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 amberbrechey
Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 2
First date ... who pays?Page 1 of 36    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36)
im ols fashioned i feel the first date the guy should
 KingJPW
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 3
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First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 4:46:56 PM
Want to meet me for drinks this Friday?
 BarnBabe
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 4
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 4:47:02 PM
I always ask the guy before we even meet whether the date will be paid for or if it will be Dutch. Saves a lot of grief.
 MWA48315
Joined: 7/1/2005
Msg: 5
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 4:52:10 PM
Old fashioned prostitute. A guy pays for your time? What does he get?
 amberbrechey
Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 6
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 4:55:26 PM
lol omg so I am a prostitute because i feel a guy should pay for the first dinner hell most guys do always if you even try to pay they are like what the hell are you doing , lol oh man hun come on now .
 amberbrechey
Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 9
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 5:04:57 PM
lol yeah I got ya well I dont mind paying I have found some guys who are gentleman get kinda offended . I think it is very sweet now I am not talkin about going out to 200 .00 DINNER hell I am fine with a burger from micky d's and a run on the pay set in it .
 rainbow_fish
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 10
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 5:08:18 PM
Sure he will call again... and even offer to go out again for drinks...
dinner
why not? he is a scumbag.
He figured you did it once, you will do it again.
That is how a scambag is.....

he might even contact you a FEW times...
just to offer again, thinking you may change your mind.


 klrcrsovr
Joined: 12/30/2004
Msg: 11
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 5:14:58 PM
Whoever gets their card out first...doesn't matter to me, but I make a sincere effort to be first...
 DavePinFlorida
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 12
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 6:46:04 PM
I NEVER under any circumstances let a woman I'm on a date with pay for anything, even if she says she's not remotely interested in me. I was raised by a significantly older step-father and he instilled some SERIOUSLY hardcore old-fashioned values.
 Coastergal
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 13
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First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 7:20:54 PM
Girlfriend... This has so many layered risks!!!!!! 1st I have to say that SOOO SuX!!!! What a LOSER that guy was!!!!!

-He didn't sound inteligent... and u didn't want to judge him. (every time I do this and don't listen to my gut instinct... I regret it..... I bet if you look at it... U do too!!! LISTEN and don't go out!!!!!! )

-Don't EVER EVER ride with a guy on a 1st date.... U follow him or let him follow you! Who knows what kind of freak-a-zoid they could be!

-Wowza...hmmm I don't usually pic the restaurant..... and it alway seems so awkward when I go to grab my wallet so I don't even bother anymore.. I hope that no one thinks it's rude... but I'm old fashioned.. and kind of expect the guy to pay... escpecially if they asked me out.... Now later.. if we go to the movies... I'll get the goodies... or I'll cook a great meal....

-I haven't paid for one 1st date in the last year.. the year before I made a horrible mistake... and paid while he went to the bathroom.... so we could go on to a comedy club because we were having fun... but after that it was.. are u paying or am I... not before we'd go out... but right before the check came!!!!! EWWWWW
 Coastergal
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 15
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First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 8:13:57 PM
I'm sooo not blaming u! It totally sux that this has happened and has happened more then once......

I don't lie either......
I've been out on a few dates that I KNEW.... I wasn't really into going but I thought... maybe I'm being too picky..... maybe he's not like that in person.... maybe he'll be more comfortable.... smarter..... LOL Um.... if they can't pull it off online or on the phone!!!! They can't in person!!!!! OMG I sound so mean!

Gir... go with your gut.... who cares if you're being shallow or judgemental... When it comes to dating... It's all about you!!!! You don't want more bullshyt stories like this one!!! right?
 rainbow_fish
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 16
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 8:24:07 PM
This is my theory on it..........
the whole online dating jack in the box of surprises
that it is......


Soon as I see this is a jerk.....
I know......

one of us is going to leave upset.


I have figured out, it is better if its him......
and I don't have any regrets doing what I have to do
to ensure at least one of will have a good time.

 DavePinFlorida
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 19
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 9:45:34 PM
Well, personally I think it's wrong to let a woman pay for anything. As the "hunter gatherer provider" type, we males should be providing for the women we're trying to woo. Just personal opinion.. don't flame me here.. but I think if a woman even offers to pay, that they're sending me a signal they're not interested.
 ray313
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 20
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 9:52:49 PM
I agree with dave...I won't even let close friends who are woman pay for dinner.
 cougar99
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 23
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 11:00:40 PM
Well...sadly you met one of the lower classes of male....but working in the Psychology field, didn't any alarms go off......
Was he very attractive....and maybe his looks over shadowed his lack of manners.
Well I feel that if you are not interested in someone..don't soak them for a 150...200 dollar dinner..then say bye bye, get lost ,ciao..etc. ....just a simple salad or sandwich even just coffee will work.
I would much rather spend money on coffee talking with a friend..then spending over 100 dollars on someone I think I have a chance at finding happiness with. and they are thinking something quite different.
 Bigger Guy
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 24
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First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/14/2005 11:07:53 PM
Hi!
As a gentleman, I always try to pay, if for no other reason, because my late Mother, a wonderful and true lady, always told me that a Gentleman should always do so.
However, there have been times when I have had the opportunity to pay taken away ... not that it bothered me, it just surprised me, in a pleasant way.
A very lovely lady asked me out, I accepted, I picked her up, theatre (she had the tickets ...premise for the date) and dinner at a fine restaurant. A truly wonderful evening. She insisted on paying, even with my sincere protests .... she laughed about it and told me that it was she whom had asked me out.
Like I sakid ......a pleasant and unexpected surprise ... it has happened since too.
 Garofalo7
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 26
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/15/2005 1:41:14 AM
I think that the guy should pay....

