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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?      Home login  
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 jessika2908
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 1
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out? Page 1 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
Recently this discussion came up with a friend of mine. He is going to take his son to the Dr. to see if he might have ADHD or ADD. Myself I can't stand to see a child on the ZOMBIE pills as I call them and I am wondering if this might be a cop out for Drs. to say well, your child has ADHD or ADD here is some pills to make him calm down, and he/she is a zombie for the rest of the day.
My best friend has 4 children 2 step and 2 biological. The 2 steps are boys and one of hers is a boy all three of them are on some kind of pill for ADHD. Her oldest 13 was just "diagnosed" being Bipolar and manic depression. He can't officially be diagnosed bipolar in till he is 18 because it could keep him out of the military or a government job. He has been on ADHD pills sense he was very young and I wonder if this has something to do with his condition now. But I just wonder if something else could have been done at that early age he wouldn't be going threw the things he is now. I might also add his step father who was on these type of pills all of his school career has also been diagnosed with bipolar and manic depression.
What do you guys think? Do you think it is a cop out either by the drs or even us as parents?
 Douglajl
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 2
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/10/2005 8:22:06 PM
Personally, i think it's a cop out.

The social norm nowadays is to medicate and forget. It's a sad state of affairs.

Turn the TV off, spend the time to make the kid realise that just becouse it isn't something associated with the power rangers it still needs to be dealt with.

If the child persists in being irrational or not wanting to concentrate on the subject at hand, then bust his or her ass.
 rainbow_fish
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 3
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/10/2005 8:51:20 PM
I would read up on it... you can change the kids diet and get better results than with meds. Could just be too much sugar and boredom.
 jessika2908
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 4
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/10/2005 8:55:47 PM
You know I read that too, I think Drs are just too quick to medicate the problem. My daughter was showing signs of being way to hyper. I took her off sugar, ok she was allowed a little bit but we cut her down to maybe a piece every other day and she chilled out a lot. Now tonight she had a soccer ceramony and she had all kinds of sweets she was a wild child.

Kudos to you Simbad and to your son. I didn't know it was mandatory though!! That is the most rediculous thing I have ever heard!! I can't believe a Dr can make your child take something like that!!!
 ShadowKnight59
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 5
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/10/2005 9:22:26 PM
Treatment isn't mandatory. ADD/ADHD is also real.

True diet and environment can make a big difference but all too often those changes aren't enough for some kids.

Ritalin is a drug that is considered a last resort one.

I suggest you read up on the topic before spouting nonsense that shows a clear lack of knowledge and is insulting to those with ADD/ADHD and/or have children who are as well.

Kevin
 wonwascallywabbit
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 6
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/10/2005 9:43:58 PM
I truly believe both of these disorders are quite real, however I very much believe that the larger percentage of children diagnosed with this do not have it. I think many, many children are medicated out of convenience. A large percentage of these kids are simply ill manored and have never been taught acceptable behavior. Sadly some think medication is a good replacement for parenting. The flip side is there are some children that truly need and benefit from meds. As much as I detest the lousy parents, I really feel for those who's children really suffer from these problems.
 jessika2908
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 7
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/10/2005 9:46:08 PM
^^^^ I agree with you lynx. I feel for the children that do have this, and feel sorry for the ones that are being medicated for something that would be easier to change there diet.

How was I spouting Nonsense? I was voicing my opinion on something and I never said I had a great deal of KNOWLEGE on the subject. Just things that I have seen!!! And for your information I NEVER said it wasn't real. I just simply said I don't like to see kids on Zombie pills and have seen bad effects from them. If you read up on Ritilin it can have bad side effects to it if taken for a long time!!!
And for your information I was considered a ADHD child, I would sleep only 2 hours a night and would not take naps during the day. My mom had to install a lock on the outside of my door so she would be able to get some rest!! The Dr talked about putting me on Meds and she took me to another DR and she suggested that they take me off all sugars and come to find out I was alergic to some kind of red die and that caused a lot of my hyperness, and made it seem like I was ADHD. I just think that Drs should look more in to things like diet, enviroment and even bordum!! And elimate all possible things before they are quick to put them on pills. That is what I was saying!
I suggest you keep your flames to yourself before it burns your butt!! I was not insulting anyone nor did I mean for this to insult anyone but I have seen too many cases where Drs. are quick to give someone pills before all the other options are weighed!!!
 snowwolf13
Joined: 9/29/2005
Msg: 8
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/10/2005 10:02:38 PM
I had my child extensively tested before I put him on any drugs. His grades improved and he actually liked going to school. He would take his meds on his own when he was in the first grade.

