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Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 1
are the pay sites scamming usPage 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Well this is just my opinion.Maybe I really don't get email from my sites I visit while they are still paid for,but it is awfully funny when my subscription runs out they have messages for me again.0 for a month,then 4 or 5 messages to sucker me in to pay for them.Are they sending those new ones themselves.Haven't met any of them yet that popped up later.Some are from russia, rumania , and where ever.I didn't fall off the dumb wagon yesterday and when I did it wasn't on the stupid side.The only sites to trust is free ones.The other ones do not want you off the market ,it doesn't pay.They want you to fail.They also I think are holding back emails for 30 days or so so when you do make contact it is too late or they forgot about you,or they have spotted someone better by then.Needless to say those m$#@$!@# aren't getting more of my money.Some sites let you see who is on and have chat direct and I have found a few girls that way.Not to many from emails from other people.Who is to say that when girl replies she actually said no, maybe it was yes and they changed it,I have had way to many no's and almost zero yes i would like to date you.Kevin
Joined: 9/15/2005
Msg: 2
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 7:41:48 AM
Kevin, yes they are, especially places like eHArmony. Same thing happened to me. 0 for 3+ weeks then 4 or 5 during the last days or so.
Back in the good days, Match and Yahoo were basically free now they are pays and not worth it. Another thing is that I find a very low - extremly low success rate when I initiate the first contact
Joined: 3/30/2005
Msg: 3
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 8:28:39 AM
I agree, pay sites are scamming us. I am on several pay sites and three free ones. I get more e mail from the pay sites, but to reply I have to give a credit card number, no thax.
One site sends auto "winks", to let you know someone is interested, I know a woman who sent me a wink and asked her why because we stopped dating, she never sent one.
One other site I am on wants you to pay only 6 dollars, but when I did, the women live in another state and I put in the profile that I want to meet women from my own state.
Funny story off the subject, someone wasted 20 dollars to meet me, we chatted on messenger for a while and when we described where we lived, it turned out she lived three doors down. We could have met at the local supermarket, which is where I hang out with my new pick up line, Haven't I seen you on line?
Joined: 1/7/2004
Msg: 4
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 9:56:37 AM
I agree on the paysites and with the comments from the other gentleman here. The more Adult Sites are even more fun. Put your profile out on any of them and you start receiving e-mails for young babes with the hot bods. Sometimes 20 in a day. I think what they do is tell these girls that they can have a free profile if they e-mail at least 20 per month that aren't members to get them to sign up.......................

To the guy that meets them at the Supermarket............take your kids with you and cute little girls (like I have) work better then boys. They are like bait.............

Joined: 12/24/2004
Msg: 5
view profile
i'm curious
Posted: 11/3/2005 10:11:14 AM
which free sites have you tried out?
Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 6
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 10:11:30 AM
I totally agree 2 days ago I decided to delete 2 of the 4 dating nets I am signed up for, knowing the 34.95/mo. to e-mail, or even see what there message was,etc..I'ts B.S. Cigars to plenty of fish Admin. for bringing up the ?. They rock... I'm corresponding with ggggggggggggggggggreat guys it's easy and fun.
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 7
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 2:20:21 PM
Well no sheet sites like Yahoo Personals are a big scam. I've emailed a bunch of chicks on there, and either got no reply or spam in my regular email to go join another paysite. With fake sexy type letters from girls telling me to go to their profile on a different site. Because I thought I'd use the free 7-day trial to email these girls and give them my real email address...a mistake. The girls were total fakes. ESPECIALLY the average to good looking ones. All the Fuglies were real I believe. And of course there's the Russian scams...they say they are in your area, so you contact them or they contact you, then you find out they are in Russia. You talk with them for a few weeks on regular email outside of Yahoo or whatever, then they want to fly to America to meet you. Thing is, they have about half the plane fare, and then they ask for you to help out with the rest. Then you KNOW you are dealing with a scammer...the one I talked to was pretty clever too, even sent me a picture I specifically requested to see of her at her hair salon job, where she supposedly worked. And I say "she", it was more than likely a greasy slimeball named Vladimir or some crap, sending me pics of his damn girlfriend or partner in crime wench. Luckily, I checked around while this was going on
and got wise to the trick being played on my butt, or I woulda been just another gullible basssstard. With special emphasis on TARD.
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 8
i'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2005 6:29:54 AM
Hi,only one so far.Plentyoffish maybe just this one less to keep track of.They all use us for advertising even the pay sites so might as well use free ones.Linux is free and a lot of severs use it keyword for linux is free.
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 9
i'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2005 12:35:39 PM
Lets see where to I begin. i got sucker into, lavalife, and of course yahoo. I had no luck on those sites. Its just a waste of me, and of course i do get those damn emails from someone saying they saw my profile and want to meet me. Blah, blah, blah, i get sucker in and nothing, no response. I'm just trying to get back into the dating scene again. Online dating its not what i expected.
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 10
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:58:47 AM are absolutly right! BIG SCAM!
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 11
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/5/2005 12:44:11 PM
My problem is I live in a bad single town. The man out rate the woman here. So their is alot of single guys in san antonio and not enough single woman. I only gotten like two emails, one for my curtins and another one response that one day she was into me, then the next just drifted off. she said she been busy and hasnt be able to return my phone call which i heard that line before. I know better enough it doesnt take like 5 min just to say hi to someone your interested in. On a funny note....i have an extra spurs ticket now. Who should i take?
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 12
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/5/2005 3:02:47 PM

