9.00 I can tell you your last 3 address's, previous and current phone numbers. What schools you went to and how many speeding tickets you've had.

Information age, you know where to look and you can get all the information you want (or don't want) on somebody. I've yet to do it becouse I'm a trusting individual and would hate to go that route but it is possible to do.
 Joy.
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 5
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:45:21 AM
You said that you found online that he had given you the wrong last name. I'm not quite sure how you can google that info. Let's see....his name is John Doe so I google him and viola! it turns out that John Doe is really John Smith. Damn his little black heart for lying to me. I've never given anyone I've met online my real last name until I am comfortable with them and I seriously doubt they could find out what my real name is online much less all the other details of my life.

If you'd like to try....I say my name is Joy Jones, I live in Dallas Texas and I am a marketing exec for multi-billion dollar, fortune 25 company. I have never been married and have no children (which is a lie). Now let's see how many of you can discover my true identity and all the little details of my life from what I have told you. I just don't think it's that easy.
 rainbow_fish
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 6
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:56:05 AM
trust me, it is that easy.

lol
you have 10 dollars? you can find out the general background of anyone.
The thing is I only will do this if I am interested in someone, not for kicks or
to snoop into peoples lives for no reason.
If I have no interest in someone... there is no reason I care if they have been arrested for beating up the wife, molesting the kids, having lived in 6 places in 2 years because I won't be around them anyway.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 7
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:58:16 AM
We don't know what info she had or used, but you should try it sometime Joy, do a google on yourself. I found out on this site, if I googled my screen name, it listed all my forum posts! Kinda weird. I googled an old friend once and found out he was a pallbearer in his grandfathers funeral. Didn't find out where he lived now, but I knew his Grandpa died. lol
 rainbow_fish
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 8
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:12:11 AM
@mary, most people don't know how to trace IP numbers.
but I must say...... very good work. You know that not ony saved you from years of therapy, possible shooting by his ex... and a wide assortment of other potential violence....
STD's and who knows what else....
it seems that your like me.... and BLUE is not our color :)

 former beach girl
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 9
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:17:09 AM
I was lucky enough to have his domain name i started thinking that i could find a friend and go from there but once i got the domain owner information including registared address i took a drive by in a borrowed car then called the house from out front amazing how quickly things went from there. i was able to find screen names online and postings to other dating sited many alterantive in nature but profiles on all stated he was single never married.

I felt I had to inform his wife I called he answered told me yes his wife knew what he was doing he actually gave her the ophone i told her everything and even printed everything out from what was still in my pc and hand delieved it to her. lol that same night he was out of that house.

dont lie to me its not worth it... lol or so now steve knows that
 former beach girl
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 10
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:23:27 AM
sugar

he made the mistake of giving me a name and work place. also the domain seach was the biggest help i even found out that his step father passed away last year found his moms name and current address and where his kids go to school and where his wife works and that they both are invovled in thier sons school. once i found out about the kids that gave me more. they live in same school district as i do and where i know many people. lol his down fall was he should have used a yahoo or hotamil email where i couldnt find him.
 rainbow_fish
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 11
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:25:21 AM
^^^ that is lightweight stuff

I prefer the real deal... the last 5 addys... the number of arrests and convictions, marriages, children. I dont care if he was in a funeral. That is minor
 Lazyboyz
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 12
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:30:24 AM
Thankfully in Canada it's illegal to obtain information on ANYONE over the net.

I was surprised that in the US you CAN google ANYBODY ANYTIME and obtain
criminal records, credit history EVERYTHING!!! Scarey!!
 Douglajl
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 13
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:34:57 AM

ok i'm really confused how the heck can they find you, like joy says, you give all the wrong information, how can they find u from that? they can't!!


There are security programs you can have running on your system that can monitor all incoming traffic. Also utility's you can back step somebody's connection to trace back to their IP. From there it's a pretty simple matter, records are stored, easily obtained.

Thats just the computer side of things, you also must watch what you say when your to relaxed in a conversation. Very easy to track back someone if the right information is given out.

As Joy said, never give out your real name, fake your middle and last. If you live in a fairly small town, don't give out to many details about your surroundings. Some of the most innocuous details can give a smart individual the information needed to trace you back.

I'm not saying it is easy either, I have caught myself slipping on many occasions during conversations and have even done some stupid stuff on dates but for the most part I am very security minded and it's always in the forefront of my mind.
 rainbow_fish
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 14
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:43:34 AM
I have nothing to hide and would welcome anyone I become involved with to
get background info on me.
I see no problem with it.
 Douglajl
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 15
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:46:34 AM

I have nothing to hide and would welcome anyone I become involved with to
get background info on me.
I see no problem with it.


Sure you do, the same tools can be used to find you and do you harm if said person has those intentions.
 rainbow_fish
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 16
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:53:29 AM
@doug, that is why I give no info about myself until I have met someone...
and why I take time to get to know them
It lessens those chances... I also have a good BS detector... some guys will even agree as I have busted them posting ads as a woman and BSing.

and also why I have guns... a mean dog...
and a chainsaw at the front door. He would have to be pretty crazy to mess with me.
Far as identy theft, I have some protection in place.. not fool proof but its not bad either.

