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 UrbanMyth
Joined: 7/13/2005
Msg: 3
Cheating- can you forgive?Page 1 of 59    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

I've always been a firm believer of once a cheater always a cheater


That says it all...my wife cheated on me...we tried, but it never did work out..and we had kids. If you are dealing with someone without empathy, then it will not work..if you are dealing with someone who can't forgive THEMSELF for what they did to you..it won't work. You're not married, you don't have kids...you can almost bet a million bucks he'll do it again.
 macromorgan
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 5
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:09:24 PM
Forgive? That's a personal issue. I always forgive eventually. But never forget. You said it best, "once a cheater, always a cheater". You're right. When someone demontrates that they are unable to be trusted in a relationship, you should no longer waste your time trying to pursue a relationship with them.
 Thudpucker
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 7
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:09:30 PM
I really tried one time. I found out I couldn't.
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 8
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:09:54 PM
ho hum. yes I can forgive.............
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 11
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:12:17 PM
once a cheater always a cheater...

once a dog strays blah blah blah



well, good, I guess that means I shouldn't bother dating women who have left their marriages either, because they will probably walk again
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 15
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:19:26 PM
it was as ridiculous as yours.

Frankly, I want nothing to do relationship wise with people who carry their anger toward their cheater around with them. I forgave mine, and so should everyone else Because I said so.
 Racer71
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 17
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:20:20 PM
nope, wouldn't forgive
 sammysalt
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 19
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:22:45 PM
Many do, but then most of the time it happens again. lets face it. once you let people know you wont leave, then they think its o.k. to do it, because you will stay.
If my man wants to risk getting something, and giving it to me, and not tell me, then I have no reason to stay with someone that didn't care what he might pass on.
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 20
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:23:05 PM
I am also not very interested in people that dont know how to forgive things, It shows a lack of willingness to try. Pass, thank you very much
 sammysalt
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 22
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:25:50 PM
You could forgive someone that said they loved you and cheated on you with someone with hiv and didn't know it?
Mine has never cheated, but a lot of people get cheated on, and get things. Trust is risky stuff now days.
 Shangrilah
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 23
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:27:16 PM
Don't we all need to be forgiven at one time or another?
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 24
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:32:05 PM
yes we do all need to be forgiven for things. with me, it is drying my socks over the rafters.

And I forgive the original poster for starting yet another thread about cheaters
 beinggood692003
Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 27
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:34:34 PM
My ex-husband cheated on me, and we did get back together after several weeks. Unfortunately, things were never the same emotionally and when it happened again a year or two later, it was over and I've never looked back. Just as a couple of other people have said - you never forget. The one thing I can say is that I gave it my best shot and in the end it just didn't work out - but I tried. Although I don't want to generalize, I think it's fair to say that the majority of those who cheat WILL cheat again. But the next time, they'll know how to do it better.

People are different. I've known others who have had a cheating spouse, they were separated and then got together again - and the relationship was better than ever, with no more cheating. Just depends how each person feels and whether or not they can deal with what's happened. I do believe, though, that it's important to forgive in order to move on........
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 28
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:37:44 PM
well, big whoop working girl, so you walked on yours, like about a billion other hurtin pups. Forgetting the vows of for better or worse. Go ahead and justify it all you want, I still wont be in a real relationship with someone who didnt exhaust all options in their marriage.
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 30
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:43:50 PM
sure, a dog bisquit would be fine, thanks.

And yes you were speaking to me. Dont lie, and remember, No chatting.

This thread gets posted daily.
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 32
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:49:38 PM
good point.

what if they cheat because they arent getting their emotional needs met by you? What do you do to change?
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 34
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:58:22 PM
I was talking about women, smarty pants I know you knew that.
 uneekguy
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 41
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/16/2005 5:37:51 PM
Well...if a guy or a gal runs to someone else it's usually cuz you couldn't furnish what he was looking for....or...he wouldn't give it up.
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 42
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/16/2005 5:43:24 PM
yeah, really, There is a REASON. I mean some needs werent being met. Come on, get off your high horse people. Admit that you were to blame
 WelcomeBack1974
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 43
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/17/2005 11:12:14 AM
yes u can but can u ever trust them again?-i was married for 10 years and one day out of the blue he cheated on me-forgivnesss was the easy part-we couldnt make it work becuz i couldnt trust him-so i dont think forgivness is what breaks ppl up after cheating its the lack of trust!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 worstguyonhere
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 48
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/17/2005 12:59:56 PM
Yep no problem. This may come as a shock to many but I've made a boatload of mistakes, some unwittingly but moreover they were overt. I continue to make them. I don't anticipate ever changing. Degree as it is related to indiscretion is wholly forgiveable in my world. To expect more is delusional. To forgive less is disingenuous. To run rampantly over the soul of someone you love should not be excused, merely tolerated with provision. Once/always? That's a broad brush.
Revisit your options, trust is a critical element. I concede that. Abandoning your friend? Maybe there is something deeper afoot.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/17/2005 1:43:08 PM
Cheating is just another sign that your relationship is in trouble. It is not the only thing that is the problem, there are multiple ones that lead up to that or included in that attitude.

We all make mistakes and forgiveness is the highest form of caring and love for that person......forgetting takes time and must be earned. Time and openness, caring and honesty with all things over time can heal most mistakes, including cheating.

Getting each other help just as you would with a disease or accident, is important and taking the time to see what you can or can not live with and why is all part of this forgiveness and in the long run, earning that respect back enough to forget too......

Just my opinion....
 jengiz65
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 50
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/17/2005 1:51:19 PM
once a cheater, always a cheater......Never forgive!!.nuff said!!
 Ms. Picky
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 52
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/17/2005 2:28:01 PM
I agree, wolfboy.

I have always said that I could forgive a drunken one night stand a lot easier than an ongoing affair.

Then again, I haven't put that into practice yet. I've dumped any man who cheated on me, but it just so happens that I've always been cheated on with an ex of theirs.
 newfierocker
Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 54
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 12/24/2005 11:08:36 PM
The way i seen it is if someone cheats on your and you forgive them... then they know they can get away with it..... if someone cheats on you... cut the releationship off right there... life it to short to have someone in your life making a fool out of themselves and you along with it.... enough pain in this world and no need having somone in your life that is going to create more problems.... peace of mind is everything
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