The grass is never greener my friend.

Agreed. Why look for greener grass when you can just try to make YOUR OWN grass greener!
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 13
view profile
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/5/2005 6:28:14 PM
Yea ... I was on the paid sites too ... still have two memberships that are running out this month. I haven't been back to them since I signed on here. The reason is further below ... read on.

There are even more "players" on the paid sites than here ... that's why I sort of just chuckle when I hear all the people here complaining. Don't misunderstand ... I know it's not funny that people are out there playing games with others, and I am sympathetic. It's mean-hearted and cruel and I can't understand why people participate in that behavior. Time is so precious and I would never consider wasting it to hurt others' feelings.

The reason I chuckle is ... it's just blows right by me why someone would pay to play with others' feelings. It's like ... if they're really not interested in finding a partner, why the Hey are they paying to be there? I guess the only way to describe it is ... "Pay to Play"?

I'm one of the lucky ones on here ... I'm 56 years old and found a man on my first try ... almost exactly my age. Fate? I don't know. Right after I signed on here, I did a search and just as I was in the process of composing an email to a gentleman who I thought looked interesting, the computer told me I had a message from POF.

Okay, I thought maybe it was just a "welcome" letter and was going to ignore it at first, but then I decided to look at the email anyways ... ah, the curiosity of a woman ... I broke off writing the email to that gentleman and took a look at the message and believe it or not, it was from the very man I was in the process of trying to write a letter to!

I'm moving to Hawaii in spring 2006 to be with him.
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 14
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/5/2005 8:42:11 PM
I’ve used “internet” dating for longer than I care to admit, but I have actually dated several nice gals. So yes, at least some of the postings are for real. Though I’ve come to the conclusion that there are so many male fish in the pond that gals simply go window shopping and pick the most attractive and affluent. Just take a look at the gender ratio of the cast of characters on this thread- most are guys; and there are far many more guys looking on these sites than are women. I’ve also learned many things about some of the sites out there so I thought I’d share some of them.

I’m not professing to be an expert on all pay sites, but I can state the following:

History- back in 1999/2001, excite and yahoo had the market share for personals- they were both free- and a user could place an actual email address in their ad, or use the house mailbox. And both of these sites also maintained separate adult personals classifieds- which were free as well, and there were no restrictions or censorship of any text or photo. At some point one or both of these sites started offering “extra” services like an outgoing voice greeting for a fee. Then a drastic change in this market occurred. Excite personals and classifieds listings disappeared, presumably bought out by another corporate entity, perhaps yahoo; with the intent of eliminating their competition, and opening the door for yahoo to charge for classifieds- personals, used cars, or any classified listing since they then became the only game in town. Things haven’t been the same since then, and we are fortunate to have Plenty of Fish at this time Match and yahoo personals are a multi million dollar enterprise. Think about it- if Plenty of Fish can offer this service to us for free, and still make some profit from the limited advertising; then the pay sites are racking in a fortune- and not giving us a fair exchange. The owners of POF found a niche market where they have the opportunity to make some revenue and sacrificed an attempt to compete with the giants. And POF is certainly entitled to receive their advertising revenue for their investment and effort in creating and maintaining this site. Lets hope this site continues for everyone.

Russian gals are rushing to meet ya- Okay, probably everyone has gotten these messages, but as cynical as I can sometimes be; I would suspect that the scamming is not originated by the pay site, but by scammers wanting money so your special sweetie pie can afford an airline ticket to arrive immediately and fall into your awaiting arms.

