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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!      Home login  
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 Sweete_
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 4
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
ton_dessert

If you think giving ultimatiums are the way to go...your in trouble hun!..Men don't like that, and they don't respond very positively to them.
 bluemystery
Joined: 9/18/2004
Msg: 5
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 10:45:36 AM
If this man is not representing what you are looking for then you must break it off...as Gazoo said, those are the reasons you can give him. Differing family goals could be possibly the most tragic of incompatabilities.
I suspect he would make it difficult for you to leave the relationship, and if this is the case, then please find a support...friend, sister...etc...
It will not take long to feel relieved and inspired...you can find what you are looking for.
Laughing at you and calling you stupid is abusive, and you have a choice to make...but if you can't leave yet, at least stand up to him, unless to do so will bring violence....in which case LEAVE and STAY GONE.

Be well.
 cougar99
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 10
Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:02:21 AM
I am a bit confused you want to find a nice guy or should you dump this guy?.
Well, I think you can do a lot better than this guy...lol..You can do better than this guy.
He wants a relationship on his terms only, you don't need that.
There are a lot of nice guys out there, who will treat you with a lot more repsect than he does.
Just be careful......observe and listen to your instincts.
Good Luck..
 bluemystery
Joined: 9/18/2004
Msg: 11
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:05:09 AM
Gazoo is absolutely right...read her posts again and again, those are the answers you seek.
As for telling him...write it out...read it too yourself...read it outloud...read it in front of the mirror...look into your own eyes and speak outloud what you have to say...and then you will have some ground to stand on...there is no "right time" or "wrong time" to talk to him....the sooner the better though.
Consider giving at time limit in which you will do it....say a month? 2 weeks?
You will do the right thing...but stay out of the self pity trap, you only weaken yourself by doing this.
 cougar99
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 12
Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:05:25 AM
I agree with Gazzoo...like the Nike commercial..."Just Do It"...you are young and you have too much life ahead of you to deal with him.
 bluemystery
Joined: 9/18/2004
Msg: 19
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:22:25 AM
I can't speak for your man, but for me if a woman wants to leave me, there really is no best way to do it. Letters are out, forget hysterics and heated conflict....probably I would appreciate if she sat down with me at a time when I am well fed and relaxed, and simply told me. I would likely argue and question, but she would have to remain strong in her resolve and leave the conversation at that...if she were truly leaving.
You need a plan for after you put it to him. ..some place to go, or someplace for him to go.
Don't put it to him as a means of testing his loyalty, or as a threat. If you tell him you want out, then make sure there is follow through...its true, ultimatames...(sp) backfire...
When you tell him its over, make sure its over...do not continue the conversation or fight or whatever...us human beings can be very manipulative, especially when the other person is shakey. BE STRONG.
 bluemystery
Joined: 9/18/2004
Msg: 23
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:31:44 AM
Kandi! I am a nice one and no wife!!...lol

Maybe you need to leave, instead of asking him to. Get a plan!
...the phone...hmmmm...I doubt that is wise, perhaps in early stages of relationship...but not after this much emotional investment. He would take you less seriously on the phone than in person
You know what you need to do...and unless you change your mind drastically, you are probably very close to doing it...you can put it off for as long as you want, but at this point I doubt you will be able to clear your mind of wanting out.
 cougar99
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 26
Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:42:54 AM
One of the most important things in a relationship is communication and it is not there...
LonelyinKansas.. most of us hate going to the dentist...but after we leave the office we are glad we went..see the analogy
Trust your judgement and put his stuff outside.....he has a truck he can put it all in there.
Ask yourself two questions....am I happy?...can I change things if I want to?
Stop putting yourself down...he is feeding off of that.
And he knows you will always be there...is that what you call respect?....he doesn't answer the phone,what if you were in trouble?....he didn't answer because he doesn't care.
Get rid of him and worry about it later...just do it....don't think about how he feels...he doesn't think or care how you feel.
 bluemystery
Joined: 9/18/2004
Msg: 27
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:45:24 AM
Your profile says you are single...be careful...jumping from one frying pan to another is never a good way to go. You might consider time away from the idea of love and relationship for a while, to get yourself together. The more together you are, the more together your new attractions will be, all in good time. Be patient. Some ppl will say a good rebound does the trick..but make sure you see it for what it is should you choose to go that route....you can't emotionally afford another deep investment for a while.
 bluemystery
Joined: 9/18/2004
Msg: 31
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:54:44 AM
You only stress yourself out by analyzing the details. Cross those bridges as you come to them. If it feels appropriatte to say it, then say it...its true, you do love him. However, in my world, Love does not always equate togetherness...as for the phonecalls, just be yourself.
You have thought about it now, you have gotten lots of feedback...put it to rest a while...think about something else that is just for you..maybe a hobby, you seem to like writting...go out...watch mind numbing TV....make your fav food..have a bubble bath...anything to take the mind from this. Avoid the daydreams of another relationship for now. Plenty off time..(and Fish..lol) for that later.You are the most important person in your life...not him. Put yourself first, it is not selfish..it is self preserving.
 bluemystery
Joined: 9/18/2004
Msg: 35
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:59:55 AM
I do not wish to be harsh, but I must be blunt. Self pity is what keeps you stuck...thoughts of giving up and moving away are not practical right now, if you are truly considering a move, then plan. But right now, find some peace of mind.
 Nghtshft
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 39
Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 2:00:29 PM
He's controlling you . He knows that you'll be there when he comes home....I say you owe it to yourself to move on and find someone who will be there for YOU...he's out there, you need to just find him.....
 baybe Ruth
Joined: 12/7/2005
Msg: 40
Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 2:09:40 PM
I sometimes dress like a guy my body is like a guys I am nice my hair is short like a guy my legs are hairy like a guy my feet smell like a guy my butt is hairy like a guy but i am really nice not like a guy Give me a chance and you will never go back to dick
 ncpackrat
Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 57
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 4:26:47 PM
Good luck Young Lady you need it.My last girl friend had another guy and I found out about it after a while,also she had been seeing him before me.I just pointed to the door!Also cought her in lies and let them build up,well it came home.You deserve better and hope the out come works!
 Robglide
Joined: 11/11/2005
Msg: 62
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 5:24:56 PM
Why live unhappy?