Now, this is just me, I always pay, even if she wants to go to some high priced fancy place...

I pay...always, even if she says..."It's okay, I'll pay"

Nope..Nope..nope..nope...I pay
 livewirehere
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 27
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/15/2005 2:05:07 AM
As a single parent, it's nice when a guy pays.. Of course~~ But, I don't want him to feel like it's expected.. I guess that's why I tried arguing about it for so long... I don't do that anymore, and things seem to be much more calm~~
 michaeljustin
Joined: 3/21/2004
Msg: 29
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First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/15/2005 2:42:35 AM
i pay..good way to show your interested in that person and care anuff to pay..unless they jumped on the check and told me no..then i would let them pay.
 Coastergal
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 30
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First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/15/2005 6:47:21 AM
Blastfemme-
Look.. we can't control... who we fall for! There is nothing wrong with falling for someone that doesn't make a lot of money.... It's all about personality..... and chemistry for me! I went out with a Dr that bragged about all the young girls that wanted him (wasn't all that and a bag of chips) A financial guy that bragged about his 5 bedroom house in Tahoe, chick magnet boat, his BMW, hed buy a place close to me if we hit it off (OMG such a turn off)
I went out with someone that worked in a paint store.... had a roommate... lived paycheck to paycheck... We always laughed our as ses off when ever we were together and had great chemistry... I would take the painter over the REST any day!

I'm DEFINATELY not looking to financially support anyone either!!!!! Yes, It REALLY sux when they expect it... I won't even get into the guy that wanted to know which end of the range I made..... and then he felt I should pay for everything..... that got old real quick! Leachy quick!!!!
 j-mix
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 32
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/15/2005 10:01:26 AM

this is not the first time this has happened to me either

girls, why you always choosing wrong guys?

one girl went out with friend of mine (he is married) and told me that "i wish somebody marry me"... my question was, so why you are going out with married man?

why you didn't pay 50/50? why?

ok. good luck next time
 j-mix
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 33
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/15/2005 10:09:09 AM

amberbrechey: im ols fashioned i feel the first date the guy should


Nobody “should” you anything for you Amberbrechey.
You are just using guys because you are beautiful.

Actually, that's because, we guys, love to be used by beautiful girls, so it’s our bad too. Often average girl (with love handles, lol) suggest to pay first or 50/50. Beautiful girls almost never do this (from my small experience)



 cougar99
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 34
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/15/2005 10:18:37 AM
Well if you payed for everything...then I assumed you didn't soak him....read the post carefully....and if he acted like a butt...the entire time, I don't understand....but I would answer his call next time and tell him he is an azz..
My Ex of six years we met at a park and watched a baseball game sure I paid for everything but ...my point is..she didn't want a fancy dinner, but at the same time we wer relaxed and enjoyed the game.
That is what I meant by being "Soaked"...if things didn't go right then we could get up and leave.
And I would have had a nice memory of a baseball game..
Even better invite him to dinner and say you left your money at home...see what he says...
 rainbow_fish
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 37
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/15/2005 12:11:03 PM
@OP
Try doing this...... GO BY YOUR INSTINCTS (gut)
and if you really feel this person is wrong for you.....
just quickly and polietly back out of the relationship/ dinner/ meeting
or whatever the case might be......
I think maybe the problem for you is you feel you have to
explain WHY your not interested in them....
and you are rather honest and direct by nature....
and that is why
they come to view you as shallow and all that.

You do not have to tell them WHY your not interested.....
or explain anything.
Just a "thanks but I'm not interested"
will do......

I personally feel that in my intimate and closest relationships
I have not been judgemental enough about who I allow in... in the past.
It really created some problems too.
I have learned to trust my gut instincts now.
If you feel someone is wrong for you.. you are most likely right.
All you have to do is make an exit. There is nothing you really are
obligated to explain... just a "thanks but no thanks" will work

Next time you meet a scumbag like that... if your having dinner....
just stand up and say. sorry this isn't working for me.. and walk out.
 j-mix
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 39
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 11/15/2005 12:19:33 PM

For an old-fashioned type like me, the choice is clear......the guy pays.


For a jerk like me, the choice is clear... the girl should pay always!

So far, if i'm "using" the girl, then she is nice to me. If i'm trying to be nice (sometimes i can), she is starting to use me.

Why it is?
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