Altered content of email- As for Latintango’s suspicion - “Probably when a woman answers your mail with a : Yes baby, I'd love to meet you, they change the message to read : You f*****ng scumbug, get off my face or I'll call the internet police...” I doubt this actually happens for real. I don’t think the pay sites have the time, or even need to bother to go through such extremes; when they can use other simpler methods. And if this alleged fraud could be proved, than it would be the basis for a major legal fraud suit. However------despite claims that match does not screen emails between members, read this-

FACT- if you are a paying member of Match, and include your email address in an outgoing email, match will COVERTLY REPLACE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS with your username at match address- so unless the person you are responding to has a paid membership, they will not be able to communicate with you. They have a computer program which scans the email for a “@, and dot com” characters, despite their claim that they do not screen messages.

FACT- I have experienced mail on both yahoo and match that sometimes mysteriously DISAPPEARED and never got to the intended recipient- despite a copy and acknowledgement of the “sent message”.

FACT- I have personally experienced DELAYS of up to several days with incoming or outgoing messages.

FACT- BE FOREWARNED - STALE ADS- match recently has changed the longest lack of online activity level to “less than 3 weeks” I was not able to locate any listings on their site that stated any less activity level. THIS IS FRAUD !! THEY WANT YOUR MEMBERSHIP $$$$, SO THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THE SWEETIE WHOSE PROFILE YOU’RE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH HASN’T CHECKED IN FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS. Yahoo recently removed their classification of “over 3 months” and so the oldest ads will now say “within 3 months” This DECEPTION is very intentional. On POF, you can easily determine the last activity by placing the profile in your favorites, and it will show an exact date for the last login. So you don’t waste your time responding to someone who is no longer in the pond. And even if you choose to do so, at least the communication will be free.

FACT- I can’t swear this is intentional, but when you specify a specific DISTANCE on a search, match, yahoo, and unfortunately also POF will give you results that exceed the distance up to 100%, so a 50 mile search will give you results of a 100 mile radius- to cities you’ve probably never heard of before- but would ASSUME are within the specified distance- since computers are supposed to be exact. I suspect that the real source of this is some commonly used software program that just isn’t accurate.

FACT- on match, if you do a SEARCH for profiles with or without photos, you will NOT get 100% of the profiles. If you want to check out all the fish, er ah I mean potential partners out there, you need to do a separate search for with or without photo’s; and also just profiles with photos. SO……..what this means is that if you have a pic posted on match; your perfect match (or just a great date) might never find your ad- regardless if you are paying for a subscription or not. I went to great lengths to get an answer from match on this one, and their response was “the choice of search options are simply designed to provide a different “blend” of results”. How is that for ethics and responsibility ?

FACT- most if not all of the pay sites receive the majority of their revenue from folks that are enticed for whatever reason to sign up for that “3 – 7 day” FREE period, and FAIL to CANCELL their “FREE” membership, so they wind up getting stung for a month or even longer- same applies if they fail to cancell after the 30 day period, or whatever the membership duration they subscribed to. THERE OUGHT TO BE A LAW AGAINST THE AUTOMATIC CHARGING OF CREDIT CARDS, unless the subscriber chooses that option.

Well that’s enough of my rambling for now. Stay tuned for the book.

Good luck fishing
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 15
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/5/2005 9:54:24 PM
wow. thank goodness i've NEVER sent ANY money AT ALL to a dating site.

I hope that these scamming nutheads get what they deserve.
Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 16
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/6/2005 11:10:03 AM
Here's my two cents worth...In this VIRTUAL world of singles, I believe the numbers of males outweigh the number of females. Among my single girlfriends, I am definitely in the minority when it comes to utilizing the internet to build my lovelife. I try to pursuade them, but many have not tried online dating, for fear of the few oddballs. I keep in mind that the idea of having to pay to mingle with singles is as old as church dances and moose lodge mixers, complete with the watered-down drinks and cheesy cover bands. What this free site does for me, is remove the money factor from the meeting singles experience. I'm happy to have learned about this site. Lastly, there is an equivalent to the Russian bride scam...ladies beware of the Arabian Knight scam!
Joined: 10/21/2005
Msg: 17
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/6/2005 11:47:06 AM
It doesn't matter whether it is free or not. When people do not have the courtesy of replying, even saying no thanks, then it all seems like a scam.
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 18
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/6/2005 10:09:09 PM
[/It doesn't matter whether it is free or not. When people do not have the courtesy of replying, even saying no thanks, then it all seems like a scam.]

