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 lostprophet
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 1
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!Page 1 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
The other night my girlfriend ask me for my password to plenty of fish. I ask her why? She told me she was just curious to see the type of people that e-mailed me. I told her that if she trusted me in our relationship that she wouldn't need my password. I told her that I have nothing to hide and I don't. I mean come on, it says I have a girlfriend in my profile! She got extremely pissed off when I would give her the password. What do you guys think about this?
 HB2
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 2
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 10:19:41 PM
Tell her to set up her own account and cruise the forums so she can see for herself
 lostprophet
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 3
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 10:21:19 PM
She does have an account she is on the site!! She already knows how I feel about this issue, which is why I don't hesitate to post on it. But what do you think about the question: Should I give her the password?
 lowbud
Joined: 11/18/2005
Msg: 4
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 10:31:22 PM
if you have nothing to hide.. sure why the hell not. but get her's while your at it.. two can play that game.
 lostprophet
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 5
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 10:36:16 PM
Here is another question I have for you guys. Do you buy the fact that she wants it to see who is e-mailing me or do you think that she just wants to babysit me?
 stew721
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 6
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 10:38:15 PM
If she trusted you, there'd be no need to want it. However, the same can be said if you have nothing to hide then go ahead. It's really up to you whether you feel comfortable giving it to her or not. If you do though, it would only be fair that she also provide you with hers as well.
 BarnBabe
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 7
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 10:39:12 PM
She's being insecure. If it were me, I wouldn't give out the password. You never know when a person will turn out to be a psycho.
 lostprophet
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 8
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 10:50:23 PM
It seems like the general consensus here is that if she trusted me, than she would not be asking for the password.
 cougar99
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 9
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 10:51:05 PM
I met a lady on line one time...and we used to belong to a chat community.
Well she wanted my hotmail password said if I were honest ,I would give it to her..I said honesty has nothing to do with it...its being nosy.
She would call me late at night to see if I was with anyone.
And she also wrote all the women in the community, and asked them if I ever talked to them....see where I am going with this?...
If there is trust then there is no need to know a password...
Sadly,some confuse insecurity and honesty.
 lowbud
Joined: 11/18/2005
Msg: 10
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 10:55:56 PM

It seems like the general consensus here is that if she trusted me, than she would not be asking for the password.


if she did trust you there's no way she would want your password. so obviously there's issues somewhere.
 HaveYouMetHayden
Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 11
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History
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 10:56:17 PM
A tricky conundrum... If you don't give it to her, she gets unhappy, if you give it to her and you are friendly (no hidden meaning) with some attractive women, chances are she will be unhappy... What about an inbetween? Let her look around your profile when you are in it already. You can always change the password too.
 MediCat
Joined: 10/19/2005
Msg: 12
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 10:56:41 PM
I say give it to her...right after you get hers. Who is she kidding with the "wanting to see what types are emailing you" bit? She just wants to snoop. Not to mention that if she still has access to the site she might just as well be up to no good.

I think that she is having some trust issues here and maybe you two need to talk about it. If you two are serious about each other and are sure that you both have a common goal for the relationship, neither of you needs to maintain profiles here -- they should be deleted. If you think that it is a good way to meet new friends, then yeah, keep them up but be sure to be honest with each other and everyone else on here, i.e. state in your header that you are taken and, in terms of your activities on the site, live up to that for as long as the relationship lasts.

Otherwise hon...she has her own password, what does she need yours for?

Good luck.
 lostprophet
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 13
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 10:57:07 PM
Cougar99:

Well said. I know exactly what you mean. I have never given her a reason not to trust me. In fact let's just say I was tested and passed.lol. You just have to wonder at what point will the trust issues be satisfied? You can't be with someone 24 hours a day, you must have some trust.
 lostprophet
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 14
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 11:04:30 PM
I keep my profile on this site to surf the forums. I see nothing wrong with that and either does my girlfriend. I have clearly stated in my profile that I have a girlfriend so I don't see a conflict.
 bewitchingsecret
Joined: 11/15/2005
Msg: 15
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/4/2005 11:06:50 PM
You may be the exception to the rule, but most times ppl are up to no good when they're on here (and have a significant other). I'd be questioning her motives for wanting to get into your acct. It's been my experience that the ones that are so curious about your activity are the ones that are being the most "active"
 Raven1
Joined: 9/14/2004
Msg: 16
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/5/2005 1:09:09 AM
Nah, I don't think she's being insecure. See, some might argue, why are the two of you on a dating site at all if you are in a committed relationship? Instead of making this a power issue or feeling like someone's acting like your mom, if I was in your shoes, I'd smile and give it to her, and say, hey, no problem. I'd say, I want you to always feel like you can trust me, and that you can share stuff with me, too. And I'd ask her to share her password too, with me.



First off, YES, she is being insecure. That's blatently obvious and if anyone can't see that then their blind. She has a profile on here too. Yet, you don't see her b/f asking for her p/w. There is definately a trust issue in the relationship.

