Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Can you forgive a one time cheater?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Diggy03
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Can you forgive a one time cheater?Page 1 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
I guess some things need to be learned the hard way....
 Not just a member
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 5
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 10:28:35 AM
The only way you can get past it, is by exiting stage left. Shout Next! and move on. Take care of yourself and I wish you the best.
 Diggy03
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 11:00:02 AM
,ladys may be you are doing something wrong that is driving your men to seek it elsewhere, check your mistakes?????????


Funny how you as a male are so eager to blame the person who got cheated on.

There is no justification for anyone.. male or female to CHEAT on their partner.

In fact if they are not adult enough to break off the current relationship to be with another person.. well then I guess they aren't worth being with by either party.

And those individuals who help a person cheat.. I can guarantee you if they cheated on their partner.. they will most definitely cheat on you.. give it time.

EDIT: I refuse to give in to the troll!!!
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 9
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 11:08:30 AM
Not into sloppy seconds ... ewwwww
 Diggy03
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 11:20:34 AM
dimples.. perhaps you should have stated that in the beginning.

Regardless.. cheating is cheating and whether you want to keep hurting yourself mentally and emotionally by staying with the person who cheated... yes infidelity is a form of abuse.. is up to you.

Good luck in any decisions you come to and may you never go through catching the one you truly love in bed with another.
 HB2
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 17
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 12:01:19 PM
It's the lies that go along with it that make me step back and say...no frigging way would I take him back.

I can forgive but am not stupid enough to put myself in that position again...
 Diggy03
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 12:07:24 PM
Ok... someone cheats on their partner....who really cares what excuse is given...

Trust is gone and to be no more, what std's do they now carry because of their stupidity? Obviously they are not mature enough to end what they already have to step into anothers private world....

Whatever... you can all decide/think what you want. I know from first hand experience as the one who was cheated on... it is not a pretty thing. And as for working it out.. HA I tired as I was five months pregnant with his child at the time.... he disgusted me and I never touched him in any way after the fact.

Nothing can keep you two together. Again.. I guess some things need to be learned the hard way.

Damn.. I gave out way too much info.... at least it got my point across.
 mustangsally1273
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 12:08:38 PM
Once the trust is gone, how can you move on? Relationships can't survive without trust...the main ingredient...
 carguy33544
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 22
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 1:02:32 PM
You are right once the trust is broken in a relationship from either side it is all over there is no getting it back.
It dosen't even have to be about sex!
Trust and communication are the foundation to any relationship and without them you have nothing.
You do not see the person the same way as before because you dont trust them.
You can not live your life that way and be constantly woundering what your partner is doing.
Yes you can forgive them and then go on your way.
 look in
Joined: 6/24/2005
Msg: 26
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 3:20:20 PM
Shit happens

when something like this happens and you see your life pass in front of you, then it is up to you to decide

would you be better with or without them

UBU and so are they

that does not mean they should be allowed to continue with your approval
but you have to ask yourself and you have to decide

would you be better with or without them
 look in
Joined: 6/24/2005
Msg: 28
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 3:37:24 PM
cheating is a choice


Maybe this is something the person does by choice but not necessarily his/her choice

There is always the chance the cheating occurred due to lack of needs being fulfilled by a partner, and rather than just walking away and ending everything, maybe a certain value is put on the relationship whereas it can possibly be repaired instead of being totally disposed of.
No one approves of cheaters, including those that cheat
But should everything be thrown away because of inadequacies of possibly both partners
 Tina1969
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 3:48:50 PM
I did and am not to sure if I would again. It caused alot of hurt and you can forgive but you can't forget. I think alot f it depends on the status of the relationship too. If it's new, move on. If' it's a relationship that you've been in a long time, decide if it's worth saving.
 Synical
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 32
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 9:58:23 PM
Depends on the circumstances. I've had it happen, and the circumstances surrounding it led me to give him another chance. Easy to forgive, harder to forget .. but time takes care of that. It took him a long time to earn my trust back, but he didn't betray it again. Some people really do make mistakes, and learn from them.
 look in
Joined: 6/24/2005
Msg: 34
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 11:17:01 PM
Synical, I agree with you
Cheating is not a trait for all
It is something that has happened for some reason without regard to the 2 people involved
It can be caused by many things
Too much temptation
Not enough attention
Life in general
A one time cheater only cheated one time because there was something that caused it to happen
Someone that lives to see how many they can have that is a completely different story
 Synical
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 36
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/18/2005 5:45:28 AM
Cheating is betraying the sanctity of the core of the relationship. I’m not sure how many would agree but, the making of love, sex, is one of the most intimate parts of any relationship.