Jim- welcome to club dating. Hate to tell ya, but this happens to everyone- for various reasons. But how can you call it a scam ? What is the scam here ? Discourtesy perhaps, but not more than that. Do you get offers from junk mail, and email spam that you have no interest in ? Do you take the time to write back to every sender and tell them “no thanks” ? Most folks don’t respond back for two reasons. First, they probably have other things to do like check out the other ten profiles on the same page with your incoming message; and secondly, most people don’t like to give negative messages if they don’t have to. At least on Plenty of Fish they have it set up so you can see if and when an email is opened. If you see “read/deleted”, that is a communication of sorts, perhaps not as courteous as a reply, but it nevertheless makes a statement. And if you just see “read”, then maybe that person is still thinking about you as a possible candidate- from the field of the other 99 candidates. Just keep fishing- you’ll get a bite eventually. Trick is reeling em in
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 19
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/8/2005 9:44:46 PM
I have to say that at 45 and on a pay site I get a lot of hits from all ages and requests for dates from 21 & up. I post honestly and use updated photos. I go out to club to dance and it is much the same. Think the sites could definitely charge less.
Joined: 3/27/2001
Msg: 20
view profile
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/9/2005 3:37:18 PM
Sending any kind of a reply to someone is usually a invitation for more email. If your a popular women and get 30+ emails a day the last thing you want is another message
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 21
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/10/2005 6:01:40 AM
The scam part of this is the email replies,whether it be russian's,people from 1,500 miles away and you said 50,women that don't exist,all of these things I get when subscription runs out.Then to see the mail they try to get my money.I just look at who has viewed me lately and there they are russians new york people and I'm hoosier.When you put down email from 50 miles and get these from other people 3,400 miles away,to try to get me to renew subscription,that is misleading and not trying to help me for the money I paid the month before.I have currently 4 or 5 down for the count .No more money from me "ever".When you get 0 email for the month then get six or eight and if you hold off long enough I will probably have 1,000 after from some sites.If you pay for more than a month,like six mos then email drops off for the next 6 mos at that site.Short term pay lots more mail,long term none,they have your money till then.They don't want anyone to suceed!That is the fact.They want us to fail,the longer were cruising for chicks the more they have they're free server up.One site I was on that started with E got my money then kept sending me people from everywhere but Indiana.One in every 20 to 30 was from Indiana,and I said 100 miles not 1,500 they are not blocking the girls from to far away and blocking the ones close by .Distance,,, states ,,are critical for there links and those are the things that make you fail in relationships.
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 22
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/10/2005 6:27:10 AM
I maybe am not a paid advertiser for the site ,,this is true.I'm sorry I brought this up,because I will succeed thru my own contacts and not wait on email from the site.I will Instant message whoever I want whenever I want .I have only had dates this way .NO MIDDLEMAN.They decide after chatting with me.I will succeed!!I won't pay for singles crap sites anymore.FREE FREE FREE at last and probably MARRIED MARRIED MARRIED again am I thinkin.
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 23
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/10/2005 6:54:51 AM
No. If you are seriously looking that's where you go. POF is a zoo in comparison.
Joined: 11/4/2005
Msg: 24
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/10/2005 7:50:14 AM
Actually I took a look at your profile. I think you are a very nice looking man, I live way down in San Antonio Texas, am 47. Age doesn't matter. There are many reasons to be attracted to someone, usually it has less to do with looks than personality & compatibility.
I try to keep in shape and healthy. No one believes that I am 47. I think I look better than alot of younger women. I have even on 'myspace' had alot of guys in their 20's wanting to date me. I don't belong in there anymore. The age group is really too young for me. I did belong to the somespamsites and got alot of mail. Most were decent enough and really looking for someone. It seemed it was easy for people to sneek their e-mail address's in there & I was able to contact without paying anything some of them.
I look for the paying places to go out of business one day. I love the forums at this site. I am associating with alot more people than I usually do and the subjects are really interesting.
Joined: 11/4/2005
Msg: 25
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/10/2005 8:18:29 AM
When I say on the letter above that I looked at your profile it was the older man from Canada I was replying to. I hit reply on his message. Why is this system making it look like I am answering somebody else than the intended person. My other letter was for a man up in his 50's or 60's that posted in here. I will from now on write personally to the individuals instead of reply by their pictures. I notice that some people's replies are in the right spot, but mine sure didn't show that way. I don't want to take out the time to write to the owners of this site and ask them to fix their system.
The way my reply letter looks, it appears I am writing to the person who started this subject when it was another gentle man. I suppose I could address it to the person with their ID at the top of the message. That would work alot easier.
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