I do try to be careful.
I know what they can do.

I go fisrt by my gut... then if things progress... take it slowly from there.
 livewirehere
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 17
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 12:40:00 PM
I did one on the first person I met from the Internet.... We had talked by phone and via e-mail for almost 6 months before we met ((as well as seen each other via web cam))... But he lived in another state, and I just didn't feel totally comfortable. I think it only cost me $45 through a place online, and I was able to find out he didn't have a criminal record and had never served any time in prison.. It was worth it for me~~
 ~Dangerous Liaison~
Joined: 8/22/2005
Msg: 18
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 12:42:55 PM
you know, i wish i would have done back ground checks on half the people i have been associated with over the years. But, you dont know until you learn so now we learned. I dont do background checks unless i get this gut feeling that i should.
 Joy.
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 19
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 12:52:40 PM
I just googled myself...fake name, real name...nothing there. I guess I'm too smart to give anyone my work email or list any real information in my yahoo or msn profile. This is only given once I am comfortable enough with that person to share my life. After that, I'm an open book and they can do all the background checks in the world on me....everything I tell them will be the truth. I am also upfront about not divulging too much information to begin with and so far, everyone has been understanding of this.

I still maintain that I prefer to give the benefit of the doubt. If they fool me, shame on ME but if I lose all faith in people, what's left???

Maybe I am a FOOL, but I still believe in the good in people....even MEN!
 uandme33
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 20
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 4:45:59 PM
I try to do background checks on people all the time before out first date. Most of these records(past convictions, marriages, child support, even traffic tickets) are all public record. You can go on the courthouse to where they live, work, etc. and find if they have had any court records by doing a search. You can also go on the white page search on the internet and do a reverse email search and will tell you about them if not an unlisted number. If you can't find any info about them.....make sure you meet in public for awhile until you can trust them. I have even gone by their house to make sure they didn't lie. You can never be too careful on the internet. You will definately have a background check on you if you ever get to the point of being around my child.
 smpackage
Joined: 8/3/2005
Msg: 21
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 5:52:26 PM
Are there any free back ground checks other then googling people??
 DavePinFlorida
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 22
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 6:33:21 PM
I googled my last name and found there are several of my (not common) last name around..

(Yes I came up under the search.. for computer repairs because of my website..)

So I looked deeper in on some.. and found:

Thomas J. P******* has held 2 patents:

5362827 Solution process for preparation hydrophobically functionalized cationic...
This invention provides a process for preparing novel hydrophobically associating polymers containing cationic functionality which are useful for clean-up of waste waters containing organic contaminants. These water soluble polymers contain both water soluble and water insoluble monomers.

and under Thomas John P******* this one:

6110880 Polyolefin block copolymer viscosity modifier
A viscosity modifier comprising a low molecular weight block copolymer including A blocks and B blocks, wherein the A blocks comprise at least about 93 wt. % polyethylene and the B blocks comprise a copolymer of between about 40 wt. % to 75 wt. % ethylene and at least one other a-olefin.

Holy shit.. and I thought I was a friggin nerd! Then I happened across

Dr. Jane P******* another smart person!

A doctor! I'm starting to feel like an underacheiver.

Michael P******* won the Pennsylvania Lottery!

Lucky **stard!

Then this article about Jake P*******:

Chapmanā€™s interest in reaction mechanisms and theoretically interesting molecules led him to adopt techniques that allowed direct experimental detection of reactive species. Early efforts involved IR spectroscopy of intermediates generated upon photolysis of neat precursors at 77K. A critical advance came in the early 1970s when he was introduced to rare-gas matrix isolation spectroscopy by Jake P*******. They adapted this technique to study reactive intermediates in organic chemistry, including the classic cases of cyclobutadiene and o-benzyne.

Umm.. okay.. I decided to stop here now.. I've come to realize.. that everyone with the last name P******* is a God damned nerd! My geeky friggin family is cursed to nerd-dom! So ladies.. if you want a kid who'll grow up to be a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon, I'll sell my sperm!
 rainbow_fish
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 23
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 6:36:38 PM
You will have to wait in line to sell sperm...
it seems to be free and easy obtainable on dating sites.

 DavePinFlorida
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 24
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 8:22:29 PM
Oh yeah.. shows what you know.. since I changed my mail preferences to "anyone" instead of women only.. I've had 17 orders from homosexual males who wanted it for "brain food".
 KnuteRoc
Joined: 8/25/2005
Msg: 25
Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 9:38:40 PM
Krikey!!

Now I knew I could google myself but I have no real data pertaining to me on the net, well not that I can find anyway.

But daaaayum... I googled my screenname, which I've used since forever on every site, from games to dating to whatever, and I see quite the trail! WOW.

Yep, POF posts did show up too... heheh...

Very interesting.
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