Unfortunately, no, not always. Often, cheating is a trap someone falls into when something has led them to that. Sometimes its better to figure out what led the person to make that decision in the first place. The betrayal often comes long before the cheating, and is what caused the person to fall into that position to begin with. If you havn't been there, you won't understand, so I won't go on.

I won't bother trying to defend this repeatedly, because everyone has their own point of view of how to handle the situation should they be involved in it. Thats fine .. you're the one who has to live with your decisions. If you're in that type of situation, and choose to terminate the relationship immediately, that's completely your choice. If I were with someone who cheated solely for the sake of getting some on the side, that would be my standpoint too. And no, I wouldn't allow for a defense of "I was too drunk" or any other poor excuse. That's the cheapest excuse I've ever come across.

I do know for a fact that the line "once a cheater, always a cheater" is a myth. If someone else believes it to be true, I would have to say that they know the wrong people. Just because you've never seen a person cheat once, learn from their mistakes, and never do it again, does not mean that person doesn't exist. To say otherwise is generalizing.

Just my opinion, based on my own experiences.
 MissMandy
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 40
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/19/2005 7:44:28 PM
Never had it done to me, as far as I know. I would not remain in the sit'n, despite the reasons behind it. Ever.... See ya pal...
Some things are impossible to forgive...infidelity being one of them IMO
 Talitha001
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 42
view profile
History
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/19/2005 10:32:24 PM
I, personally, could never forgive a cheater...period!!
 r1Dutch
Joined: 2/1/2005
Msg: 43
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/19/2005 10:59:28 PM
Ditto. If I can't receive the same honesty and integrity that I give (I have never cheated. Ever), then I'm gone. I'm a tolerant person in most respects. I can forgive a lot. Except when it comes to fidelity.
 sammysalt
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 44
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/20/2005 3:19:13 AM
Not happened to me, and if it did I would move on with out him, because I would deserve better. I don't want to be with someone that I can't trust 100%, but thats just me.
 mustangsally1273
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/20/2005 3:45:29 AM
No, no way ..no how. If you CHEAT...you'll never stop, especially if you get away with it. Either accept it like a fool, or get a life with a REAL man/woman and not have to worry about it. You design your destiny at that point.
 mustangsally1273
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/20/2005 4:15:55 AM
I agree too because they are the ones setting up the sequence of events to follow, but if you accept them back after they have cheated, I believe you are also setting yourself up...if you know they have cheated, they most likely will again, it's time to move on and fish in a different pond, maybe one not so contaminated.
 Thudpucker
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 49
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/20/2005 5:29:12 AM
-- NO -- I'm too fragile, I guess. -- NO --
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/20/2005 6:14:19 AM

I guess what it comes down to is how you feel and what you think. If there's one thing I have learned over the years it's that NO ONE can judge a relationship they are not in. (Msg 22)



Exactly, Dimples! So many people say sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship.... enjoying similar activities, holding similar beliefs, working towards similar goals are all just as important.....yet they'll throw it all away because their partner had an affair. Don't be influenced by those who are unable to forgive.

In many cases people throw away a great relationship/marriage because of their ego. Society looks at someone who forgives their partner as being a fool. As you correctly wrote, "NO ONE can judge a relationship they are not in.

We are taught to believe an affair is the worst thing that can happen. If it has happened to you look at it realistically. What, exactly, did you lose? Is it worth it to lose all the good things the relationship offered by throwing it all away?

Some folks feel they'll punish their partner by divorcing or ending the relationship and they end up hurting themselves further. They become bitter because it was their own ego that caused the additional harm. They go through life ranting about how their partner's affair destroyed lives when it was their unwillingness or inability to forgive.
 look in
Joined: 6/24/2005
Msg: 52
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/20/2005 6:39:52 AM
@YES I can. What is so hard about it?

So can I
 look in
Joined: 6/24/2005
Msg: 53
Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/20/2005 7:25:34 AM
when you weigh out what caused it
when you weigh out do you want to be with or without this person

these things have no answers without all the facts

this is not a repeat offender
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Can you forgive a one time cheater?