He's now 13 and doesn't need the meds anymore. He's apparently grown out of the problem.
 jessika2908
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 9
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/10/2005 10:09:34 PM
That is wonderful Snow. I am so glad that you did everything you could before he was medicated! I am glad that he doesn't have to take them anymore too. Congrats to the both of you!!
 time2spare
Joined: 9/29/2005
Msg: 10
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/10/2005 11:45:25 PM
Such a touchy subject because both disorders do exist and yes a teacher says, "Not paying attention, not doing homework, not participating, etc." Next thing you know it's morning med time. These children sit and play X Box for hours or watch TV or go places we'd never think of going on the PC, yet in school 20 minutes is an eternity and hyperactivity gets attention. I have seen a child disrupt an entire household at having to do one page of math problems and then go upstairs and put together a Lego battleship with 2000 pieces in 2 hrs. True attention and hyperactivity problems manifest themselves in a wide range of social settings not just in a classroom. Look carefully before using meds and if you have to, work towards the day you no longer will. These kids with real problems usually come to you and know they are broken and need you to help fix them.
 am70sguy
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 11
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/11/2005 12:45:46 AM
lyny summarized everything well. To add to the problem, many school administators will attempt to force parents into medicating their children, making the diagnosis on their own.

I'm about as anti drug as they come, and tried every trick to structuring, simplifying instructions, etc., etc. But when my kid (oldest, now 25) was getting kicked out of class for continuously disrupting it (and he is a good kid, he just absolutely could not sit still or quiet), after seeing a psychiatrist that when through the DSM had to agree to do the ritilan, which at least gave him a fighting chance.

He's great now that he is out of school and can focus where his interests and talents lay.
 time2spare
Joined: 9/29/2005
Msg: 12
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/11/2005 1:04:14 AM
Great to see you too Leafs and with a mother's love and understanding, your son got the perfect help he needed. Well done! Pretty much the same story for 2 of my kids.
 jessika2908
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 13
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/11/2005 5:23:41 AM
Hey nicegirl that is exactly what I was saying when I was a kid on Dr said I was ADHD and the other one took the time to find out if there was any underlying things going on too. Come to find out it was a food allergy. Simple change of diet and I was good to go. Same way with my daughter. I am not saying ADHD isn't a real thing but I am saying do everything possible before your children have to take pills. Now they are even saying adults have this and I have seen drug comercials preaching about getting on something to help. "SAME MAKERS OF PROZAC"!!! Go figure.
 ShadowKnight59
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 14
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/11/2005 12:26:08 PM
Being a parent with ADD/ADHD combined form and having a son who is the same way we tried all the alternatives first as well as multiple doctors and testing prior to any meds. My son is on the lowest does of Adderall XR for his age and weight group.

I am a medium dose for an adult my size. In both cases the meds are only used as needed and it doesn't make either of us Zombies.

I will agree however that there are cases out there where kids are over medicated and non-parented. I will also agree that often times what appears to be ADD/ADHD can be due to food allergies, wheat and red dyes come to mind as major culprits. Todays lifestyle with a kid not having time with parents or a schedule also is a contributing factor. But when you have done for your children and yourself all you can do then sometimes there is nothing left other than meds. Meds are always a last resort.


I would think in any case, the parents are doing what is best for their child and shouldn't be judged.


I couldn't agree more on many levels. It isn't necessarily lazy parents. If I had to guess at a culprit I would look at all of the pollutant combinations we are exposed to on a daily basis and the western industrialized diets.