Kick his dead ass to the curb, it'll hurt for a bit and then you'll move on like we all have at some time or another.

Or.....

Live unhappy.

Best of luck to you whichever choice you make.........
 hk165
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 63
Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 5:26:38 PM
In keeping with the title I do know one guy but he's in Sacramento anbd is a little to old for you. Good luck, Bill
 Le Roi
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 65
Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 6:07:15 PM

I am so confused. I am in a relationship right now, but I want a guys oppinion on how to break up with him. He's a truck driver and is gone for 18 days at a time. Its hard to make a relationship work. When he is out, he doesn't call me that much. I can't take it anymore. If I am going to be with someone, I need them to communicate with me and he's not doing that. I want to eventually get married and have kids, and he doesn't want either of that. Sometimes, I feel like I am wasting my time with him. I love the time that we do have together, when we're not arguing. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to find someone that I can spend the rest of my life with and I just don't think thats going to happen. I don't think Mr. Right is out there. I keep meeting a ton og Mr. Wrong's though. Help.


Hmmm, sounds like we are in a similar canoe Ms. Right does not exist in my life. That's why I am divorced twice and am continually single. Too bad you are in Kansas and not BC
 browneyedgirl65
Joined: 12/1/2005
Msg: 69
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/14/2005 10:38:01 PM
Hey Kansas: Nice name by the way. Ever watched the movie Coyete Ugly, just from that I get... you know, you're pretty young, at 22 if you are woried you won't find your true love then honey, my hope is all gone....the point here is...you do what is right for you...and you will definitely know when you have had enough..the reason I say this actually comes from some experience, not mine...but borrowed...lol....I will tell the story, if you choose to read that is up to you....my friend, she put her man through all the training to be a truck driver...took out a loan and everything..which she is still payin.....same thing as you....but then she got it... unfortunately after her honey lost his liscense and couldn't drive anymore, before the loan got paid off...one day..like I said to her...one day, enough will be enough and you will know....You will know too....relationships are not made up of arguements, not that they are not part of it but they are not the part you remember first....hon, you have alot of years to find what is right for you...don't settle...be true to you....Take it easy. ok.
 veni vedi vici
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 71
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Posted: 12/15/2005 3:04:44 PM
these things take time sweetie just hang on.....
 bluemystery
Joined: 9/18/2004
Msg: 74
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/15/2005 4:14:37 PM
Lonely in kansas...better to ignore 9000...responding gives him fuel to continue with his unreasonable remarks.
 :
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 76
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/15/2005 8:53:12 PM
So yet again where are all the nice guys, eh?

That one is easy, they are playing video games in their mothers basement. Hahahah…

Seriously the nice guys, by that you mean non-jaded, and non-whiney? Answer is just as simple…

Married.
 :
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 79
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/18/2005 9:46:31 AM
nope nope nope, they are all gone, I killed them and ate their brains to gain their powers of seduction...

Honestly can you trust a guy that has to tell you he is nice?

By the way to the person who started this thread, I am sorry to hear that, trucking is rough on relationships, I am not sure what to say, sorry...

If you want my advice, it would have to be, break up with him quickly and clearly, honestly, guys appreciate it when you are definitive, tell him what ever he needs to hear but make it clear that it is over, he will respect you more for it. Oh and do not suggest you remain friends, if you want to be his friend display that with actions, (this guy, like me (and most men) is not a big phone talker obviously) actions not with words, in my experience the biggest post break up friendship killer is the "lets just be friends" (or LJBF for short) speech.

oh and sugar, I don't think your crazy, crazy in love maybee, it is admirable that you have stuck it out despite the obvious difficulties you must face.
 Legoman2
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 81
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/18/2005 12:53:21 PM
so here's my 2 pennies:

i to am a truck driver who is gone 5-14 days at a time... honest opinon(spellin?)..

..... he's not worth it...
now, i'm in the same situation as u(sort of), i'm finding that no matter what time of year it is u need to do whats best for u, take care of u first, he's a taker, not a giver.
most guys, the good one's , would make EVERY effort to keep in contact with u while there on the road, that is if they care about ya, there's no excuse if they say "i dont have time to chat or call u"
bulls**T.. ummm.. payphone?
may your heart heal and u find unconditional love and friendship.
t.care.GBjavascript:smilie('')
 mogrl
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 83
Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/18/2005 6:35:29 PM
crawl under a rock and make him leave you??? Sounds like he already left you .....
 Legoman2
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 84
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Are there any nice guys left? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/18/2005 6:36:17 PM
hope it goes as best as it possibly can.
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