If she wanted to see pictures of the people you're communicating with you could easily log-on with her there and she could see the pics (no need to give out passwords). ALTHOUGH I personally don't think you should have to go that far. What's to stop her from communicating with them down the road if she recognizes them on here.
It could be fine and harmless, OR she could start messaging people asking about you, and well, I don't know about you but I think it'd be pretty embarassing for my g/f to start messaging people I communicate asking things like "what do you two discuss?", etc.
Even if it's harmless small talk between you and others on this site and NOTHING more.

Secondly, how could you say he should give her his p/w?
Have you ever heard of "CONFIDENTIALY" and "DESCRESSION"?

Birdy, let's say you and I started communicating on here and we developed a friendship. A mutual trust and respect between each other, and you told me things about your life, familly, friends, or others that was in total CONFIDENCE and expected me to keep to myself. How would you feel if you found out other people were reading our correspondence?
Some people may not mind since they may not know the individual reading it. However, some people would.

They BOTH have the right to a certain amount of privacy between them as long as it's harmless communication.

The only way to bring resolution to this confict is for you two to sit down and discuss it rationally and get to the root of the problem (it may even have stemmed from something greater).

Handing out your password is NOT the answer however. What's next? Your personal e-mail account? Your bank account? Where does it end?

 hairybum
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 17
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/5/2005 1:49:31 AM
She shouldn't be asking for your password. But if you want to reassure her, maybe you shouldn't put your picture on your profile. Maybe you should change it from "looking for a woman who is looking for friends" to "looking for a man who's looking for friends". Maybe you should have said you're bald and not commented on your body type. Basically make it so that you wouldn't turn up on anyone's searches. Like what I did. ;)
 Opium
Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 18
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/5/2005 2:57:13 AM
it's a slippery slope that you'll be embarking on if you give her the password. Why not just get a couples profile? That way both of you can use it and have a common password. Just like a joint bank/checking account, no?
 crystalise
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 19
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/5/2005 3:18:52 AM
There was only one reason she wanted that password and that was to snoop on you

I would have grave concerns at any one who cant respect any privacy . Whats next, she wants to look through your phone and open your mail? She either trusts you or she doesnt

Word of warning, if she is obviously that insecure and paranoid about you she will try to crack your password without your knowledge. This has serious hangups written all over it.

The issue of whether or not you should be on this dating site when in a relationship is a totally different issue as I see it and should be discussed between the two of you, alone. Spying on you is not the answer to that question.
 7times
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 20
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/5/2005 5:28:01 AM
I figure since you both have a profile on here, like the one guy said get her password also.. Hell I'll mail you and she will think guys are hitting on you
 namelessgrace
Joined: 7/3/2005
Msg: 21
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/5/2005 6:03:53 AM
Don't do it darlin'........there's no reason for her to have it. If she would like to see who's sending you emails, log with her and show her. BUT, unless you've done something to give her reason to not trust you...she has no right to it. I think it might be an age thing since you are only 21. She is just feeling insecure, and hopefully, she'll get over it. But people in committed relationships are still allowed to have privacy, don't let anyone tell you different! My boyfriend is on this site as well....although he doesn't 'do' the forums so he's not around much since we started dating...but I would NEVER dream of asking for his password. I trust him totally, and you know what....(and she needs to realize this) IF someone is going to cheat, they will do it with or without you having a password. It's silly. Either she trusts you, or she doesn't. Simple. Being able to monitor you here will only be the start if you give in. She needs to accept that you are allowed your own space and it's not a reflection of your feelings for her. Best of luck to you.
 lostprophet
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 22
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/5/2005 6:37:14 AM
Cara2005:

You made so many great points, but I wanted to focus in on one in particular.

" She needs to understand that respecting someones privacy is as important as having her privacy respected"

This is a big issue. I have chosen to be faithful and have nothing to hide so I feel like I don't need to be watched. Here is an analogy. Let's say that you have nothing illegal in your house (in other words you have nothing to hide). Even if this was the case, would you want the police rummaging through all of your personal belongings? It is definitely a privacy issue as well.
 lostprophet
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 23
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/5/2005 6:43:03 AM
Another general consensus is that if I do give her the Plenty of Fish Password, it is just the beginning!
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 24
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Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/5/2005 7:06:50 AM
It's a matter of trust and principle. I would NOT give anyone my password on this basis. If she couldn't accept that, then she would be history. Has she offered to give you hers, BTW? Even so, I would not accept hers nor give mine, no matter that I have nothing to hide.

That said, my SO knows all my accounts and passwords in case of an emergency, but has never used them without asking me first or at my request. I have hers, as well, and don't snoop on her or abuse the privilege. I should note that the trust developed over time as we learned about each other and learned that the trust was fully justified.
 lostprophet
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 25
Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!
Posted: 12/5/2005 7:58:17 AM
The bottom Line: I will not give out my password. I am entitled to my privacy and so is she. I will not ask for hers either.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Girlfriend Wants Plenty of Fish Password!