Kevin
 passionteman
Joined: 3/7/2005
Msg: 15
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 12:59:47 PM
I don't believe such thing as ADD or ADHD exist. It is just society that affects children as well as how they are brought up that might bring about certain behaviour pattern. But it doesn't mean to take pills and put your whole body in dishormany.
 dewkiss31
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 16
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 1:32:15 PM
Well to all the ppl who don't have a child who is ADD or ADHD can kiss my BUTT I have a 10yr old son who is not only ADHD but has other problems also I am glad he is on meds because for years I tried the "NON-MEDS" way and it hurt him more than anything if he is not on his meds it is awful for him he can't consentrate can sit still no matter how hard he tries. He now gets A's in school is able to do his work without going off tast and does great!!!!!!!!!! Don't tell me to bust them in thier ASS!!! Because that does not work with an ADD or ADHD child. Some Children with ADD or ADHD have a mild form of it and it can be controlled with a diet change or other things but some kids need thoes meds. So get off your high horse and relize that some things are needed and they are not a COP OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 jessika2908
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 17
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 1:58:10 PM
Wow Gee now I should kiss your butt because my child doesn't have ADD or ADHD. I don't think so. That is one the most inmature things I have ever heard!!! How dare you tell anyone to kiss your butt!! Wow that is a wonderful mommy role model that is all I have to say about that.
I am thrilled the meds are working for your child that is wonderful the whole reason I wrote this thread in the first place is because I have friends that I am concerned about and wanted other opinions about it. Not to start a flame war Dew. I know that there is cases out there that children would do better with the meds. But there is also cases out there that could be controlled with diet or have a underlying problem, and they are not ADHD or ADD. I do think SOME Drs and parents out there that are to willing to medicate before all other options are weighed.
And there is SOME parents out there that use it as a COP OUT!!!!!! They want to use the fact that there child is acting like a spoiled brat as they have ADHD and can't help it.
So my suggestion is get of your high horse just because your kid has a liget case of adhd doesn't mean there is children that do and are being medicated for no reason. Quit being so narrow minded.
 jn5218
Joined: 11/12/2005
Msg: 18
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 2:46:13 PM
ADHD is like depression, everyone thinks it's a cop out unless you have it. As children you become shunned; as adults, you become social outcasts. You miss a lot in life because you don't know what's going on. It's better to try and see if it works. Can always try other things later. my 2 cents. John
 dewkiss31
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 19
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 2:58:35 PM
Jess I was not refurring to you I was refuring to the ones who were say just beat thier butts and there is no reason to have a kids on meds not to you hun I am sorry if you took it that way I should have been more direct with who I was talking to.
 Douglajl
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 20
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 3:18:01 PM
in other words me

And I stand by it, there might be those few who are in need, but the majority is just lazy parenting.
 jessika2908
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 21
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 4:09:38 PM
That is fine Dew I understand the reason I said that is because I know it is really hard to deal with a child that has this, and you should be happy for the parents that don't have children that have this too. I am always very happy for the parents when I hear about a success story or they find out that the adhd can be controlled.
 dewkiss31
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 22
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 4:28:50 PM
I never meant to make anyone feel bad I am just sick of ppl telling me that there are other options for this problem I think that I have done everthing I can to keep him off this med. thankfully we have got him on one that does not make him a zombie he was like that when we first started certian meds. But now he does great I am thankful that alot of parents don't have to go through this but some of them have no clue what they are saying unless they have been with a child who has a real form of ADD or ADHD and yes I agree that schools and DR sometimes do just throw a kid on meds because they don't want to have to deal with a child who is gifted and outgoing. I am sorry if I blased everyone but it does get old hearing that some ppl think that you are a failure as a parent if your child need these meds. I never meant to offend anyone but after reading some of those posts I guess I just went off.
 Not just a member
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 23
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 5:46:15 PM
I am not sure if I think it is a cop out. I do know it is hard for me to pay attention when I am not interested in the subject at hand. I do know the school tried to tell me my son had ADD and I should have him medicated. I chose to ignore them. Everyone has likes and dislikes.... if the child pays attention when it is a subject or activity he loves, my thinking is he does not have ADD. He is not paying attention because he has zero to little interest. Find interesting subject matter and use it to your advantage. The teachers aren't familiar with my son nor his interests. My son loves sports, if I try to teach him an algebra problem using sports terms.... he not only pays attention, he learns it.
 jessika2908
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 24
ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 8:06:36 PM
Well, although my child does not have ADHD or ADD my best friends kids do, and if you ever had a friend like my best friend and I we share everything including our kids. If they are not at my house they all are at her house. I usally set the table for 4 to 5 and I only have one child. She has all rights to my daughter at school and I have all rights to her kids at school. But we have also been best friends for 13 years and our daughters are 2 weeks to the day apart from one another. So in a way I do have a son that has ADHD.
 pacificnwblonde
Joined: 10/9/2005
Msg: 25
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ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out?
Posted: 11/12/2005 8:54:06 PM
Like any condition, disease or ailment, ADD/ADHD needs to be addressed on an individual basis. Diet my work for one & not for another. For some, medication is indeed an answer. I too had teacher's saying my son was ADHD & I fought it tooth & nail, we tried diet, behavior modification, the whole nine yards. We happen to have a pediatrician who does NOT hand out ritalin like peppermints after dinner. He insisted on further testing. When my son WAS put on meds, it made such an enormous difference in his life that I felt like I had been abusive by denying that change. It does NOT make him a zombie. When unmedicated, THAT is when he is not himself! The meds sort of complete a connection in his brain that make him pleasant, not impulsive, works well in class, he's funny, imaginative & creative. Some parents may put their kids on as an easy out, but by no means judge us all that way, for some of us it was a well studied, well planned decision for the betterment of our children.
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